Chapter 10: Memories

I’m tellin’ ya, there’s nothing better than waking up in the middle of a sunbeam. The way that warm light sinks into your fur? Bliss. I stretch out as far as my legs will go—front paws forward, back paws waaaay back, and my tail doing that little shiver-shake thing. Perfect. Absolutely perfect.

I’m a wolf pup. And let me tell ya, being a pup is the best thing in the world.

First of all, I get away with everything. Want to chew on a stick for an hour? Nobody stops me. Want to pounce on a butterfly like it owes me money? Go for it, champ. Want to tackle my bigger brother and nibble on his ear until he yelps? Oh, you bet I’m doing that. Sure, he’ll chase me afterward, but that’s the whole point! Life’s a game, and I’m winning.

"Not so fast, runt!" my brother, Fenn, barks as I dart past him. He's fast, but I'm faster. My little legs go into turbo mode, zig-zagging through the underbrush like I'm being chased by the wind itself.

He lunges for me—big mistake. I duck under a branch, and he whacks his snout on it. Hah! Classic Fenn move.

“Too slow, big guy!” I bark, hopping onto a rock like I just conquered the tallest mountain in the world. I throw my head back and howl. It's not much of a howl, really—more like a squeaky little "Aaaah-oooo!"—but it gets the job done. I’m basically a king out here.

But being a pup isn’t just about being fast and clever. It’s about discovery. Every day there’s something new. Yesterday, I learned that frogs are slippery. Today, I learned that bees are NOT for eating. (Don’t ask.)

And right now? Right now, I’ve just discovered the most amazing smell I’ve ever smelled in my short, glorious life. It’s warm. It’s rich. It’s… it’s like…

Wait.

I know that smell.

I tilt my head, sniffing the air harder, ears twitching. It's like something just unlocked in my brain. I step down from my "king rock" and follow the scent trail, sniffing with every step.

The forest air is sharp and fresh, full of dirt and bark and leaves, but this smell is different. It’s smoky, meaty, like prey that's already been caught and cooked. Not just cooked—grilled.

Grilled.

That word hangs in my mind like a shiny pebble. Why do I know that word? I don’t even know what "grilled" means. Do I?

But I do know.

Suddenly, I’m walking slower, each pawstep careful and deliberate. My nose leads me down a small hill, through the ferns and toward a clearing where the smell is strongest. It’s familiar in a way that nothing in this forest ever has been. Not like the wildflowers I sniff every day. Not like the scent of my mom or Fenn. This is different. This is... home.

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Home?

No. Not home. Backyard.

The word hits me like a snap of thunder. My heart skips. Backyard. Why do I know that word?

I can hear something now—laughter. High-pitched, fast, full of joy. Not the yips of pups playing, but something more… more…

“C’mon, throw it! Throw it already!”

The voice is clear as day. It’s young. It’s my voice. I freeze in place. I feel like I’ve just seen a ghost, but it’s not a ghost. It’s me.

My ears press flat against my head as my heart races. I see flashes, like bits of a dream you only half-remember. I see the greenest grass I’ve ever seen, stretching on and on. It’s short, perfectly short, like it’s been chewed down by a thousand rabbits. I see wooden fences that stand like walls, holding it all in.

There’s a big, flat stone. Hot to the touch. Beside it, a man with broad shoulders stands over a metal beast with fire inside it. He’s holding something long and flat—a spatula. And on the fire beast, there’s food sizzling.

Sizzle. Crackle. Pop.

The smell. That smell.

"Cheeseburgers are almost done, kiddo!" the man says, his voice deep and warm. I know that voice. I know it. It fills me with warmth like nothing else ever has. My heart aches, but I don’t know why.

“Yessss!” I hear myself say—or at least, the voice of the boy I was. “Extra cheese, Dad!”

My paws tremble. Dad? Dad?

I see him turn around. He’s wearing a plain blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He grins at me, holding the spatula like it’s a royal scepter. His eyes crinkle at the edges. He’s happy. I can tell. He’s happy.

And I’m happy, too. I feel it so clearly, so powerfully, it hurts.

But I’m not there.

I’m here.

I’m a wolf pup in the middle of the woods, standing still like a statue. The clearing smells like cooking meat, but there’s no fire, no metal beast, no backyard. Only trees. Only dirt.

Only the truth.

I wasn’t always a wolf.

I was a boy once.

I sit down, my legs too shaky to hold me up anymore. My breath comes in little huffs, fast and short. My ears are still pressed back. My heart won’t stop pounding.

I was a boy once. I had a backyard, a dad, and cheeseburgers.

I don't know how long I sit there, breathing in the phantom smell of a world I can’t return to. Fenn calls for me from up the hill. “You coming, runt?” he barks.

I sniff one more time. The smell is fading now, like a campfire long gone cold. I stare at the spot where the backyard should be, where my dad should be, but all I see is forest.

I stand up, my legs steadier now.

“Yeah,” I bark, shaking the leaves from my fur. “Yeah, I’m coming.”

I turn away from the smell. It’s gone now, and I don’t look back.

----------------------------------------

Fenn pounces on me as soon as I reach the top of the hill, knocking me onto my side. He’s grinning like an idiot. “Ha! Thought you got lost, pup.”

“Lost?” I snap, rolling back to my paws. “You’re the one who gets lost.”

“Only when you run ahead,” Fenn fires back, tackling me again. We roll together, biting at each other’s ears, growling and laughing like we always do.

The sun comes out from behind the clouds, its warmth sinking into my fur. I stop for a moment, staring at it as it filters through the leaves.

I think about the backyard. I think about cheeseburgers. I think about Dad.

But I’m not sad. Not really. Because I know something now. I had a good life once. I remember it.

And this? This is good too. The sun is warm. The air is fresh. I’m a pup, and there are butterflies to chase.

“C’mon, Fenn!” I bark, sprinting ahead. “Bet you can’t catch me!”

“Watch me!” Fenn howls, sprinting after me.

My legs go into turbo mode, and I zig-zag through the forest, laughing, leaping, and howling with the joy of being alive. I was a boy once. I’m a wolf now.

And for the first time, I’m okay with that.

The End.