I knew it would be one of those days where I would wake up with a homework sheet dancing in front of me.

Wait, homework sheets don’t dance, heck they don’t have brains!

“NATHEN, WHAT ARE YOU FLIPPING DOING!!!”

Uh? Homework has evolved. First we have them dancing and now talking and shouting.

What’s next? Homework sheets hand gliding? Now that would be cool…

“NATHEN, I’M TALKIN’ TO YOU!!!”

“Alright, chill paper. I’m bigger than you. I could crush you with my bare hands.”

“What did you say?”

I looked up to see a face looking down at me with a mean look. If looks could talk, this one would probably be saying …,”GET OUT OF THIS CLASSROOM IMMEDEANTLY!!!,” screamed Miss Andrew. Her face was burning with anger, lighting up that pale face of hers. Her nose stuck out like Pinocchio, except not an honest version. Her black hair was tied up in a bun. All miss Andrews clothes were green. She had a green skirt, green cardigan, green socks. I would not be surprised if she had a green bra. Why would anyone wear a green bra? Why was he even TALKING about bras ?

I trudged towards the door (no prises for guessing what colour it was). I opened it slowly and then slammed it hard. I turned around, then  she beckoned me inside and said ,”Go to the headmasters office.”

I shut the door and walked into the hall and turned to the direction opposite the heads office. No way am I going in there. I walked to the bathroom and sat there for the resthe afternoon, drinking about fifty grams each five minutes and waited. I must of drank two litres until I got up, walked towards the dining hall, got my pack lunch and eat that while playing around with a piece of string.

After what seemed like two lifetimes but was only two hours, the bell rang.

I headed towards my classroom and ran through the hall. I walked outside our classroom door.

“Nathen, take this envelope home,” Miss Andrew said sternly.

As I walked towards the bike shed, I heard a voice that said, ”Hey Nat, wait up.”

There are two people who call me Nat, and one of them wasn’t even in Britain, heck they on a different flipping continent.

“Hi, Samuel. What you doing.”

“Just getting’ out me friend from the bike shed.”

Uh?

“You hide your friends in a bike shed? Don’t they like, have to go to school? And wouldn’t they suffocate?”

“No,” chuckled Samuel,” I meant I am getting out my bike, which I spent a load of time with. Like a friend.”

Oh, um… Do you want to go to that football pitch? I heard they built a new bike trail and some bike ramp. Plus, we can practise our free ki…”

“Since when do I ever say no to that! Samuel, I thought you would know me by now!”

“ Have you got your boots, ball?” Asked Samuel.

“ My boots! I forgot them! By the way the ball is in the bag.”

I dashed towards the main hall and ran towards the changing room. I took them out of my secret hiding place(I can’t tell you where I hide them or it wouldn’t be secret).

I ran down the hall until I heard a screech that screeched” STOP. What are you doing here after school.”

I knew I would be in such big trouble if I was caught in here after school and without permission. I know you are thinking ‘why didn’t you ask then’ and after a certain incident  that happened last year, we are not allowed any type of shoes except from school shoes. So I just ran. I grabbed some tissues, wrapped them round my mouth like a bandana and ran out the main door.

“GO, GO, GO!!!” I screamed.

I jumped onto my bike and rode away as fast as I could. We managed to get away with it and we didn’t stop riding till we got four streets away. Then I stopped to take a breath and put my boots into my bag. Then from that we rode our bikes slowly and steadily until we got to them park.

“ What happened?” Samuel asked me.

“Som boy cagt e.”

I didn’t realise I had the tissue around my mouth till then. I ripped off the tissue and then said,

 “Somebody caught me.”

“Oh, right.”

Then a gang of shady looking teens who I’m guessing were exchanging unknown alien items looked at us.

“You want a match?” said the one who seemed to be  the leader of the gang.

Unauthorized use of content: if you find this story on Amazon, report the violation.

“Sure. We’ll wreck you. You will be sorry you ever asked us to have a match. Your name will be mud.”

“We’ll see,” he said. He flipped his hood of to show a cool looking cornrow. The others did the same.

We faced tough opponents till six where we said we would go.

“ What do you mean ‘go’. You beat us, you got a fight.”

So we ran as fast as possible onto our bikes and sped away. After a few minutes they were behind us on motor bikes.

“What do we do?” asked Samuel.

“ We are going to get you, and turn you into our dinner!!!” They screamed.

Uh? They eat humans? They really have a bad taste in food.

We headed  into some woods because it was a shortcut home and the gang would probably crash into the trees. We were right. After a few minutes, we had lost them.

“Let’s no go back to the park till the world ends, chips are actually blue, there is a new species of pizza and space turns into a massive ice cream. Hopefully they will be after ice cream for dinner,” I said when I got to my front door .

“Yeah, let’s never ever go there again,” said Samuel from his garden which was next to mine.

I walked into the house, and nobody was there. I check every room in he house, although I do not know why they would be in the bathroom at the same time. That would be gross.

I walked into the kitchen to get some thing to eat. I found a yellow note on the fridge, which said’ Gone to the store to get some food. Also gone get your brothers some new clothes. See you later, sweetie.’ With a smiley face at the bottom. Amazing, a smiley face. That changed everything, I’m not starving like a bear who had not seen a river in two years(Not).

I checked in the fridge just to check if this was one of those pranks where I would be filmed live on TV and they would  see my reaction. If that is true, my reaction would be to punch the camera.

There was nothing in the fridge. Except stuff that looked more like it belonged in the toilet than in the fridge.

So I just walked towards my room, opened the door and went to sleep.

I was too lazy to brush my teeth or even take off my shoes. Anyway, I already washed them in the morning and had not eat anything since then(I mean my mouth, not my shoes.)

Chapter two

I woke up (luckily not in class) and I did what I would normally. I took ten years opening my eyes and even longer to put my foot on the floor, one after the other. By the time I put on my blue uniform and tided up my collar, combed my hair and put gel on it, I had grown a beard and world war ten had just finished. I looked at the clock while heading to the door and then…

“FLIPPING HECK, IT EIGHT.”

“So what, not like it has never been eight before,” squeaked a little voice.

I yanked my closet open and guess what I found.

“MUUUUM, Nathen is strangling me.”

“Nathen, tahtee wered and natka megbee blah.”

In other words known as English, she said ‘Nathen get downstairs and eat your food.’

I  raced downstairs, dumping my brother’s head into the laundry basket and I’m not sure what happened to him after that, but he came down the stairs and into the kitchen with my underwear on his head.

He pulled out his chair and sat down.

“Take that off your head, Yb are.”

I thought he  would be a good time to go to school, looking at my watch. After all, the tables could turn easily.

I gobbled up my shreddies and professionally hurled the bowl into the sink. I dashed upstairs before this could happen.

FLASHBACK

I hurled my bowl into the sink.

“Grounded for two months.”

FORWARDSFLASH (or whatever you call it)

I brushed my teeth while reading MIDDLE SCHOOL worst years of my life. I then ran out the toilet, also hurling the book into Abel’s face, who had seemed to just woke up.

“HEY, YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

“Just did,” I said.

I ran out that door in record time, climbed over the tall gate to our garden, grabbed my bike and rode away like my life depended on it. Then again, it did, with them ground my mum makes, you never know if by the time your finally ungrounded, Minecraft is history.

I  rode down the street and turned, passing a sign that said, ‘the end is near’. That would be right if he didn’t   get to school quick enough. My brothers were lucky they were sick. I could see the school gates looming in the distance, getting closer and closer. I rode my bike to the school and into the bike shed. I put on the combination and ran out. I was about to get through the door when the bell rang. Kids started to run at him through the door. Why they were doing that instead of sitting in class was the eighth wonder of the world as far as I was concerned. Not that I care. I walked into class like it was normal to be late. Nobody was there. Miss Andrew turned around and said go out to play.

Uh?

“But I’m late, aren’t I?”

“Look at the time.”

Flipping heck, it was eight thirty.

I thought it was nine.

I walked outside as soon as the bell rang. Really?

I walked back inside and into the class room. I sat down and started to look out the window as she started to blab on about alligators or angels and all that. Why she bothered to teach I don’t know. As far as I know, teaching and numbers are essentially evil, like vegetables and golf. Which means should be avoided at all costs. Teaching is like trying to find out why the world is round, or why oranges are orange. Just pointless and a waste of time.

“Nathen, what is the answer?”

I looked up onto the board and saw some random shapes which looked like they would rather be anywhere else then on the board.

“What is the answer? A or B,” Miss Andrew repeated.

“A”

“Why?”

“Cause.”

“Cause what.”

“Cause that is the answer.”

Miss Andrew sighed. I looked at the table. She said,”Say what you see.”

“Table.”

“What?”

“I see a table.”

“Look up.”

I looked up.

“What do you see?”

“A angry teacher shouting at me.”

“OUT!!!”

I walked out the room with a small smile on my face. I would rather watch a documentary than listen to, judging by her clothes, a colour blind teacher talk about alligators or angles, whatever they were. In fact, I would rather watch a documentary in polish about watching a person watching paint dry while doing long division and crawling on glass than listen to her talk about alligators in math. Actually, thinking about it, Miss Andrews nose looks similar to an alligator's. Not that I care, heck I would not care if she was related to a toilet.

Chapter 3

I got home to find another angry woman glaring at me. 

"Nahom, anything to tell me?"

"You look angry."

"OF COURSE I AM, why do think I am angry?"

How am I supposed to know? I'm not you. I would not know if you liked to beatbox in your spare time!

"I am angry because I heard that you have been sent out twice his week. One in maths and one in HISTORY, HISTORY!" she repeated like a madman. Or in her case, mad girl. Anyway, it is her fault. Her talking bores us to death. I would rather listen to a pin drop. Not that I would want to hear a pin drop. Anyway, I would have to go and pick it up again, which would waste my energy. Which could be used for scoring goals. Or in my mum's case hitting a volleyball. What is the point of volleyball? All I see is a bunch of people whacking a ball into the air and jumping around on the ground like lunatics. No offence to volleyballers. 

"Right, that is it. You will come back everyday from school and hit the books, "she said. Uh? What is the point of hitting books. It is not like they will hit back. Two...

"WHAT! I WILL TURN INTO A BOOK MYSELF!!! No, that is a horrendous sight..."

FLASHFORWARD (or whatever you call it)...