A normal day doesn't consist of being yanked out of the middle of taking a shower by a higher being with a bunch of kids and being told you will be given gifts and to be a "Goddesses" chosen....
It also doesn't include the higher being having the mental capacity of a gnat.
But well.... Great power doesn't always mean great responsibility, and in this case I'd say I got the nail on the head.
Well before we get to how I'm standing bare ass to the wind in the smack dab middle of a throne room let me give you all a small backstory of how I ended up in what I now officially call the worst day of my life.
The top things people realize when they meet me for the first time is useally the fact I look pretty darn good for being my age,31. I still look like I'm in college, be it my towering height of 6ft 7in., Shockingly bright green eyes or my dyed cotten candy pink hair, I take my bets seriously but that's for another time, and after they notice my face they notice the large scar right across my neck which was delivered to me via a free flying bat rendering talking much less makeing noise the equivalent of a dieing frog. Now I know your wondering what does all of this have to do with the story! Well,simple, the goddess who was picking her "chosen" much like a kid in a candy store decided she liked the flavor based on the color and she happened to want to ship me out mid shower.
I'm now standing Stark naked in a brightly lit in what I assume is a room holding my hands over my junk with only a bar is soap to my name with four other people, all looking as shocked as me, well some more shocked after they see me struggling to hide what I could .
As I grip the soap bar in horror and try my best to cover myself with my hands as water drips off me I'm stuck face to face with what looks to be four highschool kids and me trying to mime out "No! I'm not a exhibitionist!!" and try to save what remains of my dignity but I don't think they understand as the next thing I hear is the females shrieking loudly and covering their eyes.
"Dude! What the hell! Where are we! And why the hell are you naked!" Shouts a clearly pissed off redheaded teen.
"You shouldn't walk around naked, you will get arrested for public indecency" Remarked the calm and collected teen with black hair.
If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
"O.M.G. my eyes! You assaulted my eyes!" The golden headed girl in a voice that hit a few high octave.
"Ugh! Anyone have bleach? I need my brain scrubbed clean!" A girl with a head of long white hair groaned out"
As I struggled to communicate that my new nudist nature isn't my doing the culprit decided to show up.
In a flash of blinding golden light, what I would assume if Marilyn Monroe had a threesome child between a elf and some sort of wood nymph like beauty stood before us, standing at 8ft with looks that put .. well everyone to shame stood the reason we are all stuck in this position. Hair of pure spun diamonds, eyes that rival a sun, lips that make a Ruby hide in shame, and a body more killer than even the most deadly venom, and the thought process that could confound even the most intelligent of species.The reason my new best friend is a bar is soap and what remains of my dignity is hanging on by a thread.
"Hello, my Children, my Heros, my Chosen! I have gathered you here to help me! To defeat the evil spreading across my lands! And to help you I will give each of you a gift!" The deity claimed and before anyone had a second to disagree we all were swept into a flashback of the first 15 years of our lives.
1 year old- "He's going to grow up to be a amazing singer!"
5 years old -"Bennie, time for your music lesson!"
7 years old- "Ben, congratulations you've won first prize
9 years old- "I plan to stand in the syndy Opera House!"
14 years old- "Look out!" -CRUNCH- " Oh God! Call a ambulance!" "Hang in there kid , it will be ok!"
15 years old- "I'm sorry but even with the surgery the prognosis doesn't look ideal... Look I have some pamphlets I think you need to look at... There are devices now that can assist you in everyday life..."
As we all came to the goddess looked at each of us with a smile. " I have seen your life and know the perfect gift to give each of you! I will send you down to my people so you may go and embark on your mission" with a wave of her manicured hand and a flash of blinding light and smoke we found ourselves deposited in the throne room of what I could only assume someone with very expensive tastes lived, while I'm not saying aloud it was gaudy one could easily come to such a conclusion with the highly used color purple and the abundance of gold covering nearly every surface, even the little bit of not covered floor showing marble had gold veins and flecks weaved into it. And this is also when I lost my last speck of dignity, for the goddess had not seen to deliver me to my fate fully dressed and somewhere along the trip, my lone friend Mr. Soapbar had gotten off on another stop. At least I was dry now, even though I was covered head to toe in dried and crusted soap and shampoo.
I hope to any being that if this is how delivery service works the "gift" wasn't as badly designed because it didn't come with a receipt.
"Guards! Cover that man this instant!"