Brian's eyes fluttered open from a warm and soft nibble in his ear. Jolting awake, he realized the cold bit at his bones to the point of shivering. "What the hell?" He looked around, feeling the sensation in his ear becoming increasingly uncomfortable. He brought his hand up to it and felt something slimy digging itself into his head.

"Shit!" he exclaimed under his breath, struggling to unlatch the bug from his ear. It seemed to be lodged quite tight, but he eventually managed to free it. Holding it in front of him, Brian squinted, trying to focus on the creature. He couldn't see it, even though he was definitely holding something. It had to be some kind of translucent worm.

As if springing from thin air, words made of a bright orange energy materialized in front of Brian's gaze. He tried to touch them, but they appeared to be further than they looked.

[Petraviper - Critter - Non-aggressive]

“Wha… what is this?” Brian’s words tumbled out of his mouth. He tried rubbing his eyes, but the words wouldn’t leave his peripheral vision.

Petraviper?… Wasn’t I at work? Augmented reality? Brian questioned himself, realizing his surroundings were now a cave. The entire area was illuminated by an ethereal light-blue glow that seemed to come from the walls themselves. It was ominous, yet beautiful.

The invisible worm wriggled between his fingers, then, abruptly, bored what felt like a stinger into his palm. "Fuck!" Brian screamed, snapping his hand and sending the worm flying out of sight – not that he could see it to begin with. Non-aggressive my ass.

A throbbing ache at the back of his head told him he'd been lying on that hard, lumpy rock for a while now. He raised a shaky hand to rub at the sore spot while trying to figure out how in the hell he'd landed in this godforsaken place.

His memory was fuzzy around the edges, offering no hint of an explanation. The last thing he remembered was dozing off to some spreadsheet in his not-so-ergonomic office chair, bored out of his mind.

“Was I drugged? Abducted by a serial killer? Hopefully not one of the jigsaw ones. What was in that hummus?”

Dampness seeped through his clothes. His soggy underwear chafed against his skin, igniting an irritating itch on his butt. When he attempted to rise, his legs protested and forced him to remain grounded. He stayed as motionless as he could, fearing the slightest shift would unleash a torrent of sharp pain rippling up and down his limbs. The sensation was all too familiar—like he had been sitting on the toilet for hours, staring aimlessly at his phone.

He cautiously reached for his pockets, hoping to find his phone or any other familiar items. When his fingers probed the cold fabric, he discovered nothing but emptiness. No keys, no earbuds, and, most disconcertingly, no phone.

“I guess I must’ve left my phone charging on my desk. I really hope this is just a prank.” His primary concern was finding a way back to the office before his boss discovered his absence.

A recent memory flickered through his mind. Just last week, he had joined his friends at an escape room, where they experienced a thrilling, enjoyable time. Yet, the situation he found himself in now was nothing short of ludicrous – his friends had clearly taken their pranks to an extreme.

“Oh, is this… An elaborate cave prank? Really, John?".

Usually, it took a lot to ruffle Brian's feathers. But this? This situation felt like someone's idea of a twisted joke, way more elaborate than anything he’d ever experienced. And it was starting to get to him.

With every passing second, Brian felt his patience being tested. The cave echoed every minor sound. The shadows, flickering and dancing, were doing nothing to ease his growing unease. It was almost like they were joining in on some cosmic joke at his expense.

He took deep breaths, trying to calm himself. He had no idea how long he'd been gone from his office. If he didn't get back soon, this prank might cost him his job.

Brian wouldn't be ruined if he lost his job, but it would certainly set him back on his road to financial independence. "Seriously, John, if this is your idea of a joke… I know I said I needed a break from the office, but this is a little much."

I mean this cave looks pretty surreal, so either that or I’m in a land of fantasy, Brian chuckled slightly. He shook his head, trying to clear it. This wasn't the time to let his imagination get the best of him. He had to get it together.

He poked himself. Am I dreaming? Next to where he pinched, a yellow blister formed where the petraviper had stung him, and he'd lost feeling around it. Fantastic! He tried poking his other arm. “Nope, I’m definitely awake. Also, that bug bite hurt as hell, so this is pretty real.”

“Think. How did I get here? Where’s here? And what was that… like RPG information?” As he continued questioning his predicament, one of his thoughts triggered the appearance of similar text to what he had seen before. It materialized in front of him, scribed in the same burning mystic energy.

Status

Energy Signature: Brian Valtwood

Energy Rank: Latent (lvl 0)

Valtite Reserves: 10

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Rank Progress: 10%

Affinity: None (Available)

Specialization: None (Locked)

Profession: None (Locked)

Vitality: 47/50

Vigor: 45/50

Valtite: 60/60

Stats

Constitution: 5

Strength: 6

Endurance: 5

Dexterity: 7

Wisdom: 6

Intelligence: 7

Untrained Potential: 0

“Woah.” So, I… am in an RPG. Are these stats supposed to reflect my capabilities? From experience, I am pretty sure that vitality and vigor are Health and Stamina. But what is valtite?... Mana, maybe? Constitution and Endurance are both 5, and vitality and vigor 50, so… those have to be related. At least I am intelligent and dexterous, anyway, stats seem straightforward enough, I want to know what affinity, specialization and profession I can get. Maybe I can become a powerful Paladin! But, let’s just roll with it, it’s not the time to speculate; I need to figure out how to get out of here before I die as a level 0… or get fired.

“Ok, let’s try this again, slow steps, slow steps,” Brian winced.

Gradually, the tingling sensation in Brian's legs dissipated, allowing him to stand and assess his unfamiliar surroundings.

As Brian pulled himself up something felt wonky. The air seemed to shift, leaving him both hot and cold simultaneously. Dizziness washed over him like a disorienting tide, and he struggled to find the words to define this peculiar experience. It was similar to standing up too quickly, but he could also feel a strange, almost-magical, pressure against his skin, as if the very atmosphere of the cave was playing tricks on his senses. The unsettling sensation urged him to search for an exit.

Cautiously navigating the cavernous space, he noticed a stalactite that seemed to move out of the corner of his eye. Come on, Brian, you're just being paranoid, he told himself as he walked around the cave, trying to shake off the unsettling feeling that had been nagging at him.

He squinted at the stalactite again, but it remained motionless. Must be my anxiety, he reasoned, dismissing the thought. With a sigh, he looked away for a moment, ensuring he didn't trip over anything in the poor visibility.

When he glanced back at the stalactite, however, it had vanished. Brian rubbed his eyes as if the simple action could clear away the confusion. But when he looked forward again, he froze. Flying towards him were two glowing red circles – eyes, he realized taking a step back.

[Stalactgoyle - lvl ???]

As the creature drew nearer, its form became more apparent – it was like a large gray bat, probably the size of a dog. Its wings flapped erratically, their shape shifting like wisps of smoke. Brian gawked at the supernatural sight before him.

Two horn-like protuberances jutted from its misshapen skull, pointing in opposite directions. Instead of a nose, it had only ragged holes in its asymmetric face. Its massive jaws harbored rows of crooked, jagged teeth of varied lengths, accompanied by oversized fangs.

Then, the creature let out a piercing screech that jolted Brian back to his senses. From the screech, he knew this thing wanted him dead; whether it was his instincts talking or it was simply obvious, he couldn't tell, but he was sure.

"Shit, shit, shit!" Brian cursed under his breath, his eyes darted around frantically in search of any advantage. Spotting a nearby rock, he lunged for it in a desperate bid for defense. But between the weight of the rock and the tremors coursing through his hand, the rock slipped from his grasp as soon as he picked it up. On the second try, however, he managed to secure his grip.

"Bring it on, Batdog!" Brian stammered out as the creature lunged towards him with its claws outstretched. He readied himself and executed a perfect ‘Go No Sen’ technique by sidestepping to the right, narrowly avoiding a vicious swipe, and swung the rock with all his might, all in one smooth motion. The rock hit the Stalactgoyle’s shoulder directly; it was like hitting a solid wall with a bat.

The creature shrieked in anger, but it emerged unscathed.

A shockwave from the rock's impact against the stalactgoyle's stone-like skin rippled through Brian's arm, momentarily stunning him. Before he could regain his composure, the creature turned and sank its grotesque, oversized fangs into his arm. “Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, FUUUCK!” Brian screamed in pain, his vision blurred as he tried to yank free.

As the stalactgoyle clenched its jaws and struggled to rip flesh from bone, Brian felt his feet lift momentarily from the ground. The monster shook its head from side to side like a dog with a toy, grinding Brian's arm between its terrible fangs. Pain like he had never known coursed through his body and Brian tasted bile rising in his throat.

"Get off me, you ugly fuck!" he yelled, his voice hoarse with agony. Desperation drove him to keep smashing the rock against the monster, but no matter how hard or where Brian hit it, the stalactgoyle refused to release its grip. The rock was slowly chipping away, it was half as heavy as when Brian first picked it up but somehow started to developed a sharp edge .

When a particularly well-aimed blow struck the stalactgoyle's head, it screeched; it was in pain Brian somehow knew.

Seizing upon this newfound weakness, Brian summoned every ounce of strength he had left and let out an obscene battle cry as he swung the rock one final time.

"Die, you winged shitstain!" he roared, his fear and anger bleed into every syllable. The stalactgoyle issued a weak, pitiful screech before going limp, its body dangling from Brian's arm like some twisted marionette.

You have vanquished [Stalactgoyle - lvl 4] - You have gained +3 Valtite reserves

‘DING’ Your valtite energy grows to level 1, empowering your stats and increasing your potential. +1 to each stat and +1 untrained point.

"Ha! Take that!" he exclaimed, momentarily forgetting his fear in the adrenaline rush of combat. Panting heavily, he carefully pried the creature's fangs from his flesh. The pain was excruciating, and whimpering he pressed himself against the cave wall for support. His mind sorted through the frustration: Why did he have to end up in a place filled with fucking stalactgoyles? What the fuck is a Stalactgoyle? And who had the bright idea to come up with creatures like these? Where were the elves or dwarves?

"Next time, I want a talking animal sidekick or something," Brian tried to distract himself from the pain. It didn't work. His arm suddenly felt cold, and he looked down to see blood dripping from his fingertips. The sight sent a new wave of panic through him.

Shit, gotta stop the bleeding, he thought as he tore a strip from his sleeve. Gritting his teeth, he wrapped it tightly around the wound, hoping it would be enough to stave off blood loss.

"Alright, Brian," he whispered to himself, trying to stay focused on survival. "You've got this. You're smart, resourceful...and you just took down a fucking stalactgoyle. Whatever else is out there, you can handle it."