Chapter 12 - The Brig's Socialites

Kifirin awakened in a cell. She did not remember how she ended up there, though she was not surprised that the “event” sent her to such a place. Also… she kinda recalled a mighty red flash, and then nothing. 

And right now? Well she was pretty comfortable with the lap pillow and all. Certainly, opening your eyes to a picture of handsomeness gently smiling down at you while you rest on his lap was nice. Real nice. So nice that she felt like kissing him. Deeply. And then proceeding to get more serious on the actual carnal part of their relationship. Relationship? Why yes! They were made for each other, so obviously it was the perfect time to get down to business. Right. Sooooo…… 

*Nothing! You’re in jail Kif! There is no relationship here, no love, no lust, no nothing! He’s a virtual stranger…. Helping you rest your head on his lap. Such a nice stranger… with kissable lips… and….. NO!*

Letting out a squeak, she jumped out of the stranger’s reach and plastered herself against the cell’s wall. Trying to get her bearings back and her hormones under control, a rather embarrassed Kifirin peeked out from under her lashes in order to get more information on her mysterious cell mate.

Riiiight. Information. More like she was gorging herself on his very, very likable appearance. Talk about a hunk. Dreams made flesh. She kinda felt like fanning herself. That was so NOT her… wasn’t she known as the ice queen? Well not anymore… apparently. Nope. She was caught, hook, line and sinker. Happily so. 

Now about our man? His long ruby-red hairs were falling freely on his shoulders, encasing his handsome face. The contrast with his golden tanned skin gave it a sort of inner glow. She knew he was well built, as his tasty black clothes outlined his manly ripped body. Tasty indeed…. *Erm erm, objectivity Kif! Ob-jec-ti-vi-ty!*

Why yes! Objectivity. There’s no harm in naming a manly guy manly is there? Though if she had to give him a name on the fly it would be dream guy (Obviously Kifirin is biased, don’t mind her)

Anyways! While a silent “dream guy” was laughingly gazing at her, our heroine raked her brains for something to say while continuing her observation. That’s then her eyes met his… it drew her in, their red swirling depths. Her heart skipped a beat as she felt herself get absorbed into a pool of ….love. Love so pure, so true, so deep… it fought off the endless madness, the boiling chaos … it made it worthwhile. She felt home. Free and yet grounded. Adored. Cherished…… and scared.

So scared! She was drowning in love.

Too much, it was too much! It was wrong and yet it felt so right. Terrified, Kifirin tore her eyes from the intense gaze of her cell-mate, witnessing a flash of pain on his face so brief that she thought she must have imagined it. He smiled though, nodding as if agreeing on something only himself was privy to, and presented himself:

“Hello M’hala. You were so cute in your sleep I couldn’t stop myself from taking you into my arms. I may also have tasted your lips… they were divine. I want seconds but alas I have to take my leave…. So…. Whenever you feel like calling me just ask for Troll King L. I may be busy right now but I guarantee you we’ll be seeing each other’s again. Soon M’hala. Soon.”

Smirking at her reddening face, he saluted with a wave of an imaginary hat and disappeared in the middle of a bunny eared kiss-kiss.

Poof went the troll king.

“Aaaaaaaargh! Bastard!” went Kifirin. Had there been anything in the jail she would have broken it in a fit. She was raving mad. *A troll! He’s THAT fucking troll! That…… he’s dead. History. Haha. Don’t you underestimate a scorned woman!* (who’s a scorned woman? Irrational Kifirin, so irrational!) 

Yes, this first official meeting left them both with a special taste in the mouth, Kifirin’s being real spicy indeed. His? It was sweet, and yet salty from the tears. 

Calming down, she turned around and spotted her 2 companions of infortune sleeping in the adjoining cell. It took over an hour of Kif twiddling her thumbs for them to come around. As soon as they came out of grogginess they engaged in conversation.

…………..

“Hi, I’m Kifirin, rogue extraordinaire. You guys? “

“Vyx, trader Vyx “

“Lennart, Paladin“

“Sooooo…. Lennart right? What are you doing in the brig? I mean, me and Vyx? That’s understandable, a given really… but you? You only tried to help am I not right?” 

“Beats me, I fainted right after the pope unleashed a freaky aura. It was a red flash. Then I woke up here with the merchant… after which you talked to us”

Vyx snorted. “Right. He sure helped. You, kind sir, were laughing your ass out! There were tears streaking out of your eyes for fuck’s sake! Did you ever think that the dignitaries would take our explication seriously after such a display of.… of…. whatever.”

“Well yes I laughed. But really… who wouldn’t have? The pope got mauled by those beasts while Kif was doing a profanities showdown with the perverted crackpot. I mean, really…. You don’t see that kind of shit every day!”

No, people certainly never saw anything even close to what happened that day. It became legendary, and not much ever held a candle to it in terms of madness. The whole human world watched logs of the event through media channels and searched for the 4 heroes of the story but didn’t find them IRL (not the unwilling at least).

In game though? That’s another story….

“Right….. The crazy witch. What’s up with her anyway? She was chasing you when you collided into me was she not? How did she end up like that? She was pretty messed up” asked Vyx, genuinely curious

“I have no idea. I met her first near the entrance of the vity. I was eeeeeh…. Kindly asking for her help with something (Her life! Haha!) when she began groping me. It grossed me out so I kinda did a disappearing act on her (lie!), and then a few weeks later I spotted her in the middle of the market…. And the rest…. well it’s history. Anyways, what the fuck was in your vials? The beasts went bonkers as soon as it touched us!”

“Pheromones. I had an order for different kinds. When the vials broke they mixed and had… an unexpected result” Vyx smoothly lied his way out of it.

Ding! 

Kifirin was awarded by a system notice, as were the boys

System notice: You have earned a title!

 [Forcefully Equipped ]Title : Mayhem’s run hysterical front row runner

As the first would be victim and front row runner of the mayhem’s run, you became a celebrity!

•    Fame : +2 000 (x2)

•    Charisma : +20 (x2)

•    Luck: +20 (x2)

•    Stamina +20 (x2)

Whenever you are within 30 m of any other Mayhem’s run member, the stats given by this title shall be doubled

Very subtly she looked at the boys. Oh my. They sure had been spoiled. Vyx was the ~Mayhem’s run seedy merchant~ and Lennart the ~Mayhem’s run untimely laughing lad~. 

“Well that was unexpected” said Lennart

Vyx harrumphed “Obviously… the title system is broken I tell you! Some get embarrassing titles for everything and anything these days while others go on their merry life never getting any. We’re struck with these ones for 48 hours. Hardy-har-har. At least it’s better that the one I got during the great earthquake of Heimlin. ~Turned on earthquake freak #8~ was slapped on me… and for no reason at all. It was the adrenalin from the fear I tell you, the adrenalin!”

Kifirin perked up. “Interesting. I got the oddball of the earthquake title. Dancing is not weird! We’re title friends, understanding the pain of title bearing! Yay. Anyhoooo, gotta go. I don’t want my cake to explode like last time. Let’s register as friends before though, you never know”

They registered and then she logged out. Looking at her blue offline body, the boys wondered about exploding cakes. (baking powder baby, baking powder)

--------xxx---------

Leaving her capsule, Alya stretched her body on the last HAL song. Then, feeling well in mind as well as in body, our heroine proceeded to take her chocolate cake out of the oven. The smell was heavenly, and she was sure that this time her tinkering the recipe would bear fruits.

Nice ones this time.

She admitted that baking powder was a mistake for the last experiment, but well, you never got anything without trying, didn’t you? And eating was one of her rare pleasures in life, so obviously she would do her best to widen the possibilities of her enjoying it!

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Alya expectantly tasted her precious and…. It was a failure. Adding oil certainly helped with the texture (it was great), but not with the taste. Dayum. She even went as far as to get tasteless oil. A shame! But…. Maybe on tales of fate? Hmmmm, she could use creation-cooking without the NEW after all, and may find some interesting ingredients later on. Yes…. Moreover she now had new friends which would happily play guinea pig for her! Probably? Oh well…. It’s not like they could get bad status effects from normal cooking…. And in the name of science… *hehe*

Taking out her laptop, she used the web to search for VR ingredients that could be used to smooth the texture of a cake. She got sidetracked and was reading about interesting ingredients as well as ways to get her hands on them when a pop up window informed her of something big related to the game. A video. It had apparently earned a few hundred millions views in the span of an hour.

Mayhem’s run. Interesting name. Familiar name. VERY familiar name. She decided to watch it. 

“….”

“Well shit. I’m famous. Thanks god for the persona skill, I would never have lived it down if Danny knew it's me. Or any other person for that matter. But wow, that sure went viral fast. The game master themselves released the video… so it didn’t miss any part of the whole debacle. 

“Haha. Ha“

Her laugh sounded hollow *Dayum. Darius will be laughing his ass out*

She wondered about the punishment she would get for this. Forums were having a blast predicting their fate. Maybe her affiliation to chaos would get her out of jail faster? Jail huh…..

Briefly thinking about the troll king L, she forced herself to brush the though aside, not wanting to open this peculiar can of worms.

Then, sighting, she got rid of the would-be cake and took care of business before reconnecting to the game. In her 4 Ghours of absence, things had apparently escalated. A lot. She found herself smack dab in the middle of a real big argument between the mayhem’s run key players. 

This was gonna be fuuuun

--------xxx---------

The archbishop, red in the face -yet again- was yelling at Lennart, who was -unsurprisingly- laughing madly on the floor. A vein was popping out of the high-dignitary’s temple and spit was flying… yes he was THAT angry. Or far gone, you judge. At this point he was pretty much spouting nonsense. Upon his head, his name, Parish, was graced with the title ~Mayhem’s run apoplexy victim #SucksToBeYou~. A ledger had been unceremoniously dropped on the floor and laid forgotten at his feet. 

Pope Marsh, with the title ~Mayhem’s run almost gang bang #Bestiality #Trololo~ proudly displayed above his head was straining to restrain his maddened archbishop. His soothing words of calm and peace were obviously being ignored by all concerned individuals.

It was a lovely picture, and obviously the reason of Lennart hilarity. It was also a vicious circle. The more one laughed, the madder the other got, and vice versa. Vyx was apparently too flabbergasted to break the stalemate. Ankara? Well, she was the nervous wreak sitting on the side, head on her knees, muttering whatever. The title ~ Mayhem’s run crackpot pursuer~ went well with her sickly complexion. Apparently Archmage Olivia’s removing the hidden status effects took a lot out of her. 

Ding!

System notice:  Sweet reunion

All 6 members of the Mayhem’s run are reunited for the first time since the event, and living up to their reputation… are acting wonky. To commemorate this touching moment, their fame shall reach an all-time high. 

For the next 48 hours, tales of your feats will spread throughout the continent with an ungodly speed (don’t underestimate the rumor’s mill)

>> Fame: +6 000

Thou shalst never be forgotten

Parish foamed at the mouth

Lennart choked on his own laughter

The pope Sighted

Kifirin Gaped

Vyx stared into nothingness

Ankara shut up

The strained silence was then broken by footsteps and the petty argument resumed. 

............

Archmage Olivia had only left the dungeon temporarily to get a certain potion for the little wiccan. Because Parish had insisted, he had taken Ankara to the miscreants’ cell, but her condition had taken a nosedive halfway. Real glad they shared quarters with the alchemist guild, he had gotten back to the magus tower in order to find her Kessalin root potion. It should relieve the queasiness long enough for her to get back on her feet. He would also not allow any mistreatment to come to his future pupil. He knew potential when he saw it .... a wiccan! And with her crazy elemental affinities? Jackpot!

Yes, Olivia was a man. Blame his mother for his name, but she though that it suited him just fine. Was he effeminate because of the name, or did the name make him so? None knows, but his appearance was a great tool, for his foes underestimated him so. One should never forget the might hidden behind the pretty face, for an archmage he was, and a terrible enemy to those who would belittle his accomplishments or his young age.

However, for all his power, right now our Olivia did not know what to do. The atmosphere of the cell was real heavy… talk about pouting, squabbling kids. It felt wrong to intervene. Really, it was awkward. 

Discreetly, he administered the potion to Ankara.

………..

Aggravated, the young Marsh picked the ledger dropped by Parish and said one phrase. One. He was heard though. Maybe it had to do with the tone of his voice. Or his aura? It was kinda visible and pulsing red. Deep red. 

“Everybody, sit down NOW and I shall not be repeating myself”

Looking at him, anybody could tell that he had reached the end of his patience, and this was the pope they were talking about. All the kiddies had an attack of common sense. They felt they had better obey or something bad would happen. To them. And so they all sat down in a nice and neat circle around said angry pope. Even Olivia did so. He was not involved but was certainly not gonna take his chance. 

The pope went on.

“Right. We are presently here to deal with the aftermaths of the… Mayhem’s run. For reasons outside of your understanding” he took a quick, unnoticed peek at Kifirin “you shall not be punished for your behavior in itself. It’s a real mess anyway, the responsibility really can’t be pinned on anybody--”

“What?” squawked Parish, “These miscreants obviously conspired with the forces of order to interrupt our sacred mess and humiliate the chaotic dignitaries, I shall not allow---“

“Nothing” Interrupted the pope. “You have no authority here, and my orders hail from someplace you could not even fathom, so please be kind, and shut it. Considering the blow you took because of your daughter’s… circumstances, I will forgive your behavior up until now, but you better fall in line real fast or I shall remind you why I’m the pope and you only one of the archbishops. Are we clear?”

“Crystal” answered a certain high-dignitary with downcast eyes.

“Good. Now back to business. You may not be punished for your actions, but you certainly will have to pay for their consequences.” Pulling a paper out of the ledger, he began listing the numerous damages piling up in the city as a result of the mayhem’s run.

Infrastructures and goods destruction, injuries, lost goods (some beasts escaped, others died),etc …. The costs were high. Really, really high. It was an insane amount in the thousands of Dakinum credits (hundred millions of gold. In fact the city was pushing most of the price of its entire reconstruction on the church. It was payback for the Red Calamity).

“Because of special and attenuating circumstances, the chaos church shall cover these costs. However, you shall be drafted in community service. It will serve as a sort of reimbursement to us, and a way to atone through effort for you. The details shall be given to you by Parish after I take my leave. No questions?”

“….”    

“Good. Olivia, come with me, we need to talk with the mayor and finalize the amount and distribution of the repair funds.” Heading towards the dungeon’s exit with the mage, Marsh turned around one last time, his long red papal robe flying as he said his farewell to the still sitting group.

He also mentioned his hope that they would meet in different circumstances the next time.

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