Chapter 10: The Treant

And of course, I still had this hope that the first magus I had ever met would cast some magical miracle. But he dashed those hopes in a matter of five seconds. I gave up after I watched him running away like the loonie that he was. Only to get whipped and eaten like he was sushi. His future was as deep as that tree's organic, small and large intestines. His destiny was to be reborn as a future fertilizer.

Though the hazy fog had receded its claws, I felt it was more apt for the haze to come back again and gobble me whole. I almost broke my neck as I glared up at the towering tree. Anyway, I'd appreciate the fog's embrace right now. I wanted to hide somewhere, but I just didn't know where.

The intertwining trees akin to a maze had instantly killed my desire to escape. The soft muddy soil tempered with poop from some unknown creatures made me shiver too. There were four of us when we entered this eerie dark forest. But now, only one remained. One pretty, but also a useless lady.

Rooted on the spot with my mouth hanging wide, I felt a little betrayed.

What kind of shitty day is this? What's the use of my cheat? Oh, I still have one new skill, right?

[Spirit eyes].

"…"

"Woah holy! What the hell is this?! Great, great. Hahaha!"

Though the truth is… I saw nothing worth mentioning at all. I glimpsed a shadowy ball, but after I rubbed my eyes. There's nothing. Hallucinations? Hah! I'm going crazy here. Damn nothing! Hey, the deity or game master who sent me here, you hearin' me? How about giving me some delicate skills for a change?

Ding.

[Gaia has heard your prayer. She wishes to thank you for converting the toughest nihilistic nutcase in the history of Endramion. Your onetime-use plea has been granted. Rejoice!]

"Oh?" I lolled my head in anticipation. So I still had that kind of card. I won't lie. Its one-time use description somehow digs badly on my nerves. A kind of protection? I raised a gaze towards the towering organic beast before me. "Against that?"

Ding.

[You have learned (Appraise Lvl. 1)]

"…"

"Fasdafwdcsadqwdadaarggghhhhs…"

What's the use of this?! I felt my flesh shaking. Anyway, let's use it.

"[Appraise]!"

Name: Treant of the Dead

Level: 100

Skills:???

Titles:???

[Summ… cre…???]

"…"

I guffawed until my throat turned parched and my stomach had crumps. Hey, you know? I don't care about these not-so-useful skills anymore. Actually… Hell! I don't even care if the gigantic oregano in front of me is a Lvl. 100 freak. I don't even care if I'm level one! No need to throw it to my face. Nor do I care if this freakin' thyme or parsley was a summoned Dicky or Harry!

Hah, can you please return me to Antarctica? I'm gettin' so damn tired. This aunty wants some rest. I don't want to be here anymore. Everything is so tiring. Please send me back, I just want to die there again.

"Fffeeettccchhhh?"

I flashed an incredibly professional smile. The one who sends all the people below me in my old company scrambling away. I lifted my head into the dark, cloud-covered skies before turning to the massive cauliflower. Aka doggo tree. Yeah, it was my best smile, which I often used against my farty old boss. One of the rare skills that could put that old nemesis of mine perfectly in his place. I call this the buddha state plus the buddha fingers. A human immortal who reached the pinnacle of enlightenment. Oh, I also used it against my ladylike ex-boyfriend.

All peace, no expression. And like some holy gangster in the neighborhood, I kicked the vines below my feet.

"Feetttcchhhh!?"

I released a mad cackle as I stared at the giant parsley. “Fetch my ass!”

From now on, I'll love veggies and greens. I'll never eat meat. And I'll go vegan and eat them all up. No greens will survive my wrath. I'll turn these creatures into papers, shucking all of their skins. I, Victoria, will never-ever water any garden plants again! Let me live this dream. Yes, I want my revenge!

With the ultimate finger salute raised high up to the monster tree, I uttered chest up, "Hey, ya' trollin' me?"

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Chomp. Gulp.

***

I don't know how long I was asleep. But who cares!?

I caught a sweet scent of food drifting into my nose. Tears dripped, falling onto my dry lips. Salty yet sweet. I don't want to open my eyes. If this is a dream, let me dream. Don't let me wake up lest I see myself drowning deep into the pits of the cauliflower’s nature-friendly stomach. I don't want to end up pickling in nature-friendly acids. Damn, I've never hated nature-friendly products so much until now.

Ever since I arrived in this world - chained, gagged, and blindfolded. This was the first time my stomach grabbed my thoughts. I'm hungry. My nose was being led by an irresistible hook. I felt like a stupid fish falling prey to a burgeoning fisherman's food net. A deer falling prey into the hunter's snare. A lying supposed-to-be vegetarian monk who smelled meat after long abstinence.

Hah. I made my decision. It's either I get digested and die hungry. Or I eat now, then die filled. Not so difficult if you ask me. Of course, I pick the 'eat now' choice. A no-brainer.

Time to open my beautiful eyes.

"..."

I knew it. It was all black again. When will I get out of this blind but not truly blind lady cliche? A sigh flowed out of my lips. If my life is a tale, whoever the author of my story sucks! I-I want to screw him!

Wait? Is this fog? I turned my head around and discovered that I'm not inside the doggo tree's stomach. It took some time, but my eyes soon adjusted to the dark. All hail that I'm not bathing in some organic plant-based acids. I reached out my hand, getting a feel of where I stood. Yey, it was earth, dirt, and poop. "Did that friggin' cauliflower poop me out?"

I shifted my gaze back to the skies again. It was all darkness. No stars, nor constellations; no moons, clouds, nor the sun. It was void. The view of emptiness. Is this the primordial matter that my crazy scientist friend on Earth always loved to talk about during the company meetings?

If so, I find nothing exemplary in what I see here. His flying and passionate spit-works were worthless to me, anyway. Spending five hours listening to him brought me and my old company no money, not even an idea worth investing in. He did amuse my gullible boss, though.

From then on, I knew I made the right decision when I handed in that resignation letter. Even so, I wanted to at least thank him for indirectly helping me to discover the passion of my life.

My head slumped to the side. Time to set my priorities straight. Sniffing like a hungry ghost, I stood up, limbs wobbling. I must find the source of that saliva-inducing fragrance. The scent roamed and pinched the tip of my nose. It was a heavenly stew perfected with pepper, carrots, potatoes, and cheese.

I crawled around, hoping to discover what this place was. I'm still in the middle of entangling branches, darkness filling my sight. The chilling caress of the wind and the whispering, rustling leaves stuck to my nerves. Thank goodness, the wafting aroma was marvelous, offering me warmth amid the unknown sticky situation. The drifting scent was so inviting that I wanted to ignore everything. When auntie’s hungry, she doesn't give a shit about just… anything at all!

My hungry lips arched upward into a quarter moon?. My inner glutton steered the oars of my brain and gave me the courage I needed. "Follow the goodies! No darkness can sto-."

Thud.

"Ouch. Damn it, so slippery." Hoisting my entire body like a turtle, I tried to stand up once again, balancing. "Careful, careful. Perfect!"

I lifted my chin in pride as I stood back from my toes. Though I felt like a kid, it didn't matter anymore. I'm in another world. Crazy things happen in a crazy world. The best thing was I'm in someone else's body. Wait? Is that even a thing to boast about?

Deep inside, I already accepted everything. Leonora who loved to travel was no more. Whether I like it or not. Whether the original Victoria liked it or not. I'm now Victoria. I was a mixed bag of pragmatism and optimism, allowing me to adapt to circumstances with ease. The way I wired my brain helped me in a lot of stressful circumstances. Like in situations such as this.

Ruffling through the dried leaves and dirt mixed with random forest poop felt new. Not even in my old travels did I ever experience such novelty. I tried to sniff out the direction of the food, ignoring the other glaring scent mixed within the air.

Looking left and right, my two bright eyes could now see a little through the perpetual darkness. I saw giant roots poking their ugly heads up from the earth, blocking me from reaching the location of the great aroma. Even so, it won't stop my charge.

I had a lot of experience from my travels in the tropical rainforest of Southeast Asia and South America; and as compared to those forests, this terrain was far worse. I climbed over the thick roots, using vines to help me scale some rocks.

"This is so crazy and random." I huffed.

The heavenly scent thickened as I followed it towards the source. Ah, I can't stop myself from falling in love. The sayings were indeed true. Aside from branded stuff, excellent food was the best way to a beautiful aunty's stomach. Here I come! My dear lovely stew...or barbecue, or lasagne. Doesn't matter whatever you are, you shall be mine! Mine! Muahahaha.

"Damn drool, get away from me."

The maze-like trees... I laughed at them.

The slimy and webby path I ignore!

Neither the trails of poop nor insects could halt my shaky legs. Never in a hundred years! Not even in a thousand! If I even live that long.

All to reach the glorious prize.

Huzzah! After perhaps an hour, I arrived at the source. I parted the irritating bushes blocking my path and found the right trail. My sniffing prowess had not failed me.

[You have learned a new skill—(Scent Tracking)]

Hoho, it's like the costly game my company made. I could feel my views about that crazy freak who invented that RPG game and forced me to play with him for a week mellowing out.

I glimpsed a small hut. An old wooden house. Only one word was enough to describe it - a haunted witch house from some old fairy tales.

'Grr.' I patted my stomach, appeasing the evil monster within. Then, like a predator seeing its prey, I glared at the origin of the tempting aroma. One thing was for sure, I've had to raid that haunted house! All to scour the devilish food hiding in there. I must put it in its rightful place - my stomach.