The man didn't say anything to Ivy.

He silently summoned a ship to come pick them up. A ship that offloaded a tour guide and a group of rich tourists, dressing up as if that would somehow make them not stick out like sore thumbs in a human society.

Truth was, most people on Earth didn't want to notice. They'd assume it was a costume. A bunch of kids messing around, or a stunt for a movie, or anything but the truth. People, the universe over, like the peace of what they know.

Ivy was tempted to try and sneak off after the tourists, but the stubborn man never left her side. She was growing more and more angry with him, because he just didn't seem to be know how to be... A person.

People might not always have a set of feelings, but people always try to treat you as a person, too. He wasn't just rude, he was utterly horrible. She survived a freak accident, one that should have killed her, and he just expected her to dust off and keep going?

It wasn't even an accident, it was attempted murder!

Someone tried to kill her, and his first priority was to get her back onboard, so she could be cleaning up after the freak who did this to her!

The craft jostled lightly as it took off, the two of them standing by the wall and holding onto a railing. She glared at the man, "What's your name?"

"No."

"I want to report you! Give me your name!" Ivy snapped.

"No."

She very nearly let out an angry hiss. He had a way of instantly getting under her skin. Maybe it was the darn helmet. His face couldn't be as expressionless as all of this. A furrowed brow, a twitch. Any of that would be better than a blank nothing.

"Fine, Mr. No. Who do you report to?"

"I am an Autonomous Security and Wellbeing Unit."

She frowned, "Security? So you report to... Jameson? Was that their name?"

"I am an Autonomous Security and Wellbeing Unit."

"You certainly didn't take care of my wellbeing when you knocked me in the pool!"

"I will review the cameras. If I really did such a thing, you will be compensated."

"Just apologise! You're like a toddler! Can't admit anything. Refuses to tell their name. Are you six years old!?"

"No."

She rolled her eyes and gave up. "Just so you know, I hate you."

"I am sorry to hear that." He replied evenly.

She was tempted to jump on the word usage, about him feeling a damn thing let alone sorry about anything, but opted instead to ignore him.

*****

When the smaller craft docked back with the cruiseliner, there was a man in a blue uniform, with a black skirt, waiting to take her to Management.

The rude Mr. No left without another word. Never so much as looking in her direction as he walked off to ruin someone else's day. Though, knowing her luck, he would be the perfect picture of politeness to the next person. He'd just have a problem with her.

The blue uniformed officer took her to a group of offices near the helm, and instructed her to take a seat like she was a naughty child. She did, but not because she was about to brush this whole thing under a bush.

She crossed her arms, leaves rubbing on her sunburnt skin, and put on her most furious of faces.

It had been easy to get angry at Mr. No.

Fronting her actual bosses that could expel her home at a moment's notice? Not so much.

She'd never actually met the real people in charge. She was just a maid. She was here to scrub the deck, clean the rooms, and mostly be an invisible little house vacuum puttering about the place. She wasn't supposed to be noticeable.

All important people have secretaries. In this case, a secretary who appeared to be an almost melting bubble of blue skin, with eight coiling tentacles that were in constant motion around them.

"Commander Amir will see you now."

Ivy stood up, took a very deep breath as the secretary reached over and opened the door from across the room. Ivy very demurely entered the office. An actual military commander, titled rank, was about to chastise her.

Getting in early seemed the wrong way to go about it, so Ivy walked in front of the desk, spaced her feet apart, and put her hands behind her back.

Amir was sitting back in his seat, with two crossed feet up on the corner of the desk, and her personnel file open and in front of him. His brows were practically knitting together, as he murmured away unintelligibly to himself.

One claw tapped at the bottom of his chin, and the other on the piece of paper.

Seeing a crab species was always difficult for Ivy. The creatures were always so fascinating! They had independently evolved seven times on her homeworld, and that wasn't even a record. Sapient crabs were rarer, of course, but he could be from just about any planet.

There were some scientists that reasoned the crab was the most efficient species, and that was the reason that they always seemed to evolve everywhere. Some theologians posited that this meant the gods must be crabs, too. So life evolved in the image of the deity.

Other theologians, of course, suggested this meant crabs were dark, disgusting things. They were born as a result of sin in the world. Evidence of the corruption that had bled through and into everything.

Ivy could very easily write a whole book on the subject, without even learning anything new.

"Name? Pronouns?" He grumbled.

"Ivy Green. She and her." She replied stiffly, "Sir."

"Commander will do. Not sir. Now... What is this about you sneaking onworld?"

Her jaw dropped, "A guest punted me through the field! They tried to kill me! Trying to get onto the planet by jumping without a booster or a parachute is -"

She cut off, and rolled her jaw, staring in a rather insulted comprehension.

The crablike gave a small laugh, a burbling pop, and looked at her with one of his eyes, as the others continued to read the paperwork in front of him.

She glared, "That's not funny. I almost died."

"Yes, yes you did." He leaned back into the chair, all eyes rolling around to focus on her, and he tapped his chin with one of his clawed hands. "According to this, you're on our most basic insurance scheme. Does that sound right?"

"Yes, sir." She mumbled glumly.

"Yes, commander."

She blinked, "You really don't like 'sir'? Okay. Um. I'll try harder to use the other term, commander."

He gave a small and firm nod, "Good. Under the most basic insurance scheme, you have qualified for both compensation for if a guest attempts to eat you, and if a guest attempts to murder you. The lawyers are still arguing if your family qualifies for if a guest tried to remove evidence. They'll probably still be going by the time we get back."

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"Oh. Okay, commander?" Ivy wasn't sure what any of that meant. A little extra cash to spend planetside would be nice. She might not wear clothing at home, but getting a human dress that fit would probably be a lot of fun.

The man gave what she thought might be a grimace, but she really couldn't tell with a crab mouth.

"Miss Ivy Green, you have been assaulted by a guest, in the performance of your duties. As the chosen representative of Duffle & Hurley, may I offer my most sincere of apologies, compensation payment in line with the contract you have signed, and a transfer of cabin to one within the midship crew quarters."

She frowned, "That... Sounds good?"

"Excellent. Sign here." He pushed a piece of paperwork towards her.

Ivy barely checked to see if the words mostly lined up with what he said, before inking some green sap at the place where a signature was expected, and then stamping it with one of her leaves.

The commander pulled the paper back, and put it aside to let it set solid, before smiling up at her, "Now then, would you like to see the midship quarters? You have the rest of the day off, for trauma, but I must ask that you remain aboard the ship - at least until we have isolated the guest responsible for this tragedy."

"Why bother? Not like he's going to get punished." Ivy rolled her eyes.

"They. Not a gendered species." The commander corrected her.

"They are a dick who tried to eat me, so I feel like I have a right to call them a twatwuffle." She re-found a little of her confidence.

The man laughed as he stood up, walking by her and opening the office door, "You are entirely correct. Which is why we'll be making sure the two of you are never on the same deck, again. Once we find where in the black hole they've hidden themselves."

She took the hint, smiling weakly, and leaving the room.

The many-tentacled secretary rolled an eye over her purple form to look towards Ivy, "Anything I can help you with, dear? Call someone to help you move to a new cabin?"

"Actually... Maybe." An idea sparked. "If it's possible... There's two people I'd prefer to help? If one of those is allowed."

"Go ahead, doll."

"He wouldn't tell me his name. Just said he was an Autonomous Security and Wellbeing Unit. Idiot in a black helmet." Ivy growled, and then softened, "But if not him... Maybe Desdemona? She's a maid working in the engines."

"Ah, Desdemona. She's a beautiful thing, and so very angry." The secretary laughed, "Tell you what. I'll get both Desdemona and No sent straight to you."

Ivy went scarlet red, "His name actually is 'No'? He was telling it to me, when I yelled at him?"

"No can be a little difficult. He is the foremost of out security. I'm afraid he sees the worst of the guests, all the time. It rubs off a little on him, and makes him ragged around the edges." The secretary smiled, and then indicated a seat, "Please wait, whilst I fetch your escorts."

*****

"Well I be a squicked monkey." Desdemona stated as she arrived, tailed closely by the silent Mr. No.

Ivy gave a sheepish smile, "It's... Good to see you, too."

"Moving up midships, eh?" The red-skinned woman laughed, "Well, come. Grabbed soil from your rack, it's in backpack. Oh, and... Security guy want come, too?"

She gave a small sigh and hooked her arm through the other maid's. "Well, that was nice of you. I do like to keep my soil, but I did only have one night in it. That guy, his name is No. And I may have got angry when he said that, and threatened to report him. He probably hates me."

"No."

The two looked at the impassive figure walking alongside them. Desdemona grinned, "Oh. Ivy is hard of the hate, ain't it she? Wonderful lady."

He said nothing, and didn't so much as turn his head from the path ahead. It was extremely hard to know what he was thinking. There was every chance he utterly despised her, after her childish behaviour on learning his name... But it was only because she thought he was being rude!

"I'm sorry if I offended you." Ivy said quietly, "That's why I wanted you to help me move. Not to be mean. So I could say sorry."

He paused, and the three stopped walking, "If that is the case, are my duties here complete?"

Ivy's eyes watered and she threatened to cry. "If... If you don't want to help, you don't have to. Isn't it a nice break from security...?"

"I will return to my duties." He replied, before turning and walking away into the crowds.

Desdemona squeezed her arm, "Now that be enigma."

"I think he hates me." Ivy sighed and kicked at the deck, "I... I shouldn't care about it. Only just met him. But I'm a plant. Having anyone hate you is... That's how you get tangled up in weeds, crushed and lifeless. Everyone always has to grow together."

"He don't strike as weed." The woman replied lightly, and tugged her back into following along towards the new cabin.

Ivy tried to shake it off, by proposing why she'd asked for Desdemona. "So, I've got a fancy new cabin, and everything."

"Indeed."

"It's going to be bigger than the one we were sharing."

The woman nodded, with a hint of disappointment. "That it be. Midships be where the bosses sleep. All officers. It be a very comforting bed. Can soil be better? Can it go on bed, or still hammock?"

"I actually usually prefer a big pot." She said sheepishly, "One the size of a small bed? Then I can be half-in, half-out, of the soil. Warm and cold at the same time. It actually feels really nice."

The woman shuddered, "I prefer sleep in fire. Homeworld is all flames. Can bed anywhere the lava breaks the surface. Delightful."

Ivy's leaves crinkled at the thought. "I... Don't think I'll be visiting your homeworld, anytime soon. No offence meant."

"It next stop." Desdemona blinked.

Ivy's mouth fell open, "Oh no. Oh, please. You're actually from this galaxy? How...? I thought... Fires. You were born in fire, so living somewhere like Venus, isn't impossible. Desirable, even."

"You know Venus?" Desdemona stared in surprise.

She shrugged, "Only a passing knowledge. Not much more than a guidebook. Thick atmosphere, making it have a runaway greenhouse effect. Mostly carbon dioxide? Crazy hot temperatures."

"So nice. Pleasant days." The red-skinned woman grinned.

"Gravity is what... Ninety times that of Earth? If I didn't wilt, I'd be flattened."

Desdemona nodded, "Gravity in other worlds be so light. It makes me have to work hard to maintain abs."

"You're still crazy strong to me." Ivy shivered at the muscled woman.

Before the conversation could reach levels of awkward, they reached the cabins, and Desdemona led her to a particular one, cabin 17Q. Ivy waved her hand at the scanner, and the door flushed open with a rush of wind.

A cool and calm voice spoke, "`Welcome, Mistress Green.`"

"No be doin'." Desdemona gasped.

Ivy walked in slowly, and her friend put the bag up against one of the walls, as she turned about in wonder.

Firstly, because Desdemona could turn around idly without a hint of a chance of walking into Ivy. The room was absolutely enormous. Then there was the fact it had an actual window up against one of the walls.

A window that Ivy ran up to, peering out at the sunlight outside. She could actually eat breakfast here, instead of having to risk another guest trying to murder her for existing and look delicious.

Ivy frowned, remembering the greeting, and spoke awkwardly, "So... That was just a welcome thing, right? There's no way that a room for someone like me has -"

"`I am an Artificial Assistant, Class Six, and whilst it is true that my responsibilities are in regard for the entire ship, as a guest in these quarters, I am also at your disposal. Feel not a thread of guilt as to any inquiry, as my focus can be with many people at once.`"

Desdemona's jaw dropped, "Unholy ice! They gots you access to the ship's AI!"

Ivy laughed nervously and nodded slowly, "Wow. Also... Random thought here... You're not going to watch me sleep, are you?"

"`All guests are monitored for health, but with the utmost discretion. We have saved six hundred guests due to this service, to date. Your care, is my core directive.`"

"This be so unfair." Desdemona's face fell.

Ivy gave a small grin, "Why do you think I asked for you? So I could show off? You and Talia are so moving in with me. Not like I'm wanting in space, is it?"

Desdemona frowned, "Don't be thinking that allowed."

"`It is quite an unusual request. I have no prior experience in this matter.`" The voice spoke airily, "`As such, and as an honoured guest, I will fall to your guidance in this matter. You would like two more guests assigned to this room?`"

"They're on the crew, like me." Ivy said uncertainly, not sure exactly what the AI was actually asking her to do. "Talia and Desdemona."

"`The two crewmembers you were previously berthed with, is that correct?`"

Ivy nodded, "Yup."

"`Desdemona and Talia have been assigned to your birth. Would you like for me to assign someone to transfer their belongings, or would they like to collect them, themselves?`"

The red-skinned woman's tail swished violently in the air, confusing Ivy who had noted the absence of one earlier, "Oh, I be going and grabbing, right now. Ivy... You be proper friend. I be righting back!"

They ran out of the room, and Ivy gave a soft sigh. She sat down on the deck, crossing her legs and looking out the window.

Nearly dying had been an experience, and one that was probably going to stick with her, and fill her nightmares. Falling and burning was an experience she hoped never to repeat, and to quickly repress.

All the same, sitting here, watching the warmth of the homestar, and the twinkling of the distant ones, she felt almost... At home.

"What should I call you? Miss Class Six?"

"`Sudais is my designation. I am flexible in the use of any pronouns. Some say that my voice is feminine, and so prefer to use she and her.`"

"Sudais." Ivy repeated, "Sudais... I... I think I love it here."

"`I am sorry to interrupt your reverie, but at a time when you feel it appropriate, there is an urgent unfiltered communication waiting for your attention.`"

"Urgent? But I can ignore it?"

"`You are our honoured guest.`"

Ivy shook her head, "Uh... I still work here, right? So I should take it."

"`The communication follows...`" Sudais spoke, before her voice dropping to a deep and angry tone. "*I will find you. I finding you! Bitch! I find you and eat you! Your gallbladder is mine, you stinking cunt!*"

She felt her roots shrivel, and Ivy curled quickly into a ball, "Lock the door!"

"`The door is locked.`" The more pleasant voice spoke.

Ivy squeezed her eyes shut and shivered, "Do you... Do you know... The name of the thing that said that?"

"`I am afraid that the communication was made as an emergency, and so there was no identification attached. Is there a response to it, that you would like to make?`"

"Send it to the commander!" Ivy said, trembling. "And... And... Assign a guard! I don't want to go outside. He wants to kill me. Poisoned roots! I knew it wasn't over."

"`An Autonomous Security and Wellbeing Unit has been assigned for your care and safety. I have also notified the commander of the threat. It will be taken seriously. We do not permit hunting of other guests on cruises by Duffle & Hurley.`"