This had been a rough day, got woken up from a four-month nap, dealt with a moderately attractive robot spontaneously generating in his closet, got to enjoy the benefits of a four-month genetic modification spree resulting in an hour of insane, mind aching headaches, and now was staring at his bathtub, both valves all the way open and not a single drop coming out. Because he was an idiot, and didn’t realize that four months of assorted planets being stitched together and sheer neglect would result in a distinct lack of general utilities.
Thankfully, he had the foresight to buy multiple cases of bottled water, and so had a quasi sponge bath with a pumice stone. On the plus side, his skin was baby butt smooth, not a blemish anywhere on it. His eyesight was better than it had ever been, removing his prior need for corrective lenses and even seemed to be amplified a bit. Then there was the fact that he felt amazing, better than he ever had before. Having your body’s capabilities doubled will do that.
His mind slowly getting sharper as the headache slowly drained, granting him more and more clarity and concern as it did. He had a Machina in his house, the Solution would start the tests soon to determine who got to serve in the military and gain honors and skill, and by extension power. He needed to ace those tests, from early on he needed to grab the allies his notes told him about. This would be a hard divergence from his past experiences, never before had he negotiated with early tests. The Solution was brutal, mostly uncaring, but eternally fair. It would only ever accept an equal exchange and seats on the Senate, automatic citizenship, and their own Sphere was extremely hefty. The tests would kill a lot of people, which meant that his guides would start breaking down in usefulness almost instantly. He needed to move fast.
*Welcome Beings of PT-4739921047-3-Designate Earth, to the Solution. The first test will commence in 76 local hours.
Supplies and training are available at the Beacons located nearby population centers, you have been rewarded with 2000 credits. You are expected to be ready and waiting for the next test.*
If you’ve ever put on headphones hand had the volume a couple of notches past comfortable then you get the general idea of what the Solution sounded like. It wasn't actually a sound mind you, just the feeling of a voice, the words projected directly into your mind. Jonathan, newly clean and alert headed downstairs, poking Shae to get her attention, as the Machina appeared to be lost in thought, or perhaps catnapping.
“Come on, stick with me, you should be fine. We need to get to the beacon before all the good stuff is taken. It’s first come first serve.” Shae jolted alert at his voice, eyes narrowing at his words.
“I was informed to continue to function I need a biological sapient to pull energy from. Apparently I can’t just plug into a socket to charge. This is not cool. How do I complain to the thing that literally just rewrote the laws of physics?” Shae asked in an annoyed tone.
“If you need to you can pull from me. I’m not gonna be able to use the energy for quite a while anyway. You should be warned before you do though that it’s going to result in some weird side effects. If I start to pass out please stop, I don't know if it can harm me or not. I could be fine, but the Solution likes to do things like that and not tell people about it.” A bitter grimace followed the statement, lots of examples of what not to do were in his notes.
Thankfully the nearest beacon was less than a mile away, situated in what used to be a large open area of downtown with decorative fountains and statues. It was relatively easy to find, as it was getting dark and there was a massive pillar of light streaming from it.
The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.
“By the way, Shae,” Jonathan began. “I’m not sure if you noticed, but the world is now an inverted globe with roughly 14 times the surface of the earth.” On the plus side, he mused to himself, airline flights would be shorter. He still needed to figure out how the sun worked in this new world. He never did get the hang of that.
"I had noticed, thanks. It's starting to make my brain itch." She was oddly like a teenager, grouchy and bubbly at the same time.
The glow from the Beacon grew brighter as they approached, eventually revealing a tall crystal-shaped structure with the beam emitting from the top, a large overhang, not unlike a sunroof covering the surrounding area and filled with kiosks.
"Come on, I need to sort out a formality really quick.”
He headed over quickly to the Kiosk he knew he needed, it would only allow one human through before closing. It was about halfway between the edge of the roof and the crystal spire, on the northwest side. It was a large glass panel, see-through until he touched it and it lit up, turning into a touchscreen display with a long, scrolling list.
“Welcome to the Vodrial Academy of Combat! Would you like to see our catalog or register for classes?” A chipper voice sounded out of hidden speakers, a small floating image of the Avian virtual assistant appearing in the corner.
“I’d like to register for classes, dual Major in Antimagic and Bladework, Minor in Military Theory.” Maybe this time he wouldn’t have to argue with them about it.
“Unfortunately we cannot offer Antimagic or Military Theory classes to non-citizens, and as your world is newly introuduce---” The assistant was cut off by Jonathan loudly interrupting.
“Speak to a representative!” Every goddamn automated system was the same, like dealing with an ISP or phone company, thankfully the Solution required the Kiosks to have representatives ready and waiting for that keyword to jump in.
“Hello! My name is Glitters Like Snow!” The face that now appeared was vaguely humanoid, with a sharp, owl-like beak and bright grey feathers. “What can we help you with today sir/madam?”
“Hi, your assistant is outdated and is unaware of the citizenship status of the Sapients of PT-4739921047-3-Designate Earth. As a result, it was attempting to disallow me from taking a dual Major in Antimagic and Bladework, with Minor in Military Theory. If you look through your records you will find that all sapients on PT-4739921047-3-Designate Earth are citizens of the Senate. Could you get me signed up for classes please?” Be polite, but not subservient. Get walked on here and you lose before the game has even begun.
“Hmm, that’s quite unusual. Ah, I see the problem, it was resolved during initial integration, There will of course be an enrollment fee of 100 credits, with class fees of 1400 credits, and another 200 credits in equipment fees. When paid you will be transported via Gate to our subspace pocket and subjected to time acceleration of no less than thirteen times Solution Standard. Your requested course takes between twelve and twenty-four weeks and if dropped cannot be taken again. Do you understand?” There we go, Jonathan thought triumphantly got them to read the prompts and ignore the irregularities. Just another bored office worker.
“Sorry, I meant the accelerated course, with test-out options. PT-4739921047-3-Designate Earth Is currently undergoing testing and I need to be back in less than seventy-six local hours.” Flustered just a little off-balance, but not so much that it makes them defensive.
“Ahh, I see... “ The avian replied while furiously typing. “The same restrictions and rules apply, with an additional 200 credit fee, bringing your total to 2000 credits. Would you like to pay upfront or see our payment options?”
“I’ll pay upfront, central gate, or Kiosk?”
“Kiosk for accelerated tracks. Payment received, the kiosk will transport you soon, I’m Glitters Like Snow and thank you for choosing Vodrial Academy of Combat for your higher education today!” The connection cut as the kiosk dissolved into a large swirling portal.
‘Here we go again’ Jonathan thought as he stepped through.
Faint ribbons of light swirled in his not-vision, his not-head swimming as he hurtled through a place that was everywhere and nowhere all at once.