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The Star Prince's Gender Bender
23: The Love Kitchen Chat Group

23: The Love Kitchen Chat Group

After removing the armor covering his torso and arms, Aether leaned into the seat. He rested the back of his head against the Ravenbrood's tinted window, and the glass’s coolness soothed him.

Dessy was evil incarnate, he thought to himself. She had obediently rested in his arms as he carried her, teasing him with slight fidgets and limpid eyes. He had wanted to give her to someone else so that her charm wouldn’t affect him, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. And no way would he let Umbra hold her. The two had grown close, too close for his liking.

Aether gnashed his teeth together, and his hands clenched into fists. So many problems. He had failed Gen by not protecting Dessy from the Starblood Sealers and Umbra, and her brother had almost died.

There was also the announcement of his engagement with Reya, which baffled him. He knew why his grandmother wanted it—Reya ranked among the strongest aura-breakers within the Compass Constellation—but why was Reya herself so ecstatic? She didn’t love him; she loved someone else.

Sighing, Aether retrieved his phone and saw Dessy’s text. He promptly ignored it then signed into a chat group he had joined that morning. He knew nothing about love and wooing women, and he had grown distrustful of the advice Fenri, Drake, and Joule gave him. When he saw an advertisement of a chat group giving love advice, he had therefore joined it.

Upon logging in, the unbearable name “Love Kitchen” appeared on his screen along with the names of its four advisors: Fridgewarmer, MsChef, Toastie, and Heartblender. The first two were the admins, and Toastie—an unreliable kid—regularly gave illogical advice, asked questions, and replied with either emojis, emoticons, or stickers. Heartblender was a bot who posted random love quotes and links to romantic songs.

Other than himself, there were two other so-called students of love—PinkBrittle and CrazyStrudel. Both nicknames, like Aether’s own HotJerky, were bestowed by Fridgewarmer, the leader of the group.

Aether scrolled through the most recent posts, hoping to glean some emotional knowledge before asking a difficult question.

PinkBrittle: It’s happened again! Love at first sight!

Aether clicked his tongue. He didn’t know PinkBrittle well, but having skimmed through her older messages, he thought her mentally unsound. Her previous love-at-first-sight had captured her heart with a single glance, and ever since then her messages were a steady stream of what-ifs spanning the past four years. And she had never spoken a word to the man... What insanity.

Toastie: O.O

PinkBrittle: She’s amazing! Beautiful and cuddly like a little lamb.

CrazyStrudel: A girl? This time, did you remember to have a conversation? And by the way, I’ve had another dream about my darling.

Aether shook his head, asking himself why he had joined this group. His two companions’ lack of sanity irked his heart, as if their affiliation proved that his love for Gen was fake.

CrazyStrudel, who had fallen for a female hallucination, far outstripped PinkBrittle. He swore she existed and that they new each other—but he also said someone had altered his memories and wiped her from them. This aligned with the many conspiracy theories he fabricated, including the one where the Star Lines partook in human experimentation and had injected his body with aura.

Aether assumed reality was much simpler: CrazyStrudel, presumably an aura-breaker, suffered from an aura side effect that severely warped his perception of reality.

PinkBrittle: C’mon, who do you think I am? We danced and she led.

CrazyStrudel: I’ve read thousands of your messages...

PinkBrittle: What would you know!!! At least she’s solid.

Toastie: No fighting t.t

CrazyStrudel: I’ve already told you. My darling is real Sad [https://www.royalroadcdn.com/public/smilies/sad.png]

PinkBrittle: Don’t believe you.

The arguing continued, and Aether scrolled to the latest message. MsChef, who logged in a few minutes prior, was typing. His phone suddenly dinged with messages from Dessy. Pictures of low-cut shirts.

An image of her black lingerie surfaced within his memories, and he coughed, shoving away the recollection.

Dessy: I need clothes but can’t decide. Which one would look better on me?

Too dangerous... Without replying, Aether returned to the Love Kitchen and thought of Gen. He wanted to return home and see her, not waste time waiting on Dessy whose soft skin provoked him.

Stop thinking of her, he scolded himself. Gen, think of Gen. She was tough and bold... A smile bloomed on his lips.

MsChef: All loves are unique. That’s the beauty of it. Someone could be either a star prince or a phantom drifting through your heart, and your soul would still stir. Now, no more fighting.

Toastie: ^-^

CrazyStrudel: The chef has spoken.

PinkBrittle: Meh. So what do I do if she’s dating someone else?

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Toastie: O.O

CrazyStrudel: Open relationship?

PinkBrittle: Idk. And unfortunately I can’t kill him.

CrazyStrudel: That’s a bummer Sad [https://www.royalroadcdn.com/public/smilies/sad.png]

MsChef: NO KILLING! That’s a sure way to ruin things.

PinkBrittle: Hey, what does the newbie say? I see you’re active. C’mon say something.

Aether pursed his lips, but if he wanted advice, he figured he should be polite. The pains he had spent explaining his love to them discouraged him from switching to another group. If he did so, he would need to explain it again. Plus, he appreciated how the group chat automatically corrected spelling mistakes, elongated certain abbreviations, and replaced most jargon. What type of sane person understood “no1,” “gr8,” “ama,” and “tl;dr”?

HotJerky: Blackmail and/or subterfuge.

MsChef: NO! If she finds out, she’ll drop flying cars from the sky and you’ll find yourself at the bottom of a plasmatic mine pit. This is why you three are part of our Love Kitchen. We are the best of the best of the best of the best.

Toastie: Threatening is ok.

MsChef: No, Toastie, no!

PinkBrittle: What if I put him into a coma?

MsChef: Maybe you should find out if she’s in an open relationship and if she’s interested in you.

PinkBrittle: No, I hate open relationships. How do I get rid of the man?

CrazyStrudel: Just have a secret love affair then steal her. That’s what I plan to do.

PinkBrittle: A secret affair? Have you heard of planet D’nathal of the Compass Constellation? Let’s not recreate that slutty place.

Toastie: @MsChef How does one steal a hallucination?

CrazyStrudel: My darling is real!

PinkBrittle: And so are unicorns.

CrazyStrudel: See, Toastie. Even Brittle understands.

PinkBrittle: That was sarcasm.

CrazyStrudel: On planet Zealot of the Crimson Galaxy, pure-white horses have single horns made of an aura-pliable crystal. They’re commonly hunted for the material. Don’t you know this?

Toastie: O.O

MsChef: That’s interesting. Maybe you should share some of your tidbits with your darling.

PinkBrittle: No normal person would know that. We’re all from the Puresoul Galaxy with the exception of you, Strudel. And you’re only from Maelstrom. Nowhere near Crimson.

CrazyStrudel: You Puresouls should’ve known about unicorns. Umbra Keith is from the Crimson Galaxy. Other people could be too.

Toastie: O.O

PinkBrittle: Do I sense a conspiracy theory?

MsChef: Let’s stay on the topic of love <3

PinkBrittle: I’m kinda curious about this one. Let me guess, he was kidnapped and then experimented on because of his vast quantities of aura?

CrazyStrudel: Not exactly... He was born aura-less to the Crimson Star Line. That’s why he has pink hair. To save his life, his mother sent him far away to a distant relative who happened to have some relation with the Maelstrom Star Line. From there he became Prince Aether Puresoul’s personal servant and best friend. That’s why he’s so close to the Compass Constellation’s star princes. Oh wait, he was a baby at the time, so I guess he wouldn’t know about the unicorns.

Aether furrowed his brows. Umbra, best friend, close? The very words caused aura to seep from his body and cloak the Ravenbrood’s seats with frost.

MsChef: Umbra is only close to Prince Janus, not Prince Aether. Now, on the topic of love, what do you three want me to address today?

CrazyStrudel: They’re best buds! I swear!

PinkBrittle: Lol. Just keep making theories until you say something reasonable.

Aether’s hands shook and he sent a message. He had wanted to ask the question ever since he had opened up the chat group, but found it too unbearable to send. It burned his pride; why would a star prince need help wooing somebody?

HotJerky: If I’ve fallen for my love’s sister, what should I do?

Toastie: Is this the same sister Fridge told you to treat nicely?

HotJerky: Yes.

PinkBrittle: Simple. Choose one.

CrazyStrudel: Are you sure they’re not the same person? I sometimes get confused, too.

Toastie: Confused?

CrazyStrudel: My love can alter her face and bone structure.

Toastie: How does that work? Can love do that?

MsChef: Jerky, are you still trying to woo your crush or are you giving up and targeting her sister?

CrazyStrudel: “Love” as in “lover,” not the power of love. It’s my darling’s aura break.

Toastie: Oh.

PinkBrittle: Strudel, it’s called “you’re having fantasies.”

Aether rubbed his temples.

HotJerky: I don’t want the sister.

PinkBrittle: Simple. Don’t invite her to tumble beneath the sheets Wink [https://www.royalroadcdn.com/public/smilies/wink.png]

CrazyStrudel: Then, they’re not the same person?

MsChef: Treat her no different than you would treat a good friend. If she’s interested in you, just friendzone her. Maybe @Fridgewarmer has better advice?

Fridgewarmer was offline, and the others supplied simple responses that even Aether had known. He logged off and placed down his phone; his brows were as wrinkled as they were when he had logged into the chat.

Aether had wanted to learn how to resist Dessy, not how to deal with two sisters.

Dessy’s charm was unbearable, and it tore at him like a poisonous aphrodisiac dizzying his mind with an unstoppable crave. How could she be so seductive? And those legs...

Aether groaned and stood up, disembarking his Ravenbrood. Only Gen could stop him from thinking of Dessy. He sent them both a message:

To Dessy: What is Gen’s favorite flavor of steamed buns?

To Gen: Are you hungry?

When Aether entered StarGroove, he scanned the store in search for steamed buns, and his eyes fell onto a certain person’s figure. His pulse quickened like it did when he stood in Gen’s presence.

The person stood at the same height as her, and they avoided the droids, speaking to the only human cashier. With slumping shoulders, their posture was different from Gen’s, but Aether couldn’t stop speculating.

As he gnawed the inside of his cheek, his legs drifted him to the person. He couldn’t see their face, but instincts—such as his wildly beating heart—told him it was Gen.

“Gen?” he asked, and the person stiffened but didn’t turn. Aether touched their arm.

“Please, I didn’t do anything wrong.” The person spun and cowered, shoulders shrinking in on themselves. His fidgeting fingers pulled at the sleeves of his own coat as he shifted unsteadily on his feet. Thick, smoky eyeliner darkened the rims of his eyes, causing his lowered face to appear sallow.

Aether frowned. It wasn’t Gen.