Prometheus glanced at the ominous sky, the usual black hole always resting in the sky, unmoving.
Congratulations! For having utterly failed to win against a vastly superior enemy with tricks, you received a reward!
Mind +1
He snarled at the mockery.
Could have given me some trait or some bullshit power or whatever.
He tried creating some cells, a body structure, or anything at all, but the instant he did so, a cold chill spread on Theo's Core, killing off all cells that managed to form.
He recognized where the golem was walking toward, and it was the main clearing that the first part of the exam had taken part in. It seemed all the monsters had been cleared, except for Major Fuoco, Examiner Dripsworth, and the Turtle examiner with armor on its shell, and they seemed to be discussing among themselves over a round table raised from the ground, with different sized and shaped chairs to accommodate for the different body shapes.
The ice golem walked toward the table and dropped Theo on the table, rolling him to the jellyfish examiner. If Prometheus had hands now, he would have used them to cover his face. Unfortunately for him, he was just a ball.
A mental connection spell snapped in his mind, with all three monsters, four with Prometheus, present. The Major was the first one to break the silence.
"So, kid. How did your "solitary escape" go? If my old memory isn't playing tricks on me, you said you didn't need anyone to escape your predicament, correct?"
Prometheus stayed silent. He had nothing to say.
"That's what I thought. Being cocky is a normal trait for youngsters like yourself, but when it gets to the extent that you actively refuse help when you're in grave danger will get you killed on the battlefield where most enemies are stronger than you. Have I made myself clear?"
Once again, the shapeshifter stayed silent.
The massive snake coiled his tail around Prometheus' Core and brought him up to eye level while emitting smoke through his nostrils.
"I'm not gonna repeat myself, especially not for some arrogant brat. Did I make myself clear?" He started constricting the Core with his tail, which didn't budge even slightly.
"Oh? What do we have here? The little brat is actually tougher than he seems, at least externally."
He dropped Prometheus and rolled him toward Examiner Dripsworth.
"Dripsworth, please make sure he finishes his affinity test so we can commence on the true qualifications exam. Oh also, provide him with organic mass so he can return to his true form,"
"As you wish, your Scaled Majesty." The jellyfish examiner bowed exaggeratedly and brought Prometheus to a large cage full of rats to the edge of the clearing. The examiner pointed his tentacle and a thin jet of water flew in the direction of a rat's head, perforated it, and changed trajectory mid-air to hit another rat and so on. In the span of half a second hundreds of rats had died.
Theo got thrown on the pile of bodies, slowly absorbing all the biomass. After stockpiling around half a ton of biomass, he took the shape of a Baryonyx, similar to the one he took after raiding that bandit outpost some time ago.
He slowly walked over to examiner Dripsworth positioned himself in front of the testing equipment and placed his clawed hand on the rod, knowing the drill from having seen it so often.
"Why so silent all of a sudden? You used to talk enough to dry me up!"
Prometheus didn't respond. His mind was empty.
The examiner hummed curiously and instructed him on how to perform the affinity test. Sensing his soul and moving some 'energy' through the metal rod was easier than he expected, and it came naturally to him. At first, nothing happened. When the Examiner produced some water droplets, his own energy seemed to copy the drops and replicate them in a mirrored style. Not every drop was mirrored perfectly, but it wasn't noticeable at first sight.
"Quite peculiar, yes." Mused the jellyfish on its own.
The tests continued with Dripsworth creating various effects and Prometheus' 'energy' replicating those effects, although imperfectly. These ranged from pebbles moving around, small air currents, and even electrical shocks.
He was almost surprised to see himself doing literal magic, but currently, he couldn't manage to feel anything.
"I think I have narrowed down your affinity, but I'll have to consult the Major about it. You are dismissed, shoo away." said the examiner while shooing him away with a tentacle.
Prometheus glanced towards the massive snake, not knowing where to go. The Major pointed with his tail toward a massive and cubical building on the edge of the clearing, where many monsters were standing in. He went over to the entrance, which had various-sized doors for differently-sized creatures, and looked around. He could now properly focus on the true variety of monsters present, which astounded him. He divided them into roughly 3 groups, the humanoids, meaning anything walking on two legs, dexterous hands, and erect standing position such as goblins, orcs, and massive, grey four-meter tall hunching monsters. The second group was the 'animals-like' one which were all the monsters that resembled animals present or extinct on Earth. There was an armadillo with retractable spikes on his shell and even a crustacean-looking monster with glowing claws.
He could feel electric charges gather in the air at the thought of Earth animals, so he dismissed it. The last group included anything that couldn't be included in the other two groups, such as that purple blob he slammed down or various monsters with irregular shapes and too many limbs or body parts. One of those looked like a floating, spherical creature with mouths covering the entirety of its surface.
I would love to study the biology of something like that, thought Prometheus absent-mindedly. When he entered the building, the various entrances sealed shut, and torches lining the upper part of the walls close to the ceiling appeared out of thin air. A massive wooden gate at the back of the building, identical to the one Theo had tried open earlier, suddenly swung wide open, and unsurprisingly, Major Fuoco slithered in. After seemingly counting the number of monsters present to verify the presence of all 512, he created a massive mental connection spell, one much more complex than what he had used to simply convey information. Prometheus could finally sense the energy gathering around in weird and esoteric ways to form the spell, so he studied it closely in detail and saved it in his memory.
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"Welcome back everyone, now the true exams will start. A simple cognitive test will soon appear in your mind, and you have to answer with a thought. To pass, fifty percent will be enough. After this one, you will join Examiner Rocktooth in the physical test. Any questions?" Major Fuoco then looked around the monster group expectantly and nodded when no one had any questions. The Examiner from earlier, the one whom Theo called Hedgeraptor and with a strange mechanical device on its back, came up to the Major and stood by his side, looking around seriously. If Prometheus were to guess, the Examiner was an enlarged utahraptor with rocky, hedgehog-like spikes coming from its back. The device seemed designed to accommodate the creature's strange back. Then, Major Fuoco continued through the mental spell, "You should now be receiving your exams. They are unique so don't even bother cheating. Asking for help, which is completely monitored and we will see immediately when it happens, will result in you getting disqualified. Good luck, young ones."
Prometheus noticed a dense packet of energy travel toward each one of the monsters, and his came in the form of binary code, or in other terms the language he was most intimate and familiar with. The test was made of twenty questions, so answering ten would be enough. I need to pass every question in a stellar way, I won't accept any less from my last failure. He started with the first question. It simply asked to count several circles in an image, probably to see which monsters couldn't even count. The next questions were of a similar level, such as discerning a plant and an animal, or which one was heavier between a massive rock or a massive tree. What is this crap? I thought we had to test our cognitive skills, not check who doesn't have a brain. He rushed through the questions with barely any effort on his part until the twelfth one. The eleventh one was a simple question about which situation was more dangerous between a big fall and being bitten by an incredibly venomous insect.
The next one showed a basic equation, which albeit easy for him, was still a massive jump in difficulty from the previous questions when none of them had any math involved. He continued, and each subsequent question rose exponentially in difficulty, with the fifteenth question being about differential equations. The next four were about complex theorems in algebra and calculus, which he had to put a small amount of effort into. The last one was a question that simply asked, "How does everything work?" He blinked a couple of times, the question slowly registering in his mind. What is that supposed to mean? Are they asking me to explain the workings of the universe?
Whatever, I'll just do the simplest interpretation. Theo then proceeded to explain the basics of quantum mechanics, some chemistry, and a summary of all the math involved. He didn't feel like exposing his complete knowledge of the sciences was a smart idea, so he kept himself to a minimum.
He 'nodded' mentally, giving the intention that he was done with the exam. He could see a large chunk of energy travel through the mental connection toward the Major. The latter forked a scaly eyebrow made of fire upward and glanced at him. He seemed to sigh and resume what he was doing previously. With the free time he then moved around trying to find his friends and... Did I just call them friends? He shook his head and glanced around the room, monsters occupying every corner. He was taller than most monsters here thanks to his baryonix form, but some were still obstructing his sight. He shifted his forelegs and legs to be able to better climb the rocky walls, which he did with some effort and genetic tweaking of his weight distribution.
He slowly climbed the wall, which allowed him to look around the room. The Major briefly glanced at him before giving up and moving his attention away. Examiner Rocktooth pierced him with one side-eye while baring his teeth in his direction. A mental connection spell from the Examiner snapped into his mind and a furious voice boomed, "HEY! GET BACK DOWN HERE AND STOP EMBARRASSING OUR SPECIES!"
He ignored the warning and continued climbing up toward the ceiling, continuously looking around.
He could see the Examiner snarl and get into a pouncing position, confusing Theo.
Huh? He is hundreds of meters away. Is he just gonna jump here?
Then, a crash sounded to his right, coupled with a massive dust explosion. His sight was completely covered, but the myriad of other senses he had still worked, including his Soul-sense. None of those could have let him predict the clawed leg wrapping around his neck and slamming him against the wall. "DO I NEED TO FUCKING KILL YOU TO HAVE YOU FOLLOW ORDERS EVEN A TODDLER WOULD FIND SIMPLE??" He was then thrown on the ground at scary speeds, which created a boom that reverberated throughout the building, echoing back many times. His bones were broken, his flesh was torn and his ego was shattered. He looked like a freak accident or a sample at a medical school.
He started regenerating his wounds, which from the outside looked like his body was getting inflated from the inside. If he had any sensation of physical pain, the procedure would have made even the toughest of men scream, but thankfully pain wasn't programmed in his body. He slowly got up to see the Examiner looking down at him and turning around to glance at the Major, who was sternly looking at the Hedgeraptor. The saurid nodded and flashed back to its initial position, next to the flaming snake. So weak... I get beaten by everyone... Theo then walked down a drooping head, finally finding his friends in a remote corner opposite from the one he was at. Zilch spotted him first, who wormed his way up to him. Buzzelina hovered just behind the scout and the three hobgoblins snarled at him and walked away.
What's the deal with them?
He focused on Zilch, which started, "A-are you alright, sir? We saw you get carried in another building when you tiered up. Are you hurt?"
Theo shook his head and replied, "Stop with the sir, just call me Prometheus, or Theo like the Major said. I'm alright, completely fine. Couldn't be better. What about you?"
The worm lowered its head, moved it to the side, and replied, "We are. The goblins hate your guts, though. I don't believe they are our allies anymore, and we can't force them currently. I just finished with 10 points, the minimum to pass, thankfully. Buzzelina is your pet, so apparently she wasn't included as long as you passed." He glanced toward his pet and then petted her softly. The wasp queen buzzed quietly in response.
He nodded, satisfied. "Well done. I need to rest, so wake me up when the physicals start."
The scout started saying something else, but Theo didn't listen to it as he was already dozing off and going into standby mode.
---
Prometheus woke up to a worm pushing its head on his side trying to wake him up, which he found annoying. He got up and stretched his dinosaur limbs, looking around the room. Almost a third of monsters aren't here anymore. My logs tell me a bit over half an hour passed. For such a short test, these fools took a long tim-. The memory of the last few interactions in which he utterly lost surfaced in his mind. What am I even talking about? He dropped his head and sat back down.
"Have the physicals started yet?" He asked his frien- His subordinate.
"They are finishing the cognitive one. It should start anytime now."
He glanced toward the flaming snake, which was looking around in front of him, probably looking at a mental screen like the one the Hacker implanted into him. The reptile often nodded, others he smirked and more rarely bore a shocked expression. He finally nodded with a note of finality and announced that the physicals would start soon.
"Follow Examiner Rocktooth for the physical exam, he will tell you how to proceed from then on. Good luck." He then went outside and flew off into the sky, somewhere." Examiner Rocktooth stepped up and straightened his back and put his small dinosaur hands behind his back.
That looks so adorable. I wish he wasn't an angry general.
The saurid then created a mental connection spell encompassing every monster present and started loudly, "GET OUTSIDE YOU USELESS MAGGOTS! THE LAST ONE TO GET OUT GETS THEIR ASSHOLE TURNED INSIDE OUT!"
A few monsters walked out, but most remained, looking at each other, some even snickering.
Uh-oh. He looks angry. We should get out.
He gestured for Zilch and Buzzelina to follow him, which they did silently. He turned just in time to see the examiner appear in front of the monster that snickered. It was a bipedal bear-looking monster, around 2 meters tall, so around the Examiner's height.
The smile on the bear monster faltered for a second, but it simply swiped at the Examiner with its clawed paw. The examiner didn't even bother dodging the strike, he let it hit him. The claws scraping against the Examiner bounced off like they hit stone. The next moment, the bear monster became one-armed, with Rocktooth having bloody teeth.
I couldn't even see what happened!
Prometheus and the others got out in time to hear roars and other similar sounds. They went toward the center of the clearing where they assumed the physical exam would happen. Many monsters joined them in the meanwhile
Around ten minutes later, the Examiner joined the group and positioned himself at the front of the group. He glanced at his back and closed his reptilian eyes.
What's this sound?
Prometheus could hear a swooshing sound, like a projectile cutting through the air. He glanced up. A massive boulder was quickly falling toward the area at the back of the Examiner. Most monsters realized too late and started moving too late. It must weigh at least two tonnes, likely higher.
The boulder stopped immediately upon hitting the ground, creating surprisingly no tremors or vibrations. Theo opened his eyes widely. Another three boulders fell in the same way, each one becoming smaller than the rest. The smallest must have weighed around two hundred kilograms.
The Examiner looked at the group and ordered, "To pass you have to move one of those boulders. Your rotting brains might think, 'Oh, why do the bigger boulders exist if I can pass with the small one?' If you asked that question, you're worth less than the ground we stand on. At least the GROUND IS USEFUL TO THE ARMY! Anyway, the bigger the boulder you choose to move,the less distance you'll have to make it travel. Is that clear, you shit-for-brains?"
They all nodded.
"Very well. Who wants to start?"
Prometheus slowly walked toward the biggest boulder, using his whole Baryonyx body to push. The muscles in his legs tore from the effort, and he repaired them as they broke. He increased the energy consumption of his cells a lot, but the boulder didn't want to budge at all. The examiner slowly shook his head.
What's this supposed to mean?? Is my life only made of failures??
Theo snarled and pushed even more. His bones were breaking, his tendons ruptured and steam exited his skin pores. He shifted his bones into extremely inflexible steel-like columns and made his muscles stronger in exchange for mobility. He was sweeping the ground with his tail to gather as much biomass as possible, to reinforce even more. The boulder seemed to finally relent, which started with a small budge, that then escalated into a meter-long roll.
He fell to the ground, allowing his cells to cool down.
"You passed. Next one"
Both Zilch and Buzzelina went for the smallest boulder, which they had to move for hundreds of meters. It seemed that Zilch's Earth-softening trait seemed to work a bit on rocks too, so that made it easier for him. The examiner didn't seem to care. Buzzelina surprisingly carried the boulder with relative ease and dropped it off at the destination.
What? Isn't she a tier-one monster? Just being able to move hundreds of kilograms is impressive, but doing so as a small and flying insect? Common sense would tell me that it's impossible, but that's useless here. Maybe I just underestimated her.
Most monsters finished the exam successfully, with around three hundred monsters remaining.
"Well done, you useless shitbags. You'll go to Examiner Brown now for the last exam. Good luck you useless things, will need it."