The more Jonen thought about the delicate blush on Mira’s freckled cheeks, the more his face burned in embarrassment. He shook his head to clear the image from his mind.
“Goddess,” He shook his head as more elicit thoughts ran through it, “I’m pent up from my dreams.”
A pink half-elf entered the kitchen, “Who are we talking about?”
“Healer Irae!” Jonen exclaimed, “It’s complicated.”
He quickly made himself busy with anything he could find to distract from the deep blush on his face.
“Oh, please,” Irae rolled her eyes, “You can just call me Irae. Do you want to talk about whatever is complicated?”
“Well, actually,” He exhaled, “There’s something else I’d like to ask you.”
“Yeah?” She turned to stir a pot over a low fire, “Ask away.”
“I’ve been the only half-elf I’ve seen in Zrud for nearly three years,” He tapped his ears then pointed to her, “How do you deal with, well…”
“High Priestess Nara and Sunodagh are extremely strict over slurs,” She cleared her throat, “It’s one of the reasons I joined this temple. I’m only forty. I’ve got a long life left, I think. Those two do not let anyone treat us different. I mean, a half-elf performing ceremonies with a High Priestess? Who would have thought?”
Irae pulled one of the flowers from her hair and stared at it for a moment.
“We don’t see many half-elves around here, though,” Irae sniffed the pot before adding the flower, “My mom was an orc with an elven lover. She didn’t know much about what I would face. I’m sure your parents didn’t either. It’s hard being between races.”
“I noticed you call Sunodagh your uncle.”
“Yep. He was my mom’s cousin,” She grinned, “Might be why he’s a bit protective of me.”
Jonen laughed, “Well, my mom’s straight from northern Vanora. She took a liking to my dad while traveling and bonded with him. I visited his family often before he passed. My grandmother on either side would say my ears weren’t right.”
Irae erupted into laughter and pinched her ears, “Why are they so pointy?”
“What do you mean? Look at how flat they are!” Jonen joined in on the joke.
Both laughed at the odd joke. They were accustomed to the scrutiny from either sides of their heritage. Elves could reproduce with any race, but half-elves were considered lesser than true elves or the other half.
“At least you’ve got it a bit easier than orc or dwarves halves,” Irae shrugged and rubbed at her small lower tusk, “Most of us try to find our way to a temple that will treat us right. Or a small village that needs our talents.”
“Yeah,” He sighed.
“Now, what’s really bothering you?” She walked over and poked a finger into the bread dough, “You’re worried about Mira? She’s doing much better now. I knew a few days of actual rest would do her good.”
Jonen knew she tried to approach the subject he clearly struggled with. He appreciated her kindness, but uneasy talking about it.
“She’s a tough cookie,” Irae winked, “Odd one, that girl.”
“Everyone says that,” He shook his head, “I’ve only heard others whisper about her while I’ve been here. I don’t understand it.”
“She unflinchingly watches people. I mean, you saw what happened the other night,” She shrugged and pulled her caramel hair behind her, “Most of the priestesses feel like mice trying to hide from a cat. I think I’m one of the few that spent enough time with her to know better.”
“You’ve spent time with her?” Jonen raised an eyebrow.
“Well, as healer and patient,” She waved the question away, “She’s always volunteered to help. But, Mira wouldn’t let any of us touch her for a long time. Not until I forced her to sit one night and let me check her.”
“What happened?” Jonen sat on a stool in the kitchen.
Irae pulled two cups down from a cabinet and set them on the table in front of them, “You might need a drink for this. I usually do.”
“A drinking healer?” Jonen chuckled, “Haven’t heard of that before.”
“Everyone’s got their poison,” She grinned, “Healers are just better at hiding it.”
She grabbed a jar from a case and opened it. She poured a gracious amount of the mystery liquid and handed the cup to him. Jonen took a curious niffed and realized it was a scented mead.
“I made it myself to sell tomorrow,” She beamed, “I got the idea last year from a fruit beer a merchant brought. You’ll have to help me decide if it’s a quality product. We’ll head outside, though. No drinking in the temple.”
Irae moved a few jars into a bag and led him outside. The exit from the kitchen led directly to the garden. The two sat together on a raised flower bed outside of the small enclosure the healing class took place in. The scattering people outside took their time getting ready for the festival. They clanked their glasses together before Irae took a deep breath.
“So, Mira,” Irae took a large gulp, “High Priestess told us only a little about her, back when she first showed up. The girl’s clothes were drenched in just… grossness. That’s the only word I can use to describe it. I just gave her new clothes instead of trying to wash them.”
“Was that normal?”
“There are some stray children that come in from time to time for hot food and a bath,” She shrugged, “Mira was different. She hadn’t bathed in Goddess knows how long. She looked terribly malnourished, injured, and just barely alive. I didn’t think she would make it to the infirmary.”
The fragrant drink wasn’t what he would normally order, but it was pleasant on the tongue.
“What happened?” Jonen took a sip of the mead.
Irae took several large gulps and shuddered before continuing, “Nara swept her into the bathing chambers after exclaiming her name. She called me to look for injuries because Mira refused to speak. She was so small then. It was horrific. Grotesque, even. I don’t know how much skin you’ve seen, but the scars on her arms are light compared to what I’ve seen elsewhere.”
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Jonen remembered the deep scars across her from the infirmary.
“It was hard to tell what injuries were old or new. A lot of handshape burns,” She pointed to his arm, “Only a handful were hers.”
He looked to the spot on his arm and nodded, “I’ve seen she uses that often.”
The pink half-elf took a large swig to finish her glass. She took another moment to fill it up with the remainder of the first jar she opened. Jonen took another drink and waited for her to continue.
“Mira wouldn’t let me touch her. She nearly didn’t let Nara do it, either. Her eyes were so… hollow,” Irae sighed, “She was a shell, for lack of better words. A good little soldier that followed orders directly given to her. When she didn’t speak or listen, I commanded her to do things. She followed exactly what I said –she still does at times. Nara had to convince her that her food wasn’t poisoned by eating off the same plate as her. Our High Priestess is a patient woman.”
She swirled the mead around in her cup before taking another drink. Jonen gulped more down and imagined how hard that must have been for them.
“She just kept asking one question,” Irae sighed, “She stayed with us a week before she disappeared during the night.”
“What question?”
“Should I feel this way?” The healer gripped her cup tighter and scoffed, “What way, child? Abandoned? Unloved? Afraid? What could she have possibly meant? She popped in a few times without a word and only spoke to Nara, no matter how much we tried to reach out. She always disappeared as suddenly as she appeared. The next time I saw her up close, she had brought in Tella and Pallik.”
Jonen drank the rest of his cup and refilled it with the next jar Irae opened, “Yeah?”
“She showed up in worse shape than before,” Irae stared at the floor and shivered at the memory, “I have seen many injuries. I have healed countless wounds. I hadn’t seen anything like that before or since, thank the Goddess.”
“How bad was it?” He quirked an eyebrow.
“Worse than what you saw. She barely had any skin left on her arms and shoulders from running in a raging sandstorm with those two,” She shook her head and took another drink, “Pallik had some damage on his back, but Mira blocked most of the weather from him. Little Tella was wrapped up in her cloak and protected against Mira’s chest. The poor girl could barely hold her arms up when she got here.”
The healer sighed and rubbed a hand against her face. Jonen patted her back and was unsure of what else he could do.
“There aren’t many things that give me nightmares as a healer, but that nearly broke me. It didn’t even stop her.”
Jonen patted the woman’s back without a word. He didn’t know what to say.
“Mira wouldn’t let me do anything to help her until the kids were safe. She wouldn’t even let us find her clothes. She didn’t leave their side until one of them woke up. When I asked to at least clean the open wound on her… she just looked at me and placed a burning hand on it. She didn’t react,” Irae looked into the mead in her glass, “I tried to explain how bad that was for her. She said I needed to pay attention to them.”
“I’ve seen her do that firsthand,” Jonen whistled, “It’s jarring, isn’t it? How did she ever let you heal her?”
“Only when Tella woke up and was so scared of us that she cried, Mira volunteered to be healed,” Irae shook her head, “Just so Tella wouldn’t be scared. The girl was put back to sleep for most of it. She left when Pallik could walk again.
Then, Irae started laughing and clanked her glass against his. Jonen didn’t quite understand but took another drink with her. His face felt warm and fuzzy from the alcohol.
“Goddess! When you got here, she wouldn’t leave your side until Gimma came in with a group of healers. We only learned this morning she had an arrow wound that needed healing at the time. She wanted me to show Tella how to properly close it, but forgot it,” Irae shook her head, “Trying to heal her is almost fun. I don’t know if her master even lets her seek help, so I tell her he wouldn’t like it if she was injured. After a few visits, Mira asked how to perform certain spells or procedures to replicate them. You’ve seen how either of those work out.”
“Yeah, I’m going to have a pretty nasty scar,” Jonen grinned and rubbed the back of his head, “She saved my life, though.”
“She’s a tough woman,” Irae placed her hand on his shoulder, “I’ve met many tough women, but only one like her.”
He nodded and looked up at the full moon, “Are you part of the plan to free her?”
“Yes,” She hiccupped, “I’ve been working on a sleeping potion to knock her out. So far, nothing I’ve made works.”
“How do you know?” He looked to her with a puzzled face.
“Well, I slip it into her drink. Most of the times, she doesn’t even seem slightly bothered by it. The one time she yawned, she congratulated me on my hard work,” She laughed, “I haven’t figured her out yet. I don’t think anyone has.”
Irae finished her second cup of mead and clamped her hand against his shoulder with enough force that Jonen winced.
“She doesn’t trust many. Don’t… don’t do anything to ruin this place for her,” She shook her head, “She’s come a long way and trusts us. We don’t want her to shut down again.”
“I wouldn’t dare,” He finished off his second cup of mead, “I feel conflicted about our… situation as well.”
“Is it because of your race?” Irae tweaked an eyebrow, “Is that why you wanted to talk to me about it?”
“No,” He sighed and ran his fingers through his golden waves, “I was engaged before, bonded even. It’s been a long time I’ve… felt this way about someone.”
“Oh,” Irae chuckled, “We just thought you fancied her. You think there’s more than that?”
“I don’t know. Before I woke up to Mira taking care of me, I had a realistic dream with my late love,” He ran his hands down his face, “Now, I’m dreaming of Mira like I did her. It’s stirred up a lot of feelings.”
“Well,” Irae shrugged, “Life is short for humans. If you want to stop finding companionship at –what, twenty-five? –then by all means. That just sounds like a lonely life to me.”
The two laid in the plush green of the flower bed and looked into the sky. Irae twirled flowers around her fingers and yawned.
“It isn’t just that,” Jonen sighed, “I… I’m the reason she’s dead. I killed her.”
“Oh,” Irae paused, “Was it on purpose? I’m not the person to confess to around here.”
“No,” His jaw clenched at the memory, “I had only recently discovered my magical talent when it happened.”
“What happened?” She propped herself up to look at him, “If you don’t mind telling me.”
“We were sparring,” Jonen covered his eyes with his hand, “I felt and powerful urge and grabbed onto it. When I hit her shield… she blasted away from me. She slid along the ice and off the cliff we practiced by.”
“Jonen,” She gasped and gripped his arm tightly, “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”
“I thought we were far enough away,” He shook his head, “She died before I could reach her. I joined the Travel Knights a few months later when a recruiter came through the village. I stayed for the funeral and left the next day. It’s been almost eight years now.”
“Elven betrothals are taken seriously,” She laid back down, “Did her father call for your head?”
“No. That may have eased my heart,” Jonen closed his eyes, “We were born only a few months apart. I grew up with her. She was my everything, Irae. Her dad knew I loved her as much as he did. He still sends me letters on her birthday. I haven’t seen him since the funeral –and yet he still calls me son.”
“It’s been eight years?” Irae whistled, “No wonder it’s hard on you. I’m guessing you joined the knights to control your powers. How’s that going?”
“Not well, if I’m being honest,” He chuckled, “I know not to grab onto that feeling unless I plan to kill someone. Besides that, I’m just told to move my mana around to see what it does. I’ve taken countless aptitude tests and none of them tell me anything. I don’t think I have enough to actually do anything worthwhile.”
“Well, if you want lessons from an expert,” She winked and elbowed him in the side, “Ask your new girlfriend.”
He cursed at how fast he blushed. The mead didn’t feel like it would hit him this hard. He and Irae laughed at his response.
“I don’t know if she’d like that,” He shook his head.
“Oh, she loves fighting,” Irae grinned, “Poor Sunodagh usually doesn’t get a break when she’s here. I bet she’s been watching you the last few days and itching to join in.”
“Thanks for talking with me, Irae,” He yawned, “It’s nice to sit down and talk with someone.”
“You’re welcome, Jonen,” She echoed his yawn, “I’ve got a little brother your age. He’s got girl problems too.”
He sat up and placed his empty cup on the flower bed’s edge, “So, Alavala tomorrow, are you dancing to it?”
“Goddess no,” She laughed, “I’m dancing to the human song. Nara likes to ask all the elves to dance it, but I don’t think she remembers when most elves learn it.”
“Good. It wasn’t just me then… Mira offered to be my partner. I don’t know if she knows the dance and I don’t think I could teach her.”
“Mira knows a lot about so many things,” Irae grabbed his cup and walked towards the kitchen entrance, “I’m sure she already knows if Nara asked her.”
“Well, what do you think?”
“She likes dancing, if that helps with your decision,” Irae chuckled, “Though, I think she’s more partial to the orc song.”
He took the advice and nodded.
“Goodnight, Irae,” Jonen smiled, “Thank you. I think I know what I’ll do tomorrow.”