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Maeve plummeted into the crammed bus with her best feet forward and barely before the doors closed, she managed to squeeze in through the tight gap. Although she could feel the curious eyes on her, without meeting any of them, she reached into her jacket's breast pocket and removed her travel pass and held it on the card reader. After a pause, it beeped its approval and she quickly glanced at the driver to smile apologetically but he had already moved on from her to the traffic he was watching on his side mirror. The bored, benign and dissatisfied eyes bore at whatever that had caught his attention.
Moving on, she pushed through a couple of passengers until she reached the bottom of the stairs and glanced upwards to the upper deck. An unfamiliar face looked down at her and shook his head. Full, a simple motion said. London travel had its own language like no other. The little hesitation of two people when a seat becomes empty suddenly and both inclining with their hands and a slight bend of the head to give the seat up to the other. Insisting the other take, it up instead until one of two finally gives in and takes the seat. Or, the small fake glance a young person throws around when they notice an elderly is walking towards them. They don't want to give up the seat, but they also don't want the others to know that they don't want to give up the seat. Maeve settled to the bottom of the stairs and plugged in her earphones. It tuned out the organic sound of the bus rattling forward and her eyes fluttered closed. The hive of conversation around her dulled out and a yawn escaped her lips. This morning she was running late and hadn’t dared to spare some time to eat breakfast. On cue her stomach rumbled and was starting to add to her already irritable mood.
The voice overhead announced the next stop, Camden station, and with a relief she slowly excused herself amongst the bodies towards the doors. The bus approached the stop, halting behind another bus and opened its doors. Like a broken dam, a flood of people poured out and amongst them Maeve, jumped out of the bus. Welcoming the cool England breeze, she cast her gaze around for a store to buy some quick snack. Noticing a small off license at the corner of the station, she made quick haste and entered the shop. Her eyes scouted the shelves of food not satisfied with anything but nonetheless, grabbing the first sandwich she reached for. Falafel, she read on the label. Picking up a bottle of water, a chocolate bar and a bottle of green juice, she walked over to the counter to pay. The attendant greeted her with a quick hello and scanned her items with an irritation pace. Then, a group of teenagers burst in through the door, their boisterous laughter and banter attracting the the bored attention of the cashier. His gaze periodically glanced at the CCTV monitor in-between scanning her purchase.
"Oi! Did Jessica blow Dave after the party last night?" one boy bellowed, snickering with his tongue out and earning a glare from another. The group of boys spread out through the shop lazily browsing the shelves. Maeve noticed their uniform, dark navy with an unfamiliar emblem stitched on the breast pocket and concurred that they must be still in secondary school. One of the boys, with blond hair and short frame, walked behind Maeve and his bag slightly bumped against her arm. He mutters a hurried apology and Maeve gritted her teeth, trying to avoid putting her hands around the boy's throat. It would be a big inconvenience and she was already running slightly late to her class. With a strain on her lips, she smiled to the cashier and drew back her hand with her change in her palm. She tore open the sandwich and took a huge bite. Involuntarily her eyes rolled to the back of her head and she felt herself sigh with relief whilst heading towards the exit. She hadn't realised how hungry she was.
Maeve exited the shop out onto the street. It was crowded and jolting with life as she watched people in the early morning rush, scatter down the underground station. Leaning against a wall, she continued to devour her falafel sandwich, dry and lacking in flavour, whilst sipping her green juice in between bites. The first sip makes her gag, but she continues, suppressing the urge to throw up. To think some people, drink this voluntarily…, she thinks. The new exercise regimen and diet she was on required her to eat more balanced meals, begrudgingly giving up late night snacks and fast food which meant that on occasion, she had to drink the devil’s bile disguised as a green juice. The only salvation to her breakfast was the chocolate bar in her bag she indulged herself with. Quickly she gulped down the remainder of her meal and the juice as she made her way to the bin to discard of the now empty packaging. Wiping her mouth hazily on the sleeve of her jacket, she tugged her bag further up her shoulder and descended the stairs to catch her train.
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Maeve picked up the books she checked out earlier and stuffed them into her bag. The weight rested uncomfortably on her shoulder, but she grunted against the discomfort and pulled up her hair into a ponytail and pulled up the hood of her green linen jacket. Outside through the large windows, it reflected the dark skies and the faint light of the stars. It was late in the day and the usual herd of students have now shimmered down to only a few, who crammed their heads in an open book or glared at a computer screen. The day had been unusually exhausting. Although she was up to date with all her readings, assessments and deadlines, it was far too difficult to concentrate. Not one but twice, she interrupted an ongoing class by accidentally going to the wrong classroom. In addition, her mood had not improved at all and she found herself being short with people, not making any time for small talk and at least once that she noticed, altogether forget her good manners. The foul mood was slightly due to the phone in her pocket and it was oddly silent considering what today is. Maeve supposed maybe most forgot or didn't have the time, but she obsessively checked it for any kind of notification. Alas, none ever came. Then there was the ever-growing sensation that she was being watched. It made the hair on the nape of her neck stand up and she constantly looked behind her, almost waiting to find someone staring at her. Nevertheless, instead of going to her empty dorm room, she had decided to stay at the library longer than usual. Most nights she didn't bother going at all, instead finding cafes or her room a more encouraging environment to study. Although, when she did, it was only because the librarian was on duty and she enjoyed observing him from afar. Unfortunately, Maeve came to find out he was not on duty today. The guy looked to be around the same age as her. Although Maeve didn’t know his name, she noticed his brooding monolid brown eyes, tanned skin, high cheekbones with a sharp jaw.
"He's not here today," Lisa, another student librarian and a good friend of hers, voiced behind her. Maeve gave her a sheepish smile and shrugged her shoulders. Lisa was wearing white trainers, navy linen trousers and an oversized white shirt. Her blonde straight hair was in a low bun and the greens in her eyes look bright. Over time, Lisa showed she was kind and humorous, seeming to find a tiny piece of joy in even the darkest circumstance.
"Shame," Maeve tried to say with indifference. Lisa gave Maeve a playful push, placing her arms on her hips and tilting her head. They had met in an Ethics class last year. Whenever she was in the library and Lisa was on duty, they spent the time gossiping or debating the morality of right and wrong. The class was part of her Philosophy degree, but Lisa had been an unusual attendee, being a medical student herself. During their first study session, Maeve had asked her why she was taking a class on Ethics on top of her already heavy schedule, but Lisa had merely smiled and remained silent. Since then, Maeve didn't push, and the topic never had the chance to resurface.
"Switched his shift with me last minute," Lisa offered, leaning against the desk. "I found out his name is Wang Shu."
Maeve's head whipped up and a natural smile tugged at the edge of her lips. The blood slowly rushed to her cheeks and she absentmindedly brushed her neck. Lisa observed the rosy cheeks and the glint of surprise in Maeve’s eyes.
"Wang...Shu?" Maeve asked, her brows pulling together. "Chinese?"
"Yuh-huh. Surprisingly, a Literature student," Lisa announced pulling out her phone from her pocket. She taunted Maeve by shaking her phone. "Found his social media. Should we have a lookie?"
Maeve gasped and snatched Lisa's phone. The trip to the library wasn't a total waste after all. Scrolling through his account, Maeve observed countless pictures of Wang enjoying painting, cooking and cycling. Three things that Maeve could neither do nor liked. A few pictures had him receiving awards or giving talks at conferences. There were pictures of him with friends -some girls- on holiday, at parties or just having a simple meal. Maeve didn't know whether to feel relieved at the lack of a picture with a girlfriend or disheartened to realise she was no way in his league.
"You'd think he was a shy nerd just by observing him at work..." Lisa uttered but Maeve wasn't listening. Maeve grunted in dismay, handed Lisa her phone back and stuffed her hands in her pockets.
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"Gotta go, Lisa. See you around," Maeve muttered in a hurry and headed towards the exit.
“Happy Birthday!” Lisa shouted after her, chastising herself for being side tracked. The reason she had come over was to give her a gift. Over the months, she came to see that Maeve wasn’t materialistic and often when pushed, opted to accept books or sentimental tokens as gifts. Even when Lisa pushed to pay for her meal or coffee, she would only accept if she returned the sentiment as soon as possible. This was why instead of giving her something fancy, Lisa chose to gift Maeve a Chinese charm of love when she was scouting a farmer’s market last week. Watching Maeve’s body disappear around the corner, she shrugged and decided she’d give it to her tomorrow.
The black trainers Maeve wore today squeaked against the marble floor, earning glares from overstressed students and overworked librarians. Although she knew she wasn't ugly nor undesirable, she suddenly felt inadequate. Wang was not what she had observed him to be. Over the last couple of months, they exchanged pleasantries when the occasion called for it and when she was glancing at him over a book, he seemed quiet, introverted albeit very hard-working. Maeve had thought that they were similar which was part of the attraction. A handful of times she found him staring at her but when she would reciprocate his gaze with a smile, he would quickly divert his gaze. Maeve had no other option but to assume his attention was for something else in the first place. Plus, if the shirtless pictures were any indication, he was sporty and well-toned. Maeve briefly observed her body in the reflection of a window. Her long brown curly hair and full breasts avoided any gaze beneath the baggy green jacket she had opted to wear. When she turned slightly, the new jeans she had bought over the weekend curved around her wide hips and hugged her thighs, cupping her cheeks and shaping them. It was at the recommendation of a friend and she realised the jeans were perfect. Although she wasn’t displeased with her appearance, her last check-up encouraged her to go on a diet and become more active. The doctor confirmed she was 5'10 and based on that her weight was not too big an issue, the roll that formed over her stomach whenever she sat was enough of a push. Continuing along the corridor, she reached the large set of glass doors and pushed her way out of the library. However, she abruptly stopped when she saw who was waiting for her. Surprised, she observed the slight tapping of her friends heels on the marble floor, an irritable tap tap tap, and her slender arms crossed across her abdomen.
"We're late," Else enunciated with a growl. Maeve observed her friend. A white fur coat, no doubt real, covered her small frame and underneath a red, figure hugging dress. Maeve's brows knitted slightly, confused as to why Else looked like she was about to head to an event. Else stomped her feet with a mischievous grin and grabbed Maeve's wrist, pulling her with a force that betrayed her slim figure. They've known each other since they were in boarding school. It evades Maeve's memory as to when they started talking but she remembers with clarity that it was effortless and instantaneous. Of course, back then Maeve was far too shy and introverted. Else became her counterpart, filling in the missing parts with her charisma, wit and sensibility. Their meeting was by chance to Maeve but Else believed it was fate because together they looked odd as friends. However, Maeve had helped Else discipline herself by helping her with her studies, being her confidant and in return, Else carved Maeve into being more free-spirited, outspoken and strong willed. They had grown to not only be friends but sisters. Maeve was convinced she would not be where she is without her good friend Else.
"Else, I'm heading home for a quiet night in," Maeve declared, shaking Else's steel grip on her wrist. Else halted and turned to face Maeve head on. They were now almost out of the building and Maeve noticed there was barely anyone around. Else whipped her short but dark curly hair, bouncing against her shoulder, and Maeve saw the smoothness of her melanin skin peeking through the small amount of makeup Else had used. Huh. She doesn't usually wear makeup..., she thought. The black kajal eyeliner was a striking contrast against her brown orbs and the red lipstick a perfect match to the shade of her dress. Slightly leaning forward, Else cupped both of Maeve's hands in hers and gave them an encouraging tug.
"Happy Birthday!" Else whispered, with a blindingly brilliant smile. Taken aback, Maeve's eyes slightly grew in surprise and then she felt her lips split into a large grin. She thrust the bag off her shoulder and threw her arms over Else's shoulders, the fur tickling her face. They both squealed in delight and with childish giddiness, jumped.
"You remembered!" Maeve said breathlessly.
"Of course! How could I forget?" Else cheered and they looped their arm around each other’s. Maeve quickly picked up her bag, and looked at Else, expectedly. "I have a surprise for you, so we should hurry."
The tension she had been feeling all day evaporated and willingly she let herself be dragged along. It was chillier than earlier in the day, but the slight breeze was welcome against her heated cheeks. Else on the other hand, wanted to staple her mouth together to stop herself from bursting out the surprise. A quick glance at Maeve's elevated grin helped ease her agitation. It was worth a little pain if there was an even greater bliss waiting in the end. Their friendship was strong, for they both had endured great pains and enjoyed moments of happiness together. It was hard to pinpoint what made them such great friends, considering even as adults, they were far too different. Else chose to study Environmental Law whilst Else naturally navigated to Philosophy. Most of the student body in their year knew Else and Maeve was popular amongst the academics. But Else was convinced Maeve was destined to always be with her. Sure, they had fallen out more than she could count on her fingers and toes combined, but somehow, they always gravitated back to each other. Now looking at her, Maeve was the most beautiful when she was smiling and even with the plain clothes, Else was glad Maeve's beauty even outshined her own. It was effortless and without exaggeration, of which Else joked about on many occasions. When they were younger, Else was jealous of the ease at which Maeve steered in life. Whilst she acquired the attention of others quickly, it was short. On the other hand, Maeve slowly garnered interest but cemented a stronger impression on everyone. In the way Maeve always had done, she would usually dismiss it as blasphemy and blush like a child caught stealing a cookie red handed. Else could only be saddened by her friend’s fragile self-esteem and lack of ego. Concentrating on the task at hand, they hurried to the car parked at the end of the street and seated inside. The car was still warm. Putting on her seatbelt, Maeve slightly twisted her body towards Else on the driver's seat and crossed her arms.
"Could you at least tell me where we're going?" Maeve asked. "I'm really underdressed."
"To a restaurant for a wonderful meal and copious amounts of alcohol," Else teased, revealing nothing. She reversed out of the parking spot and efficiently piloted towards the main street, and then towards the venue. "Besides, you wouldn't even wear it if I offered you anything fancier than jeans and a hoodie."
"Is... that all?" Maeve quizzed, unable to keep the disappointment out of her voice. Else glanced at her passenger with a chuckle and reassured her with a gentle smack on the knee.
"It would defeat the purpose of a surprise if I actually disclose what it is," Else chastised, diverting her attention to the traffic. Maeve nodded absentmindedly and when she attempted to ask another question, Else pointedly looked at her.
"I saw Lisa," Maeve singed. Else's head impulsively twisted in anticipation but then she forced herself to stare at the lights. The car stopped at a traffic light by Tottenham Court Road station.
"How...was she?" Else asked trying to keep her voice level.
"What was it you always said about her?" Maeve quizzed, placing a finger on her chin and tapping. Then widening her eyes, she exclaimed, "Oh, yes! The second Mona Lisa."
"That was before," Else replied, her voice already lost its confidence. Else first met Lisa when she came to pick up Maeve from the library one night. It was very late, raining and instead of travelling all the way home, Maeve decided to stay over at Else's apartment. It was far more enticing than taking a train, then bus and walking home.
Their first meeting was one-sided. Lisa at the time had a guy she was seeing on and off, nothing serious but more than enough to keep Else quiet about her feelings. So, Else befriended her. At first, her intentions were to just be close to Lisa and get to know her. Then, it grew even more serious. A simple crush transformed into love. How could it not? They spent a lot of time together, talked every day and found each other drawn to the other. Maeve's input had been minimal, only watching them interact from afar and hearing snippets of their undefined relationship. She wasn't sure what exactly transpired between them nor what catharsis they went through, but one day they became a secret couple. It was both of their first serious relationship although, Maeve guessed it was far more difficult on Lisa. It had been a very long time ago when Else came out as gay, but Lisa still hadn't chosen to disclose it with the world. For what it was worth, they were fantastic together and Maeve found herself jealous. Then, abruptly after 6 months of dating, Lisa decided to break off the relationship 3 weeks ago.
"I know she misse-," Maeve offered, but was cut off when the car swerved suddenly. Else gripped the steering wheel harder, her knuckles turning white and her breathing shallow. It was still too hard to hear her name or be reminded of what they had. They spent the rest of the ride in an uncomfortable silence, Maeve watching the world fly by her window and Else convincing herself that love was everywhere, she just had to find it again.
"We're here," Else replied, breaking the pregnant pause after a while. Slowing down the car and then parking at a free space, Else switched off the engine. She turned to Maeve and took a hold of her hand. There was a seriousness in her eyes and drawing a slow breath, Else raised her brown eyes to hold Maeve's hazel ones. "A little advice. Try not to hide too much. You just might miss something very important."
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