That hole ain’t going anywhere. I flip to the back of the book for any mention of what I’m supposed to do now. But it starts with a spell and ends with one. And I may have just committed murder. I don’t know how people here feel about that kind of thing. I grab my few possessions and step around the black circle and close the door behind me. Down the stairs I nod at the barman who stares at me inquisitively. The sky is noticeably darker and the flickering lightning is closer. I hear overlapping rumbles of distant thunder and the wind has picked up. I cross over to Guy’s and purchase a pack along with some provisions. Jerky and a waterskin. Flint. Rope. I’m sure rope’s useful for something. Hunting knife. Fishing rod? Fuck no.

My pouch is a lot lighter. Only a few copper to spare. There’s a man in the road when I leave Guy’s who watches me and then calls for my attention. I approach him.

“That your handiwork, friend? That biggun high tailing it out of town?”

I consider my words carefully. I shrug.

“Maybe he just didn’t like the size of my knife.”

His attention moves to the knife hanging from my belt.

“Mmm-hmm. And his companions? Did they like it less than him?”

Now I consider my words even more carefully. The likelihood of me getting away with what I’ve done is quickly shrinking.

“I’m not sure if we’ll be seeing them again.”

I’m pleased with my response. It’s probably the most honest thing I could have said. And doesn’t necessarily imply I did anything illegal. He smiles.

“Well that’s good. That’s very good. I’m Legrange.”

He extends his large hand and I shake it. He has a thick red beard and long hair crowned by a freckled bald patch.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Say. Seems to me someone like you might be inclined to take on a little work. There’s coin to be had. And I’ll even throw in one of those horses I’ve recently acquired.”

There are two horses tied around side of the Laughing Dog. I assume I’ve just transferred their ownership.

“I don’t know anything about horses.”

“What’s to know? There’s saddles on their backs, and feed in their saddles. You ain’t going anywhere fast without one. And there’s nowhere around here you can get to unless you’re fast.”

“Yeah, where exactly is this place?”

His eyes look up and around and his brows curl.

“He weren’t kiddin’. Malvolio said you’d be... a little out of sorts .”

I feel my eyes squint. Yet another name I don’t know.

“He said he’d crossed you in the woods and you may need a little guidance.”

“Oh ya?”

I point up and twirl my finger.

“This normal?”

He glances up.

“The storm? What about it?”

“No need to worry then?”

“Not unless you don’t like a little rain.”

I get the feeling he’s just giving me the least amount of information possible.

“Right. It’s just that the old man said something about a hunter and… no? No connection?”

He puts his hands on his hips and nods slowly in thought.

“Ah. Well, I suppose there are hunters. I don’t go in the woods though. Folk here are mostly farmers. Not sure what any of that has to do with storms, mind you.”

I squeeze my coin pouch.

“You were saying, work?”

He explains that across the river and somewhere after some crossroad there’s an old cave. These brigands hold up there and there’s more of them. They raid caravans and harass the townsfolk and farmers but no one’s stood up to them. He tells me there may still be a handful of them. And he says I need to bring back ears as proof for payment. I tell him I’ll think about it.

The wind’s making it hard to hold a conversation at this point. And little fucker rain drops are starting to feel like pebbles on my face. I head back to The Laughing Dog thinking of ways to explain the hole I left in my room. At least I killed the bad guys. I think. The barman stares at me again but says nothing. I head upstairs and find the hole has vanished. Doesn’t seem to have spat anything back out either. So that’s good. The only evidence of anyone besides myself is the lingering smell of body odour. Like warm acrid onions. I push the window open and drop off my pack. I leave the door ajar and head back down with the book to order a pint. I sit at a table and sip while leafing through the pages. I don’t see anything about ears. I’m gonna need a new trick.

The rain’s coming down harder now and the thunder makes everything vibrate. I find myself feeling better. Maybe it's the beer. But no. It's everything. The beer and the room and the work. The purpose. I feel like I suddenly fit somehow. I look over at the barman who’s been wiping glasses since I arrived. I suppose I’d feel bad if I took away some of his business.

“Hey, you serve food?”

“Sausages.”

I nod and say nothing. The adrenaline’s worn off. That comfortable feeling is slipping. The beer tastes odd. My room smells. I have a few copper to my name and a pack full of things I may not need. I have no idea what’s going on. One moment confidence then the next uncertainty. My memory’s gone and I can’t get it back. And I can’t move forward not knowing where I’m coming from. The anxiety is building again and I can’t focus. Like something’s coming for me and I have nowhere to hide. Again there is a feeling of familiarity. The rain has slowed. I take long breaths and try to ease the tension in my chest. Foundation. That’s what I need. Something solid under my feet. And a goal. Something to work towards and look forward to. I need to keep moving because this world ain’t gonna change for me. I’ve got this book and an immediate solution to the money issue. It seems like a lot of ground to cover so baby steps. Head down. One foot at a time. Look up and see how far along I am. A second chance maybe to undo whatever landed me here as a vagrant or barfly.

The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

I don’t recognize the names for most of the reagents required for many of the spells. So I filter those out onto a list to look into at a later date. Lorgannon’s Fount conjures drinkable water. That’s useful. It requires drinkable water to cast. That gets filtered onto a different list of authors whose face I’m going to punch. Binding Chain requires a chain and I wonder if a rope will do. Adumohan requires Lesser Adumohan. Lesser Adumohan requires Sand Devil. Sand Devil requires Memento Imp. Memento Imp requires a memory. Not sure what that means but I don’t have many to spare.

This isn’t going to go anywhere unless I take that first step. I’m sure I could find a reason to not try any of these spells. With names and descriptions and reagents so open to interpretation I decide they all pose an equal risk. I think back over the day wondering where a memory starts and ends. Will I lose a memory. Is it something I’m currently remembering or will it have access to everything I’ve forgotten too? I imagine they’re all in there somewhere. Which memory can I afford to lose?

Sausages. I can think about The Laughing Dog’s simple menu. The spell describes making a circle on the ground and placing a stone in its centre. I got lucky making a hole in this room so I decide to perform this spell outside. There’s no mention of how to make the circle so I assume I can do it in mud. The rain is coming down lightly as I step out onto the road. I follow it across the bridge and walk down to the water’s edge. The river at this point looks at most waist deep but streams by quick enough to carry leaves and twigs. I stand and stare at it for a while caught by its swirls and sounds. This is familiar too. I know this tranquil feeling. But as sudden as it comes on it’s gone.

I trace a circle in the mud of the bank and find a pebble to place at its centre. I look around self-consciously but the only observers I see are the horses tethered at The Laughing Dog. Rain spatters on the pages of the open book as I go over the procedure in my mind. Circle. Check. Stone. Check. Memory. Sausages. Feet apart. Extend left arm to the side holding the book open. Right arm extended forward with hand open and palm up. Speak the words and clench my fist.

“Bas Cer Dae.”

I close my hand as I pronounce the last word. In the centre of the circle is a dragonfly in place of the pebble. Maybe I should have used a bigger stone. It is a reflective electric blue and it sits motionless.

“Hello?”

I speak quietly avoiding its gaze more in case it doesn’t understand. I’d prefer it not think I’m trying to talk to an insect.

“Good afternoon.”

I hear the words but not from any particular direction.

“Is that you, the dragonfly?”

“Indeed.”

“Is that what you’re supposed to look like? Did I do it right?”

“I don’t know.”

I’m thinking of punching another author in the face.

“Do you want to maybe... get out of the rain?”

“If you wish.”

Yep. Punch list.

“No, it’s for you. Not me. I don’t care either way.”

“I’m not bothered by rain.”

“Okay, let’s get out of the rain.”

“If you wish.”

I wait a moment but it doesn’t budge. I can’t tell if it’s looking at me.

“Are you just gonna follow behind me if I leave?”

“I will return when you summon me.”

What a pain in the ass.

“Seriously? What if I want you to just hang around for now? Follow me. Stay near.”

“If you wish.”

“Yeah, let’s do that. C’mon.”

Maybe I shoulda just let it fuck off. I return to The Laughing Dog and take the furthest table from the bar. I nod at the barman and place a coin. The dragonfly flits about and I tap my shoulder. It settles there and remains still. The barman brings my beer and takes the coin. I place my finger on the table once the barman turns and whisper.

“Why don’t you sit here?”

“If you wish.”

It flies down to my finger and turns towards me. I sip at my pint.

“Got a name?”

“No.”

Conversation with this thing is gonna be like pulling teeth. Cut to the chase.

“Can I give you a name? Might make things easier.”

“If you wish.”

What’s a dragonfly name?

“Blue. That work for you?”

“A descriptive name.”

“Sure. So why a dragonfly? You all look like that?”

“I don’t know..”

I sip at my beer and notice the barman staring at me.

“Alright, this isn’t working. Any way you can assume that when I say something, or ask something, I’m prompting for more than just a bare bones answer? You know? Conversation. I don’t want to have to ask a question for every aspect of an answer. It’s exhausting.”

“Yes.”

“So why a dragonfly? I get you don’t know, but I don’t remember any dragonflies.”

“Are you supposed to remember me?”

“I thought so.”

I sip and think.

“So if I don’t remember you, I suppose maybe you could be something I’ve forgotten?”

I think some more.

“Oh, I’m hearing you funny. Can anyone else hear you?”

“I don’t know.”

I look back at the barman who looks away.

“I suppose it doesn’t matter when I’m talking to a bug.”

I sigh and think about dragonflies. I can’t remember a single one but I know them. I can’t picture them doing anything but hovering or sitting on this table.

“Are dragonflies important to me?”

“I could not say.”

I stare at it and it continues tentatively.

“However... if I’m a memory then perhaps they are.”

“Are you alive? Like a... living thinking thing?”

“I’m not sure what that means. I feel out of place. Like a pebble in a tree.”

I smile.

“Hey, that’s a good analogy. Good job.”

“Thank you. I must get that from you.”

“Huh.”

I think a moment.

“Can you do anything? Book says you can remember stuff.”

“My memory is very clear. I remember all the way back to the river.”

“That’s useful.”

I pull the decryption parchment out and unroll it.

“What about this? Can you memorize this, and then memorize all of this?”

I place my hand on the book.

“I don’t know.”

“Try it.”

“It’s done.”

I open the book and hold it up to the first page.

“Let’s do this.”

I slowly flip through the pages as my glass empties. Once through I close the book and set it aside.

“Well?”

“It’s an interesting book.”

“Do you remember it all?”

“Yes.”

I nod and finish my glass.

“Any spells involving... let’s go with fire.”

“There are four.”

“Any for the summoning of fire? Starting a fire?”

“There is one.”

I nod.

“Can you tell me how to do it?”

“It requires a combustible material. It can be held in the right hand or pointed at. The book is to be held above your head in the left hand. The words Ap Pyr are to be spoken.”

I nod slowly.

“Ya... that works. That’s a lot faster. Blue... I think we’re gonna make a good team.”

It’s wings flutter briefly.

“Friends?”

“Super friends.”