THE OMINOUS DARKNESS AROUND HER SUDDENLY TURNED SERENE AND TRANQUILIZING. She no longer felt fear, was also no longer able to distinguish reality from illusion. For the first time ever, she didn’t feel overwhelmed by the darkness. The terrifying memories, nightmares, and flashbacks didn’t come back to intimidate her. For the first time ever, she could feel calm in the dark, the thing that had haunted her for as long as she lived. Even if she couldn’t move nor could she breathe, she felt alright. Her lungs no longer screamed for air. The pain had left her, somehow, with nothing but hollow happiness and peace. She couldn’t think about anything, but she realized, her time was near. She was just waiting, waiting for her bodily function to entirely stop. Every last ray of hope had left her ages ago, when she could only watch as the surface grew further from her reach.
Then she heard it. It was faint at first, a mere whisper. But it became louder as each second passed by, loud enough for her to discern the meaning. The ringing female voice was calling for her name. It reverberated through the vast endless darkness around her, as though it was telling her something.
“It’s not your time to go yet.” It seemed to say. The voice repeated those words a few times in her brain before she could grasp the meaning. It might be true, it might not be her time to die yet. Certainly she hadn’t done anything to deserve that kind of death, but then, telling her that couldn’t possibly change anything. Her fate was already sealed. Help wouldn’t ever reach her, nobody might even noticed her drowning.
She couldn’t see anyone, but she was sure she could feel the unknown female smiling at her, as in understanding. A warm comforting smile. “Help doesn’t have to come from above, My dear.” The ringing voice echoed.
“Be strong and trust yourself. It will find you.” It continued as it left her alone, slowly fading away into the darkness, letting the emptiness take over.
Suddenly images flashed before her eyes. She knew her mind must be playing some sort of trick on her. She saw herself. Her memories were playing on her head. She still remembered that occasion perfectly well. She was walking toward the raised podium, her half dried hair let loose behind her back. The crowd backed away in front of her, clearing a space for her to move. She stood at the highest podium, one hand holding a trophy, gold medal around her neck, broad smile on her face. Cameras and all eyes were focused on her. It was one of the brightest moments in her life. She couldn’t have forgotten the jealous eyes from the lower podium in her left and right who lost only by a few seconds to her.
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How ironic for a national swimming championship winner to die by drowning. The other competitor would definitely mock her once they found out. She was grateful though, she wouldn’t be alive to hear them badmouthing her or saw their sickening eyes, giving their fake sympathy. Still, they didn’t deserve to do that, after all, it also meant they lost to someone who died by drowning. Just the thought of that made her want to laugh.
Image after image flashed before her. She saw every moment of her life. Her body suddenly started to jolt violently. She knew her time was drawing near, she was about to let go of everything. But she had one last regret. Her sister. She saw her sister’s sky blue eyes looking at her. She regretted that she wouldn’t be able to support her or protect her anymore. She regretted that her death would only make her cry and suffer, that she would have to leave her alone.
No. She wouldn’t let everything ended this way. Her time might be near, but she was still alive. Her body hadn’t stopped functioning yet. Her heart was still beating. There must be something she could do. So, she would not give up. She would rather die trying than being weak and powerless, succumbed to her fate. At least, she wouldn’t die like this.
She would die without any regret.
The violent tug returned her sense of pain and the throbbing from pressure in her head, pulling her back to reality. If there were any chance for help to reach her, then she knew exactly what she needed to do. In the vast darkness around her, even the smallest or dimmest light would attract attention toward her. Though she realized it would also lure unwanted attention, in this deep ocean full of predators and unknown sea creatures. Either way, she would definitely die if she didn’t dare to take a risk. She wasn’t sure whether it would work or not, but it was her last hope. She just need to trust herself. With her last bit of power, she jerked and pushed the button in her watch.
Light flared from the watch in her left wrist. She didn’t understand how it could work, the pressure should have damaged the watch, but she could only be grateful. The light seemed to flare brighter and longer than it did normally.
Maybe it was true after all, it wasn’t her time to die yet.
No matter, she didn’t care whether some kind of power were keeping her alive. One thing for sure, she would not die.
She would survive.
She would live.