In the end I should calm her down. At the very least I still need her to teach me magic, so I don't get fed to the goblins. In my mind such a seed of reason has already been placed since long ago.

But did I make a mistake here somehow? 

I was just joking, but to tell her that she spilled the beans herself, would that anger her even more? Well I don't really have anything else to say and don't have the time to think of anything else. I guess I'll just explain.

"No, that...I was just joking...but didn't expect you to say all of that yourself." (me)

Coming to some sort of realization that she reacted on just hearing the word reincarnation rather than listening to what I actually said, tears started to form at the edge of her eyes. But they did not fall.

Seeing her reaction, I quickened my pace of talking and continued. Ah, this could not be going worse.

"I'm sorry. I don't actually care that much either way. If you would like, I can forget it all, so-" (me)

"NO!" (Hannah)

Eh? Now I'm really confused.

While wiping the corners of her eyes, Hannah quickly and loudly continue.

"It's already too late that you heard it. But it seems you don't have any bad intentions. After all, you're an idiot who lost their memory."

I feel like I heard something really cruel just now. Is that how I am perceived?

"This whole time no one else has known. Do you know how hard it's been to be a reincarnated person?! Will you listen to me?" (Hannah)

Its not like I have a choice, so I nod my head that I will listen to her. There isn't really a chance to talk at all either.

"I was born with my mind well developed. I had to imitate what a baby does for almost the first whole year of my life! Do you know how humiliating that is?! Do you?!"

Somehow her anger is being directed at me. I silently shake my head 'no.'

"It was a whole year of saying only 'goo goo' and 'ga ga'. Additionally my parents were incompetent. I had to watch them make mistake after mistake without being able to do anything. For sure, if the baby weren't me, it would have died. Who leaves a kid unattended for a whole day at that age."

I sip my water as I just listen. Somehow this is turning into a therapy session. 

And so, time seemed to pass by very quickly yet very slowly. Now it's already evening. How many hours has it been? I zoned out many times in-between.

I learned all the trials and tribulations a reincarnated person goes through, but I did not learn much about Hannah's previous life at all so that is still a mystery.

How I have learned so much yet so little. So this is the power of a person who vents.

"You. You said you were my disciple, right?" (Hannah)

"Yes." I replied tiredly with a slight nod of my head.

"Not loud enough! I asked, 'Are you my disciple'?" Hannah repeated in a much louder voice that woke me up from my lulled 'listen silently' state.

"Yes!" I replied with vigor as I straightened my posture. 

"Good. Then let's continue from this morning. The night is still young." Hannah said with a smile completely different from the one she originally wore when I first met her. It doesn't suit her face.

Regardless, how does she have so much energy? I'm exhausted now... but my need to learn magic propels me forward. 

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I have long since cleaned up lunch, so we move straight over to the other side of the living/dining/entryway area, to resume the practice from earlier. Ah, different scenery, yet exactly the same. 

I sit down on the floor once again in the pretzel-like manner that started this all. Now that I think about it, I ended up spending the whole day sitting despite being able to walk now. I silently cry inside.

"Good. Now concentrate on your mana streams, like I mentioned this morning." (Hannah)

I try to concentrate but I don't really get it. After trying for about half a minute, I decided to ask.

"Um, I don't really know how...or is it supposed to take time to recognize where they are?" I said while looking up at her.

"Hah? You can't even do that. Truly, what a useless disciple. Even a three-year old is able to do this." (Hannah)

Somehow her personality has gotten quite cruel. Can we go back in time when she was nice to me?

"Your manastreams are flowing throughout your body. They should feel like an extension of your body. Just like how you recognize that your hand is part of your body, it should feel like that."

...but I don't really feel anything. Could I be a failure? If the spirit is no good, does it not work?

"Sigh. Remember back when I healed you. There should have been a hot bubbling feeling inside. Right?"

I nod as she continues. It looks like I have truly turned into a 'Yes man' now. Truly both 'Yes' and 'man.' I have no shame at this point.

"That feeling came from your unguarded manastreams that got disturbed from my mana flowing into you. Usually a mage such as yourself would have enough basic control to resist outside forces from disrupting one's own manastreams, but clearly you are not able to do so. Try to remember the feeling of then, and more specifically, where the heat was coming from. Also, close your eyes this time. Your focus will heighten."

I nod as I try to focus once again. Though I say that, I didn't know what to focus on before, so this is more like the first time trying. 

I close my eyes as per my teacher's suggestion. 

A tingling sensation is felt throughout my body as I concentrate on where the heat came from before. Hmm, if I had to describe it, the feeling is kind of like if one's foot fell asleep. No wait, exactly that.

And then, just like going near a hot stove after getting burnt, a similar sensation was being felt.

"Oooooh. This is so cool! Or wait, so hot!" (me)

Although I wasn't looking, I could feel my teacher rolling her eyes. For reasons probably more than one.

But wow, experiencing this, I can feel that I will be able to use magic. I didn't mean to be so nervous regarding the topic of magic before, but in the end what is normal for others might not be normal for me. Even what a three-year old can supposedly do effortlessly gave me this much trouble after all!

"Stop grinning. Don't get so happy just from that. It's pathetic." (Hannah)

Her words bring me back from my happy state. 

It's truly crumbling. 

No. Her good personality already crumbled away long ago!

As she was about to continue, there was a knock on the door. I started to get up to go answer the door, but turns out it was the infamous 'rhetoric knock.'