Nameless stared out into the forest below, a wall of loudly falling rain obscuring much of his sight, his mind elsewhere.
After feasting on the Matriarch, Nameless had noticed clouds growing and shifting above as he and his siblings made their way back to the den. The humidity in the air seeming as though it grew with every step they took.
The scent of rain had coated his nostrils as he had entered their cave, his fur and skin sticky from the water laden air, the horizon darkening with the start of a storm.
The rains had finally come to the valley.
The sky had opened up with a roar that echoed through the den; its cry one of rumbling thunder, cracks of lightning, and howling winds. Nameless had felt an instance of elation at the monsoon's presence, his soul cooing in tandem with the rains in a manner deeper than any other he had experienced to that day.
It was a queer feeling, one that he had desired to delve into more in an effort to try to understand, if not to merely bask in the glow of the unfamiliarly vibrant emotions. However, he had had other, more pressing, concerns.
“Concerns that still have not been addressed or even acknowledged…” His conflict with Fang was not one he could – or even desired to – keep secret; the wounds covering her body, as well as his sister’s inevitable retelling of their hunt, making obvious any act of deception he might try and craft. So, he had prepared himself for a confrontation with his mother, entering their den with a mind swamped in anxiety.
Fang’s status as their mother’s Preferred was obvious; the first to eat, to be chosen for lessons, the first to be addressed after hunts… “if I should be grateful for anything today, it should be that Mother did not immediately jump to Fang’s defense after whatever retelling of events she had given.”
After her conversation with Fang, his mother had moved onto each of his other siblings, seemingly making a concerted effort to leave Nameless for last. Her avoidance had left him tensed to run at a moment’s notice – no matter how futile a move it would have been – his eyes darting between his mother and the cave’s tunnels, until the moment she finally reached out to him.
He had been caught off guard when his mother’s questionings had involved none of the accusations, reprimands, or threats he had expected. Their conversation involving his role and actions in he, and his sibling’s, hunt as they always did… with only one subtle difference that made him worry all the more.
“I couldn’t feel even a hint of emotion from her.” Even if his mother had a significantly higher tier of [Telepathy] than him, Nameless had always detected some form of her emotions when they connected; whether that be due to a quirk of [Wisdom], or because she felt there was no way any of her cubs could detect them – given their youth and inexperience – he couldn’t say.
“But sensing nothing means something has changed…” Another jagged string of lightning slipped down from the sky, the flash of light setting the fat droplets of rain a-fire with a dazzling gleam, “If she had a sense of my having [Preternatural Wisdom] or – even more worrying – that my [Telepathy] was abnormal, I would be dead.”
Abnormal Skills – and Traits – were often dangerous to whoever had them and to those around them, horrid deviations that ran the risk of making those baring them mutated, insane, or both. Luckily, the only thing abnormal with his [Telepathy] was that it had grown into the Initiate tier without his having access to magic, without any signs – as far as he could gather – that it was anything more than another peculiarity of [Preternatural Wisdom]’s effects.
However, of the impressions his mother had left him with, it was clear how she would have “Abnormals,” of any kind, dealt with… whether they were her cubs or not.
“Which means it must be something else… but what exactly?” It was a possibility that Quiet’s growing mental capabilities had made Mother more cautious, more cognizant of what she might reveal to them, “But I am of the same mind as [Wisdom]’s that there is something… more to Mother’s sudden precautions, than anything as simple as that.”
Nameless continued staring out towards where the mountains would lie in the distance, sitting on his haunches, the dark overcast and heavy rain making the world in front of him as hazy as his thoughts. The storm did little to quiet his chaotic mind or calm his pounding heart… nor did its howls and rumbles do anything to mask the steps coming from behind him.
His ears twitched and his breath stuck still in his throat, the obvious weight behind the padded steps – growing closer to him – being all he needed to identify who was approaching him.
He kept his eyes ahead of him, the ethereal paw of [Wisdom] appearing to bid his thoughts and emotions to follow its tracks. He allowed his mind to wander down the Trait’s path, carefully parsing through its proposals and inclinations, evaluating what steps resonated the most with him.
Much reluctance still tinged Nameless’s thoughts and decisions surrounding the unusual Trait, a large part of him still unwilling to trust in it completely, that feeling of… division between himself and [Wisdom] being something he couldn’t ignore. However, he certainly wasn’t as wary of the Trait as he had been.
Its providing him of knowledge beyond his current understandings and the “awakening” of his consciousness not-withstanding; what he had come to appreciate – and even rely on – were both its perception of his surroundings, as well as the guidance it had come to provide at times.
[Preternatural Wisdom] – in a manner he had yet to understand – noticed things that Nameless either couldn’t, or was unwilling to, recognize. His mother’s emotions, how she interacted differently with him and each of his siblings, the favor Mother showed Fang – and to a lesser measure Shiver and Greye, all the subtle things that would slip past his attention, intelligence or no.
“And for all my doubts regarding the extent of [Wisdom]’s reach, I have to full well recognize that its counsel is an immense boon.” Nameless mused as the large form of his mother settled next to him, endeavoring to occupy his thoughts with anything but the anxiety her close presence caused him, “Its guidance is only that, a guide, and it is up to my discretion in what manner I conduct myself, based off of its instructions. However, I cannot help but recognize that once my choice is made, [Wisdom] almost seems… satisfied with my choice. As though the Trait has… expectations and desires of me all its own.”
“Yet another addition to my herd of worries, with Mother herself at the head.” Nameless glanced to the side, his mother sitting silently beside him, her presence looming over him like a mountain threatening collapse. He was again reminded of that absence of emotion from her, the yawning gap in his senses bringing to mind the deep gullies whose bottoms were nothing but empty pits of black.
[Do you have anything else to say about today?] His mother’s voice rumbled through his mind. He could feel her senses upon him, thin strands of telepathic intent creating a gossamer web that lie over him from crown to tail, assessing his every twitch and errant thought.
He didn’t answer immediately, using the protections of [Wisdom] – and even a little [Deception] – to obscure his thoughts for the instant necessary to organize them, before responding, [No. Told. Everything. Already.]
There was a risk in following the path, he believed, was most suitable. The possibility that his mother may see his honesty as an obstinance bordering on disrespect, or worse, a challenge to her leadership was high. But what insights he might gain into her thinking, under this rare opportunity, made the risks – whatever they may be – ones he were willing to take.
[Oh? Truly? You see nothing as having gone… wrong with today’s hunt.] Her tone thrummed with amusement and interest, the first scent of emotions he had received from her all day, an otherwise innocuous undertone to her questioning.
However, there was more below the surface, a susurrus of predatory observation masked by a feigned levity that – if not for the control over himself provided by [Wisdom] and some of his Skills – would have set Nameless shivering in place, his every hair standing on end, “Choose your words carefully, Nameless. There is more to her questions than she would have us believe.”
[No… Actually. Almost missed. Ambush. Though. Mentioned. Already. Why?] He was padding down a thin trail, his false perplexion and misinterpretation of her questioning chancing a negative reaction from Mother.
He could almost feel his mother’s eyes land on him, her attention pressing down on his back as though a Phiomia were standing atop him, [Because the wounds on your sister’s face as well as Her’s, yours, and your other sister’s retelling of events, says something was very wrong…]
He looked up at her, using his knowledge of [Deception] to its fullest, trying not to show the fear that ran rampant within him, [No. Wrong. After. Hunt. Protect kill. Like. Taught.]
Nameless watched as she leaned over him, her face devoid of emotion while her eyes danced with a fire that wasn’t from the lightning, [Like I taught you? Nothing was wrong? Do you truly expect me to believe you, or that sister of yours, that your harming your sibling was warranted?]
He felt her mind press down against his own, the sheer difference in strength tearing a whimper from his lips and forcing him down to his stomach, [Why would you think that your injured sister deserved to be harmed by you, her own brother, for something so… insignificant as a dispute over some prey; let alone believe that what I taught you, would support such violence against one of your siblings?]
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From where he laid, Nameless struggled to form an answer under his mother’s telepathic force, [My. Prey. My. Kill.] He forced out, his mind in agonizing pain, [My. Claim. My. Success. Threatened. Taught. Defend. Honor. Prove. Strength.]
He could feel the scree falling to either side of his “path,” thinning the trail down to one precipitous strip, that any slip in words or emotions could lead to him plunging into the depths of his mother’s rage that lie below.
The force upon him increased, chocking the air out from his lungs and nearly making him fall into unconsciousness. His mother’s control slipped, rage and disdain slamming down into his mind with as much violence as the storm outside, [Defending your success? Proving yourself?!] Mother hissed, words laden with contempt, her mind feeling like claws against his throat, [As though your felling of that Matriarch was worth anything like that, if it threatened my H-!]
His mother’s voice abruptly halted, the contempt that had begun to leach into her words disappearing as suddenly as a Sarcosuchus* into murky waters… but Nameless had learned more than enough.
Curling up and making himself as small as possible, Nameless didn’t have to fake the fear that his mother’s anger caused in him… nor that made from the sudden absence of any, “She was willing to kill me for a moment.” The image of his mother’s tearing his head from his shoulders flitted past his eyes, “[Wisdom] was right, I was just too… naïve to see the truth.”
[I am sorry my son.] The monster – with the name of Mother – apologized, her telepathic connection humming with a regret Nameless couldn’t believe, [I did not mean to lash out at you in that manner. It is just that… I do not like the idea of you and your siblings fighting amongst one another. If any of you got hurt, I would be… inconsolable.]
“Liar.” Nameless thought, her words sounding as hollow as the networks of tunnels that ran away from their den to his mind, [I am. Fine. Mother. Protect. Care. Worry. For us. I. Understand.] He buried the disgust he felt, lying through his fangs in the same way as she did.
Using [Telepathy] to entwine false emotions into his words – while continuing to lie down – he presented the submissive, unaware, and hopelessly adoring cub she believed him to be. Endeavoring to do everything he could to present himself as anything but a threat and his fight with Fang as nothing more than a… mistake of youthful exuberance and a desire to “prove” himself in his mother’s eyes.
Even if he despised every moment of it.
[I am glad you understand, my son. While it was a mistake – losing my composure – I hope you see it for what it was; my caring so deeply for all of you that it pained me to see you in conflict amongst each other… and as a lesson, that next dispute – between yourself and a sibling – you should use your words instead of violence.]
Her voice, for all its throaty tone, caressed his mind with a… matronly affection. Comforting, honest, and endearing; her [Telepathy] filled his head with the scent and warmth of her fur as he curled beside her as a cub, drowning his emotions under a flood of familiarity and reminiscence that almost managed to make him believe her sincerity… almost.
With a [Telepathy], Trait, and awareness more advanced than she would suspect, Nameless could detect the fallacy lying beneath the surface. Scorn, dissatisfaction, derision, loathing, and a field’s worth of other negative emotions and opinions, insidiously circled below her honeyed words, their reeking stench clinging to his mind as the cause and focus of her foul humor.
“At least I know you can feel something for me… even if it is nothing but a resentment I do not yet completely understand.” He thought dejectedly, the confirmation of his fears beginning to break him down. However, he retained his own composure, knowing that with his mother’s proximity even the slightest slip could lead to those imaginary scenes of violence towards him… becoming a terrifying reality.
[Understand. Mother. Try. To be. Better. Care. Too. Make you. Proud.] At his words and emotions his mother smiled, a sudden flash of lightning streaking through the sky as she did, almost reflecting the thunderous emotions that he knew hid behind her smirk-squinted eyes.
[Good.] She raised herself off her haunches and turned around, facing back the way she had come, [Do not stay out amongst the elements long, my son. At the rise of the Brothers comes the start of your first Proving, it would behoove you to be in your best condition when it begins.]
As the sound of her padded feet sticking against the smooth sandstone floor receded away from him, a howling gust of wind and rain swept in to replace the space she left behind.
She eventually faded from his perceptions, yet Nameless held fast onto caution, continuing to keep tight control over his surface thoughts and emotions, “Just because I cannot sense her any longer does not mean the same could be thought in reverse.”
Raising himself back onto his own haunches, he looked outward, eyes piercing the darkness ahead of him, “My own mother was willing to kill me... because of Fang. But why?” Nameless thought, working through the whirlwind of emotions and revelations that swirled wildly deep within him, “Just before she regained control over herself, she was going to call Fang… something, its importance – resonating over our connection – far beyond that of even Fang’s status as Preferred.”
He began to become lost in the sound of the rain and tempest once more, his mind slowly beginning to pull back from the raging storm his monster of a mother had created within him, “But outside of the significance of whatever she was going to mention, “Mother’s” mind was too… chaotic and agitated for me to get a sense, or even an impression, that could guide me to understand what she had prevented herself from saying.”
A strike of grief slammed into Nameless as another bolt of lightning streaked down from the sky in the distance, thunder rolling in its wake like a commiserating cry, “Yet for all this intrigue, I cannot allow myself to cower away from the worst revelation of all… Mother’s hatred for myself and Quiet.”
“In the same manner as her true reasons for… obsessing over Fang are unknown to me, why she would despise two of her own cubs is something that is just as confusing and senseless.” His eyes began to blur, sorrow and bitterness beginning to choke his thoughts, “What fault do we bare to be thought of as lesser? What blame is ours for the thought of killing one of her own to be even entertained?!”
Rage overwhelmed his grief, changing the chaotic whirlwind within him into a furious storm as violent as the one he witnessed outside, “What have either of us done to deserve your hate, Mother?!” Nameless snarled within the confines of his mind, barely preventing his emotions from slipping through his claws, any misstep now still containing the risk of revealing the depths of his true feelings… as well as the awareness he so desperately needed to hide.
“No. Whatever insipid hate she has is not foisted upon us for any fault of our own… but hers.” His rage remained, the eerie feeling of [Wisdom] perking up – at yet another shift in mentality – sending a shiver across his hide, “Whatever blame is to be had is hers and hers alone. But that there is anything that she sees within us to incite such loathing at all, towards her own cubs no less, means there is something… specific behind Mother’s aversion. That should be my focus, rather than dwelling on what I have lost; and the pain and the grief, that bay at my mind like scavenging hyena around wounded prey.”
“There will come a time when I can allow myself to feel and act upon these emotions… but now is not that moment.” [Wisdom]’s alertness seemed to recede as he gained control over himself once more – an odd feeling of contentment softly brushing against his thoughts like a breeze through his fur. He was by no means relaxed, much of his thoughts and emotions still unbalanced and enflamed, however he did feel a greater sense of… solidity budding within.
“The impending Proving will give me time for a great many things; thinking, planning, growing… coming to terms with everything revealed. So, while I can do nothing now – and there will be nothing I can do to Her in the near future – what I can do is prepare… prepare to survive no matter the odds against me, even if one of them is my own mother.” Nameless looked out into the night, the world pitch black under the raging storm, errant flashes of light and the rolling thunder making the swaying canopy of trees ahead appear like some great monster or swarm, “And even if it is spiteful of me, I see no greater victory ahead then surviving and excelling when expected to fail…”
A massive cracking roar of thunder and lightning bloomed as though acting like a herald of his conviction, making him shakily smile for the first time since the hunt. He could feel something shift as he rose to his paws, a change within him that made his steps back into the den more assured, “Whatever may come, I will survive… as surely as the winds blow and the rain falls.”
―――――――――
As he awoke the following day, Nameless blinked blearily as he stretched, feeling his muscles pop and roll. Through squinted eyes he looked about the den – groaning as his stretch removed some of the tension and soreness that wracked his body – a particular expectation on his mind, “She is gone.”
The space where once his mother rested was empty, his surroundings only retaining the barest whisps of her former presence. He breathed a shaky sigh of relief, the lack of his mother’s looming threat to him, Quiet, and possibly some of his other siblings as well, settling much of the fear that still remained from the night prior.
His siblings were still asleep, completely unaware of her disappearance and the possible danger that had lurked around them as they rested, “It is an unfortunate thing how quickly I have discarded my bond with her. However, while her danger to me is painful, that her hate included another of my siblings – and may yet extend to the others – is something I cannot forgive, nor forget.”
His attention landed on Quiet before flicking over to Fang, where it lingered, “And that my feelings towards Fang have soured is also not lost on me. Mother’s favoritism will not serve to do anything but continue to inflame the pride and egotism that led to our conflict in the first place. Which means it is unlikely that Fang will become anything but a reflection of our mother’s desires and beliefs, the Preferred… and mine, and eventually our siblings’, Adversary.”
Fang slept soundly, unaware of Nameless’s struggles, dull beams of light beginning to stream into the den as the dawn grew, “But she is as blameless as Quiet and I are… as unfortunate to have Mother’s obsession as we are to have her hate.”
Nameless could do nothing but hope Fang would learn that their mother’s attentions – all in the process of fulfilling whatever hidden desires he knew her to have – would only serve to harm and stunt her, spurring her to separate from Mother’s manipulations. But he doubted such a thing would occur, “She will give Fang far too much for her to see the lie behind the affection. Which only means that one day Fang will be as much a threat as Mother… except less of a concealed one.”
He looked away from his sister to the pond beginning to lightly glimmering under the thin, muted, streams of swelling day, “It will be good for me to be alone for a time; without Mother, Fang, and the rest.” He quietly padded to the water, using the slightest hint of [Stealth] to guide his steps and avoid awakening any of his kin, stepping over a sprawled out Greye, “Too much has changed too quickly, and to have a moment to compose myself and begin to solidify my growth – without having to hide and conceal my full capabilities – will be… immensely welcome.”
Reaching the pond, he lapped at the water, reveling in the cool liquid streaming down his gullet and face, “This may well be the last easy source of water I can approach for many moons.” Nameless thought idly.
Once his thirst was satiated – and then some – he sat on his haunches and looked over his shoulder, keeping his wing tucked to his body so as not to obscure his sight, “Now I have but one thing to decide. Do I leave now, while my siblings yet sleep? Or do I wait for them to wake and break away from them after?”
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Sarcosuchus* - (Sɑːrkoʊˈsuːkəs) Fun Fact: The Sarcosuchus was amongst the largest of the - now extinct - crocodilian ancestors, measuring in at 9-9.5 meters (or 29.5-31.2 FU or Freedom Units).