Spring semester was over, and the summer semester hadn't started yet. Robert had already moved in. He'd gotten up early and driven to Waterloo from his parent's home in Burlington. As a result, he'd already finished setting up his room before most of the other people in his residence.
The University of Waterloo campus was an odd place in May. Most campuses would be empty in the summer — offering a small subsection of their core curriculum for students who wanted to get ahead or repeat something, but Waterloo was different. The reason for this was the school's co-op program. Students in the departments of Mathematics, Engineering, Kinesiology, Environmental Studies, Science and even some of the Arts majors who were enrolled in co-op would have a schedule of one semester in college, one semester as a paid intern at a job in their field, and then another semester of college. Classes and work-study programs would alternate every semester until co-op students got their degree.
It was the perfect Canadian May. Sunshine with just a hint of chill in the air.
Right now, he and his friends: Neil, Ahmed, Sarah, Leslie, and Akiko were playing touch football. Girls vs. boys. Nobody was really taking the game seriously. Kendrick Lamar and Beyonce were blasting from the stereo Sarah's window, and someone, probably Leslie had left a cooler of ice and Gatorade for people to drink. Niel, of course, had suggested that the game be shirts vs. skins, but then Neil was something of a perv and, of course, the girls had quickly voted that idea down.
A nerf football came flying through the air and nearly hit him in the face.
"Pay attention Rob," yelled Ahmed
Robert bent down and picked up the foam football and jogged back to Ahmed. "Sorry dude," he said.
"What's up with you today?" Ahmed asked. "It's like you're completely out of it."
"Just thinking about the upcoming semester. Not really in the mood for football." Robert replied.
Sarah came up to them, and said: "Sounds like you're just making excuses about having your ass handed to you by a bunch of girls."
"Hey that isn't fair, Leslie is a kinesiology major. That's almost like being a ringer," Ahmed said.
"You guys need the exercise. And the sunlight," Leslie said as everyone gathered up
"I thought we were just throwing the ball around," he said, "I wasn't aware there was any winning or losing involved."
"There is always winning and losing involved, but right now I'll just be happy if all of you get your daily dose of vitamin D. Did you spend your entire coop term indoors?" Leslie replied.
Akiko drifted over, she didn't say much, she never did. There were only a handful of times when he'd heard her say over 50 words at a time during the entire 2 years he'd known her. One of those rare occasions had been when he'd bumped into her during a long bus ride to Toronto and they had actually managed to have a long conversation. She'd been part their group ever since the first semester when she'd been Sarah's roommate.
"I still say this would have been more fun if it had been shirts vs. skins, and mixed teams, or with the guys as the shirts," Neil said.
"You talk big Neil. But my sources tell me you still wear your underwear in the shower." Sarah said.
Seeing as he'd told that bit of gossip to Sarah, Robert put the football down in the grass. "I'm kind of sick of this. I'd rather sit on the patio and listen to music. Who wants to go to the Bombshelter for a beer or two? I'll pay for the first pitcher of Rickard's Red."
There was a chorus of "Why not," and "Sure," and "It's cuz you're getting whooped by girls, right?" And with that quick agreement, they agreed to meet up in ten minutes between the buildings.
Robert went up to his dorm room, took off the sweaty t-shirt he'd been wearing. Applied a little deodorant to his pits. Squirted some Aqua di Gio to spruce up his sweat. Then put on a reasonably clean button-up shirt that somehow managed to pass the sniff test. His mom must have done his laundry last night and hadn't mentioned it.
Walking down the hallway from The Loft — the name of his floor — he went down the stairs past the cafeteria, and then out the doors infant of the covered walkway.
Robert and most of his friends lived in an Anglican based student housing. Which sounded worse than it actually was. He wasn't religious, but he fit right in. Sure there was the occasional prayer before more formal meals, and there was a small chapel just down the hallway from where he slept, but otherwise, it was a typical school dorm.
His parents had talked him into living here. Said that the environment would foster community. Which it had. Robert suspected they hoped he would somehow find religion. Which it hadn't. He had more friends around the dorm than from his own program. And a suspicious number of his friends had parents who were in the Episcopal clergy. Mostly, though, he stayed here year after year because it was only a three-minute walk to his classes because the food in the cafeteria was good and because they had installed gigabit ethernet last year.
Waiting for everyone else to show up, he chatted with a few of the people moving between the buildings. People he hadn't seen since the last time he was on campus. Amy said, "Hey," but couldn't talk. He and Roberta did their little thing where he said, "Robert" and she said "Robert" with a pause then "a" and then they hugged. Reverend Bob, the director of students for the dorm, asked him if he was settled in yet, and he was. Fiorello stopped by to obsess for a bit about the Buffalo Sabers.
A few minutes later Neil and Ahmed drifted in together. "Hey Robert, we're thinking about getting a regular D&D game going. You interested?"
"Maybe. Last school semester was kind of hell. I don't know. It depends on the course load." Robert said.
The three of them waited around for the girls and Leslie, Sarah, and Akiko to show up. Neil and Ahmed were talking about D&D, while Robert spoke to people he hadn't seen in a while.
Robert blushed when he saw Claudia coming his way carrying some suitcases, and he stammered a hello. She looked at him oddly and said hello back. They'd never really gotten to know each other, but over the summer he'd accidentally discovered the website where she'd been working as a camgirl. He hadn't told anyone. Wasn't even sure if he should tell her about what he'd seen. And frankly, he was both confused and turned on by the whole thing.
"What's up with that," Neil said to Robert who was watching Claudia walk away.
"What?" He said.
"That. That blush, that stammer. What's her name. Kath, no… Claudia, right? Does someone have a bit of a crush? Are you thinking about hooking up with a Mexican hottie?"
"She's Columbian, Neil. No. I don't know. I barely know her."
"You can't win if you don't play. Robert, be like Neil. Be a player." Neil said.
"First of all, Neil, you sound like an ass talking about yourself in the third person. Secondly, if they ranked everything in the world by order of game, you would be standing in line behind three-week dead roadkill."
"Robert, you wound me. Besides, depending on the season, the position of the sun and the kind of asphalt used, roadkill can get pretty hot. Don't forget, Julie gave me a blow job at the Christmas party."
Ahmed, said, "Julie's given everyone on our floor a blow job at one time or another. She doesn't count."
It was then that Sarah, Leslie, and Akiko showed up.
"What are you guy's talking about," asked Sarah.
"Robert and his crush on Claudia," said Neil.
"I'm pretty sure she has a boyfriend." I said, "are we all ready?"
The Bombshelter was located in the student center, and that building was located about a five-minute walk from the dorm. There was a fenced in patio out back where Robert and his five friends found seating at a picnic table under a Labatt Blue patio umbrella.
"They have all these Labatt Blue umbrellas, but besides Earl, I don't think I've ever seen anybody drink a Labatt's blue. That's old man beer." Robert said.
"Wanna hear some gossip about Earl," Sarah said.
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
"What?"
"Cassie is friends with one of the guy's he lived last semester. Supposedly he buys raw liver and uses it to beat off into." Sarah said in hushed tones. "Supposedly he wraps the meat around his meat and pounds it like it is a vagina."
"No!"
"That can't be true."
"Right out of the fridge, all cold and stuff. That's gross."
"I'm sure he heats it up with a microwave first."
"Poor Earl."
"Yeah, and fucking livers isn't gross."
Robert actually liked earl and decided to change the topic before it got out of hand. "Looking forward to the semester to start?" Robert said.
"Yeah, I suppose," Neil said. "It is nice since I don't even have to leave the building to go to class." Neil was studying to be an Anglican minister, so he was taking a lot of social work classes. Most of his professors had their offices and classrooms on the bottom floor of the building he slept in. Sometimes he didn't even bother to get out of his pajamas to go to class.
"Pretty much, me too." Said, Leslie. "But I've got a lot of anatomy classes this semester, and those are always fun."
"Systems Eng is a lot of work this semester," Sarah said.
"Sarah, aren't you training to be just a glorified administrator?" claimed Ahmed when Robert and everyone else turned and stared at him. "What? I'm in architectural engineering. Clearly, that's the most useful and the hardest program here."
Sarah threw a napkin at Ahmed. "Your program used to be part of environmental studies, and half of your classes are about drawing pretty trees. You might as well be bob ross, man. I have to learn a bit out of every branch of engineering to understand how they work together."
"What about you, Akiko?" Neil said.
The thing about Neil was that he'd had this crush on Akiko for like forever. Which would have been fine, if that crush hadn't stemmed from having a helluva case of yellow fever. Neil had literally every Japanese AV porn video ever put on the internet, sitting on a hard drive in his computer. Add that to his Hentai, Manga, and tentacle smut collection and well… If he hadn't been such a good guy, and Akiko so oblivious, Neil would have been kind of creepy.
Robert had sworn to himself that if Neil bothered Akiko too much this semester, he'd take him out behind the dorm and beat the living shit out of him. Or at least have Leslie do it.
"Hard." Was all she said.
"I can imagine. You're a Pure Math major, aren't you?" Robert said.
"Is hard" she said again and then blushed and drank a sip of her beer. The only person who could really get Akiko to talk was Sarah. They had been friends and roommates since the first semester and had shared an apartment in Toronto last semester during their work semester. Sarah was 75% of the reason that Akiko hung out with them. Though from that bus ride home with her last year, Robert knew that the other 25% stemmed from a desire to break out of her shell.
The DJ put on a song by DJKhaled, and Robert got up and said, "Hey, I like this song. Anyone want to dance? Leslie? Sarah?"
Leslie stood and looked over at Sarah, who looked guilty but then gestured with her head at Neil and Akiko and said, "maybe later."
"Neil, don't be an ass," Robert said as he grabbed Leslie by the arm and dragged her to the dance floor.
Together Robert and Leslie bounced around to the music, and the two of them stayed up for the next few songs.
"Did you seriously try to Dab to Drake?" Asked Leslie as they walked back to their table.
"Yeah. Did it work?"
Leslie laughed, "No, but it was funny so I can't complain."
"My moves gotta please the ladies," Robert said. Then he said, "Wait a sec," and reached over and using some sleights of hand pulled a quarter from behind Leslie's ear."
"Seriously, Rob. How many times are you going to pull that lame trick?" Leslie laughed again. "If you are serious about Claudia I can maybe see about hooking you up. Or at least find out if she has a boyfriend."
"Naw, I'm good. Neil and Ahmed were just reading something that wasn't there."
They made their way back to the table and looking at Neil and Ahmed, Robert said, "Ladies, did we miss much?" And then he held Leslie's chair for her, before sitting down himself.
"We were trying to interest Sarah and Akiko in the D&D game. We said you would be playing." Ahmed said.
"And let me guess, Ahmed, they weren't interested? Because they are normal? Plus I never said I would be playing."
"Hey, I never said I wouldn't play," Sarah said, "I saw those D&D episodes of Community. It looked fun. Plus I would make an excellent Hector the Well Endowed."
Robert took a sip of his beer, and let the rest of the group prattle on about D&D and school. Neil had just said something about Annie's boobs, and the rest of the group was making fun of him.
The day eventually turned into evening. A couple more people from their dorm had wandered in and joined the group, and the beer had flowed well. Robert had gotten a whole lot drunker than he'd planned, and at around 9:00 pm when Sarah and Akiko got up to leave, he volunteered to walk with them.
"Awe, come on Rob, stay. Live a little. Class doesn't start for another three days."
"Fuck that Fio, I've been here since two. You just drifted in. I need to walk these ladies home, plus I'm sure I got some stuff I gotta read off of Royalroad after I sobered up a bit."
"Royal what?"
"Never mind. Just a site I go to sometimes." Robert said.
"I think I'll head out too. Without Sarah and Akiko, this table is turning into a bit of a sausage fest." Leslie added.
Neil had his head between his arms down on the table. There was a puddle of drool and spilled beer around his mouth. Robert said, "I think we'll drag Neil back too. He got cut off a half hour ago, and I can't believe they haven't kicked him out of here yet."
"Hold up, if you're all going, then I'm leaving too. The least I can do is help with Neil," said Ahmed.
He and Ahmed grabbed Neil by the arm each and led him out of the Bar. In the main room of the student center, they were playing a movie on a projection screen. It was Army of Darkness, and Ash was just saying Klaatu Barada Nikto all wrong.
Neil woke up and said, "Fucking god-damn lucky asshole Ash. I'd like to be taken to a world full of medieval babes to defeat the undead. That would be fucking awesome."
"Sure, Neil. Can you walk on your own Neil." Ahmed said.
"I think I'm gonna hurl." Said Neil.
"Wait until we get outside." Robert and Ahmed started dragging him quickly towards the door.
They just made it out the doors before Neil began to vomit into the landscaping. A couple of people who were passing by said, "Ew gross."
"You gotta learn how to pace yourself, buddy," Robert said.
"Fuck you, you were up there half the time dancing with the girls. You drank squat….. Blargh" Neil vomited again.
"Hey watch where you're aiming that thing," Ahmed said as he dodged puke blowback.
"Fuck you too. You're Muslim, you're not even supposed to be drinking at all."
Ahmed said "I'm pretty sure the Prophet said, 'Here's to responsibility. Twice a week.' Or some other mumbo jumbo about moderation."
"Actually, that was Stephanie Myers from Twilight." Said Sarah.
"Well, I'm not a very good Muslim then," Ahmed said with great sadness.
"Quit making fun of Ahmed's religion, Sarah," Robert said.
Leslie was howling with laughter at all of us by now. "Come on. Hurry up."
Neil tried to walk again but then fell into some bushes and it took the other five of them to pull him out. Then they began walking back to the Dorm.
"Let's just leave him in the Moose room," Robert said to Ahmed as they dragged him into the building. If he sobers up enough to get to his own room, that's his problem.
The Moose Room was the second biggest common room outside of the cafeteria. The room got its name from the giant moose head above the gas fireplace. There were a TV, pool table and plenty of comfy chairs and couches. Nobody was using the room when they got there… Robert and Ahmed just plopped Neil on a sofa and turned off the lights. Neil began to snore.
The girls had already gone off to their side of the building, "Wanna watch some TV?" Ahmed said.
"Thanks, but I think I'm gonna head up to my room. I've got some stuff to do on the internet." Robert said.
"Okay, night."
"Night."
Hours later, there was a twisting in space. A jolt. A cosmic shell game rearrangement…
And Robert woke up in darkness. He rolled over an looked at where his digital alarm should be, but it was off. He rolled over in his bed and pushed the curtains aside to look out into the courtyard at the dorm green, but all he could see was the blackness of night.
There were no stars in the sky. No streetlights on. He couldn't see the distant buildings of the college which even in his still buzzing state he was pretty sure had emergency generators and battery power. The only thing outside his window was darkness.
Robert rolled out of his bed and fumbled in the darkness for the tactical flashlight he kept in his desk. Turning it on, he looked around at his room and then made his way to the bathroom. After peeing, he realized that there was no pressure in the toilets, and the water didn't turn on.
Curious, Robert grabbed his keys and left his room and walked out into the hallway. He walked down the stairs. Passing the Moose Room, he saw that Neil was still asleep on the couch where they'd left him. Robert kept walking. Dressed in his bathrobe and holding his flashlight, he walked out the front door of the residence.
Outside standing under the Canadian flag and looking off into the distance, he could see no glow from the city. There were no cars driving down the street. From where he was standing, it looked like Westmount road was cut off.
Shining his flashlight all around, he happened to look up at the night sky trying to see the moon. Instead of over his head, the beams of the flashlight revealed stalactites covering the ceiling of the cave.
"Fuck," Robert said.
He thought about it. Thought about it a little bit more. After a few minutes, Robert came to two conclusions. Either someone had laced his beer with something, in which case Fuck-you Neil and this whole thing would eventually wear off. Or, he was out of his depth.
Taking a deep breath, Robert walked over to the girls' dorm and went up to Leslie's room.
Tapping lightly on Leslie's door. "Les. Les. Can I come in? It's urgent."
Robert heard groaning and shuffling behind the door. Then he heard Leslie say something unladylike as she must have tripped over something on the floor.
"Who is it?" Leslie said.
"It's Robert, can I come in. It's an emergency."
"Rob. Robert, I like you. You know I like you. We've been friends since first year. But I not like this."
"Leslie, I'm not here for a booty call. Can you just let me in? Or better yet, come out here. I gotta show you something."
"Okay. Just give me a minute. The power isn't working."
There was more cursing in the room, but eventually, Leslie opened the door holding a flashlight. It was one of those big mag lights you could use as a club.
Robert led Leslie outside. They didn't talk as they walked. Robert because he didn't know what to say, Leslie because she didn't want to wake up the girls on her floor.
Once they were between the two buildings Robert turned to Leslie and said, "Can you tell me something. Can you tell me if I'm crazy, but," and Robert shone the beam of his flashlight up onto the ceiling, "but are those stalactites? Then he shined the light of this flashlight against down Westmount road, "Leslie, does the road suddenly end in a wall? Leslie, are you seeing what I'm seeing?"
Together they walked out on the dorm green. In their bare feet, Robert in his bathrobe, Leslie in an extra-large t-shirt, they moved through the mown grass. Just past the forest and creek that ran parallel to the dorm, a jagged wall rose.
"Leslie, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore."
"Ontario. Leslie, I don't think we're in Ontario anymore."