Thing is when you're smoking a cigarette life gets weird. Monkeys start to show up. Giants fall from the clouds. Red whales the size of skyscrapers erupt from the ground and fly off into the sunset. Just so the moon can reach out its grizzly mouth and eat them.

Yea cigarettes are wierd alright. So is fried chicken. Why is it so tasty? I dont know, shit what was i talking about ? You guys know? Mysterious voice or whatever that i talk to when no ones around and only occasionally answers. God im bored I really wish the world would get hit by a nuke or something or maybe three nukes or something. Or maybe ill be whisked off into an imaginary world or maybe the world will become a game or maybe ill die and be reincarnated or maybe or maybe…. who gives a fuck.

No matter how much i wish or dream it always stays the same. So i might as well just die right. Yea thats how i used to think life is so boring i might as well die right? But then things changed i realized if life is boring i might as well make it exciting. Thats why i make cigarettes out of hallucinogenic chemicals, that's why i randomly walk up to cute girls and ask to nibble their nipple. Thats why i set shit on fire, and thats why im about to rob this bank with a sharp toothbrush shank and a grenade.

Well not really but i thought about it. Instead i just walked into my school. Hey theres a cute girl.

Hey cutie She looked at me. “Can i nibble your nipple?” She looked around. “Yea you i said.” Jaden its me Cassandra she said “Do i know you.” Yea she said I’M” Then she slapped me so hard i fell into another universe made of chocolate. What the fuck am i talking about. Anybody else know. No? And your still listening. And im still talking. What the hell is going on. Find out next on the Amazing world of Octoguy. Du Du Du.

Would’nt that be awesome if life was a show. And crazy shit happened every episode. And no matter what you do the next episode it was all better. Oh wait that's a cartoon, wouldn't life be awesome if it was a cartoon. I probably wouldn't be in so much trouble then. What did i do? Rob a bank or something. Sexualy harass that girl in the hallway. Set a bunch of chickens on fire. I dont know i think i did all three. Or maybe it was two. Or maybe ive just been haluccinating for the past Thirty minutes and nothing happened at all.

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No something had to happen. Otherwise i wouldnt be in this police station and that officer wouldn't be dead. And the roof would be on the ceiling and that dragon wouldnt be looking at me like i was retarded. That dragons a jackass by the way. I mean im hallucinating and get arrested and trting to have a conversation with steve the dead cop guy and he burst through the roof and eats him and then looks at me like im retarded. Just because im stroking his soft whiskers. So SO Soft.

Damn im tired. I bet Lindsey Lohan never had these kind of problems. She just said some funny stuff flashed a bright smile and she was good. WHo was that lady who fucked her director, she was on resident evil. Man she was a badass.

… Something has to happen or this will just be the crazy raving of a lunatic and i ain't a lunatic. That's what Sheryl tells me shes my therapist. She's a nice lady we met when i was twelve and she's been helping me for seven years. That's what Sheryl called it, helping. But a year after she started helping me she got divorced and started helping herself to me if you know what i mean. But I like Sheryl she's cool peeps. Once we smoked a cigarette together and she said everything was gonna be okay, after we stopped hallucinating of course. Before that i'm not sure what happened. Sheryl won't tell me. Instead she gives me this big bottle of pills every two weeks.

I showed a friend of mine them and he kept on saying these were the good stuff and paye me 200 bucks for em. I never took them though pills are bad. That's what My uncle Lonny used to say before he went crazy and shot up his office. I liked Uncle Lonnie he used to take me to mhunt. Taught me all kinds of things about being quiet yet aggressive at the same time. And what an animal weakness was and how to skin them and what parts to eat. I wonder why Uncle Lonnie called people animals that was always weird to me.

Sheryl tell me not to think about stuff like that though. So i don't, instead i sit in my apartment and smoke cigarettes.and occasionally i look out my window at the moonlight before i got sleep tired after a full day.