It was white. The sky, the floor, the horizon, everything. I’m not even sure there was a horizon. Everything was peaceful, almost deceptively so. What happened to everything? Why do I feel deja vu? Ugh, headache…
“Oh, you poor dear.”
A motherly voice intruded, and a gray form appeared in the mist.
“They did quite a number on you, didn’t they? I know we made a deal, but I suppose it’s my fault that you failed so soon… Hm, would you be willing to continue?”
I tried to respond, to ask this kind seeming woman who she was, but I could not. My words were caught, and my voice unable to manifest.
“Oh, who am I kidding, of course you’re willing. My boys got the most willful human soul in the last hundred years, after all. Probably the most willful in the last thousand years, now that I think about it.”
What did that even mean? Willful? Her boys? What did she mean they got me? And what deal? She seemed to notice my confusion, and answered a few of my questions.
“Sorry dear, you must not remember. I tried to set it up so you would slowly remember what you needed to, in order to avoid core shock, but I definitely failed in that. I also tried to remove the memory of core shock and the pain of cracking, but I also partially failed in that. I’m no memory god, and you’re incredibly powerful in the mind.”
She devolved into muttering after that, conjuring up various screens of blue and somehow invisible mana.
“Oh yes, it just entered my mind— I need to explain how mana works to you. It’s easy to distance yourself from mortals in that aspect, what with all the knowledge and power… Mana is split in four different forms, each representing an Old god.
“The mana of true creation, which is the natural mana created by dungeon cores, is called Eszett. Eszett is the god of balance, life, and death. Little is known of them by gods, and even less by mortals. The mana of the flow, which you can see due to your little birdie, is called Kiszett. She is currently the most worshiped god, and her mana is often favored by beastfolk of the sky and sea.
“The mana of the surge, Yuszett, is the mana of false creation. It’s used by mages, ritualists, brewers, and other conjurers. Now, the mana of the soul, Woszett. You can probably already sense this to an extent, since it is an inherent trait of dungeons. Woszett used to be the most worshiped god before the manaheart incident, which I doubt you want to know about. This mana makes up manahearts, and is most often used as sacrificial holy magic.”
That is… less information than I thought it was going to be. It might have been a lot, but it seemed easy enough to understand. I may forget the names though.
“You’ll forget the names? My boys gave you the note-sandbox, didn’t they? You can take notes.”
Are you shitting my dick right now? I could have been writing this crap down? Motherfucker. I’m pissed. Also, you could hear me this whole time?
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“Oh, not necessarily hear you. I can just simply… read between the lines, if you understand what I mean.”
She shifted in her skin, and enormous gusts of mana danced in the air all around us. A few of them coalesced into screens that the god before me would wave away, flicking around small motes of concentrated mana, until a new color appeared. Yellow. This time, the screen launched towards me in a manner reminiscent of an arrow to a deer, and I panicked for a split second.
I gathered the flow into a solid shield of pure mana, ducking behind it as the screen made a glancing blow on it. The god looked surprised. Then apologetic.
“Goodness, I forgot that you were just shattered! I’m sorry I moved that so quickly, I must’ve startled you. I’m just doing something that my boys should have done from the start.”
The very same screen gently changed course, floating in my direction and displaying words in a foreign, yet ethereal script. It was very pretty, and I’m pretty sure there were some symbols on it that couldn’t physically exist in real life. It reached out a thin string of hazy yellow mana, and I felt the odd compulsion to hold out my hand. I refused. The string reached closer, and I reluctantly let it touch my hand.
Suddenly, the blue and whiteness exploded into a kaleidoscope of yellows, greens, teals, and blues. I could see things too, outlines of buildings and trees and grand streets bustling with life and chatter. Children ran, ghostly laughter filling the air, and the elderly smiled warmly at them. It was homely. I felt like I should be there.
“Woszett. The mana of souls and the afterlife, and my domain. The panel I sent to you was to give you the ability to see it properly, though you would have learned how to see it by yourself eventually.”
I stared at her blankly. Her previously gray body was now a rich sand color, glimmering like fresh snow in the sunlight. She was Woszett? I knew she was a god, but damn. And let’s go back to the beginning of this interaction as well. I made some sort of deal, one that I don’t remember, with the god of basically a quarter of everything.
“Not really a quarter, dear. Us gods don’t have nearly as an unyielding view of ‘ownership’ that mortals do, our domains all overlap in an infinite manner of ways. The most severe overlap for me is with Kiszett, which is why I can control the flow as well as I can. I would estimate my domain to reach almost all the way out to the Otherworld, which would make it more like just under half of ‘everything’.”
Well. Even better. A deal I don’t remember, a god more powerful than I can fathom, and a mystery world that is either hell, heaven, or some unholy mixture of the two. Woszett giggled and offered her hand out to me.
“Let’s get you back to the material realm, hm? Write down what you want, but try not to think too hard this early— it induces core shock, which you know isn’t that fun.”
She tilted her head for a moment and got a far-away look in her eyes before speaking again, “Eszett is going to give you a few extra eszett- uh, the mana- for the trouble, and a message when you return. You don’t have to follow the message or even read it, though. To make up for my part in your shattering, I’ll help fix up your golem. It’d be practically impossible for you to do it yourself, what with the nullstone on the weapons… Ah, sorry, I’m rambling. Let’s get you back!”
Woszett’s final word was imbued with power, and it felt like my soul was doing the exact opposite of being rend in two. I could see the entire cosmos, and I felt like I could reach out and grab it tightly. Or gently coax it into my hands. So many infinite possibilities, dancing and twirling in the energized black abyss. Clouds of gas condensing into a star, infinite planets orbiting infinite suns, all in eternal balance with every soul that existed.
I could see universes zooming past, black holes collapsing and imploding into supernovae. It was gorgeous. It was… life in its very essence. It was familiar and peaceful, despite the roiling chaos beneath every skin. I saw, and it saw back. It whispers my name. My name…
Who am I?