The man was sitting at a table near the bar, and he was angry at the whole damn world. Everything that could have gone wrong for him had gone exactly that way within the last twenty-four hours. There was a serious death in the family and in the case of the worst timing in history, his old lady left him for someone who he thought was his best friend. Not only had that horrible woman betrayed him by sleeping around, but she also cleaned out the house, pawned all his personal belongings and even cleaned out his accounts before running off with her lover. He didn’t find out about the last one until he was at the bar and two drinks into his tab when the bar informed him that his cards were being declined. Life was beating him down to the point where he wanted to kill someone just to relieve a little stress, and the next asshole that even tried to bother him was going to get every ounce of aggression that had been building up inside him and then some. The man sat there, fishing through his wallet trying to find enough money to cover his tab, and so far, it wasn’t looking good.
“Are you okay?” the waiter asked, looking at him.
“Just give me a damn moment, Jimmy.” The man said, “I’ve been a patron of this place for decades, I deserve a little damn respect and consideration!”
“I’m sorry,” Jimmy said, aware the man was slowly losing his temper.
“Hold on, Jimmy.” A voice called out, “I got this.”
David Jones walked up and passed more than enough money to cover the tab.
“Keep the change,” David told the young waiter. “And charge anything else ordered from this table to my tab for the rest of the night.”
“Yes, Sir,” Jimmy said, walking away as quickly as he could.
The man sitting at the table closed his wallet and looked up at his savior.
“I suppose you want something in return for that favor?” he inquired, addressing the hero of his day.
“Nope,” David said, as he took a seat at the table across from him. “Unless you consider peace and quiet while we enjoy our drinks a favor?”
The man paused for a moment, then picked up his drink. “It’s not. I wouldn’t mind a little peace right now actually. Cheers.”
“Cheers,” David said as he took his drink and tapped the man’s bottleneck with it. The two of them sat there and said nothing for a few moments.
“Thanks for your help,” the man said, “This has been a rather rough day, well… a rough week actually.”
“I could tell,” David said, “Let me tell you that I’ve been there, and I know exactly how you’re feeling. I can assure you that it gets better, Gerry.”
“Hold on,” Gerry said, as his guard went up. “How do you know me?”
“Dude, everyone in this whole damn bar knows who you are.” David reminded him with an amused smile on his face. “But to be perfectly honest, I actually know you through a more professional capacity.”
After making that statement, David opened his coat a little bit and that was just enough for Gerry to see his Marshall badge and the gun he had holstered beside it.
“So, are you are looking for a favor?” Gerry said, feeling used.
“No, I’m not.” David replied, “But because I know you, I happen to know why you’ve had a tough week. I’m sorry about your father by the way.”
“Thanks,” Gerry said, as he relaxed back into his chair.
“I also happen to know what your ex did,” David continued, “Let me tell you buddy, that shit just isn’t cool and that’s the part that I’m all too familiar with. I know what it’s like to be cleaned out and left behind. I’ve been there, man. Let me tell you that it will pass.”
“Is that so?” Gerry asked.
“Well, eventually.” David admitted, “If may sometimes pass like the worst kidney stone of your life, but even those pass too.”
“Fair enough,” Gerry said, as it was feeling what was being served.
“But for now,” David continued, “How about we just get blitzed and drink our sorrows away?”
“Is this even legal?” Gerry asked, “Wouldn’t your bosses get pissed knowing that you’re having a drink with a known criminal?”
“I’m off duty,” David said, “And as long as we’re not doing each other any favors, I don’t give a rat’s ass what my boss thinks. This is America, Gerry! I can drink with whoever the hell I damn well please.”
“Damn right!” Gerry said, as he laughed for what was the first time in a very, very long time.
“Jimmy!” David called out.
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The young waiter returned to the table and seemed eager to help.
“Yes, Sir?” the young man said.
“I need two more rounds for myself and Gerry,” David replied, “And I need two menus as well. I’m feeling peckish.”
“Yes, Sir!” Jimmy repeated, said as he rushed off to get the menus.
“Take it easy, Gerry,” David said to the mobster across from him. “I already made a call to treasury about your accounts. They’re going to pressure the banks to restore your funds because she stole your card and wasn’t authorized to withdraw enough for coffee, let alone clean you out.”
“I don’t know what to say,” Gerry said, clearly surprised.
“Just take a breather,” David said, holding up his drink. “Let’s have a few drinks to go with the wings and nachos I’m about to order, and just take things easy. Like I said before, peace and quiet is all I’m looking for. I’m buying tonight, and when treasury takes care of your account, you’re buying next time. Sound fair?”
“Yes, quite fair,” Gerry said, seeming rather appreciative. “Thank you.”
“We’ve all been there,” David repeated, “Just take it one day at a time and don’t make any rash, dumbass decisions that will only make things worse.”
“Alright,” Gerry said, as the waiter arrived with more drinks and their menus. “Let’s paint the town tonight!”
After twelve hours of hard drinking and partying into the night with Gerry, David was passed out on a couch in someone’s living room when the portal flashed his cave projection expired, returning David back to the cave he had been in the whole time. David was still standing when he regained consciousness and fell flat on his ass as his knees immediately buckled as he was sleeping when he returned to the cave. It took him a few moments to shake himself awake and open his eyes. While the portal could take away the effects of death, David learned the hard way that it would not do a damn thing to remove the effects of getting your drink on and getting totally smashed. When David first tried to get up, he stumbled over. Once he managed to crawl out of the cave, he barfed into a bush right beside the opening. It took him almost fifteen minutes to make his way to the back house, a walk that would usually take only a few minutes. As he stumbled back into the back house’s main kitchen, David’s sister-in-law was there to give him a fishy glare.
“Do you need some orange juice?” she asked him.
“Coffee,” David managed to reply, “No milk, two sugar please.”
“Seriously?” Gail said, looking at him. “You got drunk in the past?”
“Yes, I got drunk,” David confirmed, “But it was for a good cause.”
“Is that so?” Gail said, making his coffee. “Please elaborate.”
“Do you remember the biker shoot out a few years back?” David asked her, “The very same that started a years-long gang war that got hundreds of people killed?”
“Nope,” Gail replied.
“Exactly,” David said, as he took a nice hot sip of his coffee. “Hard to imagine that all it took was one bad breakup and a rejected credit card to trigger an unfortunate series of events that resulted in one of the most ruthless gang wars in recent history. All I had to do to avoid the bloodshed was to be very nice to a poor fella that was down on his luck and treat him to some wings and beer.”
“Impressive,” Gail said, nodding her approval. “But what do you care about a bunch of criminals shooting one another?”
“I didn’t do it just for them,” David explained, “A lot of innocent bystanders and more than a few good cops were caught in the crossfire. All that loss of life seemed so unnecessary, and all because one bitch cleaned out her man’s bank account when she left him high and dry for his best friend two days after his dad died. I managed to avoid a massive bloodbath just by covering a tab and getting a little drunk. I let the bastard know we’ve all been there and that it does get better. A gesture he really appreciated.”
“Sounds like you made a friend too.” Gail observed.
“I just may have,” David said, smiling back. “And you never know when that might come in handy.”
“Well, when you’re finished having that coffee you might want to consider crashing for a few hours.” Gail suggested, “Ricky was looking for you. He wanted to talk to you about something important.”
“Alright,” David said, looking at his watch. “I’ll grab a few hours. Thankfully I’m off this weekend, or I’d be in big trouble with the office and the bossman.”
“That reminds me,” Gail said, “I think he called too. Didn’t seem as important, but he asked you to call back whenever you were free.”
“I’ll call him later,” David said, sipping his coffee. “When I’m a little less…”
“Trashed?” Gail suggested.
“Blitzed.” David corrected her, “I’m going to crash on my favorite couch for a few hours before Rickey gets back. Tell him to wake me up when he gets back.”
“Get some rest,” Gail said, “I’ll make sure you get a least six hours before I let Ricky kick the couch.”
“Thank you,” David said, “You’re my favorite sister-in-law.”
“I’m your only sister-in-law.” Gail reminded him.
“Good night,” David said again, even though it was eight in the morning. He took his boots off and just laid back on the couch and dozed off. It took next to no time to pass out and true to her word, Gail let him snooze for at least six hours. Guarding her brother-in-law as well as she could until Ricky and Harv insisted.
“Alright,” Gail said, “Just go easy on him, he had a rough outing in the portal earlier this morning.”
“Sorry love,” The older man growled, “Going easy isn’t in my vocab.”
“I noticed,” Gail shot back, “Nice to see you too, Harv.”
“Gail,” Harv said, “Where is he?”
“On the couch, sleeping.” Gail answered, “He had a long night getting drunk with a biker gang. He’s trying to sleep it off.”
“Well, times up.” Harv said as he walked over and kicked the couch.
David was jolted by the couch, but he knew what it meant. His little nap was just about over, and it was time to get back to work. He didn’t expect to see old Harv when he opened his eyes and was pleasantly surprised.
“Harv,” David said, “This visit for business or pleasure?”
“I’m afraid it’s a bit of both,” Harv answered, “But we’ve got some traveling to do; urgent family business.”
“All of us?” David replied, “For what?”
“Family meeting,” Ricky replied, “Dad needs to talk to us about something very important. He doesn’t do that often.”
“Which means something is hitting the fan,” Harv added, “This usually means we probably have a shit ton of paradoxes that need fixing.”
“Damn,” David said, as he sat up on the couch. “Am I ready for that?”
“Paradoxes don’t care if you’re ready,” Harv said rather grumpily.
“They just happen,” Ricky agreed, “So, we might as well toss you into the deep end now and get it over with.”
“Alright, alright.” David said, groaning as he got up. “Can we at least pick dumpling night?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Harv cursed out, “If you don’t like what’s for supper, we can always hit a diner for old school take out, my treat. Let’s get going already!”
“Alright, alright,” David said again as he hoped up and followed the two men out the back door, as they all walked up to the Portal to take their next trip together.