''...This doesn't seem like a good idea...''

The endless night were filled with turmoil, I felt a deep sense of dread, as if I were teetering on the edge of an abyss. The thought of engaging in illegal activities haunted me. Weighing the thin line between despair and fear, I was constantly tormented by my conscience.

Watching his figure huddled on the worn wooden bed, wrapped in a thin blanket that couldn't possibly keep him warm, my heart ached.

It can't go on like this forever.

The following morning, I presented my poppy smuggling plan to Dylan. Surprisingly, he agreed without hesitation, like a moth drawn to a flame, completely oblivious to the potential consequences.

A few months have passed since I started this illegal work, our lives have become better. Meals have been supplemented with other foods such as bread, jam and even meat.

Looking back, I can see now that this was the right choice.

"We have harvested quite a lot today"

Dylan surprised me with a basket full of different types of poppies. He worked hard today. With this full basket, we can definitely afford a good meal and perhaps some new clothes to wear.

Usually, herbs are sold in the market, to certain people who need them such as pharmacists or infirmary. But to sell poppies, I have to go to the capital.

The black market in the dark corners of the capital is where illegal activities take place in the dark. Traders from across the land converge here, their wares ranging from the ordinary to the extraordinary. Among the traders, you might encounter enigmatic mages, mercenaries, or mysterious wanderers bearing rare and valuable treasures.

The black market is a place where you can buy things you don't think are real. Lost artifacts, forbidden magic scrolls, the black market has it all. The only reason this place still exists is because there is rumored that the royal family often visits here. Maybe they are looking for something to strengthen the army.

It takes about five hours if walk, I usually leave early in the morning and return late in the afternoon. The capital was a bustling place compared to the tranquility of the countryside, the people here also have a different way of life, as if stepping into a higher level of civilization. The extravagance of the upper class. I have long dreamed of owning a home in the capital, where I believe I could have a better life. But a dream will always just be a dream.

To get to the black market, I have to go past the fountain in the square, into the small alley beside the popular tavern. At the end of the alley, there is a set of stairs leading downward.

The road delved into a long, dark tunnel, its entrance obscured by a tangled web of hanging wires and flanked by rows of ominous warning signs. As I ventured deeper, faint figures began to emerge, like wandering ghosts in the darkness. A vibrant atmosphere suddenly enveloped the marketplace as traders from far and wide engaged in lively exchanges.

Hidden in the shadowy depths of the black market, the small tavern was a quiet place. Yet it was a hub for secret information from all over the land, the center of a vast network that silently spread beneath the great empire.

As always, the figure of a man in a mysterious cloak was present at the small table in the corner. He, a close associate, frequently purchasing large quantities of poppies.

Quietly approached, I took a seat across from him. His silence was deafening, punctuated only by a scornful curl of his lip as he kept his gaze glued to the handbag by my side.

"I was thinking...why don't you just tell me where you picked those poppies? It would save us both a lot of time"

"...Unfortunately, that's something I can't share. You know, everyone has to make a living...''

Reclining in his chair, he concealed his penetrating gaze beneath a dark hood.

"Very well. But a young one such as yourself shouldn't be getting involved in this kind of matter. Sooner or later you're going to get into trouble..."

Nodding slightly, I passed him the small bags filled with poppies. The transaction was swift as usual. With a solitary turn, he departed, vanishing as silently as a phantom.

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At first, it was quite difficult. Thought I was quite stupid to rush into a place full of strangers.

But luckily, on my first wander, I bumped into Amir, the owner of the small tavern in this area. He was a great help with the smuggling business, and in return, I shared a small portion of the profit from the connections he provided. I also often helped out with chores at his place.

"How much did you make today?"

Turning around, I caught Amir's gaze fixed on me from behind the bar. He was a cheerful and approachable person, with strange orange hair. The long years in Isdore had faded the marks of an outsider, molding him into a local.

"...Not much...probably enough to cover a few small meals and buy necessities. Poppies can't always be picked...they only bloom seasonally..."

"But don't you have anything else to do. This place is not for children, you know that right?"

I didn't tell Amir everything about myself, including the fact that I was an orphan. For me, losing my parents was the greatest shame.

"...It's none of your business"

"Anyway. I heard the royal is summoning the army"

"A summoning order?"

"Yes. Every family will have to enlist at least one person, preferably a male. The army is in dire need of manpower as mages are becoming increasingly rare."

Leaned over the bar, my voice low and serious as I met his gaze.

"Are you serious? Are there any conditions?"

"Above ten years old is qualified"

"They're using children? That's crazy!"

Remained unfazed, his fingers continuing to drum a steady beat on the table.

"Maybe they'll train them as spies...I don't support this anyway"

"You're going to the battlefield too?"

"Me? I'm an immigrant. The summons only apply to people from the empire."

...This applies to me and Dylan. He's going to have to join the army even though he's only twelve?

"Is there any way to avoid the summon?"

Shook the glass in his hand, the wine within swirled gently. He remained silent before letting out a light, mocking laugh.

"They will send knights to every place to recruit people. Unless you remove your name from the list or leave the empire, then maybe."

A heavy silence suddenly fell between us. It was cruel to think about.

"You said you have a younger brother, right? He will probably have to join the army"

"Ah, yes. I know..."

"...I hope the boy is mentally prepared"

"I...will talk to him. Thanks you for sharing this information."

"Well..."

Hesitated, his eyes filled with a hint of sorrow as he looked at me.

"...If you can't sustain the poppy business, you can work here...I'll pay you a fair price"

"...Thank you...really..."

"It's okay. Take care..."

I detested those eyes, be they scornful or sympathetic. Whether his kindness stemmed from pity or empathy, his gaze felt like daggers piercing my heart, made me shrink into myself, consumed by self-doubt.

Leaving the tavern, my heart was heavy with grief as I thought about the possibilities of a cruel reality.

***********************

Returned home with a cloud of anxiety in heart. The feeling of restlessness was unbearable. I could go in his place, but who would take care of him.

Oliva's name crossed my mind, but I couldn't bring myself to burden her with my problems. She wasn't from the wealthy class nor was she really close to me. She was just a kind person from the same village who still had two younger siblings to raise. Her life has been tough enough.

The familiar path seemed distant as my mind were in turmoil, every thought a raging wave crashing into my consciousness. The way back seems longer than ever. By the time I returned to the village, it was late, only small lights cast shadows on the time-worn walls.

There is so much to worry about. Just when I thought life was getting a little better.

Suddenly, a column of smoke rose from the depths of the forest, accompanied by strange screams. Without a moment's hesitation, urged on by an unseen power, I rushed towards the fire.

Dylan stood there, tears streaming down his bruised face. The wooden pail shook in its grasp, droplets of water scattered across the dry ground. Ran to his side, I was shocked by the scene before me. The house was engulfed in flames. Furniture, money, all our possessions were reduced to ash.

"What the hell is going on!?"

He stuttered, could not form words, trying to wipe away the tears on his battered face.

"There was a group of strangers...they came to ask for poppies. When I said we didn't have any...they burned down the house..."

"Why didn't you tell them where we picked it!?"

"I did! But they still beat me!- And then they robbed...I-I...."

His body shaking with painful fear, voice choked with each sob. The fire raged out of control, burning the house madly. Quickly joining other villagers, with a small bucket of water in hand, I desperately threw water on the fire.

I was aware of the dangers when participating in dangerous illegal activities. But I never imagined they could be so cruel. A bunch of savages.

What have we done to deserve these

All these burdens, all these responsibilities.

Just why

The seconds dragged on, feeling like hours, the fire finally went out. Knelt down on the dusty ground, unable to hold back the tears that flowed unconsciously. In front of me, the house was burned black, nothing left but a pile of smoldering ashes.

These misfortunes, was like a curse. Children like us, without parents, not enough food and clothes, now have nowhere to call home.

There were times when I thought about death. That in this miserable life, no matter how hard I tried. Even just to survive was tiring.

Right now, I just want to let go of everything.

But as Dylan's small, wounded warmth embraced me, his face bruised with pain. I remembered why I kept standing up every time I fell. This little brother, if I left, he would be all alone.

I burst into tears in Dylan's arms. Humiliation, pressure, sadness, anger mixed together. They poured out like an unstoppable stream, a mixture of sorrow and rage that overwhelmed me.

If being born was a blessing, then why was my blessing so ugly?