(Strive 6:2)

B. A. N. G.

El’s bracelet flashed blue, and with a spark and a loud crack, the wall exploded into scraps of sheetrock, a few meters ahead of us.

“‘Firecracker, a basic explosive technique of the presto-didjeridoo aspect, yada yada yada,’” El read. “There’s some more about energy usage, but the gist is that it blows shit up.”

“Good.” My mind raced. “Is there a maximum range? And how much energy can you put into it? In terms of TNT-equivalents, that looked like—”

El grabbed my foot with both paws. “You gotta calm down with this stuff before you give yourself heartburn. We’ll figure it out.”

I sighed. If it was me with the spell, I’d be testing it all straight off the bat. Although, come to think of it, even with my Harden, I hadn’t been experimenting much, so it was a bit hypocritical of me to push El like that. Hell, I had that new Aetherphone spell that I hadn’t really used yet either.

“Why not figure it out now?” I said. “I got a few things to try out too.”

“Alright, alright,” El said as we advanced to the next room. It held a couple of vases, some couches, and a few tables with lamps. A cursory scan showed no sign of mimics, and I plopped myself down in a seat.

“Let’s give ourselves half an hour,” I said, before remembering I didn’t have my phone or a watch. “Roughly.”

El got to work blowing up the vases in the room while I turned on my Harden spell, beginning my investigation. Over the next few minutes, I learned a couple of things.

Number one. The spell lasted a total of ten seconds, beginning as soon as the N sign was formed, regardless of how long I took to spell the word, how aggressively I formed the signs, or any other factors I could determine. Warning blinks began after five seconds.

Number two. Recasting while the spell was active only refreshed the timer. It didn’t increase the defensive effects. I tested this by punching a wall repeatedly and rating the pain on a scale of one to ten.

Number three. The shroud of aura applied itself evenly to all parts of my body. I tried concentrating on my hand or my foot while casting, but nothing seemed to change. Likewise, the shroud didn’t cover objects I was holding, such as my war plunger.

Number four, which I thought was the most interesting. The spell didn’t seem to consume much, if any, of my body’s strength on a passive basis. I only ever physically felt the drain when the shield was actually tested, a hunger and soreness like I’d done a mile run. I hadn’t thought about it before, but this squared with what I knew about the conservation of energy.

Number five: all this testing was making me hungry.

I finished off my last few Tastes of the Rainbow while watching El test the range of her Firecracker spell. It was limited to her line of sight, but otherwise, she could hit things from surprisingly far away. The issue seemed to be more one of aim.

“Goddammit, El,” I said, as a nearby explosion made my ears ring. “Be careful.”

Next, I turned my attention to Aetherphone, my new musical instrument ability. Its combat applications felt limited, although maybe I could annoy enemies with it somehow. It almost seemed more like an Easter egg, and considering the circumstances in which El had found it, I figured it was more of an optional bonus than a strictly necessary upgrade.

I activated the ability and a whining pitch began to emit from my bracelet. I clamped my fist shut, and it stopped. I opened slightly and waved my hand around, making swoopy, slide whistle sounds. After a minute or two, I had enough control to play a recognizable, if somewhat detuned, version of Mary Had a Little Lamb.

“Beautiful,” El said. “Are we finished?”

“More or less.”

The exit door beckoned, and after checking it for mimicry, we went through. But instead of a stairway to the next floor, we found ourselves standing on a bare rooftop.

I wasn’t naive enough to believe we’d reached the tower’s peak already, but that was what it looked like at first. The kaleidoscope waste of the afterlife stretched to the horizon in all directions, towers sprouting up like far-flung trees in a nightmare savannah. Bridges long and thin as gossamer threads stretched across the ether, some of them connected to our tower, some crossing between unknown neighbors. Close by, an organic spire pulsed with a monstrous heartbeat, and I shuddered. The walls of our tower—if there were any here—felt as thin as single-paned glass, and I remembered Hilbert’s warnings about the outside. Only chaos awaits, he had said, or something foreboding like that.

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Next to us, a single golden thread descended from the sky. That seemed to be the path upwards, and I grasped it. It felt disturbingly warm and a bit soft, how I imagined the entrails of an animal might feel, but as I pulled, it held stronger than any rope.

The landscape outside the tower suddenly receded into pitch black.

“That wasn’t me, was it?” I said, letting go of the string.

“I don’t think so.” El’s whiskers twitched. “Unless you’re also in the habit of summoning schoolteachers.”

I gaped as a familiar hooded figure emerged from the darkness, holding a red apple in one hand, standing in midair just outside the tower’s margin. He placed a hand on an unseen barrier that seemed to prevent him from entering, knocked twice on it, and smiled at me. It was a charming grin or a snarling grimace, I couldn’t tell. The invisible wall fractured, and a warning plastered itself over my entire contact in a terminal-like font.

Interstitial influence detected on the sixth floor.

“Oh, hell no,” I said. “You can’t make me go back there. Fuck your test.”

The teacher from the schoolhouse peered at us with interest. He made no further attempt to break into the tower, just stared at us from the outer darkness. Then, he placed his palms outward, and the entire tower shook as he projected his voice at us.

I found you, Xavier Shaw and El Bandito, he boomed. My wayward students.

I stumbled backward and tried to push open the door we’d come from—locked. Next, I grasped at the trembling string. El was already scooting her way up it, and I started climbing behind her. Undeterred, the hooded being began floating up the outside of the tower alongside us. His cloak billowed in the outer winds.

No need to be so rude, Xavier. This is why you’ve always been lonely: you’re constantly pushing others away. Like a carton of spoiled milk sitting in the refrigerator, wondering why no one will drink you. You think you have an old soul, but really you’re just past your expiration date. He chuckled at his own joke. You know who I am, don’t you? You’re a smart cookie. You knew as soon as you landed in my classroom after the truck crash.

“So am I spoiled milk or a smart cookie?” My voice shook slightly. “You’re mixing your food metaphors.”

You don’t have to say it aloud, said Death. I can read your thoughts, even from outside the barrier of this podunk little tower. Yes, right now, and stop thinking about weird Japanese fetish porn to throw me off. I don’t want to see that.

“Damn,” said El. “Who knew Death could be so petty? You think he ever gets any grim reaping done, or does he just spend his time fucking around with assholes like us?”

“I think maybe this is the grim reaping,” I replied, swatting El’s tail out of my face. “Can you possibly go any slower? I feel like Davy Crockett with his coonskin cap.”

“No one asked you to get all up in there.”

Stop ignoring me, said Death. I am Death, and you will come with me—

There was a sudden sensation of overwhelming pressure and a blinding light as another presence manifested, this one inside the tower. I covered my eyes with one hand, then giving up on that, tried using the Examine spell instead. I could’ve sworn the figure reacted to my scan, turning its head in my direction, before nodding. Only then did my contact respond, letters appearing a fraction of a second later.

First Sender of the Tower Strive. Creator of the kada-udjat system, and the high authority of this tower.

Sender, said Death, his face cycling rapidly through moods and colors. What a surprise. Aren’t you going to invite me in?

“This isn’t going to happen to one of my climbers,” said the being made of light. Looking at it was like staring at the sun, but its voice was male and surprisingly normal. “Not in my tower.”

You stole them, said Death. That was not part of the agreement.

Remembering the beam of light that plucked us from Death’s schoolroom, I felt inclined to agree. Not that I’d say that aloud.

You see, said Death. Even Xavier agrees.

Oops, I thought, trying to blank my mind.

As the two faced off, I felt like a kid watching an argument between divorced parents. The First Sender said nothing for a while, until Death opened his hands reasonably. What do you say we go halfsies? I’ll take one, you take one. I’ll even let you have the first pick.

Sender turned to look up at us, and I finally found my voice again. “I’m enjoying not being dead, personally,” I said, “and me and El, we’re kind of a package deal, if that’s okay.”

Death boomed a psychic laugh that made the rope shake, and with a cry, El lost her grip. I extended a hand that barely caught her, my heart pounding. I-if that’s okay? Death imitated me. This is who you’re going to all this trouble to protect? Come on, Sender. Hand over these two goobers.

Sender’s expression was obscured by the brilliance of his body, but I could sense the beginnings of anger in it. He held up a hand, surrounded by glowing white rings from wrist to shoulder, and said simply, “Not today.”

Thick walls slammed down, layer after layer, enclosing the tower and hiding the darkness outside from view. Distantly, I heard Death’s fading voice. So be it, Xavier and El. But when we next meet… well, let’s just say make-up exams are only half credit. Then, with a gentle, raucous laugh, he was gone.

“Thank you,” I said to the First Sender as the rope swayed. A question surfaced in my mind, and I voiced it to the being of light. If this was truly the entity that had saved us from that schoolroom in the afterlife, he’d know the answer. “Why did you bring us here?”

“Onward and upward,” was his only response as he fizzled into motes that drifted into nothingness.

We climbed in silence for a long while afterward, until gravity winked off and we began to float.