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The Theoretically Badass Phoenix Archer
Chapter 2- five is the worst number...

Chapter 2- five is the worst number...

A few stray rays of light shine through the canopy of trees just outside the entrance/exit of the dungeon in the late hours of the afternoon hours of the day.

A green cloaked man walks out of the dungeon door taking even and calm steps looking as if calculating each movement precisely. He had the walk of a man of great prowess and dignity, yet an inner mysteriousness. How the hell that could be portrayed by simply walking is beyond most people. (myself included)

Needless to say, This man is our protagonist Jean. And if anyone could read his thoughts his cool and powerful look wouldn't really be that impressive anymore.

'EEEEEEEEEEE I BET I LOOK SO COOL RIGHT NOW!!!' He thought in a high pitched tone befitting that of a prepubescent mouse. 'Now I've just got to keep this up and I'll be a legend in no time. Hehehehe, this is already fun.'

Now that he was less focused on looking like a "boss" as he mentally referred to it, he noticed the trees that were surrounding the entrance. Realizing that said trees were much smaller barely saplings when he had entered the dungeon. Paying it little to no mind as he counted it off as his lack of paying close attention when he came in.

He continued on his Merry way to the closest town. It took a few hours of walking but he eventually made it there. After seeing the town in the distance he immediately high tailed it towards the aforementioned place of mass residence.

In the town itself he received alot of attention from many a passerby. From some wayward glances from the average Joe, to some lesser ranked adventurers in the area for one reason or another. All of them sharing the same thoughts. That man is not to be messed with, every single one of them had no idea he was just a jolly idiot just walking to the local adventurers guild branch. They saw a dark and powerful warrior with purpose in his step and power behind every stride. If only they knew, how opposite of what they expected he was.

After a few minutes of looking around the town for the local guild branch he finally found it near the center of the small village. Immediately entering it he went straight for the counter.

While heading for the counter he brushed past a tall bald and scarred warrior with broad shoulders and barbarian style leather armour. Apparently big guys like that don't take too kindly to when people even almost bump into them, the warrior went to grab onto Jean but was stopped when Jean had already grabbed his hand and was holding one of the several daggers he kept in his satchel and on his person above the warriors hand.

"Don't touch me if you want to keep that hand." Jean stated as if it was fact with a chilling grin on what was revealed of his face. 

Needless to say the warrior was reconsidering his actions by now, and had already assumed this badass adventurer was about to cut his hand off. Rather than lose the hand he decided on retracting it slowly and upon starting to do so Jeans grip on his hand was released. 

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

Meanwhile Jean was doing what he always did, mentally making an idiot of himself. 'Holy shit I looked so cool while doing that, my reputation is gonna skyrocket in no time, legendary status here I come!!' God help him if he ever encountered a psychic.

Finally at the counter he addressed the middle aged woman manning the counter.(Get it? A woman manning the counter? Woman, man... I'll shut up now.)

Jean briefly coughed into his hand to garner her attention from the paperwork she was filling out. She looked up with a questioning gaze and asked what he was hoping she would with her not quite but almost monotone voice. "How may I help you sir?"

"Ahhhhhhh I'd like to have my adventurers license updated and maybe take a few solo B or C rank quests. And a code name now that I think about it." After saying this he handed her the card that was his license.

"Alright sir for the complete updating we need you to fill this form out and pay a silver coin." He spent no time dallying and had set the count down and was filling the sheet out with all his information. He wrote his code name down as Phoenix. A code name being important for those who are fine with the guild knowing their name but not other adventurers. He handed it to her when he was done and she briefly left with it, returning only a minute or so later with his now up to date license. He looked it over to see that everything was correct when he noticed something, his age was wrong. He decided to ask her about that before he left. "Ma'am, I'm sorry but you got my age wrong."

"I don't believe I did sir, you last had your license updated when you were 22 back in E2Y109, it's it's now E2Y114 basic arithmetic says that's five years."

His mind immediately went blank, he expected there to be complications from what his skill had told him, but this was more than just a complication. He had been dead for five years. He was still standing at the front of the line while thinking this so he quickly settled for moving out of line and making his way to the tavern portion of the guild for that drink he had wanted earlier.

It didn't take much time to get a booth in the corner by himself and for a waitress to bring him the drink he had requested with the universal hand wave towards the bar counter. He'd never had a big family being an orphan but he had a little sister, two years younger than himself, he took care of when their parents died. Where was she? He had left to become adventuring when he was 19 and she was 17 because she had claimed she could take care of herself and knew he had always wanted to be an adventurer. She was older than him now. While he was technically 27 he hadn't aged a day in five years, she was 25 now. This sent a reeling weird feeling through his body. He hadn't visited her since he started adventuring and wondered again how she was doing now, he brought himself off of this train of though by deciding he would visit her at some point. Hopefully soon. It may have only been 3 years for him but it had been 8 years for her. 

He settled for listening to conversations around him while nursing his drink.

"... and then I swear a Minotaur came out of the wall, he couldn't of snuck up behind me, I have the eyes of a hawk."

"You can't see behind you, you idiot."

Jean particularly liked that group, though they reminded him of his old friends far too much for his liking of them to encourage him to join them.

After drinking a few pints he stood up to leave only slightly wobbly and departed to the quest board. Choosing a B-rank orc/goblin raiding band extermination quest and confirmed it by signing his codename under it.

He then rented a room on the second floor of the guild in order to stay the night. Deciding now was the best time to get to sleep he went up to his room and set about doing so. It didn't take him long for him to get to sleep, though his neighbors could have sworn they could hear his snoring through the walls.

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