“Always get paid up front.”
-Illudian mercenary code, circa 1000 GA.
“QUERY IMMACULATE PLANETARY SURFACE FOR RESIDENCE OF CRYSTALLINE HEART.” Battus Vates jumped in his seat, stifling a curse from the sudden loud and grating robotic voice that roused him from his daydream. He looked up quickly, taking in the hulk of a red quartz crystal standing in front of the help desk.
Whatever just spoke seemed to be a bipedal creature of some sort, about 7 feet tall, two arms, two legs, and a head, sort of. But they were made entirely out of some bright red mineral formation, quartz maybe? And there were speckles and veins of metal in there, too. Silver, or quicksilver, probably.
Their whole body was formed like someone tried to make a person out of a giant crystal, but had giant clumsy hands, leaving huge chunks of mineral formations growing out of it like crystallized stalactites. Whenever they moved, faint sounds like glass breaking and rocks grinding against each other could be heard, crystal formations breaking and reforming at breakneck speeds.
They seemed to be reluctant to approach.
“Can I help you? Uh… sir?” Battus offered.
The crystal-shaped rock recoiled, as if Battus’ words themselves were hurting them. The creature reached a rocky, hand-like appendage laced with silver metal to a device attached to their head, seeming to adjust something. It was difficult to tell from inside the dim booth, but they appeared to be flashing light rapidly.
“TRANSLATION ADJUSTMENT. Apologetic. Request. Remove memory of past interaction. Additional request. Translation accuracy. Response?” The creature’s device spat out a flat and robotic voice.
“Uh… closer. But your manners could use an adjustment.” Battus was used to dealing with new species passing through every day, but this was definitely unusual. The crystal being again shifted their arm, moving and reforming to configure some sort of invisible interface in front of them.
“Translator requires more tuning. Adjustment process over time. Designation: Mercury. Mercury seeks planetside assistance; specification, local guidance to indicated coordinates,” Mercury flashed and the translator spoke, using a physical gesture to pull up a simple geometric hologram of the planet’s surface, with a red dot their bulky hand pointed to.
“Reasonable compensation in a currency or available barter may be arranged, as necessary,” Mercury gestured to its tiny companion, and the little robot hopped up onto Battus’ wooden counter. It opened a compartment in its side lined with chunks of gold, silver, and other materials he didn't recognize.
Battus nodded. Being a local guide was something he was familiar with, it was pretty much routine. This Mercury must be looking for a sightseeing spot, or perhaps meeting up with its other rock friends. Someone taken for Granite, or some other Schist. Gneiss. Battus smirked at his own jokes to himself before responding.
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
“Yeah. I'm your guy. Battus Vates, Galaxy Warp information and tours.”
“Acceptable. You will guide designation Mercury to this location,” Mercury paused for a moment. “...your facial configuration indicates confidence, arrogance? This designation finds these traits unwelcome.”
“By all means, you’re welcome to look for someone else to take you to that dangerous place….” Battus leaned back in his chair and clasped his hands behind his head, shrugging. He could probably coax a bit more gold out of this tourist, or have someone else go through the trouble. To be honest, their personality and the translator’s tone were kinda grating on him.
“Affirmative. Departing,” Mercury turned, shifting on their legs and began walking in another direction. Battus, suddenly remembering he was woefully behind on his weekly quotas (not to mention his rent), hopped up from his chair, holding an arm out.
“But, ah, you won’t find anywhere else with a better deal!” Battus offered, pulling down a shoddy homemade sign with a pull string that read “Illudia Tours - 10,000 5000 Galactic Credits!!”. Mercury seemed to consider this offer for a moment, then nodded.
“Acceptable price range. Within budgetary constraints.”
“Great, so we've got a deal then,” Battus took a hefty, dusty device from under the counter, both a till for uncommon currencies as well as a scale for raw valuable materials, such as gold. Mercury made a gesture to the little robot, and it ejected a nugget onto the scale.
“Let's see…” Battus muttered to himself, punching in a few numbers into the (quite outdated) device. “With local exchange rates, their gold would be worth about… 6701 credits?”
“Its,” corrected Mercury, who gestured again to its robot companion, which deftly sawed through the chunk of gold with a precise laser. A claw arm emerged from a panel on the robot’s back, taking the smaller portion. The machine confirmed it was worth exactly 5000 credits.
“This designation; correction, I am of the preference to not delay. For swift assistance, the remainder of the gold is for you to keep, once this assignment is completed. With me, you will ascend; correction, we will fly to the destination with your assistance in my vessel ship Shard spaceship ERROR!” Mercury suddenly appeared to be aggravated, whacking the side of its headset, which seemed to recalibrate the device.
Battus nodded again, stashing the larger nugget in the register with the “ka-ching!” ring of an analog bell. He grabbed his signature navy blue jacket, notably NOT part of his plain black uniform, which he wore regrettably anyway, from a nearby coat rack. He smacked a button on the underside of the counter, changing the information sign to an OUT OF SERVICE message scrolling across the marquee in several Illudian languages. He almost didn't bother, and unless this rock’s ship was as aerodynamic and unbecoming as it was, then Battus would be back before lunch. Maybe he’d pop down to the Dragon’s Jewel and have a brew. Or four.
His mind wandered as he followed Mercury, the quartz creature half-walking, half shifting its legs into the next step’s position. Did it say something about a crystal heart? Why did that sound familiar? His mind drifted off into another daydream as they headed back through the Galaxy Warp, into the long line of various spaceships coming and going from the port.