“Are you sure this is going to work?” The woman asks, she’s in love with me but I can’t remember her name, I’ve never really been good with any of that. 

“You shouldn’t worry so much, have my plans ever failed us before?” I say back to her, “they won’t even see it coming.”

“I miss your old work,” her tinny voice rings out, “ I never seem to be able to enjoy these new schemes as much,” she whines. “I just want to see em ‘go POP POP! Hahaha, It’s so fun!” she starts giggling sickly. 

I hate her giggle, I don’t do this just for fun, why can’t she understand that. At least I mostly don’t do it for fun. Maybe I’m just rationalizing, still her attitude frustrates me. 

If only I’d never let her open her stupid shrill trap.

 It was several months ago I was in another city doing the same kind of work, she was supposed to just die, I should have just killed her when I had the chance, but she just reacted so oddly, I had to hear her out. Maybe I could still kill her now… no, I hate to admit it but I’ve grown attached to the buxom flagrant annoyance on two legs, if only just to stave off the crushing loneliness of this wretched existance. 

“Being predictable makes you an easy target, how do you think I’ve been able to keep up with this for so long.” the fan in trailer jitters and clanks, it’s a hot day, and I can smell her sweat from where she was still laying down on the couch.

“Well, I’d been doing the same thing for a year before I found you, and I was getting away with it,” she made a dazed face and sat up, rustling the leather, before looking down at her hands and counting with her fingers, “and I’d done it this many times.” said while holding up a hand.

“In a year that really isn’t that many times, trust me. You know I’ve been at this for years, and we’ve gotten more than that just this month alone.”

“You’re right, you make a good point, I just wish sometimes we acted with more…passion!” She raised her hands in a grand gesture, obviously oozing pride at having found the word. 

“I always make sure you have the most ostentatious role.” I remind her, and chuckle internally as she doesn’t even really know what ostentatious means. 

“Oh, you’re right,” she realizes before smiling wildly, “I guess I’m just really eager to get started already.”

“We still have to wait until tonight.”

She made an exaggerated frowning face. No maybe I should kill her, we won’t ever really be able to relate, she’s just too insane. I can’t even underst-

BANG BANG BANG

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The door to the trailer flew open and a swat team stomped in with their rifles trained on us. I tense, putting my hands up. Damnit! I shouldn’t have let her distract me, this never would have happened if it weren’t for her. 

A well dressed clean cut man with a marshals badge walks in filtering in front of the swat troopers holding a raised revolver, “Well, looks like I’ve finally caught you, and with your pants down,” he said with an orotund voice. I imagine he’s humouring himself but his tone is deadly serious, “it’s over, you’re going to rot in a cell for the rest of your short short life for what you’ve done.” 

“I have a huge bomb?”

“You think I don’t know how to defuse a bomb”

“Damnit. How’d he know I was bluffing,” I wonder out loud. I’m sitting in the back of the squad car leaning my head against the window, I’m not really thinking of anything right now. Maybe I should be trying to figure some way out of this.

The woman is sitting on the other side of the backseat, her black eyeliner now dripping down her face while she is crying with a dramatic pose, her black hair still looks really nice. I’m suspicous that she isn’t just putting on an act, who is she crying for? Nobody in this car cares. 

The driver hasn’t said a word to us since he started driving a few minutes ago. 

I can’t believe they are just talking us in a squad car, but I guess they only let us put on some under clothes and don’t really think we’re a threat anymore. It’s true we’ve never really done anything without extensive planning, maybe they aren’t wrong. Still how vain can this guy be that he feels the need to drive us personally in his own squad car. 

“Hey didn’t you just pass the sheriffs office?” We’d passed the police department a little bit ago too, where is he even taking us.

“Oh we don’t need to bother with that,” oh he actually graced me with a reply, how vague and ominous though, “you see they just passed a new law, in the case of particularly egregious and incessant perpetrators of unthinkable crimes, an exception can be made to the adherence to standard legal proceedings,” he continued on in a condescending voice, he was lavishing this moment, “I’m taking you straight to Worthheim Maximum Security prison where I can personally watch your execution in a few days. It will just be a short 20 minute drive longer before we get there.”

The woman suddenly wakes up from her dismal display, “What?! NO, you can’t do that! That… that can’t be legal.” 

Could she shout any quieter? It’s like she didn’t even listen to him just say they made it a law, therefore making it legal.

Then again why would I just believe what he says, and that is actually pretty suspect, something like that would be unconstitutional, but maybe with what I’ve done I can believe it. 

She quieted down. Nobody responded to her outburst, but the driver is smiling slightly now. 20 minutes, maybe escape is futile, how could I even get out of this in 20 minutes? 

“I have to go to the bathroom!” she declared suddenly, idiot, did she think that would actually work?

“Just wait 15 more minutes,” the driver responds.

“I can’t, I’m going to… shit all over the seat.” I have to admit she’s achieving a convincing performance. 

“Fine, but make it quick,” he replies after a moment of consideration and glancing back,” there’s an outhouse right there, you try anything stupid and I’ll shoot you.” 

Well this is surprising. Is he actually going to shoot her… if he really wanted to he could have just had the swat team kill us all when they first found us, could have just made up some excuse about… shit would they even need an excuse? They’ve done worse for less. 

We’re on the side of a highway carved into a mountain, we’re pretty deep in the country out here, a dense forest filling the valley below, I’m just waiting in the backseat still while he stands outside the plastic blue latrine with his revolver in hand. Everything else here is green, it’s really quite pleasant, now I just got to figure out how I can help her get us out of this. I’m still stuck in these handcuffs in the backseat. 

If you got stranded in that forest it’d probably be impossible to get out, you’d really be lost in uncharted waters.

It’s starting to rain, pretty heavily all of a sudden. The driver knocks on the door and shouts at her to hurry up. She gets out just a couple moments after rearranging her clothes, looks like she cleaned up her makeup. Why would she even waste time doing that?

pitter - patter

They’re walking back to the car. The rain is pouring now. She still hasn’t done anything yet, he’s opening the door to the backseat for her. Did she actually just have to take a shi-

CRACK

Above the road, the rocks and mud making up the mountain starts sliding down toward us.