They waved to the couriers.
"Make good speed to Ri Nachi. We shall be waiting for you at the Roadhouse. Four eightdays from now, no more," Harbend shouted.
He watched the riders vanishing on the north bound road while the wagon train continued eastwards.
"You think we'll see many of them?" Arthur asked Harbend as they started catching up with the wagons again.
"Not sure. Dyed silks, toys and instruments usually, but with sea trade cut off they shall have little silk to dye." Nagging worries yelled at him for a moment. "Twenty wagons maybe. An addition." Unable to shrug the unease away he brought his horse to speed.
They were one day behind schedule, which wasn't too bad, but he knew bad luck could have them falling back much more and was eager to leave the Roadhouse before winter hit the mountains. An early snowstorm could force them to turn back and then they'd be stuck at the Roadhouse for the entire winter. That was his greatest fear. One winter without moving and he was sure to lose most of the traders who signed on.
The next eightdays saw them passing through two more of the seven towns in Erkateren. The wagon train swelled at each town and Harbend had to prepare the Roadhouse for the huge amount of people and animals they brought. That meant riding in advance and he invited Arthur to accompany him two days after they crossed Erkateren's eastern border.
***
They took off in the morning, Arthur, Harbend, six horses and one wagon. Harbend drove. Arthur looked back, watching the wagons behind them until the road took a turn and they were between trees again. He enjoyed the silence, broken only by the creaking of wagon wheels and the muted sound of hoofs hitting dirt beneath them. About to ask Harbend how much time they needed to spend on the road a smattering from above caught his attention. He looked up but didn't see anything. Behind him Harbend halted the wagon.
"Rain. You better get your cloak," Harbend said.
Arthur just sat in his saddle. "But I don't feel any raindrops."
"You will. The leaves are sheltering us. Hurry up!"
Arthur obeyed and climbed into the wagon in search for his chest. He found his cloak and grabbed Harbend's on his way out. They both got into the heavy leather and strung felt hats to their necks. Arthur still didn't feel much of the rain, but then the wind caught up and started shaking the canopy above them, and within moments cold water poured down. Arthur yelled in surprise but Harbend only guffawed in response.
Half a day later, with wet clothes and a cold wind chilling them through whenever they rode out from between sheltering trees, their mood had changed for the worse. It didn't help that Harbend started whining about his relations with the Termend women and the infidelity of the daughter. Not able to believe what he was hearing Arthur eventually couldn't stay silent any longer.
"So, you turned her down and she slept with the captain instead. What's the matter? She's hardly your property. Don't you think I haven't seen you look at anyone who's not a fellow merchant as if they were nothing but servants or someone you could squeeze a good price from?"
"You fail to understand. I would..."
"If you say you'd have paid well I'll bloody smash your face in!" Arthur interrupted.
"I was not thinking anything like it!"
"Oh, no. Probably only something like taking good care of her, or making sure she gets a good life, or something else where the solution is money. Can't you see that not everyone values life in coins?"
Harbend colored. "Do you not value money and the freedom it brings?"
"Hell, no! My money bought me a golden prison for twenty years. I didn't own my money. It owned me, or rather any source of wealth owned me. For the first time I'm deciding what to do with it." Hearing his own words Arthur finally accepted that such understanding had taken him a journey to another world to reach.
"And now you have the resources to do so," Harbend said with a quality of whining to his voice Arthur didn't care for.
"I stopped caring about my so called resources four years before I decided to come here, and I don't bloody plan on allowing them to run my life again."
There was no response. Harbend just gave him a sullen glare and they didn't speak with each other after that.
He didn't understand why Harbend had even breached the subject. Chaijrild was still only a child and Harbend had done right by refusing to share his bed with her. Arthur didn't even want to think about the problems they would've had with her mother if it had become known that the master of the caravan took advantage of his position in that way.
You did right. No bloody reason to start sulking now!
They continued in uncomfortable silence all the afternoon and early evening.
***
Setting camp turned out being more difficult than they had imagined, mostly because of a hard wind threatening to carry away anything not nailed to the ground. At least the rain had subsided, but Harbend was still miserable, cold and wet. It took several, frustrating failures to build a small fire. If it rained for a few days more finding dry twigs to mix with the tinder he'd brought would become increasingly difficult, but that was a problem yet to come.
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He looked at Arthur in sullen silence. Arthur's earlier rebuke still stung, and as he had chosen to remain silent for the entire afternoon neither of the men's moods improved. Being tired and hungry after climbing the narrow track in drizzling rain hadn't helped neither, but Harbend bit back on his irritation while they were still on the road. Now, when they had finally managed to get their camp in order he turned to his companion feeling a childish need for petty revenge.
"So, I understand you got tired of being everyones' property, but it still fails to make sense," Harbend said as if half a day hadn't passed since any of them last spoke.
Arthur gave him a tired look but refrained from answering.
"I fail to understand. You are, what, fifty-five years old but from what you have told me earlier you tired of your fame almost five years ago," Harbend continued. "Then just one day you take off for a journey that may last for years. Do you not feel any responsibility? At your age you should have a woman and children." He suddenly saw raw pain in Arthur's face, but resentment forced the rest of the words into the air. "Do you not care about the family you left behind you in your heartless selfishness?"
Arthur was silent. With a sinking feeling Harbend knew he shouldn't have finished his accusations. Rather than wait for a defensive outburst he vanished into the wood gathering more firewood as an excuse to be gone from their camp. As darkness had fallen so had the wind and in the heavy underbrush beside the track getting a fair amount of dry wood was easy work and he soon had to return to the fireplace.
Arthur was still sitting in the same place and he was crying silently, tear brimmed eyes reflecting the flames. Harbend sat down, sharing the silence and waiting for the explanation he knew would eventually come. He added some sticks to the fire for extra light and warmth and started rummaging through their bags for some food when Arthur suddenly rose.
"I did care for my family, you know," he said and spread his arms as if excusing himself. "Five years ago my wife and son died in an accident. I almost gave up then, but I still had my daughter to care about so I continued with my shows." He took a few steps around the fire before resuming his words. "Much later I got to know a competing newscaster wanted me out and that it hadn't been an accident."
"How do you know?" Harbend asked.
"They thought I would be so caught up in my grief I simply had to quit."
"But how do you know?" Harbend repeated, this time with a feeling of unease.
"They killed my daughter half a year ago."
A coldness like a blanket of ice ran down Harbend's face and he knew all color must have left it. "Gods! How old was she?"
"Ten."
Harbend didn't have any children of his own, but his sister did. He turned to Arthur, a question still unanswered, but Arthur answered him before it could be voiced.
"They sent me pictures from both kills to make sure I understood the message."
"I am sorry," Harbend said suddenly at a loss for ways to express his sympathy. He mentally groped for words with which to wash away his shame, but none came forth. He had duped his friend to reveal a painful secret, no not just duped but forced him into submission. And it had been wrong and ugly to do so.
***
That night Arthur slept better, even though he wept from time to time. It hurt, but it was like a festering wound opening, and even though he didn't understand it himself he was taking a giant leap towards healing. He dreamed of his dead family. This time, though, the dreams weren't nightmares but memories from a time when they had been laughing together and nothing bad seemed possible.
He woke early, stiff and cold in the morning. As the days grew shorter each morning seemed to be a little colder and a little more damp than the one before. A long day lay ahead of them. It would be a harsh ride with very little to eat, but the prospect of a hot meal, a warm bath, and a soft bed was alluring enough to bring a thin smile to his lips.
Dreaming of his loved ones had soothed him somewhat. It still hurt, would probably always hurt, but at least he admitted he was in pain, and healing took yet another step forward. Maybe coming here was the preparation he needed, more so than Harbend's outburst the night before, maybe not, but with healing pain as a companion he finally allowed himself to journey to another world, an inner one but more exciting than any a space ship could reach.
He checked his horses while Harbend went over their wagon. One wagon and six horses. Arthur was glad it would be over after the day. He hadn't understood how much work the wagons added until now.
The mare he saddled whinnied and he gently stroked her. She'd turned out being just as easy to ride as he'd hoped. He started whistling and was still whistling when he was finished and ready to take to the road again.
Harbend gave him a suspicious look, but Arthur just grinned as he helped his friend. They didn't talk, but the mistrust from the day before was gone, and with rising spirits they started moving.