Cole had always wondered what would happen to him if he ever died. His mother was a Christian, and he did believe in God, but he wasn’t completely sure of where he would go. When the darkness enveloped him, as he lost consciousness, he was anxious about what he would see next. That’s if he ended up seeing anything at all.

Would he be in the land of milk and honey the pastor always talked about or would he end up in the furnace that would melt him for eons? The first was for saints and those who paid their tithes on Sundays. The latter, he knew from his bible lessons, were for murderers, thieves, and those who took their own lives.

Liberation was not one of the emotions Cole felt when he saw Susan over him instead of a lake of fire. To say that he was happy to be alive instead of burning forever would be a stretch. It would be like groping for something in the darkness. Something you couldn’t see and weren’t even sure existed. No, he wasn’t happy but he was relieved.

Mostly because when his mother came home she didn’t say anything about his suicide attempt. Frank kept his promise after all and even though Cole would never forgive him it was a step in the right direction. Frank saved him from doing something that would’ve destroyed his mother. As Cole reflected, he thought of how cruel it would be to trade his crippled state for an eternity of torture.

There was a knock at his door. He assumed it was Susan.

“Come in,” he said.

“Good morning.” She was in uniform even though his mother told her she could dress casually. It was of high quality and even seemed tailored to her slim physique. How was she going to manage him if they were of the same build?

“Good morning.”

“I came to get you ready.”

He almost forgot that his mother wanted to take him out today. It was more like an order instead of a request. Cole was uncomfortable with the idea. Despite his limitations, he liked it here in his room. It was familiar, safe, and free of judgment. The outside world, however, was the complete opposite. It was filled with stares, condescension, and pity.

He had a strong distrust towards the world, one he couldn’t explain. He wasn’t sure at which point he began thinking like this. It just happened, maybe in a flash or maybe slowly as time passed. But one thing he did know was that it was staying even though his mother was trying to drive it out. In the end, he ended up appeasing her simply because she would not give up.

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

“Oh, right.” Cole spun his chair around to face her. “It’s okay, I can bathe myself. You don’t need to worry.”

She didn’t look convinced. “That’s what they always say.”

“I mean it. I’m fine.”

“Well, it’s my job to take care of you.” She had the towels and clothes ready in her hand. “I can close my eyes if you want, even though it would make everything harder.”

“I’m not really…” He studied her and then sighed. “You’re not going to let me do this myself, are you?” She shook her head. “Fine. You can help me get into the tub and I’ll take it from there. At least meet me halfway with this.”

“Sure.”

She attempted to wheel him into the bathroom but he pushed off before she could grab the chair. Once in the bathroom, he took off his shirt and she helped to remove his shorts. When she was about to take off his underpants he stopped her and after a brief moment, she continued to help him in the tub without comment. She put everything he needed within reach and then left.

Cole never knew bathing could be so hard. He was used to hopping in the shower for a quick wash and being back out in no time. Now he had to twist and turn his body at awkward angles to reach all the places needed. It felt like it was hours later before he was done. He called Susan to help him get out of the tub and also to dry himself. She was patient as she helped him get dressed and she seemed to be two steps ahead at every turn. She was doing things without him even mentioning it, and he was done a lot faster than he anticipated.

His mom came in and kissed him on the cheek. “How’re you doing, sweetie?”

“I’m fine mom.” He noticed beads of sweat on her forehead and her hair was pulled into a ponytail. He summed up that she had been out running. Even though he didn’t join her often, he missed the feeling.

“Are you ready to go?” She tossed his hair until it looked right. Her fine fingers felt comforting. So did her smile and beaming green eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Great I’m glad you changed your mind. By the way, your friend stopped by to see you. But since we’re on our way out, I invited him to come with us.”

Cole thought he imagined the last part of her statement. “Who?”

“Daniel.”

Cole’s brows furrowed and he looked away. He could call Daniel many things, but a friend wasn’t one of them. Memories and emotions began to bubble to the surface, but Cole pushed them back before they could ruin his mood. He saw Daniel as they went to the front door. The blond boy sat in the living room, his body filling up the entire sofa chair. Daniel was staring at the floor and turned when he heard the chair’s wheel. He smiled when he saw Cole but Cole couldn’t bring himself to do the same.

“Hey, man, how’re you doing?” He asked.

“I’m good, thanks for stopping by.” Cole looked at his mother. “Mom we have to hurry so we can beat the crowd.”

“Sure, hun.” She opened the front door and wheeled him out.

Cole rolled up to the car as his mother gave Susan instructions for locking up the house while they were gone. Initially, Susan was going with them but his mother said the nurse could stay since Cole wouldn’t need anything. Or so they hoped. Daniel attempted to help Cole get into the car, but Cole insisted his mother could handle it. The car was quiet as they drove to the park. When Daniel finally realized there would be no words between, them he resorted to his phone for entertainment.