Once, Ba’an had flown into a small village in the outskirts of Dolkoi’ri territory. This village had grown rapidly after they had built a dam; they had taken the water that had flowed freely and hoarded it for themselves, glutting on the plenty it brought. One day, it had rained. The dam had swelled, and then the weight of the water had squeezed the cracks in the stone until it burst.
The village had been swept away completely.
This very much reminded Ba’an of that dam. Whatever reserve that had been holding them back had snapped, and the pieces had swept downstream, never to come together again.
Once they woke, they moved to the floor. They coupled again and again, until they were too exhausted to move. Then they slept and did it again. When they got hungry, they ate, not bothering with clothes; they bathed together, touching everywhere as though they were one person, after all. After that the cycle started anew, like they hadn’t had each other so many times before.
It was a kind of madness. The days passed in a haze of lust and desperation, and Ba'an could not shake the sensation of running toward the edge of a cliff.
And yet she could not stop.
Lukios pushed her and pushed her in a way Thu’rin had not. Ba’an always fell asleep not knowing when or how it had happened, too drained and exhausted to keep track. He was ravenous, taking her over and over like a man possessed, as though he would die if he didn’t push himself inside her again and again.
Ba’an squealed as Lukios nipped her breast, squeezing her buttocks as he did. She could feel him grinning against her skin.
“Liked that, did you?”
She flushed, and Lukios chortled delightedly. “Oh fuck. You know you blush all the way down to your—”
“Lukios!”
“What? It’s true. You’re adorable. Okay, how about this?” He tugged her into position, turning her around so she was on her hands and knees. “You ever done it like this before?”
Ba’an’s cheeks got even hotter. “…No.”
She could hear the grin in his voice when he spoke again. “Oh yeah?” He leaned over her, hands on either side of hers, and nipped at the juncture between her neck and throat, sucking hard enough to leave marks. She could feel his cock, hard and ready, rubbing against her slick, eager slit. “You wanna try it? You’ll like it.”
“We are not animals, Lukios.” Surely this was not common, even for outlanders?
Lukios laughed. “We sure aren't! I've never seen a stallion tell his lady mare she's beautiful before they make babies. They really should, though. It's nicer that way." He nuzzled her beneath the ear and murmured, "You're beautiful. Everywhere."
"Flattery." She wriggled experimentally and he groaned.
"Ba'aaan." There was no missing the excitement in his voice. "You’ll like it, you’ll like it. Promise. Just relax. I’ll take care of you.” He sounded rather sure of himself.
Well, Lukios was very good in bed. Thinking about what they had been up to for the past…how many days had it been? Ba’an had lost track. And she had lost track because…well. He was very distracting. She tilted her head to look up at him. He was grinning still, and she wondered if his face was starting to hurt yet. He had not stopped grinning since they had started their intimate relations. Didn’t it hurt?
Lukios must have read her thought on her face because his grin broadened until his dimples deepened dramatically. Ba’an felt the sudden urge to poke at them. They really were quite fetching.
Well, why not? Lukios certainly would not mind. Ba’an reached out and placed her finger right where he dimpled, letting it rest there. For a moment he looked surprised, then he burst out laughing.
“You like those?”
“Yes.”
She ran her thumb over his lower lip, and he smiled and kissed it.
“Bet you there’s a few more things you like.” His naughty, mischievous grin was back on his face, and Ba’an squeaked as he flexed his hips, pressing his cock up between the folds of her slit. She was slick enough to hear and she felt the tips of her ears warm at the sound. Lukios, on the other hand, sounded delighted as he groaned. “Come on, Ba’an. You’ll like it, I promise. It’ll feel real good.”
Well, it did not sound dangerous, and the sensation was...very...
She wriggled again, nearly taking him, and he dropped his forehead to her shoulder helplessly with an aroused little grunt.
"That's a little mean, Ba'an." He rocked against her, slipping in just enough to tease them both, and her eyes fluttered shut as a small, involuntary whine escaped her. Mortified, she clamped a hand over her mouth, but Lukios only chuckled and kissed her shoulder, lifting one hand off her hip to gently fondle her breast. Ba'an's nipple pebbled obediently as her insides clenched.
"You liiiike it," he cooed. "You know you do."
She cleared her throat. “…Very well, Lukios. We may...try it."
She felt his smile as he kissed the shell of her ear, and she gasped as he began pushing into her, very slowly. "Ba'aaan," he sighed as he reached between her legs, "I'm going to make you forget your own name."
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Ba'an collapsed, twitching and trembling. The world had gone topsy-turvy as she came, and it was slow to right itself. Eventually, she realized she was lying on the wet spot, but she could not wriggle away with Lukios' body slumped over hers, his breaths ragged in the wake of his own release. Still, he was careful not to crush her.
After a moment, he stirred, looking quite sleepy, though he was still smiling. "How's that? You remember your name still?"
“Nnngh.” She slapped the rug with her palm. "Mmmph. Wet." Lukios only huffed with laughter and rolled them so she lay on top of him.
Yes, this was much better. Ba’an lay limp, letting herself soak in his heat, his firm, steady presence. She was exhausted. She didn’t know how Lukios got the energy to go again and again; the man couldn’t possibly be human.
“Ba'aaaan.”
“Nnngh.”
"Well, that won't do. I promised you'd forget your name." His tone was very innocent. "Let's try again."
"Nnnngh."
Lukios only chuckled and cuddled her, gently stroking her sweat-slicked skin. “Aw, Ba’an, are you tired already?”
“Mm.” She was.
He kissed the top of her head as he massaged her thighs, her buttocks. It was nice. She drowsed, listening to his heartbeat and the feel of his hands, the heat of his skin wherever they were touching.
“Okay,” he said, all tenderness now. “Sleep well, Ba’an.”
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All things came to an end.
Ba’an stared into the pot. It was empty. The shelves: empty. The jars along the wall: empty.
Her belly: empty.
“Lukios.”
“Yeah?”
“We will starve.” There was no food. They had delayed far too long, and now they would die. Of starvation.
“Well, you can lop bits off me and—”
“That is not funny.”
He laughed, clearly finding it very funny. Mad. He was mad. “Okay, okay.” He sat up and yawned. “I’ll check the traps. I’ll set up a fishing rod, too.”
Her belly growled. Lukios stood and grabbed his clothes. “Going! Going!”
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Ba’an put her face in her hands. Of all the ways to die, she had not imagined she would starve to death—because she was too busy having sex.
It was ridiculous.
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“No. No buts. Lukios we must leave for Kyros.” Ba’an was leaning against him, and they were both sitting with their backs propped up against the wall of the kitchen. Lukios tore off a bite-size piece of lizard jerky and popped it in her mouth before taking a bite himself.
“I know. But Ba’an, you know once we get there and part ways we won’t see each other for…I think at least two months. Two. Months. Don’t tell me you actually want to go now.”
“It is not a matter of want,” she said, with a patience she had not used since her days in the shi-vuti, “it is a matter of must.”
“Well, you could stay with me until things get sorted. I’ll take care of you.”
“No. I hate that city. It’s dirty and noisy and the people are terrible.”
“But Ba’an—”
“No.”
He was clearly sulking now. “Two months. That’s…it’s too long.” He turned his eyes on her and gave her a look that very much belonged on a puppy with milk teeth. “I’ll miss you too much. Won’t you?”
Ha. Amateur. “It will pass quickly.”
“That’s cold.”
She refrained from rolling her eyes. Instead, Ba’an put her hand over his belly and stroked him slowly in a way that she knew would distract him from his sulk, making sure to lean over so he had a very nice view of her breasts and legs.
“That’s cheating.” His eyes were fixed on her body and his sulky expression was gone like it had never been. Men.
“Ah. Shall I stop?”
“…No.”
She kissed the corner of his mouth and she felt him tremble under her hand. He kissed her back, then put his bowl down and pulled her onto his lap.
“Two months.” He nuzzled her. “We’ll have to do it enough to make it last, right?”
In Ba’an’s opinion, they had done it so many times in the past week or so that it should probably last a year, at least. She was still sore in places she hadn’t known could get sore.
The man was insatiable.
“If you wish,” she said.
He looked at her and grinned.
Hm. Perhaps she should not have agreed.
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“Hey Ba’an.” They were in the underground cave, sitting in the little pool that Ba’an used to bathe. The water was cold, but it was tolerable with Lukios sitting behind her. Sometimes Ba’an wanted to simply lie on top of him to soak in his warmth, the way lizards did on hot, sun-kissed rocks. Lukios was scrubbing her back, massaging the tension from her shoulders as he did.
“Mm?”
“Have you ever had peaches?”
“I do not know what that is.”
“They’re a type of fruit that grows out west. They’re sweet, and soft. The skin’s a little fuzzy. I think you’d like them. Want me to bring you some?”
“I…well, if you wish. But how will you keep them from rotting?”
“…Good point. Damn. Okay, wait, I’ll think of something.”
He was just so strange sometimes.
But she liked it.
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Ba’an was too exhausted to dream these days, so that was a boon. Every morning, she woke tangled with Lukios, his heat keeping her warm even without blankets. Sometimes she was curled in his arms, waking to his heartbeat beneath her ear; other times, she woke with his weight on her, his head pressed against her chest as he lay on his stomach, his arms around her as if to keep her from slipping away.
On those mornings she listened to the wind, slowly running her fingers through his hair. He liked being stroked and petted; even in his sleep he smiled and nuzzled against her.
It was endearing. Too endearing.
Ba’an felt her heart shake every time she looked at him. It was a terrible, wonderful feeling—a dangerous one.
Ba’an was sure she had loved Thu’rin. But she had not felt this way—scraped raw, her heart like an exposed nerve—with him. And then she wondered if this was what Thu’rin had felt for her—was that what he had meant, every time he had told her he loved her?
Thu'rin had always been the more affectionate one. It had not occurred to her their love had not been equal, but now—
She wondered. She wondered, because her heart had always been calm with Thu'rin, but it was not so with Lukios. Perhaps it was because their time was limited. He would go on with his life and forget her, but Ba'an would remain here, remembering.
Ba’an’s hand faltered and stilled. Lukios made a sleepy sound and held her tighter.
She scarcely knew him, still. He had been a slave. A soldier after that. Then a mercenary. He disliked his family. He had amassed some wealth and invested wisely. He wished to retire soon.
None of that was enough. Lukios most often spoke informally, but he knew things—things the common folk should not know, unless the Dolkoi’ri educated everyone—but she doubted it. Were slaves so well-educated? Ba’an did not think so.
There were gaps. Many gaps.
This was dangerous. She should not feel this way toward this man.
Ba’an’s heart had turned to him without her knowing, but she did not even know who he was.
Madness.
It would be best if they parted soon.
An abomination ought not forget herself.
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Ba’an stared at her coat.
The coat seemed to stare back, though it did not have eyes. Not physical ones, anyway.
They were leaving for Kyros in a few hours.
Ba’an had to wear her coat. There was no putting it off now. At first she had thought all was well, but there was something about Enha-naus-hasa-en’s music that was…off. A suspicion had formed in her mind—slowly at first, but now with such unwavering certainty that she knew she could not risk wearing her coat untested.
She would have to wear it to ensure Tik-tak Mal’uk was gone, lest the creature surprise her with its presence at the most inconvenient—and deadly—moment.
Ba’an hadn’t been wearing clothes lately, so she had simply taken her coat from its place in her clothes chest and walked into the cave for privacy. Lukios was sleeping deeply, finally exhausted, and she did not think he would wake soon.
Now was the best time.
She slipped the coat on, and it settled on her like a second skin.
No, not like. It was a second skin.
Aboooommmiiinnaaaatiiiiooon…
Ah. It was still here.
Tenacious thing.
Ba’an could feel its discordant song, disrupting Enha-naus-hasa-en’s harmonies. Fortunately, it was weak, though Ba’an could feel its hatred vibrating against the threads of her soul.
Too bad for it.
Ba’an concentrated, trying to find the seams of it. She would digest it more quickly if she separated the parts; she would unravel it, split it into smaller pieces so it could not rally. She just had to—
“Ba’an? There you are. I was looking all over for you.”
She lost her concentration, and she felt the thing slide away from the tendrils of her magic. It was trying to hide. Hastily, she yanked it back and tied it, ignoring its yammering. She wove quickly until it was held tight, like an insect caught in a spider’s web. It would have to do for now. She did not want any mischief until she had the time to unravel the creature entirely.
“Lukios. I…”
“…Snuck away to do something witchy?”
“…Yes.”
He sighed, frowning. “The witchiness is not an issue, Ba’an. It’s just…I hate it when you just disappear, you know? I keep thinking you’ve gone off to do something dangerous again.”
She had. He did not need to know that, however.
“I was only checking my coat. I will wear it when we go to Kyros.”
He eyed the black feathers with healthy suspicion.
“Right. The coat.” He frowned. “Do you really need it? I’ll have my sword. Things should be pretty safe once we hit the main road, too. Lots of travellers, and there should be some patrols to keep them clear.”
“I do not doubt your skill, Lukios. But if we are ambushed there may be many, and you are one man.” Ba’an did not have any skills with a sword or bow and arrow. She could use a knife, but only for ritual cutting.
Her skills were very focused. She would lose a fight with no magic.
“True.” He made a face. “I just don’t like it.” He stroked his hand down her waist, over her hip. “You’re always hungry, and you stay so skinny. It just doesn’t seem worth it.” He lifted a single feather with his finger then dropped it, shuddering. “And it’s spooky. Spookier than you, even. I kept thinking it was gonna come alive and bite me. Washing it was an adventure and a half, I can tell you that much.”
“Even if I leave the coat here, my soul will still be connected. It makes no difference whether I wear it or not. It only changes whether I can cast its magic.” She frowned. She had not known its magic was so obvious. What did the ungifted see when they looked at it? Now there was an intriguing question.
“Still. What if you get recognized?”
“I will wear my cloak over it, Lukios. I have done this many times.” Ba’an had a forgettable face. No one would recognize her with her coat hidden.
He sighed, then dropped the subject by kissing her temple. “Anyway, are you done? I’ll make you a snack. You must be hungry.” He was holding her loosely, caressing her in an affectionate way that made her warm to her toes. This—this was why he was dangerous. She loved the solid feel of him when he held her. He smelled good, and it made her feel warm and cared for in a way she hadn’t in…well, not since she had become annes’tat.
Dangerous. It made him dangerous. Ba’an doubted she would see him again after Kyros but saw no reason to bring it up. She was, after all, an exiled K’Avaari woman with nothing to her name. He was someone important, handsome and young with his entire life ahead of him.
You can come with me. I’ll take care of you.
Promises were as easy as they were sweet. Ba’an knew better than to be fooled by their honey. After all, Lukios looked to be of an age where he was old enough to marry. Why would he not? He had wealth. Property. It would not surprise her if she learned he had a woman at his estate already, waiting.
She knew she should not have any expectations. But for now—for now she would enjoy his company and let him go when it was over.
“Ba’an?”
She wasn’t done, but she was hungry. Tik-tak Mal’uk struggled in its bonds, but it was held tight. It would hold for now. Ba’an stood.
“I am hungry,” she confirmed. “You can do the cooking.”
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The sky was still dark and full of stars, but this was the best time to travel.
“Is that everything?” Ba’an nodded. Lukios frowned and looked around her small not-vuti, as if something he had missed would jump at him from the corners. “I keep thinking we’ve forgotten something.” He counted the pouches of powdered herbs and bolted hides again.
“That is everything, Lukios. As long as you have all of your things.” Ba’an knew that he did. She had only brought him, and then his clothes, sword, knife, pouch, and ring. It was not much at all.
It was a bit comical. Lukios was weighed down by mostly her things—the pouches and bags of herbs and skins. He had insisted, and Ba’an had been happy to give in. She hated carrying things, and her stamina, though better, was still not fully recovered.
Lukios had not been helpful in that regard.
“Right. Right.” He picked up his walking stick—newly carved, from terrible akaikai wood—and they left the small home together.
Lukios paused by the doorway. “Ba’an.”
“Yes?”
“I meant to ask you.” He pointed to the carved letters curving over the doorway. The words were interspersed with carvings of animals, the rock seeming to curve with a deceptive mellifluousness. “Does that mean anything?”
Ba’an smiled. Ah, her ever-curious outlander. “Yes. It says ‘nu-vuti vi-insara, ana-sayan.’ It means…” She paused, trying to translate. “…’not a vuti, but a safe place to rest.’”
He smiled. “A safe place to rest. That’s fitting.” He put his hand on the small of her back. “Thanks for housing me all this time,” he said to the doorway, and then he kissed the top of her head. “That goes for you too, but you knew that. Shall we?”
“Yes.”
They left, the dust trailing behind them as they made their way through the desert, hand in hand.