Seiji awoke in a hospital room unlike anything he’d seen in Haven. Unlike the white and gold he’d come to expect, it was a beige-walled room with grayish-brown floors, muddy gray furniture, and a gray chair with a familiar occupant.
“Congratulations on not being kicked out of the exam.”
Cora spoke in a droll, almost clinical tone. He already knew why. Guilt and shame danced around in his head as he tried and failed to meet her gaze. Turning his head to the brown door, he responded.
“Same to you.”
“Are you not curious as to what happened after you failed?”
Seiji darkened. Failed. He did fail, in the most humiliating way possible. He could’ve defeated Lirio, quite easily at that, but he’d hesitated the moment it registered with him what he was about to do… again. He turned back to Seiji, who’d turned from him to focus on the TV across from him. It’d been replaying scenes from the Exhibition.
“Lirio Silva and Selene Andris are the current favorites. They’re the most likely to receive the Favorite’s Rites on the 27th Day unless something significant happens between now and then.”
Hope began to rise in Seiji’s heart. It was just like they’d discussed back in the gazebo way back on Day 2. If they managed something–
“Why did you lose?” Cora asked, turning from the screen to face him. She pierced him with the most judgemental look he’d ever seen from her. He lowered his gaze.
“I didn’t want to turn into the person I was against Alexandros. I don’t want to be who I was back on–”
“You aren’t on The Ardor. You’re on Haven. This isn’t–”
Seiji met her gaze. “It’s not an excuse!” He corrected his tone. “Every time I killed someone on The Ardor, they looked at me with the same look. It was a look of pure defeat–”
“This is a competition!” Cora shot up from her seat and stomped to Seiji’s bedside. She grabbed him by the collar of his Exam outfit and pulled him close. “You aren’t here to compete! When a competitor is defeated, it’s only natural that they look at you with defeat! What do you think we trained for?!”
“Didn’t you lose?!”
Seiji grabbed Cora’s own white and gold collar and met her furious gaze with one of his own. He’d lived an entire as a monster. He’d even accepted it as part of himself. He accepted it for her. Now, he goes out of his way to try and be better than it and she treats him like this?
“You don’t have the right to speak to me like I’m some sort of imbecile when you lost just like I did!”
They stared at each other for a long moment, neither giving the other an inch of space or comfort. Cora narrowed her eyes as her breaths began to quicken. Her lips began to quiver, but she stopped it with a deep breath. When she spoke again, her voice was much softer.
“I’ve had plenty of opportunities to rewatch my fight against Selene,” Cora said, removing Seiji from her grip. Seiji let her go, and the girl adjusted her collar. She moved to sit at the foot of his bed, placing herself between the bed and the TV. “Every time I rewatch it, I can pinpoint the exact moment I started to remember your words.”
“Those weren’t my words. I was just imitating–”
“That doesn’t matter. They came from you. Your words are important to me, Seiji. They’re special.”
Her voice began to tremble, but Seiji couldn’t see her face. All he could see were her sagging ears and her tail curving around her body into her lap.
“Even in the moment, it felt like watching someone else fight in my place. I never felt so strong in my life. You gave me strength. You give me strength. When I started to pass out, I was excited. I knew that I’d wake up to watch you defeat Lirio.”
Cora’s back began to shake at that. Seiji watched her clutch her fists at her side as she silently sobbed in front of him. He instinctively moved to try and comfort her with a hand, but she pushed it away. If her words had already pierced him, that had absolutely gutted him. Still not turning to meet him, she spoke again.
“Akio probably got to you.” She mumbled.
“What do you mean?” Seiji asked, though he already knew what she meant.
“When Akio said all that stuff about going back to The Ardor you didn’t give him a clear answer. At first, I was happy, but then I kept telling myself it was because you wanted to leave here and go back. You already have enough power to do whatever you want there, after all.”
“I don’t–”
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“The night before the Exhibition, I told myself that you’d show me in the Exhibition how much you wanted to stay in Haven.” She half turned to him, though Seiji still couldn’t see her eyes. “I’m not even mad that you lost, I’m just mad that you didn’t try!”
Before he could respond, Cora took a deep breath and stood. She did turn to him now, and Seiji felt his emotion stir at the sight that met him. Her teary eyes looked empty. Like she’d completely given up both on him and the Exam. Seiji tried to stand and hug her, but she stopped him with a hand.
“I apologize. This wasn’t what you needed when you woke up.” Cora said, making for the door. “We’ll need to train hard. The Final Exhibition is in ten days, and we need to be on our A game if we’re going to face the Favorites.”
“We can still become the Favorites if we do something big like we did in the Botanist’s Bond Event.”
Cora gave him a dreary nod, then walked out the door, leaving Seiji alone.
Seiji sat back into the white bed he’d been in and watched the TV, though he hadn’t been focused on it. He’d been too lost in his thoughts. What more could he have done? He didn’t want to turn back into the person he was, yet the person he was wouldn’t have lost. How could Cora know about the person he’d been, see it firsthand, and still want him to be that person?
He’d already accepted that bloodlust was just a part of him. Seiji had been trained his entire life to hone it as a weapon that could be used against his enemies. Just before he’d been whisked away to The Ardor, he’d been met by the father of the boy he’d killed and truly awoken. Sure, Sir Lasko helped him to see himself in a new light, but he hadn’t been the one to pull him out of the darkness like that boy’s father had. Seiji didn’t want to go back into the darkness. He didn’t want it to mold him, he wanted to mold it, but he just didn’t know–
When the door creaked open again, he wasn’t entirely surprised to find Endora striding in. She was dressed in the same silver and gold armor she always wore, though her golden wings were completely gone. She must’ve noticed him staring because she gave him a sharp smile as she sat cross-legged in the gray chair.
“Yeah, we can retract them. It’s uncomfortable, so we rarely do.” Endora said, fully summoning her wings straight out of her back with the last word. She shuttered, arching her back as she retracted them. “Anyway, let’s–”
“What more could I have done?!” Seiji blurted. When Endora didn’t respond, he continued. He stood from the bed and began to pace about the hospital room. “I did everything I could! I fought as hard as I could, but Lirio was just stronger than me!”
When he turned to her, Endora met him with a thoughtful look. “Did you?” She challenged. “You started the fight with a desperate assault, then you went into defensive mode when Lirio struck back. Once you realized his attacks hurt, that’s when you started trying, but you gave up the moment you could’ve won.”
Gave up. Those words grated on Seiji, but the more he played them back the more true they felt. Cora didn’t need a lunatic as a Servant, but this… She didn’t need a coward either. He leaned back into his bed and stared at the ceiling as embarrassment slowly began to mix with the guilt and shame.
“It’s smart to fight like that against a tough enemy. You can’t afford to not fire on all cylinders against someone who could swat you like a fly. But you have… bloodlust. You could’ve won if you’d followed through with it. That is what has Cora so upset. When she unintentionally tapped into hers, she was ready to follow through with it. She only stopped because her body couldn’t keep up with her mind.”
Seiji’s eyes widened as he began to understand the hidden truth of those words. He reconsidered the wounds Lirio gave him, the beam of light Selene struck Cora with, and the earth-shattering Dragon Bursts she’d fired at Selene.
“Seiji, your issue is that you’re trying to change yourself to better suit Cora. Do you understand why that can’t work?” Endora stood from her seat and stood at his bedside. She jabbed him with a finger. “Seiji Otsuki is hardly a Servant. I watched the recordings of him in the Hell Pit. Seiji Otsuki is an absolute monster. I watched him kill a Tier 4 Servant while he was a Tier 3!” She smiled.
“Cora doesn’t need–”
“Cora Lambros is an arrogant Queen and an egotistical warrior. There’s nothing she loves more than displaying her might.”
“What are you saying, Endora?” Seiji asked, his tone exasperated.
“I’m saying, when Cora is herself and you are yourself, you two are nigh unstoppable! Imagine the Cora that fought against Selene being paired with the Seiji that killed–”
“You told us to fight like a team! You said we were too individual!”
Endora nodded and gave him a serious look. “I felt it necessary for you two to experience this loss so that the weight of my final lesson to you can truly stick.”
Seiji shot up from the bed. Endora didn’t flinch, hooking him with that same victorious smile she always gave him when she was about to say something. He wanted to feel angry, but right now he was just tired. He sat back in his seat and waited for Endora to say whatever it was she had to say.
“Cora is attempting to become her version of the ideal Valkyrie. Your love for her is compelling you to adapt to that desire, irrespective of your personal feelings. Neither of you are being honest with yourselves. I already told you who you both are!”
Endora rose again and walked to Seiji’s bedside. She placed a gauntleted hand on his head, and Seiji was surprised by how much relief it filled him with.
“Advance to Tier 5, then call for me. I’ll teach you two my final lesson.” Endora smiled. “I can get you two in the Favorite’s Rites, but you just need to try!”