Chapter 24: Blue moon (reprise)

When the Doctor found his ward, it was already too late. The girl was lying in the grasses, convulsing uncontrollably. Her eyes were wide open with a vacant look, devoid of life. Blackened veins could be seen running down her throat with small shards of metal digging out, yet leaving behind no trace of blood.

“No, no, no…”

The Doctor tried to resuscitate her to no avail. With his ancient knowledge, the man could bring anyone, no matter how to close they were to the void, back to life. But to once the line was crossed, there was nothing he could do.

Unless he decided to use something that should have remained forgotten.

“I’m so sorry…”

Her death was on his hand. The Kid was someone more capable than most, yet it was not enough. This situation was not something she could ever hope to surpass. But if the girl would also never forgive herself for running away either. Doc only option was to force to her out, by force.

Yet, he could not bring himself to be hated by that girl.

“I… lied to you, I was not strong enough tell you the truth…” Frank Holliday muttered to himself. “The Dolls, I did not pick them up because of charity. I did so because I knew they were at the bottom. I did so because they would not go against their savior. I used them for my experiment, turned them into those… things and I taught them to kill, to be heartless.”

It was all his fault. And the pain of losing Claudia, of having lied to her, was too much for him to bear. “You may never forgive me for this… but… ah I have no excuse.” The Doctor pulled out a strange concoction, the last of its kind. Something he had sealed away so long ago, when his heart was still one without empathy.

The Doctor plunged the needle deep into the girl’s vein. The concoction took now time to spread throughout the body by replicating itself endlessly.

He waited and waited, yet the girl remained still as a corpse. Was it not working, the Doctor could not check as he lacked the necessary equipment. Having only used this concoction once before, he did not have sufficient experience either.

Doc clutched his head and sighed. “Don’t worry, I will wait for you to wake up, no matter how long that will take.”

What to do in the meantime, he took out a flask of alcohol. In the end, the better side prevailed and he flunk the item away, not taking even a single drop. “Guess I could talk to you to pass the time…” He sighed. “It’s also time I told you of why Rohan was hunting me.”

The Doctor was a wanderer, one who seek lands most exotic. From the temples buried at the depth of the ocean to the stairway to heaven, he was a man well-traveled. Then one day, he arrived at a nation, surrounded by mountains that touched the sky, perfectly hidden from the outside world.

Their culture was different yet familiar as their ancestors were once wanderers just like him as well. Families and caravans, leaving their ravaged home in a search of a brighter and that they did. The nation they created was one that prospered under the rule of benevolent leaders.

And above them, Rohan the Adjudicator. His was their protector from raiders and the eldritch, he was their enforcer of truth, and he was their beacon.

With one single word, Rohan could have the king sentenced and stripped of his throne. It was fortunate for the people that the Adjudicator was one most fair. This hidden country was supposed to continue to prosper, as long as they were under his rule.

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But it was not meant to be.

The Doctor’s heart sank deeper for every word that came from his mouth. This pain, however, was not caused by the horrible crime that he had committed. No, he felt agony from the fear that the girl would see him for what he truly was, a monster.

“I could show you many wonderful inventions.” Doc had said to the king.

He kept his word. In a short period of time, the people of the valley was blessed with technology that completely changed their lives. No longer was valuable time in ones’ day be taken over by menial task like washing or making cloths. Instead, automation came to handle works most tedious.

It was a busy time for the small county as they tried to adopt those inventions. In the chaos, no one noticed as the Doctor dug deeper into their history.

He reached a revelation that spelled doom for the valley country. One of these many mountains were a volcano once, now lain dormant. While the Doctor had no interest about such a geological find, he was for more intrigued by the Adjudicator’s power. How many souls could the man possibly absorb, he must have his answer.

Thus, one fateful day, the volcano that had slept for so long suddenly awakened. There was no time to run as the dust cloud covered the sky in darkness. As lava flooded through the street and the heat wave blasted through, the valley country was reduced to nothingness.

After the dust had settled, only two remained. The one who started it all and the mournful ruler without a home.

Doc had his answer. The Adjudicator had absorbed all the souls of his people barred none. Even then, they screamed in pain from being suffocated, from being burned alive. And they would forever more, the torture was eternal for both the damned souls and their bearer.

All of that, just to satisfy one man’s curiosity.

That was simply one of his many crimes, not the worst nor the last. Still, confessing his sins had seemingly lifted a giant weight of the Doctor’s chest. Now, he only needed to bear the pain of rejection by his own ward. But it was what he deserved.

The Doctor sat in silent, content to be this way till the end of time. Then a faint sound of single caught his ears.

“Blue moon, you saw me standin' alone. Without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own.” It was the girl, muttering weakly a familiar melody.

“You are awake!” Doc exclaimed.

“I have been for a long time, your voice brought me back.” She said. “I just… couldn’t answer you, but I can now.”

To hear her voice again brought tears to his eyes. “Then you heard everything…”

“Yes, I have.” The girl struggled to sit up. As Doc tried and helped, she grabbed and his hand and gazed into his eyes. “And?”

“And?” The Doctor did not understand.

“You have done many horrible things, indeed… But even if I can never accept them, without you, I would have never been born to this world. I may get angry, I maybe sad about you but, I would never hate you.” The girl said weakly, her breathing heavy and strained.

“That… You need to rest…” Doc replied, not knowing what to do.

The girl pulled herself up and muttered. “I don’t believe the you now, is evil, not one bit. There are plenty of time left, for you to do goods back to this world, to outweigh the damage you have done… I believe… you could do it…”

With those last words the girl once again slipped back into unconsciousness. The Doctor held her gently, his shaking hands clenching.

For so long he had run away from his past, drowning in the countless. It was not to forget, but to push away who he once was. Doc was always plagued with fear, that when his mind became lucid, the demons within would return.

But that snowy night, something magical had happened.

The Doctor had brought many children to this world, this time was different. It was the first time he had done something selfless, putting himself in the line, not out of a hidden agenda. The result was this baby, a blank slate that was so fragile. Holding her, the result of his good deed, was something magical.

Perhaps it was selfish of him, to pin his hope of becoming something better onto her. But this little girl had accepted it all. And it was time for him to be what she believe him to be.

Frank Holliday grabbed the hat lying next to the girl and put it over her sleeping face. He then lift her up, his grips were firm and unshaken. The girl would be taken to somewhere she belonged, a place where she could be safe. Meanwhile, the Doctor would no longer run away, it was time to end this nightmare once and for all. Not only for her sake, but his as well.

Up in the sky, the sun was slowly retreating from beyond the horizon as the moon rose.

And then there suddenly appeared before me

The only one my arms will hold

I heard somebody whisper "please adore me"

And when I looked, the moon had turned to gold