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Chapter 8.1. How it feels to...

Avoiding the guards’ sight, Cerridwen scoured the other boards of Annihilator. She never stayed in one place for longer than an hour. She hid in the repair corridors, stores and machine rooms. Reaching the middle levels, where the command centre was located, took her two days, but she kept away from that site. It was too well guarded for her to sneak there unnoticed.

She holed up in a tiny store filled with boxes and barrels. She had a good view of the crowded corridor from here. Cerridwen tried to keep a watch for Antares among the many Celestians but after a few hours, she quit. Pretending to be one of the crew members, she left her hiding place and blended within the crowd.

Watching the area carefully, the Celestian girl passed the forks, bridges and corridors. She turned around when somebody shouted something unclear. Before she understood it, someone hit her flank so hard that she staggered.

“Watch your step!” growled Antares. Then he recognised the person in his way. Frowning, he clenched his fists. “Wait, what the hell are you doing here!?”

“Me?” asked Cerridwen and shrugged, holding her shoulder. “Nothing.” She stepped back and attempted to run, but Antares grabbed her arm.

“Shouldn’t you be sitting in your billet now?”

“Maybe you should tell your men to watch me better,” she interposed, struggling. Anxiety gripped her muscles, but faking the bravery she didn’t have, she tried to pretend to be the stronger opponent. “Get off!”

Antares shook his head and hissed, “You must be here only to piss me off all the time.” He walked towards the lift, dragging the wrestling Celestian girl. He tapped the button, waiting until the door opened. After a while, she stopped fighting and glanced at him.

“Okay, I’ll tell you what I’m doing here,” she said.

“Enlighten me.”

“I was looking for you.”

“Really?” he mocked, raising his eyebrow. “What do you need the Commander of Independent Zetherion Army for?”

The indicator of the lift resounded, but he did not go inside.

Cerridwen narrowed her eyes and tilted her head “You need me, right?”

“If I didn’t need you as a source of information, I would have kicked you out a long time ago.”

She straightened up and firmed her hands, trying to control their trembling. “Speaking of information, I want to know something too.”

“First of all,” said Antares, scowling, “change your tone.”

Cerridwen glanced at the floor and sighed. Taking a deep breath, she crunched her finger joints. She repeated with a vein of contempt, “Would you like to provide me with some information, Sir?”

“No.”

“But you’re,” she began angrily but instantly toned down her voice, “I mean, you owe me. Twice. And debts have to be cleared. You are in my due, Sir. Doubly.”

Antares scowled at her words and exhaled. Damn you, clever creature, he cursed her in his mind. He leaned towards her and whispered, “If you want to know it so badly, come on.”

He led her to the same place where they met two days ago. He turned the light on and locked the door. With crossed hands, he sat at the table.

“Sit down,” he said.

Cerridwen moved the chair away and sat on it. She tried not to show any emotions, so her face resembled a stone. She took several deep breaths so she could speak in the same, neutral tone all the time. She rested her hands on her knees to hide their trembling.

“All I wanted was for you to stay in one place,” he began, scowling at her. “I’ll tell you right now, don’t even try to be up to something. I’ll repay my favours, and we part our ways.”

“I told you everything I knew,” she protested, crossing her legs under the table.

“How can I be sure?” Antares swung his hand. “You came out of nowhere, you are in contact with one of the most important SynthBreed people and now you question me about the top-secret information on which our missions depend.”

“I’ll be honest because I need this cooperation,” she said. She leaned across, clenching her fingers. “I know nothing more. I want only my repayment.”

Antares put his hands on the tabletop and looked into her eyes. Although a cold shudder ran down her back, she endured his look.

“Tell me what you want and finish these games,” he growled. He felt ashamed of himself, but her attitude made him consider her a worthy opponent.

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Cerridwen gulped. The name she was going to utter ignited the same revulsion, pure hatred and shattering pain in her every single time. Frowning and scowling at the Celestian, she inhaled the chilly air which refreshed her mind to some extent.

“Where is Seth Felvennis?” she asked in a quiet, bland voice.

Antares switched on his LiqWatch and started tapping the screen, searching for the right data. His moves were slow and laborious as if he was doing something he hated. After a while, he raised his head. “The source of his last signal came from the Irkheor territory.”

Cerridwen’s pupils dilated. The feeling that this message gave her was like euphoria after a perfect strike. The plan for revenge was no longer a spectre, it had become clearer, taking shape slowly in her mind. She imagined the sight of her approaching victory. The day of her personal judgement was inevitably drawing closer to Seth. She only had to get into that place with Antares’s help.

“Where is it?”

Antares looked at the ceiling and answered, “Somewhere behind the… Viridovix line.”

She narrowed her eyes in suspicion. “I’ve never heard of this planet.”

“No wonder. Actually, it’s just rocks, sulphur and cyclones. There’re no inhabited settlements or cities, only destroyed and dead ruins,” he explained, propping his chin on his hand. “The only place worth its attention is the Narjahanam fortress.”

The Celestian girl gripped the edge of the tabletop. “I want to go there.”

Antares looked down and sighed. The corner of his lips lifted as if he were laughing noiselessly. “Believe me, you don’t”

“Why?” she asked, spreading her fingers. “I have an important thing to do there, that…”

“We don’t go there on a trip,” he broke in, frowning, “but on a war.”

Cerridwen crossed her arms and said, “It doesn’t change the fact that…”

“Do you even know what the war is like?” Antares put his fist on the table.

The Celestian girl nodded. “I saw it in the news so many times.”

“And you believed them?” He smiled with incredulity. “Total rubbish.”

“How can you say that?” She twisted her lips incredulously.

“Every thinking creature knows that all what the Union shows in news is just a propaganda to make them look good,” he said gazing at the tabletop. He hid his hands under the table when his fingers started quivering. “I know because I was there.”

Cerridwen wanted to say something, but she tightened her lips and stopped. Antares’s behaviour changed as if some distant memory overwhelmed his mind. His sight became vacant, only a gleam of dismay appeared in his eyes.

“Anyway, I must find Felvennis,” said Cerridwen, and Antares raised his eyes.

He straightened up, but his breath was still heavy and hoarse. He sighed and swallowed. “Why do you care about him so much?”

Cerridwen had not predicted this part of the conversation. She feared how she would react at the mention of her brother. She had not expressed any emotions so far so as to not give the impression of being a victim, but fuelled by pain, her wrath boiled in her veins as if her blood had become caustic acid. She sprang out of her chair, pushing it away with a scrape.

“I told you not to ask me anything further!” she screamed. “You don’t know how it feels, so you have no right to talk to me about that! Have you ever lost the most important person in your life?”

She quieted, panting and scowling at the Celestian.

Taking a deep breath, Antares gazed up. “Yes,” he answered. He stood up and circled the table, stopping behind her back. “Not just one. And not only people but also my home and the entire planet, the world I loved.”

Cerridwen turned around and looked at him with astonishment as if she’d seen an apparition. She continued looking at him, waiting for further explanations.

Antares carried on, even though he had no idea why he took a stranger into his confidence, “It happened overnight. I went to sleep that evening, confident that the next day won’t be any different than the previous.” He gripped his arms. “I was wrong. In the middle of the night, at exactly fourteen past three, a wail of alarm sirens woke me up. I heard it for the first time in my life. It could mean only one thing. Invasion. I sprang out of my bed, grabbed the first weapon at hand and ran out on the street. And my father...” The Celestian snorted angrily. “Of course, instead of defending our planet with me, he escaped through the sewers, just like a rat.” He glanced at the ceiling. “Then I saw them. Giant shadows, bigger than clouds, and flying out of them, smaller shining objects. I ran ahead straightaway. I heard the dull explosions and gunfights so I headed towards them. Before I fired even one bullet, they got me from the back and took me down.” His laugh had no vein of joy. “And I, like every decent Zetherionian, wanted to die fighting for my planet, not playing the paperchase or hiding in the corners of the galaxy as I’m doing now.”

Cerridwen listened to his every word, grimacing with disbelief. She tried to imagine what he had been through. She caught herself gifting her forced ally a bit of compassion.

“So, you know,” she asked, leaning forward, “how it feels to lose everything?”

“I didn’t just lose everything. They took it away,” he said and breathed out, still looking at the door, “but yes, I know how it feels. I gave up my life to the war to free Zetherion.” He stretched his fingers and then clenched it, bringing to mind all his reasons to hate the Union. “And even if I have to die for it, I’ll stop at nothing. I’m ready to wipe out every single planet in this universe by myself to annihilate this pest.”

“So am I. Ready to find Felvennis,” broke in Cerridwen. She did not see Antares’s face, but she noticed his trembling fists and heard his shallow breathing.

“Anyway, you stay on the Annihilator,” he said, turning his head. “Why?” she interposed, lifting her eyebrows.

“I’ll need you.” Antares pointed to her. “I’m sure you know more than what you are telling. Besides, I bet you would die on the real battlefield before you even leave the ship. You would only distract us.” He grabbed her arm but not as violently as before. “And now, go back to your billet and don’t even try to escape. I’ll assign you an extra guard.” “Fine,” she mumbled.

“If you haven't learned yet, you're supposed to answer, yes, Sir.”

Cerridwen just rolled her eyes. Antares drew her out into the corridor and stopped in front of the door. He touched his LiqWatch to the reader and yanked the door handle, but the mechanism stuck. He eyed Cerridwen and let go of her arm. He pulled the door one more time. It moved little by little and closed shut. Antares closed his LiqWatch to the device again, but when he turned around, no one was there. He looked at the passing crew members.

“Where are you?” he growled, observing the corridor.

The Celestian girl had disappeared as if she’d vanished into thin air, but he was too busy to run after the escapee. A whole lot of other duties were waiting for him. He would order someone else to search.

Cerridwen deactivated the magnetic boots for a moment and, taking advantage of the lack of gravity, she leapt under the ceiling. Turning the magnets on, she clung to the ceiling and crawled behind a thick pipe. With a flicker of triumph, she watched as Antares walked away, simmering in anger. She praised herself for another successful escape. She jumped down and ran ahead.