Upon our return we leave Alo and Vice together in a side room to recover and gather everyone together to discuss Sedena, and her rather violent tendencies. The fact that she’s acting outside the bounds of the rules imposed on the welfare officers is incredibly dangerous, and my first thought is to see her dead one way or another.
“She hurt a collared beast under her control?” Adler asks, leaning back and thinking. “There are a few ways that that might be considered within the rules… but not many. Alo was fully collared and ordered into non-violence. She couldn’t be considered a threat.”
“Could it have been a means of taming her?” I ask, looking for a potential loophole that might have allowed Sedena to act as she did without breaking her collar.
“No, welfare officers oversee the taming process, but they generally won’t directly interfere like that. Even then, violent means of taming are frowned upon rather strictly.” Adler replies.
“So Sedena is like us. She’s been freed from her collar but is using her position as a welfare officer to do whatever she wants?” Eshya says, nodding easily.
“Maybe…” Adler grumbles her tail slapping against the ground in an uneasy rhythm. “If true… this could be bad for us.”
“Obviously it’s bad.” Nel says, snorting. “It’s a question of just how bad this is. That said, we’ve dealt with worse.”
“I’m not sure that we have.” Adler says, mumbling. “As a welfare officer there’s more issues at play than with creatures like Loekan.”
“Indeed, there is.” Arduelle says, popping into existence at my side. “It’s time for class, Kyra, but this seems a good opportunity to settle you down.
“You can’t kill Sedena.” She says, nodding her head as if to add weight to the statement. “The death of a welfare officer is trouble. It will bring us the attention of the more dangerous welfare officers, and that’s no good for any of us.”
“Could we prove that she’s uncollared to the other welfare officers?” Vii suggests.
“No.” Arduelle and Adler speak at the same time.
“They won’t believe it.” Adler says. “A proper welfare officer can’t be suspicious of other officers. It’s not… we just can’t.”
“You’ll need to bother the more dangerous higher ranking welfare officers to get anything done, and then they’ll be investigating thoroughly. They’ll find out about Adler, then about the rest of you. Appealing to authority won’t work for you here.”
“We can’t kill her, we can’t get the authorities to deal with her, what can we do?” I ask.
“That’s what you have to figure out.” Arduelle says, smiling lightly. “You can manipulate her to keep a distance from you, come to an accord with her, an agreement to not bother one another, or you could try and collar her in a way that’ll stick. There are any number of possible solutions, limited only by your creativity.
“You’ve been killing every problem standing in your way so far, I think that has played into your… issues.”
“Yes, yes. I’m a homicidal maniac, I get it.”
“Good, now it’s time to do something about it.” Arduelle continues. “You’re allowing your emotions to take control from you, if things continue like this you will die and leave all your friends, and your playmates here, lying dead in the dust that you’ve unsettled with your unsubtle actions.”
There’s nothing I can say to that, I know that everything that’s been going on with me recently has been… not good. I know that things can end badly, especially with that strange evolution that I was offered.
At first, I simply couldn’t believe that it was possible things could end badly. I understand that I’m not some fated goddess, able to protect everything and everyone that I love, but at first I couldn’t picture myself failing.
Now I can, and it terrifies me. I can see what’ll happen if we leave Sedena to go on killing. She’ll eventually set her eyes on us, and someone I love will be hurt or killed.
Tear her limbs apart, grind the stone down to dust, and use the clay to memorialise her grave with her own corpse.
This voice, my voice, is simply another attempt at keeping that fear at bay. It’s not supernatural, it’s not anything more than my own desperate attempt to keep myself from feeling the terror building up in my gut.
“So, what do I do?” I ask. “I was trying to set up this city as a safe place where I don’t need to… Where I don’t need to be afraid.” I force the words out. “It’s still not enough, so what do I do?”
“You have to learn to live with that fear.” Arduelle says, her voice surprisingly weak. “It’s something that we all must learn. There is always someone more powerful, always someone who can strip away everything you care for and love. You must learn to accept that fear without letting it control you.”
My fingers trace the swirling lines along my arms, as I start trembling. Images and thoughts racing through my mind. Everything that I’ve been through, everything that could come from today. I desperately reach for the power to prevent it all, but it’s still not enough.
“I’m here.” Eshya says, hanging her arms over my shoulders and hugging me from behind. She grabs my hands and pulls them apart, playing with my fingers to keep them from scratching at my own arms. Swirling red marks are already colouring my skin.
“How?” I ask Arduelle. “How can I ever…?”
“Focus.” She says. “Do not allow your emotions to control your actions. Do not refuse your emotions entirely, it would result in a dreary life and would not be suitable for you, but do not let them control you. You must use your logical mind to decide what actions you must take to achieve your goals.
“You can rage, despair, or suffer, but do not let any of that make your choices for you. Look towards the future that you want to build, then consider the step you must take to get there. Sometimes this will necessitate that you bow to one like myself, or others much crueller than I. Sometimes it will mean that you leave a threat to survive, like Sedena, because killing them will only cause you greater issue.
“Consider and meditate on your future and how you will reach it.”
The conversation draws me back to who I was when this all began. The person I was when I boarded an alien ship, and the person I was when I fell from the skies, to find that ship crashed.
When I saw what Red was doing, the arena that she made to slaughter those too weak to thrive in this chaotic universe. I didn’t start raging and killing. I didn’t have the power to.
At that time, I let my rage slowly burn in the back of my mind as I maintained control over myself. Since then… since then, I’ve found people that I cannot lose, and it’s made me reckless. It’s made my heart unstable, and my mind unsteady.
To think, what I’ve gained has made me weaker for my desperation to protect them.
Realizing as much, I take a deep breath, and try to set aside my fear to focus on the feeling of cold rage that used to be so familiar to me. The stable mind and heart that helped me to survive back before I had any power to my name.
It’s strangely easy to find, burning like a blue flame over the slick oily ball of fear that’s built up inside of me. Yet, when I think of Sedena or other threats, it’s like the tumultuous terror tearing through my insides steals that calm away.
The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.
At least I have direction, a familiar calm that I can try to regain.
A brief knock on the door intrudes on my meditation, and Veralia walks into the room; the lizard woman who joined me at the request of her king. She bows low to Arduelle before facing me. Vii, Nel, and Adler stay across from me in their own conversation, listening in but while trying not to be rude.
“I’m here to offer you formality training.” She says, trembling slightly as she looks between me and the walking, talking dungeon. Arduelle is a goddess to most of these people.
“What does this have to do with my ‘stability’?” I ask, leaning back into Eshya’s arms as she continues to mess with my hands, weaving her fingers into my own.
“If you’re going to learn to bow to me, then you need to learn how to bow without making a fool of yourself.” Arduelle says.
“Doesn’t every culture have its own rules for this sort of thing?” I ask.
“Certainly.” Arduelle nods, smiling. “Yet, there is a clear distinction between someone who is trained in foreign formalities and someone who has no training at all. I’ll have you taught to properly hold yourself, not only for you to bow and scrape to your betters, but to ensure that you can properly respect peers and your inferiors.”
“Ugh.” I shiver at the thought. I have so much else to be working on, and I don’t like the thought of these lessons taking up even more of my precious time.
“Then let us begin.” Viralia says, bowing her head and waving for me to stand.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The lesson is simple, if demanding. I’m expected to be precise with every movement, from my walking to my bowing, but that’s still the simple part, even if it demands repetition until perfection.
A more interesting aspect is the nature of formal speech through our translators. The translator rather consistently reads intention, rather than audible words, and works even more precisely when both people are equipped with them. There’s even a means for it to take over your mouth to express foreign words, though I’ve found little need for it with how common translators are.
Because of this function, rather than any particular words or phrases, what’s important to communication, is intention. I need to learn how to force my intention into every word, expression, and casual movement. It’s difficult enough to achieve, but I’m told that I need to eventually lie using the same intention based communication, I’m not nearly at that point yet.
“A long way to go yet.” Arduelle says, looking down upon me.
“Very much so.” Veralia sighs, shaking her head in disappointment. “It would do us well to dedicate a few months to this, but it seems that would be impossible.”
“Yes, it would be impossible.” Nel says, “Her schedule is quite busy unfortunately.”
I mess with a set of stones as they talk, playing with my reinforcement magic, seeing what I can do with it. As they say, I’m busy, so I should use my time practicing what I can actually do well. What’s more, this magic is strangely soothing to practice, working at the smallest atoms and positioning them to smooth out the stones.
I could shape it anyway that I’d like, but it is the small adjustments that take the most mental effort, while using the least mana.
“Kyra?” Nel asks, pulling my attention back to the matter at hand. Arudelle and Viralia are both gone, and it’s just me and my lovers.
“Am I late for something?” I ask, trying to think of what classes and meetings that I’ve got scheduled.
“No, it’s fine. We were just talking about Sedena and what we can do with her.” Vii says, leaning forwards. “If we can’t kill her, and we can’t get her in trouble with the welfare officers, what’s left?”
“Planning ahead…” I grumble, pushing down my fear and focusing my mind. I can’t let my fear rule me.
“We can confront her.” Eshya suggests. “Tell her we know that she’s uncollared, and tell her she’s dead if she messes with us. Make her aware that we’re not afraid of screwing her over if she screws with us.”
“She could use that as an excuse to attack us.” Nel says, worriedly.
“She doesn’t need an excuse.” Eshya says. “May as well make sure she’s aware that we’ll screw her over, too.”
“Is she even going to come after us?” Vii asks. “She’s not come for us so far.”
“If she’s really killing people like that otter, and hurting others like Alo, then she’s the worst sort of beast. She won’t stop. Maybe we’ll be lucky and avoid her attention, but I’m not comfortable letting her have her way. We can’t let her kill and hurt people.”
“I agree.” I nod, taking a breath and focusing my mind. “We need to find some way to keep her from acting. Threatening her life is possibly going to work, otherwise we can find something that’ll hopefully keep her busy. Maybe, we can invite her down here to hunt some beasts…? I doubt that’ll work, but sometimes the carrot works better than the stick.”
“What about Khet, that crafters guild master?” Nel asks. “He’s been working to gain control over this city with his guild, and I’m sure he’s going to be causing us trouble.”
“Then, we keep an eye on things. He doesn’t seem like he’s going to try to use violence against us, so I’d rather not just beat him into submission.”
“What if he limits what his guild members sell to us, or something like that?” Vii asks. “A trade war, to pressure us into giving him more land, or whatever else he wants.”
“Then we’ll stop trading with them, and they’ll feel the consequences of it.” I say.
“We can do something more than that.” Nel says, pulling out a small crystal. It’s not like the dark crystal that my throne is made from, rather it’s like a clear, faintly blue crystal. “This is from a neighbouring cavern. It’s filled with them, and monsters made from them.”
“Then can’t others get them, too?” I ask, picking it up and looking it over. If this is meant to give us an advantage, I can’t see it.
“Can they reliably fill them with dense mana?” Nel asks. “With the right enchantments they can hold far more mana than usual, and they can be refilled.”
“Currency?” I ask, sitting up straight and looking it over.
“Precisely.” She says. “Though it’s really the mana inside that’s the currency. With your ability to move mana around, we wouldn’t have to be worried about someone else taking control of the business.
“People can use the mana to improve their mana form, or they can use it for trade or any number of other things.” Nel says excitedly. “It’s perfect to use as payment to our people, or as a trade good.”
“How do they get the mana out of it?” I ask, looking at her seriously.
“Suck on them? Swallow them?” Nel suggests, shrugging.
“I’m not sure I’m comfortable knowing that our money is getting pulled out of shit every time it changes hands.” I say, shifting around on my chair.
“We can enchant them with cleansing.” Nel suggests.
“Actually, this leads into another conversation we need to have.” I say, leaning back. “We need to talk about our mana form development. I’m preparing for crystallisation, and I’d like to ask how all of you are progressing?”
“I’m going to leave any adaptions until the next stage.” Adler says as the others hesitate. “I’ll focus only on changing what’s necessary for the crystallisation and leave any adaptions for afterwards. I don’t have the resources to make proper adaptions at this stage, and it’s far cheaper just to focus on the crystallisation stage first.
“A dense mana form is more important than any changes adaption can bring.” She concludes.
“Okay.” I say, nodding. “We do have the resources though, so don’t let that affect your decision.”
“Even so, I think this is the best for me. I don’t feel capable of creating anything like your throne without a few years of effort. My time is better focused on working on other projects and adapting my flesh only so far as is necessary to allow for crystallisation.”
“Anyone else have thoughts or plans?” I ask. “We can gather crystals or anything else that you think could help you.”
“I want armour.” Eshya says. “Like yours, but better. Ria has been working on those batteries, and I want to see what they can do. It’ll also help with more expensive adaptions later on.”
“We’ll get that set up then. I’d like to have something like that for each of you if possible.”
“It’ll take time.” Nel says, frowning slightly.
“Well, we’re just going to have to ensure that we have the time for it.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Skills & Stats
~Mana Form:
Current mana density: 6192 units
~Mana distribution:
Category Current Max. Defence 20% 100% Offense 20% 100% Mana Sense 20% 100% Recovery 20% 100% Gluttony 10% 100% Misc. 10% 100% Efficiency 100% 100%
~Favourited Skills:
-Tag and Film
-Trapping
-Stealth
-Mana surge movement
-Annihilation defence
-Annihilation flame burst
-Annihilation net
-Eyes of an Empire
Adaptions:
-Quick perception mind
-Annihilation Heart
-Clean bowels