Sitting before Jim, with unkempt long black hair, dark rings under her eyes, and a face so red that it could only come from days of mourning was Lukas mother Angelica. She was recounting the events that led to the death of her husband John.
It all escalated when the couple met a gorilla who escaped from the zoo. Both the gorilla and the apes Jim previously encountered came from this zoo. Their city had only one zoo after all.
Considering the size of their city the zoo was relatively small, but had quite a selection of animals. Holding countless dangerous animals in one place was now going to bite them back twofold.
After the light, the couple had a car crash, which was fortunately harmless compared to what Jim had already seen. They didn’t know what to do and went to the first place they knew was safe and was sure to have people to help them with; the church. On their way, they encountered this fully mutated gorilla.
After witnessing firsthand what dogs or cats were able to do Jim could vividly imagine what a gorilla was capable of. John seemed to know this too as he tried to buy time for his wife to flee.
Grabbing a random piece of wood from a splintered park bench he tried to stab the gorilla in the eye. Sprinting with full force he held the wood like a spear, fully knowing he could die, and before the wood could even reach the face of the gorilla it was casually slapped away. Completely baffled by the strength John was wide open and his legs soon dangled in the air, as the gorilla casually held him with one hand at his throat.
Trying to turn his head back John looked one last time at his wife and mouthed the words ‘I love you-’
*SPLURT*
From behind Anglecia could see an arm completely covered in black fur - now stained with red - shoot out from the back of her husband. Gasping for air she looked at the hand of the arm only to see the heart of her husband.
Her vision blurred, she vomited on the spot and was frozen with fear. She turned away, but could still hear the sound of the arm being ripped out, which was soon followed by a splash sound as if a lump of fresh meat was thrown to the ground.
After the splash sound followed the sound of the dead body of her husband hitting the ground. She was unwilling to move, see or even hear what was happening around her. She just cowered into a ball on the ground awaiting her impending doom.
As the seconds ticked by she grew restless and couldn’t stop the sensation of looking at what the gorilla was doing. Taking a glimpse she was shocked to find out that the gorilla was fighting with a huge black bird.
It was a wild and confusing dance of the gorilla throwing empty punches in the air, while the bird attacked gracefully with precise slash wounds, slowly depleting his stamina and accumulating wounds. Witnessing the battle the mother was finally able to break free from her daze and fled without looking back. In the end, she was able to successfully reach the church but had lost her will to set another foot outside of the walls, knowing that her only son was still out there.
As she said the last part of her tragic story, the last bit of strength left her body as she began to cry even more miserably. Shocked, Lukas listened to the whole story as he looked at his weeping mother kneeling before him.
Realizing what she just said Lukas slowly kneeled before her. Tears already flowering down, he hugged her like a treasure he would never let go of. After some time he said with a shaky voice, “M-Mum it's fine. We still have us.”
Grabbing the head of his mother he looked her straight in the eyes and said, “W-We can… no, we will survive this. Together. You are not alone anymore. As long as we have us everything is going to be fine.”
His mother then leaned her head into his shoulder and started to weep in silence. Lukas slowly stroked her head to comfort her. He didn’t stop crying either but there was something else in his mourning eyes.
It was pure rage and determination. While clenching his teeth Lukas swore to himself that he would avenge his father and if it was the last thing he did.
Other than Charlotte's parents and Luka's mother there was no other parent from Jim's group. For the others of the group, their family's location was still a mysterium. They could be alive, dead, or fighting at that very moment. No one knew.
The remaining of Jim’s group split up to prepare themself for tomorrow. Everyone prepared differently. The threat of death was always there, taking into consideration what monster they were facing.
Since the world changed a week ago the group had to constantly fight for survival. Death lurked behind every corner and even if they gained more confidence in killing these mutants one mistake still meant death.
They didn’t want to fight but what choice did they have? Doing nothing and just waiting for their death? No! They had to fight if they wanted to survive. The beasts were evolving too fast.
No one knew how many rank two mutants would roam the street in another week or even month. They could very well double if not triple in numbers. Over time more and more threats like this raven will appear. They had to do something and this fast. Either they adapt as fast as these beasts or perish forever.
Nobody knew when society would return to normality or if it could recover at all. They had to expect the worst. Finally getting some time alone Jim decided to look around the church. Even in times like these, it was as spectacular as he remembered. The beautiful garden, the small field, and the houses along the walls.
The houses were in the style of medieval times and with all the people doing their best in helping and making this situation just a little better it looked even more lively in comparison to all the ruins, misery, and death Jim had to see for the past week.
You only realize how much you appreciate something when it's taken from you. At this moment it even felt a bit like nothing happened. For a short moment, Jim thought that everything returned to normal.
A slight smile formed on his lips as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath of fresh air. It was relatively silent in the garden he was standing in. He felt at peace and opened his eyes to look at the sky.
It was covered in clouds concealing the sun's warming rays behind it but like a welcomed greeting, the clouds slowly parted, revealing a ray of sunshine that fell on Jim’s face. Bathing in the rays of light that caressed his face Jim could feel the heavy weight on his soul lessen.
“The sun is truly the only thing that gives me hope in these hard times.”
Jim was broken out of his blissful moment as Solaire came to his side looking at the mesmerizing sun. He spread his arms into the air and said, “Praise the sun.”
He then lowered them to his chest to touch a silver necklace that had an ornament of a golden sun hanging from it. With his curiosity piqued Jim asked, “Solaire I know I already asked in the past but why do you believe in the sun?”
With a smile, the priest finished his prayer before turning his attention to Jim, “You know Jim. I never told you the reason why I believe in the sun because it doesn't matter what we believe in but that we believe at all. Religion is a tool that can give people hope and strength to live on. Life can be very hard and sometimes humans need something they can rely on to gain new strength to keep going.
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When I returned from war and most of my comrades and friends were dead I didn’t know what I should do with my life. I never had a lover, was raised as an orphan and apart from my long military service, I had nothing else in life. Witnessing for yourself, seeing with your own eyes, one friend after the other dying until you were left with almost none, will help you understand what true loneliness is.
I was no longer allowed to continue my career in the military, because of… issues. I was forced into early retirement and was given enough money that I couldn’t spend my entire life. Not that I had use for it. The last thing I wanted after my service was luxury, alcohol, and the company of other women.
I fell into a very dark hole, where everything became meaningless for me. Wanting to end my suffering I got on the highest building I could find to commit suicide. It was very early in the morning and as I looked into the distance the sun was slowly rising.”
Looking at the sun again Solaire asked, “Do you know what I realized at that moment?”
Following Solaire's gaze Jim shook his head, “No.”
“That life, in the grand picture of the universe, is meaningless. In comparison to this huge sun, my life was meaningless. Without the sun every form of life on this planet wouldn’t exist, to begin with.
After realizing this I learned something even more important: My life doesn't have to be as grand as the sun to be meaningful. I have to give my life its own meaning and even the small matters were enough to be meaningful, then compared to the sun it didn’t matter how big or small your actions were. They all paled in comparison to its brilliance.
Compared to the sun my actions may seem meaningless but to the people, I could help my actions were most definitely not. So at that moment, I decided to help people not because I wanted to gain something but because I wanted to do something good… something meaningful.”
Solaire looked away from the sun to look at Jim who returned the look. “Jim, everything comes one day to an end. Life and death are a cycle. Even the sun will one day end. It will become brighter and brighter and then… explode. At this moment it will shine one last time brighter than it has ever before, shining its brilliance far and wide, before vanishing forever.
Afterward, there will be no more sun. This death isn't the end, as ever death also brings new life and this cycle repeats itself for infinity or until nothing is left. The sun gave me new hope and meaning. That is why I started to worship it.”
Jim looked at Solaire in fascination and asked, “What is my meaning in life?”
Solaire smiled and said, “That my boy is something you have to find yourself.”
Just before Jim and Solaire started their conservation, Clay was looking for Solaire. He wanted to ask questions about his ability as he was very fascinated by this new turn of events and hoped to find out how it worked.
He already made more than enough notes on the transformation and had a fairly good understanding of the regular differences between transformations, so he was eager to experiment further with the thing Jim discovered and the powers of Solaire.
With this in mind, he looked for him before stumbling over Jim in this rather secluded spot of the church. He wanted to approach Solaire but stopped himself after noticing their conversation not wanting to interrupt them.
The last question, in particular, piqued his interest.
What is my meaning of living?
But before he could ponder further about this question Solaire stared at him and asked, “Do you need something?”
Torn out of his thoughts, Clay remembered why he was even there and then began to ask about Solaire’s powers and his experience with them. They started to stroll around while talking, leaving Jim in a daze as he looked back at the sun and thought.
The meaning of my life huh? After some time he shook his head and thought, I should concentrate on finding my family before pondering about the meaning of life.
***
Later on that day, Jim was unable to sleep. He just had too much to think about so he got up and out of the garden to get some fresh air and calm his nerves.
Getting closer to his destination he could hear a strange sound. It almost sounded like someone was sniveling and after getting into the garden Jim found out that his guess was right as he saw Lukas weeping on one of the benches.
Realizing that someone was there Lukas shot his head up. With an awkward smile, he said, “That is a bit embarrassing.”
”I don’t think so,” said Jim with a smile. “I mean you have a more than good reason for being sad so what is embarrassing about it?”
“Yeah probably,” mumbled Lukas, while looking at a flower. “This whole solution is just so…”
“Unreal,” helped Jim. “Yes exactly… everything is just so weird, bizarre, and confusing. I don’t understand the world anymore,” said Lukas with a frown.
“Do you want to talk? I’m always feeling better after talking to someone.”
“N-No, I mean yes… maybe? Ah, fuck. I don’t know,” responded Lukas with frustration.
With a shrug, Jim said, “I don’t know if I’m able to help you, but I’m gonna try my best”
With a sigh, Lukas gave in and began to talk, “It's just so unbelievable. I can’t believe that just a week ago my biggest problem was the next exam and now I have to fight for my life every single day and everyone around me is slowly dying without me being able to do anything.”
“You know what the worst is?” Lukas asked while raising his voice not waiting for an answer. “I was helpless. Fucking useless, not present when my family needed me the most, not that it would matter with the power I hold… I’m just so weak,” said Lukas like a deflated balloon.
“Yeah,” said Jim with a painful sigh. “I know what you mean. We all saw over the past week so much death that we will be traumatized for the rest of our lives and are probably not right in the head; not anymore. The world will probably never return to what it used to be and this thought is…”
“Frightening,” completed Lukas with hazy eyes.
“Right,” said Jim in agreement. “A truly frightening thought, when I have to think that I have to fight like this for the rest of my life.”
“You know Jim, I always wondered how you are dealing with this situation. Are we realistic, you didn’t see the corpses of your family but how high is the chance that they survived? How high is even the chance that any of us survive the next day?”
“I don't know, I can’t give a guarantee whatsoever. We can only try our best to survive and keep going,” responded Jim with a weak smile. “You know I don’t want to… no, force myself not to think too much about it but my family is very unlikely to be still alive. Most likely I’m just searching for their corpses but you know what?”
Not waiting for an answer he continued, “Before I do not see the corpses of them I have hope. Hope that they are still alive and well somewhere. That they are just waiting for me to come back.”
Looking at the sky, feeling his tears well up, he said, “You know I talked with Solaire and he told me about his life. A life that was full of suffering, hardship, and eventually loneliness. Yet he somehow still found the will to live on. Do you know why he was able to do this?”
Lukas lifted his head in curiosity to look Jim in the eyes and shook his head. “No.”
“Because he found meaning in his life. I then asked what the meaning of my life is and he said that I have to find that on my own. Even if my family is dead I still have to find new meaning in my life. If you don’t have a purpose in life you just have to find it, even if this is hard.
We get only one chance in life and I will not throw that away. If my family is really dead, the one thing they would want for me is to live a happy and free life. Throwing the life away my parents gave me would be just insulting to them,” explained Jim with newfound determination.
As if inspired by his small monologue Lukas regained some life in his eyes, stood up, and said, “You are right! I still have my mum. First I will avenge my father and then I will start a new life with her. Nothing is lost as long as I have hope.”
Lukas smiled and looked at Jim again, “Thank you.”
For Jim, time stood still for a moment, as he saw Lukas smile for the first time. He saw him smile before but not like this. This was different. This was a real and pure smile. A smile from the bottom of his heart, because he was truly thankful.
Maybe I will just follow Solaire and help the people around me. This didn’t feel too bad and was definitely something worth living for.
Shaking his head, Jim also stood up, wiped the tears from the corner of his eyes and returned the smile to Lukas, and said, “We should head inside. We have to rest. Tomorrow is an important day. We have to kill another one of these stupid birds.”
With a chuckle, Lukas slung an arm around Jim’s shoulder and with his fist held high replied, “You are right. This bird doesn’t stand a chance.”