Long ago, in a parallel dimension, there was a place known as Planet Popstar. And on that planet was

a vast plethora of different races, living in somewhat harmony until a world threatening demon from the bowels of hell and the denizens entrust a large pink feetis to defend them. BUT NEVER MIND THAT, up in the sky, a place known as France exists... the people hailing from France were odd and awkward, and very, very, french. One such denizen, Taranza, was the hero of France, and right hand to the queen. They... ehm... (insert awkward romantic story driver here) but never mind that, FRIEND ZONED. Anyway, the queen, for her... searches up wasp lifespan 4 month birthday, cause wasps don't live up to a year, received a mirror for her birthday from Taranza. But it was unknowingly CURSED, it transformed the queen, to Taranza's horror, INTO A MASSIVE WASP FURRY! The wasp was a cruel dictator! She forced her people to execute tons of people! The blood waterfalled off the island,  right onto the pink feetis, also known as Kirby, 's house! Kirby climbed the massive grapevine, and fought a ton of annoying bosses that RUIN YOUR TRUE ARENA PLAYTHROUGH! He reached the top though... there he met Sectonia and Taranza, and he fought Sectonia and, with the help of Taranza, WON! Taranza had second thoughts though, he should have found a way to help the queen instead find light once more... he rolled in his bed at night, having visions... sexy visions, of the queen he lost...THAT IS IT! And with a HON HON HON, FRENCH TARANZA WAS BORN! He called the denizens of Popstar to the castle, only two showed up. Kirby, because he's what, like 1... and his abusive royal child protection service agent, Dedede.

French Taranza sips his wine and puts it back down upon a gorgeous velvet throw upon a mahogany table. 

"HON HON HON COMMONERS." French Taranza shouts across the room, gesturing Dedede and Kirby over. "Mon have no taste for ze finest wines an' cheeses! You probably haven't even put le baguette up your MOUTH, yet!" Kirby looks to Dedede and shrugs. "He's broke." Dedede said, plainly. "WHAT IZ IT YOU SAY!" French Taranza exclaims. " THE WORDS THAT COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH OFFEND THE HIGHEST OF STANDARDS OF OFFENCE TO I, FRENCH TARANZA!" Kirby just looks at French Taranza, with his bags under his eyes, wine drooling out of his mouth, and blots of black and yellow paint staining his shirt. "Good day." Dedede says, and takes Kirby's hand. They walk out the open doors of the dining room, leaving French Taranza to his sober remorse of his dead french wasp waifu. French Taranza, however, after about 5 to 10 minutes of sobbing in french, gets up off the floor and floats out the door wistfully. "Maybe." French Taranza says to himself confidently "All I need is a new queen! HON HON HON! WII WII WII!" So, he flies his fastest down the hallways, toward the front door. He then turns, goes into his room, and in half an hour, French Taranza has another nude picture of Marie Ant-oinette, the prettiest, and deadest Floralian queen, with Sectonia's face on it. Nice job. He THEN goes outside, picture in hand, and goes to Popstar via the giant grapevine that Kirby came to start the thirteenth Floralian revolution that is now used for transportation and, wine, lots of f*cking wine. When he arrives, he goes to the Haltmann inc. Coffee bar, in the middle of Dreamland. He goes to the counter and talks to the waitress, Susie. "Bonjour! Mon ami! And must I say good day and all ze greetings." French Taranza says with a bow, he was trying to impress Sectonia. "Golly Taranza. What has happened?" Susie asks in shock of the nude wasp picture "What does your mouth mean maddame!" French Taranza responds to the mouthless Susie "I simply wish a drink with my wife!"

This tale has been unlawfully obtained from Royal Road. If you discover it on Amazon, kindly report it.

"Whatever, as long as I'm getting money with this new startup company." Susie says, pouring some coffee into two mugs. She sets them down on the counter. "That will be fifty Haltbills." "WHAT IZ ZISS! THIS IS MADNESS! FIRSTLY! I WILL NOT USE YOUR SILLY, FOREIGN, CURRENCY!" French Taranza exclaims, spiting on the floor. "SECONDLY, THESE PRICES ARE TOO CHEAP FOR A FIVE STAR EATERY SUCH AS YOUR OWN! AND TROIS, (three in french, by the way) WHERE IS ZEE WINE! I DO NOT, I REPEAT DO NOT WANT THIS, BROWN CRAP THAT SITS BEFORE I, FRENCH TARANZA!". Kirby, Meta Knight, Dedede, and Bandana Waddle Dee had been watching this entire exchange from their table in awe. "NOW! I BID YOU ADDUE! ZAT IS GOODBYE, STEWPID!" French Taranza finishes on his way out, spitting again. Susie watches as he flies off, back to Floralia. "You know, Pinky." Susie says turning to Kirby. "What the f*ck happened with him?" Dedede gets up and walks over to Susie, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Listen. I don't think you want to. Now. HAND ME ANUTHA BAGGA DEM CHIIIIIIPS!" 

Later that day, around the evening, French Taranza was in the castle, watching tele and drinking wine with his AU MAGIFIQUE painting.  French Taranza suddenly pauses the show. He lets out a sigh. "Zis is worthless... when will she respond?" That was when French Taranza realized, this entire time, he was talking to a painting. "Ce que la baise! I am done!" French Taranza gets up and walks to the kitchen... oh wait, he doesn't walk... HE FLOATS! He opens the doors and walks over to the over. He opens the oven door, and hops inside... Just then, somebody enters the kitchen, looking for French Taranza. It was Susie. "What are you doing?!" Susie exclaims. "HON HON HON! I AM COMMITTING ZE FRENCH SUICIDE!" French Taranza yells dramatically. "Get out of there, and tell me what you are doing, French Spider." French Taranza does so, if reluctantly. He floats over to the center of the kitchen and puts one pair of hands on the island, and another on his face. "Well?" Susie hurries. "My wife is... ze dead." "Oh..." Susie says carefully. "So, you're coping with the loss by painting?" "Not simply painting! Zis is ART! And yes, coping, or something like zat." Taranza corrects intensely. "So, how can Haltmann industries help you, Taranza?" Susie asks with a bussiness-like composure. "I need a new queen to rule with me." (Subtle reference, tell me if you caught it.) Taranza says, sounding like a familiar king. "Well, tell you what. I can help you with the ladies, if come to my office, at the coffee shop, tomorrow. We will talk." Susie says. So after that day of chaos, wine, and suicide attempts, it was time for bed. Susie goes back down the grapevine to Popstar, but at the bottom of the massive wine machine, she sees something, that upon being seen, dashes into the forest it was standing next too. "Odd... hmm..." Susie says to herself.