In front of John were two cookies on a plate. One was oatmeal raisin. And the second larger cookie was a double chocolate white chocolate chip. Warm enough that the white chocolate chips had begun melting and becoming gooey messes on the perfectly round cookie base.

John reached his hand out to grab the cookie. But his hand couldn’t reach the plate of cookies. As he looked at his hand to see what was wrong. He saw that his hand was the size of a baby's hand. He had shrunk! Somehow he had become the size of a toddler!

He looked back at the table to try and formulate a plan of how to get on the table. But when he looked back on the table he saw Shanks. The same toddler size that John was shrunk too.

He saw pillows stacked on the chair Shanks had been in. John watched as the babified Shanks grabbed the chocolate cookie with a dumb smile on his face. Watching the smug ginger start to bite into the delicious chocolate cookie. The face of his nemesis changed suddenly.

The red short hair turned black and became mop shaped. His eyes became covered by the messy hair. And his clothes became what you would find on earth. A light blue t-shirt with brown shorts

As the figure morphed into a normal boy from earth. The pit of John’s stomach filled with rage. His tiny baby hands grabbed the table and began to lift himself up. Moving his feet up onto the seat of the chair. John could feel his balance wobble as he stood on his feet. But the movements his body made felt familiar. He had a sensation of deja vu. It made his current attempt to get onto the table far more vivid than anything before it.

The chair John stood on began to wobble. Looking down he saw he was on a swivel chair with a brown cushion. He was also wearing earth clothes meant for small children. As he tried to shift his weight to pull himself up on the table. The chair would spin. Shifting his legs off balance.

John jumped off of the chair in an attempt to belly flop onto the table. But as he did so he misjudged how much power he needed to hold onto the table. The tiny baby hands lost their grip as John lept up. Causing him to fall down to the ground. He kept his eyes on the cookie thief on the table. And as he did John could see the visage of the small boy turn back into Shanks. In an instant John was on the ground. His face pressed into the ground he could feel and hear himself crying. He couldn’t feel any pain. But he knew that he was in pain.

“John!” A woman’s voice yelled out from the kitchen. Followed by very quick footsteps. John felt soft hands caressing his head as he laid on the ground with a tear soaked face. “John baby. You gotta be more careful.” Her hand turned John’s face away from the floor. And he saw the blurry visage of a woman looking down on him. “Poor thing…”

Blinking away the blur. What soon came into focus was a strangely familiar female figure. Long brown hair came down past her shoulders. And laid against her body. Her face was obscured by shadows as she peered down. But as her head came down to look at him. The shadow went away.

Peering down into John’s eyes. Inside the beautiful frame the long brown hair. Rayleigh’s face cut through the shadows. The angelic voice changed to Rayleigh’s deep tone. “Poor baby, Buggy.”

John’s head threw back with his eyes totally white. “Aaaaaaaah!” His mouth opened wide in a scream as his tongue flailed in a panic.

Feeling a sense of himself come back. John opened his eyes. Slowly revealing the deck of the ship filling the right side of his vision. John was very familiar with this angle of the floor. As it was the premiere angle of his hangover wake up mornings. Lifting himself up with his arms. John rubbed his head as he felt the same fuzzy headedness he felt back after a long night of drinking.

As he looked out at sea John felt a bump on top of his forehead. It was so big it forced the hat he was wearing to get pushed back a bit on his head. “Hmm? Did I get this from falling on the ground?”

A voice from the left spoke up to answer his question. “Ah. No, that would be my handiwork, Buggy.” The familiar voice rang in John’s ear. With a confused look on his face he turned his head slightly to the left. And saw the entirety of the Roger Pirates standing on the other side of the deck. Minus the captain himself. All of them were waiting around. And with their eyes peering down at him. John could guess what they were waiting on.

Their normally happy go lucky demeanor was replaced by a seriousness he hadn’t seen from them before. The band of merry pirates had turned into a warrior group. Ready to take on the world. And it was very uncomfortable that they were pointing that energy at him.

At the front of the group Rayleigh was talking with a man with black hair in a four point mohawk. And a mustache that connected in a thick line to his sideburns. And a small black goatee on his chin. They seemed to be talking about something until Rayleigh turned his head to look over at John. He quickly turned away from Rayleigh to make it seem like he wasn’t looking.

How the hell had he gotten out here? Last thing he remembered was in the cafeteria eating some meat when- John turned back around in a quick motion to look back at the older man. Rayleigh had turned back to talking. But John caught a glance to the side that said That’s right. I knocked you out in one hit.

The smug look made John turn back away towards the railing and look over the side. He had to take a moment just to look back on everything that had happened. He rested his arms on the wooden rail and just looked at the sea out past the dock they were at.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

John couldn’t even really process what had happened to him. Every time he went over the events in his mind he just could grab onto any of it. Everything had gone by so quickly. He had only been conscious for a few minutes at a time. Not long enough to come to grips with what had happened.

He had been taken away from his world. And been put in the body of a 13 year old…with a clown nose! Had he done something that tipped his karma scales into the negatives so far that he had been reincarnated as a gag character with a clown nose attached to his body. And he just couldn’t think of what that could have been.

As he reminisced about what all had happened to him. The crew reoriented themselves on the dock. Making room for someone to come out of the door leading to below deck. Shanks made his way across the deck. Though something was different. When he had woken up he wouldn’t have thought anything could have shaken Shank’s spirit. But the shanks he saw walk onto the deck was completely sullen. Head drooped down and shuffled down the deck.

Before he could get past the group. Rayleigh called out. “Alright. Now that Shanks is here we can begin. Buggy. Take a seat in that beach chair. Shanks finds a seat next to him. We have some business to discuss.”

Feeling a small chill going down his neck. John walked over and sat down on the beach chair. It was a lounge chair so he wasn’t sitting as much as laying down. Shanks dragged a barrel next to the chair and sat next to the beach chair.

Rayleigh stood at the front of the group as they all faced the pirate apprentices. “Boys. I hope these past few years have done you good. You’re both about ready to graduate from the Roger Pirates.” He paused while looking at the two boys. He wasn’t immune to the emotion of the two boys he’d watched after for so many years. Though he was able to hold back his emotions. So that none of the boys realized just how choked up he was.

“Therefore. I am going to have the crew split into two teams. One will train Buggy to the best of their ability. And the other will train Shanks.”

Slowly sinking into the beach chair. John’s brain lit up at the thought of being trained by the Roger pirates. Honestly he was surprised his body hadn’t already undergone that kind of training. He tried his best to sit up in the chair that had been provided for him. But there was no solid seat. Instead it was a chair made up of a bunch of straps wrapped long ways. Causing his butt and feet to get tangled and caught in the chair.

“W-wait!” John’s leg had gone under one strap, over the second, and under the third. Completely trapping his leg. “We’ve been on the crew for how long? And you haven’t given us an ounce of training?” Trying to stand up, his other foot stepped onto the strap it twisted around his ankle. Leaving him in a pose that didn’t let him keep balance. Putting John in a constant state of wobbling. Spinning his arms each time he dipped back or forward. As he yelled at the top of his lungs. “We could have been killed!” The statement had more of a questioning tone in his head. But as he spoke it. His voice shifted to be more condemning.

The air was still for a moment. But the entire senior crew broke into laughter after a few seconds. Some of them had doubled over onto the ground as they broke into tears. Rayleigh chuckled into his hand. “I’m surprised to hear you say that Buggy. Honestly. I thought you’d be harder to convince on this. You were always the lay about type.”

John felt a vein throb in his forehead. Even though he could recognize that was probably true. He still didn’t have to say it. Rayleigh reached into a box by his feet. And brought out a sword and a handful of daggers out of the box. Walking over to the two apprentices. He handed Shanks the cutlass. And dropped the daggers into John’s hands without even attempting to help him get his legs out of the chair bindings.

“We’re going to start off by having three days of the week dedicated to training. Two of those are going to be combat training with specific tutors. And one being a day where you learn specific skills.” John paused from trying to free his legs to look at all the daggers he was handed. How was he supposed to fight with all of these? Eight knives seemed like overkill to him.

Shanks just stared at the sword he was given. Continuing to brood in this uncharacteristically foul mood he was in.

“If you and your tutor agree,” Rayleigh continued on. that it’s best for you to move on. Then we’ll move you to the next tutor. Though your combat training will be far more strict. Each tutor will drill their lesson into your head before they’ll let you move on. And don’t worry i’ll be going over what they teach you.” He looked explicitly at John for the next sentence. “I wouldn’t want you to get by on the bare minimum.”

John could feel the eyes squaring in on him and looked back up to find the older man’s glare putting shame down on him. “Why the hell are you looking at me?” His eyes went dark with hatred.

Rayleigh didn’t skip a beat. “If that sounds good to you two. Get yourselves comfortable. Because we’ll be setting sail around noon tomorrow.” He turned around and faced the rest of the crew. “That means you too, men! Finish your tasks. Tomorrow we head back out to sea.” The group gave Rayleigh a final hurrah before dispersing back around the boat. Leaving the two pirate apprentices by themselves on the deck.

Neither of them wanted to head below deck just yet. Well John couldn’t. He had somehow gotten half of one of his legs tangled by the chair’s straps. “What the hell is this thing! And why is it masquerading as a chair?” Twisting his body left and right. One good turn to the left rotated his body a bit further than should normally be possible for a person. And looked down to see his torso detached like an action figure’s chest that didn’t fit rotated on its legs.

Then a lightbulb went off in his head. He was a devil fruit user. With a mental flex he had his leg turn into small chunks that were able to wriggle out of the trap. As he worked on freeing and reassembling his leg. Shanks spoke for the first time since John saw him today. “Buggy. What’s your dream?””

John turned his torso one hundred and eighty degrees until he looked Shanks in the eye. “My dream? What are you talking about?” He reformed his leg and turned his waist in the opposite direction to reattach his legs and end parallel with his torso. And dropped his chest down onto his bottom half. “Still very weird feeling.”

Shanks stood up off of the barrel facing away from . “You know. Your dream. The reason you set off to sea?” Putting the sword Rayleigh gave him on his hip before turning to Buggy. “I…I don’t really have a dream. But before you said that you had one. What is it?”

John blinked a few times as he processed what was being asked of him. If he remembered correctly. Buggy’s dream involved treasure. That wasn’t such a bad dream. Just wanting to be rich. “My dream? I’m gonna be flashy rich!” John crossed his arms as he confidently stated his dream.

Looking rather unimpressed Shanks turned towards the door to the lower deck with a flat look on his face. “That’s pretty boring, Buggy.”

John’s eyes furrowed as he stared daggers at Shanks. “What did you say, crayon head!”