''...This doesn't seem like a good idea...''

The endless night were filled with turmoil, I felt a deep sense of dread, as if I were teetering on the edge of an abyss. The thought of engaging in illegal activities haunted me. Weighing the thin line between despair and fear, I was constantly tormented by my conscience.

Watching his tiny figure huddled on the worn wooden bed, wrapped in a thin blanket that couldn't possibly keep him warm, my heart ached. The sight was heartbreaking.

I couldn't just sit still anymore.

The following morning, I presented my poppy smuggling plan to Dylan. Surprisingly, he agreed without hesitation, like a moth drawn to a flame, completely oblivious to the potential consequences. He was willing to gamble everything on a desperate hope.

A few months have passed since I started this illegal work, our lives have become better. Meals have been supplemented with other foods such as bread, jam and even meat.

Looking back, I can see now that this was the right choice.

"We have harvested quite a lot today"

Dylan surprised me with a basket full of different types of poppies. He worked hard today. With this full basket, we can definitely afford a good meal and perhaps some new clothes to wear.

Usually, herbs are sold in the market, to certain people who need them such as pharmacists or infirmary. But to sell poppies, I have to go to the capital.

The black market in the dark corners of the capital is where illegal activities take place in the dark. Traders from across the land converge here, their wares ranging from the ordinary to the extraordinary. Among the traders, you might encounter enigmatic mages, mercenaries, or mysterious wanderers bearing rare and valuable treasures.

The black market is a place where you can buy things you don't think are real. Lost artifacts, forbidden magic scrolls, the black market has it all. The only reason this place still exists is because there is rumored that the royal family often visits here.

Maybe they are looking for something to strengthen the army.

It takes about five hours if walk, I usually leave early in the morning and return late in the afternoon. The capital was a bustling place compared to the tranquility of the countryside, the people here also have a different way of life. I have long dreamed of owning a home in the capital, where I believe I could have a better life, but a dream will always just be a dream.

The black market is located beneath the capital. To get there, I have to go past the fountain in the square, into the small alley beside the popular tavern. At the end of the alley, there is a set of stairs leading downward.

The entrance was crisscrossed with hanging wires and warning signs on both sides of the road, creating a sense of unpredictable danger, sending a shiver down the spine of anyone who dared to enter.

The road was a long dark tunnel, as I went deeper inside, shadows of people began to appear. A vibrant atmosphere enveloped the marketplace as traders from far and wide engaged in lively exchanges.

At first, it was quite difficult. Thought I was quite stupid to rush into a place full of strangers. But luckily, on my first wandering, I bumped into Amir. He was the owner of a small tavern in this area. Amir helped me a lot with the smuggling business, and in return, I shared a small portion of the profit from the connections he provided. I also often helped out with chores at his place.

Hidden in the shadowy depths of the black market, the small tavern was a quiet place, yet it was a hub for secret information from all over the land, the center of a vast network that silently spread beneath the great empire. The long years in Isdore had faded the marks of an outsider, molding him into a local.

"You are really hardworking."

Amir was a cheerful and approachable person, with strange orange hair.

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"Is that a compliment…"

Stopping wiping the counter, I turned my gaze towards him.

''How much did you make today?''

"...not much...probably enough to eat and buy necessities. Poppies can't always be picked, you know...they only bloom seasonally..."

"You know, this place is not for children. Don't you have anything else to do?"

I didn't tell Amir everything about myself, including the fact that I was an orphan. For me, losing parents was the biggest shame.

"It's none of your business"

He let out a light, mocking laugh.

"You know...I heard the royal is summoning the army"

"A summoning order?"

"Yes. Every family will have to enlist at least one person, preferably a male. The army is in dire need of manpower. Mages are becoming increasingly rare."

I leaned over the bar, my voice low and serious as I met his gaze.

"Are you serious? Are there any conditions?"

"Above ten years old is qualified"

He replied with an indifferent face.

"They're using children? That's crazy!"

Amir remained unfazed, his fingers continuing to drum a steady beat on the table.

"Maybe they'll train them as spies. I don't support this anyway"

"You're going to the battlefield too?"

"Me? I'm an immigrant. The summons only apply to people from the empire."

...This applies to me and Dylan. He's going to have to join the army even though he's only twelve?

"Is there any way to avoid the summon?"

Amir thought for a long time, shaking the glass in his hand. The wine within swirled gently.

"They will send knights to every place to recruit people. Unless you remove your name from the list or leave the empire, then maybe."

A heavy silence suddenly fell between us. It was cruel to think about.

"You said you have a younger brother, right? He will probably have to join the army"

"Ah, yes. I know..."

"...I hope the boy is mentally prepared"

"I...will tell him. Thanks for sharing this information."

"Well..."

Amir hesitated, his eyes filled with a hint of sorrow as he looked at me.

"...if you can't sustain the poppy business, you can work here...I'll pay you a fair price"

"...Thank you...really..."

"It's okay. Take care..."

Whether his kindness stemmed from pity or empathy, his gaze felt like daggers piercing my heart. I detested those eyes, be they scornful or sympathetic. His gaze made me shrink into myself, consumed by self-doubt.

Leaving the tavern, my heart was heavy with grief as I thought about the possibilities of a cruel reality.

***********************

I returned home with a cloud of anxiety in heart. The feeling of restlessness was unbearable. I feared the royal family would come to my village and take Dylan away.

I could go in his place, but who would take care of him.

Oliva's name crossed my mind, but I couldn't bring myself to burden her with my problems. She wasn't from the wealthy class nor was she really close to me. She was just a kind person from the same village who still had two younger siblings to raise.

The way back seems longer than ever.

My mind was a whirlwind of emotions, every thought a raging wave crashing into my consciousness. When I got back to the village, it was already late at night. Today, I walked slower than usual.

There is so much to worry about. Just when I thought life was getting a little better.

Suddenly, a column of smoke rose from the depths of the forest, accompanied by strange screams. Fear surged through me as I raced towards the source.

Dylan stood there, tears streaming down his bruised face. He had been beaten again, by whom. I ran to his side, shocked at the scene before me. The house was engulfed in flames, Furniture, money, all our possessions were reduced to ash.

His hands trembled uncontrollably as he threw buckets of water onto the flames, desperate to put it out.

"What the hell is going on!?"

Dylan looked at me, trying to wipe away the tears on his battered face. He stuttered, could not form words.

"There was a group of strangers...they came to ask for poppies. When I said we didn't have any...they burned down the house..."

"Why didn't you tell them where we picked it!?"

"I did! But they still beat me! And then they robbed...burned down the house...I...I...."

His body shaking with painful fear, his voice choked with each sob. The fire raged out of control, burning the house madly. I quickly joining other villagers, with a small bucket of water in hand, desperately threw water on the fire.

I was aware of the dangers when participating in dangerous illegal activities. But I never imagined they could be so cruel. A bunch of savages.

What did we do to deserve this?

The more fierce the fire burned, the more anger rose in my heart.

All these burdens, all these responsibilities.

After about two hours, the fire finally went out. I knelt down on the dusty ground, can not hold back the tears flowing unconsciously. In front of me, the house was burned black, nothing left but a pile of smoldering ashes.

These misfortunes, was like a curse. Children like us, without parents, not enough food and clothes, now no place to live.

There were times when I thought about death, that in this miserable life, no matter how hard I tried. Even just to survive was tiring.

Right now, I just want to let go of everything.

But as Dylan's small, wounded warmth embraced me, his face bruised with pain. I remembered why I kept standing up every time I fell. This little brother, if I left, he would be all alone.

I burst into tears in Dylan's arms. Humiliation, pressure, sadness, anger mixed together. They poured out like an unstoppable stream, a mixture of sorrow and rage that overwhelmed me.

If being born was a blessing, then why was my blessing so ugly?