Many people believe that the word maid is just a fancy way of saying female servant, after all, maids are servants of their lords or employer. I certainly believed that, before I became one that is, so I can’t truly blame people for believing these lies.

Being a maid or a butler is more than just being a servant and calling one maid ‘a mere servant’ is a good way of getting oneself several enemies for life, enemies with a considerable amount of soft power and connections.

A maid is a socialite, a woman who derives her power and influence from those greater in rank than herself, but then again that is true for most socialites. Our influence is the weakest of all socialites however, as maids receive the least power of all from their lords, but the position holds advantages no other so called ‘almost-noble’ has, be they high class socialites, renowned warriors or merchants. Those advantages can be summed up in two single words: security and community.

A maid does not need their patron’s favor to be one and will not lose everything through a simple mistake most of the time unlike most others, nor are they targeted by those who covet what little scraps of power we do possess.

Thus being a maid is more than just serving someone, it’s about being around the nobility and striving for the opportunity to get yourself heard, if discreetly, by those in power and be able to influence them and their decisions in subtle or less subtle ways.

Maids may not have the power to demand someone’s head or get the best foods, drinks and other marks of power but what they can do is make their pleas known to their lords, collectively or individually and, using all the tools they have available, gain a lord’s favor and a part of his/her power in order to increase their own.

My month of training and introduction as a maid was not comprised of lessons in cleaning, for even the most idiotic of applicants were aware that they needed to know how to clean the floors and/or furniture with or without magic before applying. No, my training was not about cleaning but about learning of the new culture I now found myself part of. It was the barebones of what I needed to know, but it was enough to make me aware of this new world I didn’t even know existed and to make sure I won’t be a burden on the other maids.

It wasn’t easy, in fact it was filled with lessons, some more important than others, on multiple subjects: on how to be a maid, how to react to various events and how to speak, walk and so on forth. The most important lesson I learned however, was that if I’m ordered to be alone with any of the lords and ladies then one way or another I’ll be losing my uniform by the time we’re done talking, which to both my chagrin and excitement was exactly the situation I was about to face.

“Leave us.” The prince ordered, his voice trying to sound regal and authoritarian but failing due to his inexperience in actually commanding someone to do his bidding.

The voice wasn’t too high pitched or anything like that, no, it was fairly deep, for a twelve years old, but it lacked something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

‘I’ve heard newborn babes with more authority.’ I thought with a grimace once I realized what was missing.

It was true, to an extent. I have seen and heard of babies who with but a sound could make the entire room look at them and try to make them smile or at least stop crying, even if the room was filled with complete strangers. If someone on the street heard the prince speak like that, I think the result would have been a lot of laughter and derision when they realized he was trying to order them around.

The head maid wordlessly obeyed and left, the prince’s bloodline probably being the only reason she obeyed said order even if it was beyond improper. A proper maid would have at least tried to voice a complaint on ‘royal dignity’ or some other reason related to it but it seemed even the head maid didn’t want anything to do with His Highness if she could help it.

I looked up at the young boy and considered him. What I found were a pair of black eyes filled with relief and worry mixed in equal quantities. I could it see it clear as day that he was relieved that his order was followed but unsure of what to do with such a new development. It wasn’t exactly a winning combination when one is royalty.

I didn’t voice any of my thoughts on this as I considered my next words carefully and the options I had. On one hand I could use his obvious insecurity as a means of attack and getting the upper hand but I most likely wouldn’t be able to hold it and if he decided to kick me out or worse, I would need another patron for the next phase of my plans and that would take months, or possibly years more, something that, while I was expecting, I’m unwilling to go with, now that this opportunity came in front of me and that’s if I won’t be kicked out of the castle entirely which would be disastrous. On the other hand, I could be polite and try to stroke his ego or at least act like a maid and let him gain the advantage, which while potentially annoying it also allowed me to capitalize on whatever mistakes he makes for possible concessions and make him lower his guard.

After a few seconds of thinking I’ve decided to go for the second option as it presented the least amount of danger to whatever opportunity I’ve just stumbled upon. As such, I drew upon every single etiquette lesson I’ve received from my father, the criminal underworld and the palace.

“Your Highness, the sixth prince, have you asked for me?” I said in my most respectful tone while curtsying and looking him straight in the eyes.

It was the standard type of greeting all subordinates give to their lords in both the underworld and the palace. The greeting followed a simple methodology to make sure nobody could actually mess it up.

First one addressed them based on their title with ‘Your Lordship’ applying to nobles of high rank, ‘Sir or Madam’ to nobles of lesser status but still above you, and ‘Your Highness’ to any royal that aren’t the king or queen regnant. After that comes their official title and finally the reason for the meeting.

“W-what do you want?’ He asked with a slight stutter in his voice.

If you spot this narrative on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

I considered his words for a bit, the stutter was weird but the causes could have been many, so I dismissed it as ultimately unimportant but that left the contents of what he said. He knew I wanted something and judging from his tone he dreaded the answer.

‘Maybe he saw trough me, or he’s just that jaded?’

“Would Your Highness want the more flattering answer or the brutal truth?” I asked trying to stall for time to think things through.

I needed to think clearly on what to tell him and how much to disclose of my motivations or if I’m to disclose them at all. I also needed to consider the possibility the walls had ears and eyes so that was a factor I needed to take into consideration too.

He seemed taken aback by my words but recovered quickly, or at least thought of a response, he didn’t really seem surefooted and he was standing on his bed.

“The brutal truth would be appreciated, but let’s hear the flattering answer first. It might make the truth more palatable.” He replied with a defeated tone.

I prepared to speak but he interrupted me before I could even start.

“No on a second thought, just the truth, no need to bring my hopes up.”

“Very well then Your Highness, my name is Illyria, maid, representative agent and middle-woman of various organizations currently attempting to gain or regain a foothold in the palace. The organizations and individuals whose interests I represent and deal with would like to start multiple dealings of mutual benefit with you.”

My voice remained steady as I looked directly into his eyes and I could see his confusion grow the more I spoke.

“And why would you approach me, wouldn’t that be counter intuitive?”

“Why would it be counter intuitive?” I asked befuddled by his question.

“I don’t have any authority or anything to do with the palace and how it’s run.” He replied, his voice growing paradoxically more sure of itself, yet more miserable by the word.

I had the feeling I stepped on a trap wire with that question, but I wasn’t about to let something as insignificant as that to get in the way. It’s my turn to speak now and I’m not about to waste it.

“And yet you are a prince, no matter how respected, loved or known. As such you have the opportunity to gain more control and influence than most.”

He stood silent at that until he thought up a reply. While he was thinking at what I said, I needed to find out what was I to do with all the blood I pulled out of my body. I didn’t care much about how much I pulled when I thought my life was in danger, and it would admittedly do little to a war mage or even the Head Maid but instincts are hard to ignore when in a life and death situation. Thankfully the quantity I pulled wasn’t enough to be life threatening but it was enough to make me light headed and purifying it would require me to show up my hand and an ability I really didn’t wish to reveal so soon.

“Then why me? There are 5 others, 7 if you count my parents, that would have been better picks than me.” He finally said after what felt like hours.

“To put it bluntly, they can be very happy without the services of those I represent and in the case of your parents even happier if those I represent are dead or no longer in business, you do not have that luxury.”

“Going into insults now? And here I thought you needed my patronage.” He asked with something between a wry and bitter smile.

I had to remember myself that I was talking to a twelve years old prince and not someone on death sentence as I heard that.

“That depends on the organizations I represent, some want your patronage while others want some business transactions and some want some much more esoteric things. All are however willing to work with you.”

“You said that they want, but they do not need me.”

“No they do not, your assistance would make a lot of things easier and smoother but just like my presence here is not needed for them to accomplish their goals, it’s merely something done because they wish for a smoother process.” I replied, my voice light and my worry hidden.

I already had a pretty good idea of where this was going and I nearly grimaced at what I would need to do to steer it towards a more favorable outcome. All I hope is that he won’t be screaming too much. I’m not sure if the Head Maid is listening and while I’d normally put it at 100% chance she was listening to my conversation to a royal, he latest behavior and the identity of the person in front of me made that into a solid 50%. Less than the worst case scenario, but still too high to actually risk it.

“And what if I did like my parents and tried to get those very same people dead? Wouldn’t that help me just the same?” He asked, a weird mix of emotions going through his eyes.

Few of the were what I was hoping to see.

‘There’s greed, hope and a whole bunch of plans that would see me dead only after I’ve become incapable of even wishing for it.’ I thought with a hidden snark I have become accustomed to use ever since I entered the royal palace.

High nobles are all the same it seems, maybe their predisposition to reckless ambition truly is genetic.

“And who would trust you? You said it yourself, you have no influence or power.” I asked, trying to give him a chance to just accept the deal. It would spare all parties involved so much trouble and pain, if he just said yes.

However, in typical royal fashion, he proves reluctant to listen to other people’s opinions or words once he believes he has the upper hand and thus has no need to do so.

“You said it yourself, I’m royal, even if they do not respect me, if I made an accusation against a maid, then they would have to at least investigate it, and once they do, your ‘employers’ would soon be uncovered.”

“What makes you think they would be able to get anything out of me?” I asked with a feral smile.

It was fake naturally, but he didn’t seem to think so if the slightly scared expression on his face was anything to go by.

I decided to strike while the iron was still hot and not give him a chance to continue. I used my magic to gather as much water from the surroundings until a blade of ice could be formed.

“Wha…” The prince tried to say, but his words were meaningless.

I closed the distance between the two of us and covered his mouth with my left hand while putting my right behind him to stop him from moving back in fear. Then, in a swift motion the blade proceeded to do it’s intended purpose and slashed and thus a head was removed from a body.

It wasn’t the prince’s head that got separated from its body however, but mine, and I could feel the pain this act caused. It mattered not, I was used to pain, and it wasn’t as if I hadn’t done this before.

In a mockery of the natural laws, my head remained in the air, and no blood got spilled, from either the now headless torso or the head itself as I couldn’t afford to lose even more blood when I was already light headed. I kept the head afloat while keeping my body in the previous position with my blood control preventing any movement from both my body and the prince’s and even did a little bit of showmanship by spinning the head in the air three times until it returned back to its original position then proceed to reattach it.

I had to hide the sheer amount of pain and dizziness this caused but I was used to it from a lifetime of doing just that and thus, without a hint of the strain and pain I felt, I started speaking.

There are many things I could have said, it could have been a follow up on the not so implicit threat I gave him, or a mentioning of the resources those I represented could offer him, or even a simple question of if he would take me seriously now. I said none of that.

“Would you like me to find you a change of pants?” I asked sweetly, my smile and tone full of what I have been told is a perfect example of motherly concern.

Instead of all of what I could have asked, I asked him if I could help him change from the pants he now soiled. They were starting to stink too.

The following frantic shakes of his head, followed by even wilder nods of affirmation after a split second of thought, were the most amusing thing I’d seen today.

Truly I am the best negotiator ever.