Getting a distraught armorer to settle down, especially when that armorer is far more physically imposing than you are, was more challenging than I expected. Said armorer’s mother could have helped, but she was too amused to step in and ruin the show, even after several minutes of her daughter openly weeping as she squished two mortals against herself.

“Yules, we’ll be fine. That’s just a worst case scenario, really,” I reassured the young demoness again, patting her shoulder.

Yules just squeezed harder.

I looked over at Mia, but she couldn’t contribute. She was far too busy freaking out over such an overt display of affection. Her hands hovered over the crying demoness awkwardly, and she looked about as ready to handle the issue as she was to tackle a Primordial.

Sighing, I just kept petting Yules on the shoulder until she slowly began to calm down.

“I didn’t notice at first, but the two of you really did push a bit too far, didn’t you?” Tibath chimed in, almost restarting her daughter’s emotional outburst just as it was sputtering out.

I very carefully didn’t shoot her an annoyed look, and smothered any negative emotions she might pick up on.

“We had to,” was all I said, Mia nodding along.

Tibath shrugged. “In that case, I can only say it’s a good thing you have each other, and other friends besides. It’s not easy handling the influx of Abyssal energies, even when going through a standard ascension. So, focus on everything you hold dear. All your desires and ambitions, too. I don’t think either of you are leaning towards an Emotion that would feed off those negatively, so they will only help.”

I shot her an inquisitive look.

“Well, Mia here feels… let’s say, bristly.” Tibath pointed at the cat girl, who stiffened beside me. “And you? I can barely feel your other emotions around that pit of negativity in your chest. So, you need stuff to balance that. Affection, bonds, long-term goals, that sort of thing.”

“Sometimes, I almost wish I just ascended when I could.” It felt good to admit that, even if I winced immediately after.

The demoness shrugged. “You made your choices.” She didn’t sound like she disapproved or was chastising me, just stating a fact. “Besides, even regular ascension is only mostly safe.”

I knew that, of course. Even during a normal ascension, if a demon was disturbed, they could easily lose control of the process. A wound, emotional manipulation, or just breaking their concentration could derail their ascension.

Of course, the worst result in that scenario would be turning into an imp, a creature even lower on the Abyssal totem pole than the least of demons. It wasn’t great, but there was hope of clawing one’s way back up from that.

Glaustro’s warnings had made it clear that failure would be far less pleasant for me and Mia.

“We’ll do our best, and we’ll be fine,” Mia said, finally overcoming her discomfort enough to speak.

Yules raised her tear-filled gaze to meet the cat girl’s black and gold orbs.

“You’re not allowed to die. I can’t give you the armor if you die,” she declared, with all the gravitas of a demon at the top of the Abyssal food chain.

It was enough to make me smile. “On that note, mind letting me go for a second?”

She did, though reluctantly, which let me unload the truly ridiculous amount of Lagyel materials Mia and I had managed to gather in my dimensional pouch. Both mother and daughter stared wide-eyed at this sudden presentation of wealth.

“Do you mind if we leave this with you? I know it’s way more than what you’d need for our armor, or for the payment, but…” I paused, choosing my words carefully. “Well, if something does happen to us, we’d like the two of you to have all of this.”

Mia nodded, of course. We had discussed this before leaving Torment. We even had wills drafted up. Most of our stuff would go directly to Glaustro and Bronwynn, but they weren’t the only friends we had.

They were just… half.

Sure, Mia and I were both much closer to Yules than to her mother, but Tibath did willingly help me the first time we met by introducing me to her daughter. She also tolerated us hanging out in her store for hours on end, and had even rustled up refreshments on more than one occasion.

Not a whole ton of kindness, some might say. But we were in the Abyss. Most demons, even the ones who weren’t complete assholes, only ever looked out for themselves. Tibath and Yules were both special, and they both deserved our gratitude.

Once they had received the materials, though, we couldn’t linger to chat. We had ticked off the final item on our to-do list, which meant we had no more reasons left to delay.

It was time to ascend.

—

Glaustro didn’t want us tackling our ascension alone, but he was also entirely unsure how to guarantee our security through the process. So, after a few final goodbyes in case everything went pear-shaped, Mia and I strolled into the oh-so-loving embrace of the Absorption Station.

The second I crossed the threshold, everything fell away. The sound of wind, the chatter of passing demons, even the all-pervasive sense of discomfort that the layer of Torment imposed on its inhabitants vanished. Mia was gone too, separated into her own instance of the station.

All that remained was the station’s opaque, softly glowing dome, the darkness that lurked beyond it, and the torture chair located smack dab in the middle of it.

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Well, I say ‘torture chair’, but only because using it was horrifically and uniquely painful. A more apt comparison would be an operating table with countless arm-like strands hovering around it, all ending in scalpels, tongs, pincers, and various other medical-type instruments.

Most visitors to the station were mortal soldiers of the Abyss trying to absorb souls. The process was nothing short of soul surgery, and it was excruciating. Thankfully, I was not there to engage in that particular brand of torture.

I was just going to bind myself permanently to the Abyss by fundamentally transforming into one of its creatures.

No biggie.

I proceeded with the final preparations, stripping off my armor and clothing until I was left only in my undies. There was no one there to witness me other than the Abyss itself, but for some reason, I still refused to remove those.

In all honesty, even with my recent bouts of depression, I looked amazing. I was fit like never before, with clear outlines of muscles all over my frame. My skin was a light blue color. Darker spots covered my limbs up to my elbows and knees. Wicked claws extended from my fingers and toes on command.

The only two things I had left from my days as a pure human were my hair, which was reassuringly brown, and the general shape of my features. Every individual feature showed signs of transformation. My teeth were razor-sharp points. My tongue was now snake-like and frustratingly long, making it my least favorite change.

Even my eyes were different. I had recently been shocked to notice they had gone slitted and acquired some new colors. My sclera was now a dark blue, and my snake-like iris a molten gold to match Mia’s. At least these changes explained why I was able to see in the dark and with unusual clarity for a mortal.

Taken all together, it was a little overwhelming. But I couldn’t complain. Every change was worth it.

Because I also had wings sprouting from my back.

My wings were not something I could ever bring myself to regret. The freedom of flight was a heady thing. Besides, the wings themselves were gorgeous. They were a beautiful shade of black, reminiscent of a night sky. Whenever light hit them, a red sheen danced over the black, adding a hint of mystique.

Every single feather was its own work of art. A striking azure line ran along the rachis, or spine. On either side of the line sprouted two symmetrical hills, forming a somewhat squished circle at the center of each feather.

My wings were perfect, and more importantly, they were mine. My escape into the sky, where wind rustled and swirled through them with each beat, lifting me above the world and its suffering.

Mia was also a huge fan of my wings, even if only for their downy softness. She had an annoying habit of curling up on them and going to sleep…

With a bit of a smile, I took a deep breath and started fetching souls, piling them onto the chair.

Technically, I could have tried to ascend then and there. However, I could feel I had a few more changes to milk out of the process. The markings on my arms and legs only confirmed it. Those circular patches of darker color were slightly raised, like they were on the verge of transforming into something.

Just to be safe, I had consulted Glaustro. He’d scowled at me, but he also approved my plan. Since I intended to ascend immediately after performing my final sacrifice to the Abyss, a few more moments of risk wouldn’t change much.

Once I had gathered two thousand souls, I climbed onto the chair, curling myself around the pile. Holding on as best I could, I kicked off the process.

The souls were immediately gripped by the power of the plane I was binding myself to. They began to melt, vanishing into my skin as the Abyss slurped them up. Then a wash of power came gushing forth from the Abyss, surging along the tether that connected me to it.

I had to grit my teeth and squeeze my eyes shut at the agony that ripped through my being. It pervaded every inch of me, stretching and searching for new changes to make. A large chunk of power seeped into my muscles, my bones, and my skin. Part of it got trapped within my brain, enhancing and nourishing it. All the leftover power went straight to my soul, transforming it into something more. Something eternal.

Then the Abyssal emotions I was always struggling to keep in check rose up. They lapped eagerly at this power, trying to steal it away, desperate to feed on it themselves. My control of them almost slipped. Another moment, and they would be too strong for me. They would consume my mind, devouring my sanity and my memories and my very sense of self…

Time’s up.

I wasn’t sure if it was Glaustro’s voice in my head, or Bronwynn’s, or Mia’s. Maybe a combination of all three. Regardless, my mind responded automatically.

With my last thread of strength, I reached out to the Abyss. Finally, irrevocably, I made the plea for it to accept me.

I was not prepared for what came next.

All of a sudden, I was keenly aware of the final barrier still separating me from the Abyss. A thin, yet oddly robust barrier, fueled by my own soul and struggling to put up a fight against this invading foe that trivialized its power.

Then the connection tying the demonic plane to my soul was torn wide open, and all resistance collapsed.

The Abyss poured itself into me, claiming me, changing me, declaring me its own. The tide of red and black mana swallowed up every bit of me. There was nothing I could do to stop it, even if I wanted to.

Instantly, I had a much deeper instinctual understanding of the Abyss’s essence. The red, glowing power brought nourishment and growth. It was practically harmless to me, a perfectly pure and benign source of strength.

The darkness that tinged it was a different story.

The Abyss was the plane of Emotion. Every single feeling, every single experience of countless mortal and immortal minds, all eventually pooled within this plane. It was the origin and the final destination of what it meant to feel, to experience the world around me fully without being left to the merciless apathy of reason.

But so many emotions did not make for a very balanced existence. Nor were creatures of the Abyss capable of refusing to accept Emotion.

The Abyss was showing me the totality of what it was, and it didn’t care whether or not my puny mortal mind could withstand the eldritch knowledge.

No. I need to focus. I need to… reach out…

I could barely force my thoughts to form as I swam in the soup of Abyssal Emotion, experiencing everything all at once. Joy lifted me up. Anguish tore me apart. Lust drove me mad. Torment reduced me to mere whimpers. On an on it went, and I made the same realization as every ascendant being before me.

I needed a shield.

I needed a single Emotion to cling to, something to anchor my mind, soul, and sense of self. Desperately, I reached out to the sea of Emotions, ready to take whatever would have me.

And I was refused at every turn.

Joy scoffed and turned away. Passion, so recently experienced, swirled around me but refused to be caught. The same happened with Determination, Longing, and Compassion. Even Lust, when I got desperate. None of them wanted me.

Because as much as I tried to deny it, I was already claimed.

There was a primary Emotion lurking within my soul. It had been there, beckoning to me, ever since I made my mistake of pushing too far. One Emotion that fit me, that stained me, that stood for all I had always carried hidden in the depths of my mind.

I had refused to name it, or even acknowledge its true nature. I had known then, as I did now, that to do so would be to seal my fate.

But now, I didn’t have any more time to tarry or argue. My mind was beginning to unravel, my thoughts growing ever more sluggish.

After one final moment of hesitation, I resolved myself and dove in, deep down into the pit of darkness I had denied so long.

I wasn’t lucky enough to have a simple Emotion cling to me. It wasn’t just Sadness, or Despair, or even something like Sloth. No, reaching out with its blackened tendrils to welcome me into its embrace, my Emotion swallowed up everything that belonged to me, subsuming it under a mire I wasn’t sure I could ever escape.

It was the darkness of Woe that took me for its own.