It has been 3 weeks since Dad got discharged from the hospital and I have been experiencing hell. Literal hell.

Deprived of sleep: check

Being dragged around: check

Mentally and physically tired: check

Wanting to die (although not literally): double and triple check

They were planning my wedding with enthusiasm and although Lucas was nowhere to be seen and I've never caught a glimpse of him, not even his shadow. My parents were determined to make it one heck of a wedding.

Lucas made my parents decide but he will be the one shouldering all the costs and it was clearly not a wise decision. He certainly thinks it's too troublesome to prepare a wedding so why would he go to great lengths to get married to me?

But seriously how unlucky of him to think my parents have any shame.

They were able to move the date to next month and they were frantic to make it as perfect as possible.

I suggested a civil marriage to make it less costly and hassle as possible but they were persistent to make an extravagant wedding that I regretted not begging on my knees.

Maybe if I did that they would have settled for a simple wedding and I wouldn't be suffering right now.

We first planned the guests and since the wedding was so sudden we were only able to invite a few people from both sides. Lucas just sent a document with names on it to invite for the wedding.

I even suggested inviting passersby since there were so few and they made an effort to plan a wasteful wedding.

The venue would be in a high-end resort, although I wanted it to be on the streets since being married is trash and I wanted to make traffic and possibly save people from cars.

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

We wasted a week visiting some wedding services and suppliers and settled on a costly but fine one. We were able to choose cakes, flowers, decors and other stuff needed for a wedding and it was unbelievable how many preparations were involved in it

I want the theme to be abstract but they all looked at me as if I'm from another world and decided on a Garden in the Beach theme.

I think abstract would be more enjoyable and fun to watch.

They hired a professional wedding planner and they all had a conversation, my parents omitted me since I'm practically thinking of my marriage as a joke.

Well, they're not wrong.

And although I love food and sweets, I felt distressed as we were taste-testing and choosing the cake. Who would be happy to choose their cake for their wedding? I know I would.

I got dragged then to a bridal shop where I exhausted my energy trying on different wedding dresses and accessories.

And I may say, it was not in the slightest bit enjoyable. The dresses were sometimes itchy, suffocating, annoying and I just want to rip them off and demand my casual clothes.

I felt like a compressed sardine in a can and it felt too wrong wearing a wedding gown.

We bought flat shoes (although an argument broke out when they insisted I wear heels. How dare they?), accessories, some hairpieces and settled with a simple but elegant wedding gown. I was fine with it since it was not that strangling and annoying to wear but still, it wasn't comfortable.

How I wish women were allowed to wear pajamas for a wedding because I would gladly wear mine.

I've been wanting and planning to have my grandest escape since everything was stressing me out but then they dropped a huge bomb on me.

They informed me they've got huge debts to pay and Lucas Landcaster was their only hope to escape imprisonment. Since I'm already twenty and already of legal age, I would also be brought to jail because they put one of their debts under my name.

How kind of them?

I usually wonder how I was gifted ( note the sarcasm) with lovely and hateful parents that I'm actually thinking if I'm cursed to be unlucky or what.

There was only a week left before my actual marriage and a part of me was hoping that it wouldn't happen ever and I could plan a way to stop it.

I was imagining endless possibilities to escape marriage life even including staging an accident and having amnesia but I know it wasn't possible. There's no way I could leave my parents and be a runaway fugitive.

I sighed as I felt a headache was starting to occur and I tried to chase out all my thoughts since I'm pretty sure it's the main culprit of the throbbing in my head.

I'm currently in my room gazing at the ceiling with a somber expression trying to withstand the pain in my head.

I was treating my marriage as a joke hoping it would turn to one, but deep inside I'm broken and wrecked.

I wanted to run away because I'm afraid. I wanted to quickly ditch the wedding and lock myself up in a room not wanting to get out. I wanted to escape from the thought of being married.

But it was all futile since our situation was a huge slap in my face.

What my mother said was right..I've got no choice.

What I need to look forward to right now is divorce. What I need to do now is to close my eyes and endure everything for divorce.

But Lucas might be a jerk and an awful being ( well, he's already a creep for wanting to marry me out of the blue so I think there's a likelihood that there's something wrong with his brain.)

and there's a possibility he wouldn't agree with the divorce so I planned to make his life a living hell. I mean who wouldn't want to give me up if I'm a walking catastrophe and problems want to stick around me.

My goal is to endure and be terrible as possible to achieve an absolute glorious divorce.

"Yeah, it's all for divorce." she was talking and laughing by herself but she couldn't care less.

She would hang on to this hope and light, out of this darkness called marriage and she would do everything to attain her goal.

It's better to think positively than wallow in sadness, loathing, and anger. It's better to think about how you could torment the man who's trying to mess with your life and happiness.

Lucas Landcaster

I hope you're ready because I won't back down that easily. I'm not someone you can tame nor a goody two shoes so expect that it won't be simple forcing me to marriage.