After the last scene came to an end, no more memories of the past emerged. Nathan’s surroundings had turned into baffling darkness and he felt as though he was stuck in an endless fall. He wasn’t scared; he had already gone through way too many things for one night to be scared anymore. He was just mentally exhausted from all this ordeal.
Even though Nathan’s mind was on the verge of breaking down, Hannah’s last words seemed to echo unceasingly in his mind. Like a broken record on repeat, they played over and over again. ‘How are you any different from the Raycrafts?’ And it was true. No matter how hard Nathan tried to refute it, he always ended up in the same conclusion.
‘Why did you leave her? You promised to protect her, didn't you?’ With teeth clenched, Nathan couldn’t help regretting the choices he’d made in the past. ‘Fuck, seriously, how is that any different than what THEY did, Nathan?’ His already weary mind was on the verge of exploding as it spun quicker and quicker. All the loathing Nathan had built up for the Raycrafts over the years was slowly turning into a different type of hate. One that was no longer directed at others but at one’s own self.
Like a forest set ablaze, he started burning from the inside as raging emotions engulfed his entire being.
‘I can't let this go on...’ A small part of Nathan’s mind was still thinking clearly as it tried hard to rein in the flood of emotions. He had always thought of himself as a calm and collected individual but, when push came to shove, it turned out he was far from it. Just like that, with his mind burning silently from all those raging emotions, Nathan’s consciousness slowly faded away, giving an end to the endless falling experience.
~~~
When I was brought to existence, my whole world was shrouded in darkness. It scared me, terrified me even, but it also filled me with an endless sense of relief. For I instinctively knew, where darkness is, I am as well. It was part of me or, more specifically, I was a part of it.
At the time, I didn’t know what I was, what I wanted to be, or where to go from there. For all I was aware of, I was just that. A blotch of darkness shrouded in darkness.
“It’s been 300 years since I last had a child…” Something resounded in the dark. I didn’t know what it was, nor did I have the capability of understanding what it meant. However, I could weirdly feel connected with whatever that thing was. Like we were two sides of the same coin or made of the same material. I couldn’t quite place it in words, but that’s how I felt around it.
All of a sudden, a small part of the darkness diminished as something else, something different and scary invaded my personal space. It was bright, warm, and blinding as it broke through the veil of darkness. I tried running away from it but I am not entirely sure whether I succeeded or not, for something was blocking my way backward.
“Oh, forgive me little one.” The voice echoed warmly. It appeared to be closer this time but I still had no clue what it was saying. “I have forgotten how sensitive we are to light at the beginning.” Once it was done talking, the blinding invader seemed to retreat as the patch of darkness prevailed once more.
I felt comfortable and safe again. “Now then, what to do with you? I should give you a purpose but… Hmm, yes. This is how we’ll do it.” The voice said before another invasion to my domain occurred. This time however, it wasn’t blinding like before, neither was it scary. It was somehow different as I could feel a weird sense of attraction towards the objects placed before me.
‘What are those?’ I wondered as I intently neared the three masses of flailing colors. One was a scary red; it burned like a flame ready to consume me so I opted to stay away from it. The other was pitch black, not too different from my surroundings; it was the one I felt the most comfortable around.
However, the one I weirdly felt the most attracted to turned out to be the silver brilliance in the middle. It was calling to me, begging me to choose it as its silvery light fluctuations emanated towards me. Or maybe I was the one begging for it... I am not really sure. But then again, the voice resounded. “Hmm, a thorny path awaits you, little one.”
The red and black colors instantly disappeared and only the silver one remained. I neared it intently as for the first time in my short-lived life, I felt something different. Something I wasn’t exactly sure whether I liked or not. It came from deep inside me, like a flood bursting through a dam.
Hunger.
I thirsted for the silver brilliance before me. It was almost irresistible. And yet, I wasn’t sure whether I should grasp that feeling or not. For I knew, once I did, there was no going back. “Don’t worry little one, it will only make you stronger.” The voice resounded once more.
‘How strange,’ I thought as a weird sense of relief emanated inside me. I no longer hesitated and rather edged towards the item of my desire. I didn’t have a body, that I knew of, and yet when my blob of darkness touched the silvery light, I could feel it weaving its way through my body. I didn’t know what it was but it felt good, it made me feel weirdly content and satisfied. Not only did it ease my hunger, but it also showed me something.
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
There was a man with a child on his shoulders. The man wasn’t particularly handsome but he was tall as a giant. He had short brown hair, a thinned-out chin, and a straight nose. His amber-like eyes glimmered as the sunlight fell on his manly figure.
As for the little fellow on his shoulders, it was no bigger than a toddler as it happily pointed its chubby little finger in the distance. With a straw hat to protect it from the sun’s rays, it happily rocked back and forth on the man’s shoulders, procuring a small chuckle from him as he made sure the child wasn’t going to fall.
The duo must have been father and son because they looked infinitely similar to one another as they traversed a massive field of wheat. The buzzing sound of the cicadas, the ever so refreshing gusts of wind that ruffled their hair, and finally, the happy laughter leaving their mouths. Oh, they looked so happy together, that I couldn’t help wishing I was there. And yet, all I could do was just watch from a distance in silence… Just an observer.
Strangely enough, I knew what they were. They were something called human. Weak little beings that relied on each other to survive. And yet, what was this I felt? Why would I want to be like them? Weak and needy? Was this really what I truly wanted? No…
The child’s laughter filled my head as I finally realized. They were happy because they were human. They were a family because they were human. They could enjoy life because they were human. Everything seemed to revolve around them just because they were human.
‘That has to be it.’ I thought as I indulged myself in the happy scene before me. And then, everything changed. The scene finally came to an end and I was once again thrown back inside that dark and heavy place. I was once again that blob of darkness as the silver brilliance escaped my grasp, slowly floating away.
For the first time in my life, I felt loss. I didn’t want it to go away, whatever this was, it was mine and mine alone. Before the silver brilliance had the chance to float further away from me, I quickly embraced it into my being once more.
The scene repeated itself and I was content just watching it. Sadly, after another cycle of watching, it once again escaped my grasp, leaving me at a loss. I tried to scream, but without a mouth, I just embraced that silver brilliance yet another time.
“Haha, look at you, greedy little fellow. You are already changing,” the voice said, but I was too immersed in the scene to listen. “I’ll be going now, little one. Don’t disappoint me like my last child.” And, just like that, the presence that had been next to me since birth left me to my own devices.
~~~
Having fainted due to rage, Nathan thought he would at last wake up in the real world. Alas, from the look of things, he still had quite a few things to bear witness to. This time though, the scene appeared to be quite different compared to what he had seen before. He was no longer in ghost Nathan’s form; now, he saw everything through the dark infant’s perspective. But that was not all.
Not only did he see everything, but he also felt everything that the blob felt. Unlike it, he could clearly understand the man’s… Or, more precisely, the creature’s words. After all, if you leave everything else aside, no man could possibly live for 300 years. Right?
Nathan’s rage was under heavy suppression as he immersed himself in the blob’s feelings. He could see it going back and forth in despair as it tried to relive the duo’s life time and time again.
‘Poor thing…’ thought Nathan as he observed the creature’s shape changing from that of a blob of darkness into what resembled a human’s body. ‘No, wait a minute…’ A flash of inspiration passed through Nathan’s mind as he further observed the creature’s changing figure. ‘Doesn’t it look weirdly familiar? Shadowy body, human form, and a silvery afterglow?’ Nathan pondered inwardly as it didn’t take him long to connect the dots.
‘Isn’t this the monster responsible for all the shit I went through? Why should I feel sad about it?’ He contemplated as the scene continued.
Nathan had no clue how many hundreds of times the creature saw that scene. But, after such a long time, not only did it turn mostly human, but it also finally seemed to have been enlightened by something. The silver brilliance that kept coursing through the creature’s body wasn’t simply just a mass of color. It was actually anything but that. The silver afterglow was the object’s actual aura, and as far as the object itself goes? It was an ever so tiny silver thread.
So small that, had it not been emitting all that silvery aura, you would never be able to pinpoint the item’s existence.
‘What is that?’ Nathan’s mind spun at the sight of the thread. He frowned in thought, recalling all those silver and black afterglows that had made a mad rush into his body when he killed the nightmare. They did resemble threads. ‘If threads signify memories, then are those threads responsible for all the ‘memories’ I have borne witness to?’ In that case, it would all make sense. Everything except for one thing, the memory that had appeared last; the one where his sister cried alone inside the room.
Full of questions, Nathan temporarily drove the irrelevant thoughts out of his mind and observed what the creature did next. Through pure willpower, it attempted to bend the silver thread to its command, willing it to remain inside its body. However...
*Snap*
With a soundless snap, the thread broke in two before instantly fading away.
“Graaaaaaaahhh!!!” A scream escaped the creature’s newly formed mouth as it fell in a crouching position, wailing in pain. It was soul-wrenching. Nathan could feel its grief, sadness, and misery at the silver thread’s loss. The whole world was crumbling under its two shadowy feet as it mourned in sadness, for it could never be part of that scene again.
“Need… More!” Were the first words to ever come out of the creature’s mouth as a maddened grin emerged on its facial features.
“Want… To be… HUMAN!” It screamed in jealousy, and that is where the scene came to an end.