Reincarnation was something I never really believed in, if I do say so myself.
I wasn't a hardcore Catholic. Yes, I was baptised when I was a baby but that didn't mean I was going to be God's most loyal servant when I grew up, did it? I don't really know why, but religion was never something that crossed my mind frequently. It just... wasn't my thing, you know?
The same went with love, school, friends, family, and everything else. Even as a child I would walk to school not opening my mouth even once, and it stays that way for most of the day. I'd speak when I was talked to, but only for a bit. As a result, the other kids thought I was hard to approach and most likely boring as well so they stopped trying to talk to me.
Years passed, and I went from being that quiet kid beside the the window to that. Just that. A thing.
It's as if I existed, but wasn't an important piece in the board. I was no king nor was I a queen. I was not an officer nor even a pawn.
I was simply there. An undeniably real, yet incomprehensible piece that served no real purpose.
High school felt like a breeze. Fleeting. Not even leaving a memory I would have liked to remember when I grew older and had to reminisce.
Well, not that I even had a chance to grow older.
-
It was May 14, 2018 when it happened. The memory's still fresh in my mind even though I couldn't tell exactly how much time had passed since then.
I was thinking about a lot of things that day, as per usual, but the thought that victoriously stood at the top was:
Man, it's hot.
Indeed, it was. The sweltering heat made my body sweaty, and despite just coming out of the shower around fifteen minutes before, I had a sudden urge to jump back in and hang out in the tub for hours on end.
Still, I walked. I had somewhere to get to, and while summer sucked more than I would like to admit, it was a fact that it was going to be almost unbearably hot today. Duh, it's summer. So I didn't really complain.
...Much.
The streets that were normally bustling with activity were... well, still rowdy, but not as much as I'd expected. I didn't know if it was because the heat was too much to handle, or because it was Sunday and everyone had something to do. Usually, they had household chores. Or babysitting chores. I wouldn't know.
I knew I had to do something, though. It wasn't important, but I thought it was interesting, so I made an effort to walk underneath the harsh glare of the sun although I've never gone out like this before.
Yeah, I was alone. That part was unusual. Usually, my family would send a group of men that would tail me wherever I went, but since I had sneaked out of the main compound, I wouldn't have to see their shady faces again. Honestly speaking, they unnerved me.
And so I walked alone, no men in suits, no weird dress, just me, my shirt, shorts, cap, and wallet.
My wallet contained around twenty-thousand yen. I had to take a big chunk of my money out of it because I saw in the internet that the city had many bad guys who might take it from me. Now I'm left with only a fraction of my monthly allowance. It made me feel a little naked. It's weird.
Remembering what I read in the site, I pulled on my cap and instinctively inched closer to the buildings.
Bam.
An unknown projectile crash into the my right leg, making me lose my balance. I stumbled for a second before regaining complete control over my weight and turning to the--
"Oh, sorry!"
--little girl.
I stared blankly at the blonde girl with shimmering blue eyes that only sparkled more beneath the sun. Despite wearing clothes akin to rags, she still stood out, and in a good way.
... Adorable.
She rubbed her nose and looked up at me with droopy eyes that looked slightly teary. "Miss, I'm really--"
She suddenly paused mid-sentence and gaped at me. I blinked. She continued to stare at my face like she'd just seen something shocking enough to traumatize a little girl with blonde hair and sparkly blue eyes.
Oh, wait. Huh? I feel like I just thought of something humorous but kind of dead, if you catch my drift. Well, never mind.
She was still staring. Was it creepy? Should I consider it creepy? I didn't really know. And I didn't care enough to know.
I blinked one last time at the little girl. I leaned down just enough for our faces to be on equal height, then patted her hair, mumbling, "It's okay." The little girl looked even more surprised at the action, but she didn't say anything. I immediately stood up and walked past her.
That was kind of embarrassing.
But oh, well.
Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on the original website.
I didn't even know the kid. Everyone thought I was weird anyway so this encounter didn't really mean much to me.
After walking for a while, I finally found my destination.
A video game store.
Wordlessly, I reached out to push the doors open when I saw my clenched fists.
Clenched... fists...?
I loosened my grip, then placed my palm flat onto the glass door, before pushing.
Why was I angry?
I didn't really know. And I didn't need to know, so I didn't try to know. Instead of dwelling on the past (0.00000001 second ago is considered something in the past), I stepped inside the store.
Looking around, I felt slightly taken aback. There were tons of games displayed on the wall, merchandise of both anime and games that I have watched and played more times than I could count, and of course, manga.
I could almost feel my eyes shining at the wide assortment of entertainment as I walked. I didn't let it bother me too long, though. I had something to do.
I walked a bit before ending up in the games section. If my eyes could shine brighter than they were right now, I was positive I could be a human source of light. A star? Not quite what I was hinting at, but better, so I'll accept it.
Then, I found it.
The limited edition for the game I've wanted ever since it came out. The second installment of the game I loved the most.
Complete with 3 hidden routes and the already amazing plot made better.
The cashier guy let out a gasp when I practically teleported in front of him, but I paid him no heed. I simply slid the game closer to him and muttered. "Just this, yeah. Thank you."
The guy stares at my face for a bit longer but gets to work anyway. After giving him the money and ignoring the receipt he gave me, I walked out of the store.
I continued walking with my gaze plastered onto the cover of the video game I just bought.
Springtime Serenity. An otome game created by a video game publishing company that was slowly but surely making its way to the top. The thing is, the aforementioned company wasn't rising because of this game. In fact, SS was the reason why they're still not at the top despite the amount of four and five - star reviews from gamers all over the world.
Springtime Serenity was a complete and utter failure.
It was the first game Eyeline, the company that gave birth to SS, had ever published. And it didn't, to say the least, gather a lot of positive reviews.
"this shit sucks."
"so many bugs wtf why is this still being sold"
"crappy character development"
"holy shit nothing in this game even makes sense"
These are only a few of the harsh comments SS got since its release, and some of the milder ones, too. The others could almost be considered harassment, but of course, no one in the company spoke against them.
As for me, I loved SS because I saw art within it and just completely fell in love with it.
Too cheesy? Well, honestly... That's just what I felt when I tried playing it.
First thought... There were so many glitches. Clicking one choice only for the game to process the other, thus giving you the exact opposite of the ending you wanted. It was annoying. The art was good, yes, but a lot of video games have great art these days. It wasn't anything special.
What I completely fell in love with was the storyline.
It was deep, meaningful, and absolutely mesmerizing. Other people said it didn't make sense, and that it had crappy character development, but that's because they never saw what the game was trying to show them.
It was never about love, no. It wasn't about the nobles, crown princes, or the heroine acting like the typical doe-eyed clueless cinnamon roll you see in every game.
It was about reality. A metaphor, filled with millions of possible interpretations. A world with endless possibilities.
It showed the darker side of humanity with words that people found hard to understand.
The truth behind the world. The reality that others were too blind to see.
That's what the game represented for me.
But few can appreciate art hidden in the shadows. So while everyone else continued to spit and step on the name of SS, I continued to play the game repeatedly, at least 8 hours a day, clearing every route, even the hidden routes, and achieving both the bad and good endings.
Then, I noticed something.
In the game, there was something really weird going on, and whatever it was, I didn't know, but I had some theories.
But up till now, I haven't had the chance to test it out.
Not until they announced the release of the second installment that is.
I couldn't help smiling as I walked, probably attracting weird stares despite my attempt to hide my face from public view. I think I was still doing a good job hiding it, though. After all, some of my classmates passed by but they didn't give me the look that they always directed towards me at school.
They thought I was weird.
But that's okay.
I had another world with me anyway. A sanctuary.
My refuge from everything else.
I hugged the game case close to my chest.
Then I heard a voice.
A familiar one.
My grip on what I was holding loosened a little, and I looked up, only to see that face again for the second time today.
"Lady, I'm so sorry!" There she was. That girl who bumped into me around half an hour ago.
She was standing near beside the road, with just a step between her and the pedestrian crossing. There was a lady in front of her, I noticed, and they were surrounded by a small crowd that was steadily growing as the seconds passed by. I paid no mind to the others and stared at her instead. Her head was lowered, her cheeks red, and her eyes tightly shut, as if she was scared of something. "I'm really sorry!"
Not knowing why, my heart clenched. And despite the emptiness in my mind, I found myself walking closer and closer to the two people that were causing a commotion.
Then the woman spoke. Her voice was cold, ruthless, and demeaning.
"You little bitch!" The lady shrieked. "You did it, didn't you? Give me back my wallet!"
I felt my grip on the game case tighten once more.
I saw the girl look up at the lady with the same glassy look in her eyes that I'd gotten a glimpse of before.
"N-No, lady, I-I didn't," she stuttered out, looking up at the lady with teary eyes hoping for even just a trickle of faith. "Please believe me... Ana wouldn't do something like that..."
But, of course, would reality be so kind as to grant a bit of leniency to a child?
Yeah.
No.
"You even have the decency to ask me something like that!" The lady fumed, and even though she was facing the opposite direction, I knew this wasn't going to end well for the kid.
"But lady--"
Stop.
"Children like you should just rot away in some ditch like the maggots you are!"
Stop.
This time, the tears that the girl was trying to keep at bay broke free. Her hands formed into fists. Fists clenched so tightly you could see the veins beneath her pale skin.
Stop.
"B-But that's..."
I stared at the truck that was coming nearer and nearer. Unstable direction. A panicked driver.
Stop.
"I'm sorry, lady," the girl said in a weak voice. "I-I... Ana only wanted to help... I didn't know... Didn't know he'd take it..." She sniffled.
Looking at some of the coins on the ground, I think I got the gist.
Lady drops wallet and spills its contents on the floor with no one voluntarily helping her aside from one street kid dressed in clothes that could barely be called such.
Probably something like that.
The lady acted like she never heard the child speak. "You bitch, stop talking and give it back to me!"
My eyes widened slightly when she backhanded the little girl. The little girl stumbled backwards, holding her cheek and looking up at the woman with fearful eyes. The crowd did nothing but stare and whisper among themselves.
I looked up again.
The truck was close.
Too close.
Then I looked back at the girl, and met her gaze. Her ocean blue eyes radiated a strange mix of fear, hope, and helplessness.
She'd seen the world, but she wasn't giving up.
It was that moment when something just kind of clicked.
I didn't know exactly how many seconds it took, how the people stared, or how my cap got knocked over the wind, but I felt my legs move.
It was so fast.
Everything felt like a blur.
I was moving, and then I wasn't.
That was all there was to it.
But I felt the warmth pooling around my body and the rough texture of cement. The smell of smoke filled my lungs, and I could feel the initial numbness slithering away, only to be replaced by a maddening dose of pain that paralyzed my already still body all over.
I heard the screams. I saw the people staring at me in disbelief. I couldn't see them properly anymore though. Everything looked like blots of colors now.
I could feel myself gasping for air. My sides hurt, and despite wanting to touch them, I remained motionless. I wanted to do something that could maybe ease the pain a little, but I couldn't move.
"Call an ambulance! Hurry!" I heard someone yell. My eyes flashed in their direction, but instead I found myself staring at the little girl.
Her eyes were glued on me, and I could almost see the fear in them. Again, I felt something inside me.
That something just made me want to protect her, whatever it was.
For some reason, even though my quivering lips made it hard to do so, I mouthed something that made tears flow down the side of her face once more.
My breaths were starting to become scarce. Each one made it feel like someone was scraping my lungs with pieces of broken glass. I knew, in a few moments, that it was all going to end.
The last thing I saw was the little girl running towards me.
And so I whispered the words I mouthed, wishing that she'd be able to hear it somehow.
"...It's... okay..."
And then that ceased to exist.
Or so I thought.