“Have you ever thought you needed a vacation to get away from everything? And no, I don’t mean just a trip to the beach or perhaps a few days spent in some theme park shuffling from ride to ride with thousands of others.
“No. What I mean is an escape to someplace where you can do what you want when you want. Where you can be your true self. Folks, I don’t just mean sleeping in, eating whatever you want, drinking whatever you want, doing some new designer drug, or even going on a sex tour of Asia.
“While you can do those things at any time, what I’m talking about is a truly once in the lifetime opportunity doing any and everything you want to do. I’m talking about being a hero such as a Robin Hood type bandit, a paladin, monster hunter, or noble adventurer going into dungeons. I’m talking about trying your hand at doing the simpler things such as being a bartender, hunter, farmer, trapper, fisherman, or a crafter. Or you can even give into your baser instincts and be a thief just out for yourself, a murderer, a rapist, drug dealer, or even just a no-good lazy vagabond. You can do all that and more in Southland. That’s if you’re smart and strong enough to get away with it.
“Sounds good, doesn’t it? Folks, it gets even better because in Southland every person you’ll meet and interact with is a real human, or perhaps former human, and not some robot or AI.
“That’s right ladies and gentlemen. A lot of those fantasy races you’ve always read about, seen in entertainment videos, and played in games are the real deal in Southland. Elves, orcs, ogres, trolls, dwarves, and humans are all present and real honest to goodness people. Though, many would no longer be considered human by decent people. And the best part is you won’t face any legal repercussions for whatever you decide to do!
“Don’t wait. Book your trip to Southland at Southland.sl3net today!”
Terms and conditions apply. SL3 is not liable for any action done by or to Southland’s guests. This includes, but is not limited to addiction, rape, murder, thievery, maiming, and death, whether accidental or intentional. Bookings are nonrefundable.
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“Have you had a recent break in or run in with some homeless wretch while you were out shopping? Perhaps someone nearly assassinate you to halt your project or robbed you after an expensive meal. Do you ever wonder if it is possible your security firm had never hired the best of the best in the first place or have their elite soldiers working other contracts that some desk jockey was bribed into authorizing? If so SL3 may have the solution for you.
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“We at SL3 are proud to introduce our new line of elven security specialists. Each elf, male or female, are not only highly trained, but each has enhanced speed, strength, and senses despite their slight stature. Our elves may be beautiful, loyal, and not look like they could harm a fly, but each one of them will not only see, hear, or smell danger before it gets to you, but they’ll ensure either you’re safely away or any wrongdoer ends up in the morgue all without ruining your evening.
“For those of you that can’t keep your hands to yourself and like a more personal… interaction with your guards, SL3 is offering a more personalized… night package, if you get my drift, for a modest upgrade fee. This includes the elf’s appearance within reason.
“And for those of you that like a little more intimidation in your security forces, SL3 proudly offers our new orc shock troops. SL3 orcs can be used for personal security or as the vanguard for your invasion force.
“These guys are on par with the elves when it comes to senses and speed but are much stronger. Like the elves, each orc started out as a normal human. Some were lily white fat slobs while others were dark as midnight track stars but SL3’s patented processes have made them into dark gray skinned killing machines no matter how they started out life.
“Every SL3 orc is mean, vicious, and utterly loyal. Believe me folks, these boys and girls look it too. Every muscle-bound orc has fangs and stands at least six feet tall. If that’s not intimidating enough for you, you can upgrade your orc to have tusks for a small upgrade fee. You can even get that same personalized night package for your orc if your tastes run that way.
“Ready to order? Visit SL3’s security page on sl3net for ordering instructions.”
Terms and conditions apply. SL3 is not liable for abuse done by orcs and elves or done to them. This includes but is not limited to your elf or orc going insane and killing every member of your family until they can be put down like dogs. Bioweapon purchases are nonrefundable.
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“Personal security not enough? Need something to truly put fear into your enemies? Want to make sure nobody ever steps foot onto your property without authorization?
“Want to protect your country or perhaps invade a country? Worried about logistics and feeding your troops? Would you prefer using something that can truly eat its way to its objective over traditional firepower and troops?
“SL3 is proud to present our new line of bioweapons for your needs. From once extinct cave lions and cave bears to fantasy creatures like ogres and trolls, SL3’s new bioweapons platforms will do the job right.
“SL3’s elves and orcs are also considered bioweapons by law, and therefore can be purchased in mass allotments if desired.
“Visit bioweapons.sl3.sl3net for more information.”
Terms and conditions apply. SL3 is not liable for death, damages, or use of bioweapon platforms. Ogres and Trolls were once human and have limited intelligence which means they may turn on their handlers of their own freewill. Bioweapon platforms have built in safeguards activated upon order by rival corporations and nations to safeguard SL3 employees and facilities. Bioweapon purchases are nonrefundable.