“Hello, Booger.”

Purple veins jutted from the burly man’s forehead and his blemished, bearded cheeks burned with rage. His mouth opened, showing rotten teeth from the recesses of his thick red beard. “That’s not my name, you piece of trash!” The two men on his side, one in a blue shirt and the other in yellow, kept egging him on.

Jarl, remaining calm, put his palm up to the man. “Relax. Don’t you see I’m entertaining guests?”

Booger looked at the Drow and scoffed. “A zeroam and a buncha lurking knife-ears? We got stuff to talk about, you and me.”

Knife-ears? That’s a new one. Saffron mused.

He shook his head. “Let’s make it quick then, yeah? You owed a girl money and I’m here to collect.”

“She’s a stinking sheila!” His filthy crimson beard flopped as he screamed.

“True, and by definition, she provided a service in which she expected payment. Instead, you hit her. Is that how your mother raised you?”

Booger heaved his chest up while pointing his finger at Jarl.“Leave my momma out of this! Howsabout me and my boys settle this right now?”

“We can move that way if you’d like, Booger.” He let ice cling to that last word. “Listen, give me the five silver and we’re square.” Jarl had been in enough bar room encounters to know that he would not reach Booger’s sensible side. Men with his size and ego, being furious, would lead him to make mistakes, or at least that is what he counted on.

The ruffian looked at his men and threw his hands up to them. “Get ‘im boys!” Mistake number one.

Yellow shirt and Blue shirt stepped around and flanked Jarl on each side, ignoring the Drow who had moved their chairs even further back.

Blue shirt lunged at the zeroam with his fists clenched and a spring in his step. His mouth opened, and he gave a loud yell. Is that a war cry?

The assailant launched his fist at his target, but the paladin had stepped back to create distance. He swiped empty air as Jarl gripped Blue’s wrist and twisted the scrawny arm behind the man’s back. He stopped twisting when the muffled sound of bone crack and grind reached his ears. Don’t want to hurt him too much, just take the fight out of him.

Yellow shirt’s aggressive approach forced Jarl’s eyes to him. Mistake number two. With a whoosh of air and a gleam of brilliance, a tarnished silver war hammer appeared in his right palm. As he swung the weapon, the brilliant gold accents glistened in the lantern light. The weighted end struck the chest of Yellow shirt, which resulted in a resounding crack deep in his sternum. The injured man slumped to the floor amidst the dirt and shells with a groan.

Jarl, still clutching Blue’s arm, drew the hammer close to his body and pushed it hard into his gut. He let go of his victim’s broken arm, who fell to the floor close to his partner. Blue doubled over and laid there in a heap before emptying the contents of his stomach in a heated mess. Both Jarl and Booger stared at the moaning, retching men for a moment.

“Looks like it’s me and you, Booger. I don’t want it to go this way. Give me the five silver, collect your friends, and head out of here.” The zeroam said through gritted teeth. “So, whaddya say?”

“I told you,” He charged at Jarl.

Mistake number three.

“That’s not my name!” A heavy fist caught Jarl’s chin and sent him back a few feet. A chair splintered under the weight of the crashing paladin.

His tongue traveled through his mouth and felt the painful jab of his fractured tooth mixing with the coppery taste of blood. He spat the remains of his teeth in a crimson puddle on the floor and glared. “All right, then! Let’s get this over with!”

He surged towards Booger, who stepped out of the way of the charging paladin. His thick arms wrapped around Jarl’s waist, keeping a distance between him and the hammer. Hugging the zeroam, he brought him up from the ground and reeled backward.

They both landed with a thud on the grimy wooden planks, causing them to creak and moan under the strain of their combined weight. He rolled onto the zeroam’s back and delivered sharp blows hard into his ribs. Jarl gasped and turned to face Saffron. She remained calm; her legs crossed, sipping her ale and watching the spectacle.

“Don’t...get...up,” Jarl said, grunting. “I got this.”

Saffron laughed. “Yes. It appears you do.”

Booger straddled the paladin and grabbed a fistful of his blond hair. He lowered his face beside Jarl’s ear. “I’m going to kill you, zeroam!” He slammed his chin into the floor, sending brilliant points of light flying in the paladin’s eyes as if a faerie charmed him.

Jarl, dazed but still clutching his hammer, brought it around Booger’s back and contacted the paunchy man in the ribs hidden behind a thick layer of fat. With a yelp, the heavy fellow arched and rolled away from his violence to create distance. “You sum’bitch!”

“Oh, I’m not done yet, Booger!” He picked him up and pushed him against a wooden beam.

Thrusting the head of his hammer under Booger’s filthy, whiskered chin, he heard the deep cracking of teeth splintering. “Know what this is?”

Sweat and snot ran down the man’s face. He remained silent.

“Say it! What is this hunk of steel under your fat jowls?” Jarl pressed against it.

“A...ha...hammer?” He choked out through gritted teeth and fear filled his eyes as tears streamed down through the dirt on his face.

He nodded, his breath strained from the battle. “Yeah, that’s exactly what it is and what do hammers do? They pound nails, don’t they?” Jarl could smell the bitter stink of whiskey from the man’s bleeding mouth. “You look like a 300-pound nail!”

From her vantage point, Saffron saw the silver hammer emit a brilliant green light, casting an eerie glow across the man’s features. Tendrils of shining energy snaked their way up the length of the hammer and into the leather-wrapped handle, which filled Jarl’s hand. A delicate scent of ivy and flowers blanketed the room in an air of earthy freshness. The smell meandered around them with a soothing embrace.

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

Stillness had set over the bar. A few patrons left when the trouble began, others remained engaged in what would happen after the brilliant display of energy. The magic became stronger, and a brief dazzling flash of white light erupted before dissipating a few seconds later.

Time seemed to dance upon his face like a mischievous wizard, leaving traces of experience etched into new lines and creases of his skin. Booger’s hair transitioned from red to silver strands, and his eyes, once full of youthful curiosity, now held the muted depths of a thousand fears.

“NOOOOO!” He bellowed. Tears streamed down his cheeks and dripped onto his stained clothes. Jarl released the man from his grip, who then slumped to the floor. The powerful odor of urine filled their nostrils. A whisper of his evacuated bladder caused a dull wet spot on the man’s crotch.

“Get up and get out of here! I don’t want you to bother me or my friends again. Is that clear?”

Booger looked confused as Jarl held his hand to him. “Take my hand and get out!” He clutched Jarl’s hand and stood on unsteady feet. Jarl wiped his hands on his drab trousers as Blue shirt and Yellow shirt helped their defeated friend remain standing. Neither of them made any comment about the dark, stinking stain of urine or his prematurely-aged complexion. “I’m sorry. Really, I am.” Tears streamed down Booger’s exhausted face and he removed a worn leather pouch that hung from his belt. He tossed it to Jarl.

Carried by his partners, he stumbled through the bewildered patrons. Jarl yelled after him. “Hey!”

Booger turned along with his friends, who suffered from their beating. Jarl’s arm extended, clutching his war hammer. “Have a blessed day.”

With a huff, he dragged his chair back to the table, produced a green kerchief from his leather vest, and dabbed the blood from the corner of his mouth.

Saffron and her party pulled their chairs towards the table. “Well, what an impressive display. What happened to him there in the end? He appeared as if he aged twenty years!”

Jarl removed the napkin from his lips and peered at the crimson mark on it. “Heh. Let’s say I showed him something that scared the piss out of him.”

***

4 minutes ago…

“You look like a 300-pound nail!”

Booger’s eyes moved to stare at the hammer and he saw dazzling green energy move around the silver head. A pleasant scent of ivy and flowers filled his nose and lulled him into a mixture of fear and serenity.

His eyesight blurred, and his vision’s edge darkened like a tunnel closing up to a single point of white light. Soon, he expected, his last moments would come and go. Death would find him from the hands of the zeroam. His mind filled with a thousand possibilities and regrets how he came to this point. I should’ve given him the five silver! He lamented.

A thunderclap roared in his ears, and his vision returned to an amazing clarity. He first noticed the suffocating heat that seemed to sear his skin. The air was thick with the stench of sulfur and screams of anguished cries echoing all around him. Panic gripped his heart as he realized he was no longer in the world he knew.

A sense of nausea washed over him from the stinking burning flesh and spilled bowels littering the black stone below. He now realized he was in the deepest pits of hell itself. Fear and despair clawed at his soul when he understood the gravity of his situation.

I’m dead. The paladin killed me. Panic gripped his brain. A vast expanse of scorched stone and writhing bodies laid out before him. Humans, elves, dwarves, orcs, and unknown monsters sprawled on the ground. Still alive, but their guts splayed open and innards spilling out over the dark volcanic rock.

His searing eyes looked out at a twisted maze of jagged dark rocks and foreboding mountains that tower overhead. An endless blood-red sky stretches to the horizon, casting an eerie glow over the desolate plains below. Rivers of molten lava snake their way through the rocky terrain, sending plumes of noxious smoke into the air. Finally, a massive lake of flaming tar ebbed and flowed near him. Crusted, blackened arms flailed from the blazing surface, then vanish beneath the cracking ebon waves.

Demonic creatures lurk in the shadows, their hungry glowing eyes watching the aimless souls wandering. This was their eternal nightmare of pain and torment. Unfathomable flying beasts screamed overhead until one noticed Booger standing there, naked and vulnerable. Mid-flight, the shrieking demon turned course and flew at him, his barbed tail trailed to the rear. Clawed hands extended in front of his muscled torso and the piercing howls persisted.

A deep, bass-filled voice bellowed from behind him. He wasn’t familiar with the language, but then it spoke in the King’s common tongue. “Scatter beasts! This plump little partridge is mine!”

Booger turned around. His jaw dropped at the frightful creature that loomed over him. The monster’s bloated body was a sickly shade of red. Oily boils covered his skin and pulsated with a putrid scent that filled the air as they burst. This monster is twenty heads high! The living dead clung to him like desperate leeches. Their hollow eyes and screams pleaded for release from their eternal suffering. Best described as a macabre tableau of horror, a monstrous being surrounded by the anguished souls he had condemned to an eternity of torment.

The flying beast howled and acknowledged the demon. It dashed back into its flight path, cackling and screaming the entire time.

The demon’s attention returned to the fresh meat. “Now, aren’t you a tasty morsel? I will consume you, bones and all. You’ll spill from my bowels and reform, feeling every second of torment. I’ll eat you again and again for a thousand years!” Thick barbed fingers reached down to pick Booger up.

He attempted to run, but his limbs failed to respond. He couldn’t tell if fear held him in place or an arcane power the monster had over him. The creature laughed and plucked him from the stony ground. Booger opened his mouth to scream but only managed a raspy whimper.

He sensed his midsection stretching as the demon roared and began tugging the man’s arms above his head. The beast seized his legs and yanked them as hard as he could. The soft skin around his belly tore, and Booger prayed to any God that would listen that he would soon pass out from the ripping suffering. His prayers remained unheard and unanswered.

His ears filled with a horrible tear like dry, decaying fabric as the heated air surged into his gaping cavity. A look of shock displayed on his face as his guts spilled to the ground below, though he continued to be awake. “Please,” he whimpered. “Let me die.”

The beast released a huge, roaring howl. “Oh, my dear boy, it’s not that easy. Here, you are immortal!” As his grimy lips parted, he revealed jagged rows of razor teeth. Booger saw emerald serpents swaying back and forth inside his black mouth, their jaws open, fangs gushed pearlized venom. The last sensation he felt was the beast’s teeth clamping down and the snakes latching onto his face. “NOOOOO!”

The familiar flash of light and pleasant smell of ivy woke him, and he stared into the eyes of the zeroam. The paladin released his grip and a warm trickle of urine spilled through his pants.

Life blessed him once again, and he was grateful for it.

***

The present.

Once the commotion ended, Jarl pulled his chair back over to the group and sat. The crowded saloon patrons returned to their drink and mirth. “So,” Saffron broke the ice. “What was that about?”

Jarl gulped his milk and with a heavy breath said, “Booger, a.k.a. Joss Sarmald, the Mayor’s son, paid a visit to a working girl the other night. From what I gather, everyone had an enjoyable experience, until they didn’t.” He rubbed the spot on his jaw where Booger had struck him. “Anyway, the time came for him to pay, and instead of giving her his silver, he gave her a five-fingered tip.” He showed a fist to the drow.

“He hit her?” Dayne’s eyes narrowed and his brow furrowed.

Jarl looked at him and nodded. “Yeah, pretty good too. Broke her nose and a few teeth. The girls asked me to get the money from him.” He held up a tiny leather pouch and let it fall to the table. She heard the recognizable jingle of coins as it clattered next to his mug. “And I did. There’s over five silver in there, but she deserves it.” He leaned back in his chair and sipped his strawberry milk.

“Well, you certainly made your point, I think.” Saffron admired his demeanor. She had met many humans in her travels, but to meet one with his brand of moral fortitude struck a chord in her. His kind rarely hold others in high regard and will screw each other over the first chance they get. Jarl could have kept the extra silver he lifted from Booger, but he stuck to his word. He is going to give the woman all the money so perhaps she can find a better life. A blend of kindness with strength.

Jarl was definitely unique.