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The Shadow of the Sun
Chapter 5 - Lost Memory

Chapter 5 - Lost Memory

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The spirits residing within the far reaches of the first world are considered by many to be near-perfect fusions of the energies of creation and the energies of nature. They reflect the world around themselves in much the same way that the races of Kin do, however, spirits are much more nebulous. They are more primal things, less intelligent and more instinctual.

Many mages and scholars wiser than this author have asked the question if there are spirits of magic, in the same way there are spirits of the more material elements. The abilities of the Parotic Shamans suggest that yes, spirits of magic do in fact exist, but no other evidence has been found. If those spirits do truly live within the first world, then they are flighty things, and secretive with their presences. As this is not meant to be an analytical work on purely theoretical beings, however, I will refrain from any personal thoughts and predictions here.

The spirits of fire, earth, water and wind are the only beings in Ithir to contain creation energy within themselves. Some consider them blights upon the land, wild things that lurk deep in the wilds, ignoring any attempts of man or kin to communicate. With power over the materials of the world itself, they could be seen as its true masters. They might even see us more populous races as usurpers to their homelands; after all, they have lived in this world much longer than we, or even the most ancient of the Kin.

But to all the collected understanding of our world, the spirits are mainly harmless creatures- their small and unassuming appearances reflecting such facts. Some spirits are even friendly, bestowing gifts upon various people while protecting whatever sanctuaries of nature they reside within, and in such times, they can even be mistaken for fairies. Such a mistake, however, would rile the anger of both those races.

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His face was clean-shaven, with a wide, friendly mouth set above a strong jaw. Along with thick, dark eyebrows high on his forehead above cheerful eyes, it made for a disarming picture in all, though the rest of his body belied that image.

Weapons of all kinds covered his body, along with many draw-string pouches, each one containing a different kind of colored powder. A longsword was clipped to his hip along with a bandolier of throwing knives. He walked with a long staff supporting himself, although he clearly would have no trouble without it.

A set of armor sat beneath it all, polished steel plating strung over lighter, hardened leather padding.

Boots padded softly against the mossy ground, though his eyes were fastened on his surroundings. The twilight forest climbed all around him, gray trees and falling leaves descending slowly from the towering boroughs. Small dots of light flitted through those trees in almost frantic movements, each one seeming like a miniature star all on its own, but with the dozens of them present, the forest was filled with what almost seemed like the entirety of a bright night sky.

It was beautiful; the kind of image that one would see in a magnificent painting, but it was the kind of beauty only clearly present in the dying. Each thick trunk had once been strong and brown, but now their barks frayed, their branches thinning. Every falling leaf a gray, dull color, the others still in place clearly beginning to lose vibrancy.

He spoke up, looking towards the various points of starlight frantically flying throughout the area.

“...You know, I’m surprised all of you were able to maintain this place for so long. You’ve lasted, what, almost seventy years? It’s… impressive, all things considered.”

He was ignored, each dot of light barely slowing for his words, although it seemed to the young man that each of those lights had sped up slightly in response.

The man’s eyes dropped in a small bout of weariness, although he soon attempted to restore the previous levity in his expression.

“What are all of you going to do now? ...I don’t think there are many places left in all of Bayar you could hide, at least, nowhere east of the mountains.”

The cloud-swamped sky, barely visible through the overhanging trees and the shadows they cast, swirled tremulously. There was no blue visible through such a sky, and the sunlight could only meagerly descend to the surface world, struggling to complete its journey.

“I’ll have to leave soon, you know. I’d give this place another year, at best, before it ends up like the rest of the other sanctuaries. When the monsters start coming in, I want to be long gone.”

A hint of annoyance made its way into his posture, highlighting just how young the man truly was, as he was met with silence yet again, the points of light continuing to fly through the trees around him.

“...Fine, then! -I heard from the last human who passed through that some survivors are setting up a camp in one of the old Stonekin fortresses, so that’s where I’ll be going… if any of you wanted to find me.”

Disappointment swam across his expressive face as there was no response, and the young man soon turned to walk back the way he came, down the winding forest path.

Behind him, the dots of light moved frantically, flying down to rest on certain branches or trees before moving again. Although each one seemed completely absorbed within its individual task, they all held an air of something not present before the man had spoken.

There was a new amusement in their movements, just barely there.

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As the wind stopped moving, the rain slowing from a violent deluge to simple rainfall, the boy continued standing alone.

While his hair was plastered across his scalp, his posture hunched, and his body wrapped in what little cover he could give himself with his cloak, there was no expression on his face. A blank look filled his normally expressive eyes as he stared into the darkness.

The torches were blazing, even through the rain, and the ring of fire surrounded a small area of ground. Each flame was as bright as day, their light expanding out a small way towards the forest before running out.

Besides those crackling fires, there was no sound. The constant pumelling of the rain against the ground masked everything else. Many puddles, overflowing from the mud, filled the area and surrounded the bases of the torches. Each of the two packs, still laying on the ground within the fires, were damp, but placed on high ground to avoid the puddles.

However, even though the sound of rain and fire seemed to engulf everything else within his mind, the boy could distantly make out the blood rushing in his ears- the heavy beating of his heart within his chest, and the small breaths forced out of his mouth.

Distantly, he had heard the screams of both man and monster. After a terrifying flash of light that seemed to swallow all of his vision, however, there was nothing. Past the rain, and deep in the unknown shadows of the night, everything was still. Everything seemed dead.

Uncertainty quietly climbed up the boy’s throat, into his mind and asking the desperate kind of questions that couldn’t be answered.

What had happened? Why wasn’t the man coming back? Did the spirits kill him?

But the boy did not make a single movement, sitting like a statue within the ring of fire, even as he started into the darkness surrounding his small domain.

The fear filling his body and soul did not let him move those frozen muscles, and beyond even that was the last order of the man.

No matter what he heard, and no matter what he felt, once the torches were lit the boy was not to leave their protection. It was a sensible order- one that would make sense to the most idiotic of children.

So the boy obeyed.

The rain pelted him mercilessly, and though that horrible wind was now gone he still could feel the chill of its effects within his bones. The memory alone was enough to raise goosebumps across his skin.

Although he could not escape from the depths of emotion surging through his body, flame burned inside of him- a confidence born from the innocence of a child and the trust he felt.

Nothing else mattered, not his fear or his uncertainty, or the fact that the man had a horribly low chance of survival. The boy knew that no matter what, he would be safe. The torches, handcrafted by the pillar of responsibility that even now held up the boy’s reality, would keep the monsters away.

And soon enough, in just a few moments, perhaps, the man would definitely return. After all, he was strong. Powerful and brave, and skilled. With all the experience he had, and all of the knowledge at his disposal, nothing would go wrong.

But the boy was more intelligent than most, and anyone with a brain could tell the man was old- always weary and impossibly tired of the world. The boy wasn’t able to truly lie to himself for too long.

He simply resigned himself to the long night; as he sat there in the rain, surrounded by the flickering fires in the darkness, and the dead forest beyond.

He could do nothing but wait and hope that the man would come back.

Though if the man did not return…

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As the young man walked down the forest trail, leaving behind the field of small lights flying through the air, he was silent. The previous lively expression faded away from his face, replaced by a sullen kind of concern.

The shadowed forest, filled with small rays of light filtering from the sky above, surrounded him with its deep moss and white flowers. Twisting vines and ivy climbed upwards along the trunks of the trees, lines of mushrooms sleeping in damp alcoves underneath his feet.

But even those small pieces of quiet beauty were beginning to turn gray.

Handfuls of small animals, squirrels, birds, chipmunks and butterflies flitted around, but even their colorings and dispositions were dull, with weariness filling their movements. Each of those creatures was nearly silent, each one fleeing from the loud jangles of his armor and weaponry.

There was nothing to impede his footsteps, and he walked quickly down the spiraling forest trail, narrow bits of light dotting the way, the only things letting him see where to step next.

It was beautiful- something that couldn’t have been said for most of the world. Compared to other places where the young man had stayed, this was paradise, more or less. A haven filled with every bit of peace that had already disappeared from Bayar and lands beyond.

The knowledge that he was walking away from this beautiful place for good was almost enough to bring the young man to tears. His already sullen expression turned dour, and his eyes narrowed as he kicked a small rock out of the way of his path.

He didn’t need to live there anymore, anyways. It was clear he was getting rusty- being able to rest for a while was nice, sure, but it had been a mistake to not at least practice his skills. After months of doing nothing, he would be in trouble when he had to fight for his life yet again.

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The food might have been nice, and it was true everything was beautiful, the smells and sounds were pleasant, and seeing things like flowers for the first time had been an experience he would never forget. Feeling the presence of the fairies around him at all times was almost reassuring, knowing they would keep watch and protect him if anything happened…

The young man let out a long sigh and rubbed his face wearily, attempting to knead out any emotion that might have found a place there.

A singular piece of light soon flew down from the trees above, emerging from the sleepy shadows that surrounded the man. It was glowing silver, small trails of light left in its wake as it almost swam down to meet him, landing softly on his shoulder.

A secondary presence flitted across the surface of his mind, and as the man looked towards the small glimmering light, up from his damp cheeks, he smiled with forlorn emotion.

“Hey, Qulthy. You here to see me off?”

Foreign feelings suddenly washed over him; a calm, friendly greeting, with an undertone of what almost felt like excitement, or happiness. Knowledge traveled from the outside source directly into his mind, and his eyes widened.

“-You want to come with me?”

A sense of affirmation filled him.

“But… you guys, don’t you need to keep healing the forest? What’ll happen without you?”

Reassurance.

“I guess…”

The young man suddenly smiled, a bright expression that came from his deepest feelings. It was the kind of teary joy that was only able to come from previous sadness, the man grasping happiness like a raft in a sea of sorrow.

“Thank you, Qulthy! You and me’ll see some great things together, I’m sure!”

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Hours passed quickly, through the haze of the boy’s desperation.

And as the torches continued to burn, the rain eventually fell away to a quiet night. With the wind as still as the dead, silence blanketed the forest.

His teeth chattered.

A deep cold had entered that still air, more frigid than anything the previous handful of days had experienced, and the wet clothing of the boy did nothing to protect him from the drop in temperature.

The man had still not returned.

While the darkness of the deep night eventually began to fall away, replaced with the dim haze of the morning, the gray sky swirling above head, the torches slowly flickered away. Each flame individually sputtering out, even as the boy stood vigil, shivering in the early chill, his skin turning red.

But when the final torch sputtered out, its light fading slowly, the boy’s eyes moved like lightning, fastening onto that wooden post, still warm from the fire.

It was as if he had been woken from a deep coma, and he stood, whirling around and staring at his surroundings in surprise and dull shock. Although his eyes had stayed open throughout the night, his mind had been emptied to the point of slumber.

There was still nobody there.

A fear, deeper than anything felt even that previous, horrible night, gripped his bones in a chokehold that made the boy gasp out loud.

It was morning, and the torches had gone out, and the man was still missing.

The boy ran.

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Streams and rivers of vibrant color winded through the air around the man and the dot of light, hovering just above his shoulder, as they faced the terrible sight before them.

The surrounding cliffside was barren beneath the colorless sky, a swirling cloud cover blotting out any real light. Rocks strewn the ground, large boulders of various sizes laying across the area, and not a single bit of moss or mountain grass visible.

The rising peaks around them pierced the sky on all sides, shooting up into the clouds above and disappearing from sight only a couple hundred feet above the pair. The valley they stood within seemed almost like a shattered depression; a crater formed more by unnatural causes than any true formation of land.

But the man’s eyes did not stray to admire the striking mountains, and the glowing light did not flit around playfully. Both had their attention fully taken up by the smoking pile of bodies before them.

“Burn me to the pit…”

The man cursed beneath his breath, his eyes darkened with terrible emotion.

“Is this what became of all the people said to be at the camp?”

Through the connection shared between minds, he felt a similar mix of dread, fear and horror emitted from his companion, though on a magnitude much greater than his own. It was enough to nearly make him fall to his knees- so great that he suspected the fairy might be going into something resembling shock.

“...Qulthy, we need to move. Whatever could do this to so many people isn’t something we can deal with…”

His voice trailed off.

Multiple lines marked his face, long tear troughs and thin scars, obtained across multiple journeys. A handful of streaks of gray could be seen through his dark hair, and though his body had filled out, his shoulders were hunched- beaten down.

The eyes of the man, though still wide and expressive like deep pools of water, had murky shadows held within their depths. Deep purple bags hung beneath them from lack of sleep.

Alien regret filled him, emanated from his companion. So harshly shared that he could almost feel it from his own mind, although he did not know the cause, at least for a few moments. After realizing exactly why the fairy felt such a way, he gasped, turning to his companion.

“Wait, no! Come on, we need to go quickly! Don’t even think about that sort of thing, understand? We’re together now. You can’t just leave like that. Seriously, Qulthy. You can’t go back now. You can’t leave me.”

Hesitantly, an apology was sent across their bond, though even with their connection, the man could not tell if it was sincere.

“...It’s alright. Come on, we need to go. I’m sorry you had to see... this.”

They left the bodies quickly, beginning to climb up the steep sides of the mountains, not stopping for anything.

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Forcing himself through the blackened trees, their claws reaching outwards to grab and scratch at his skin, his clothes tearing against the brambles. The boy did not stop running, eyes firmly peering forwards through the forest, still shadowed in the early morning light.

He ran in the direction he had last seen the old man, the direction in which the lights and screams had been coming from the previous night. -If the man was anywhere, it would be there. That much was obvious, but the boy had no idea what else might be waiting for him.

He rushed past the broken trees, snapped bark and cracked branches like so many broken bones. The sky was dark above his head, the ever-present gray cover of the clouds swirling endlessly.

But he kept his mind blank; the exertion of the moment clearing his thoughts away from anything that could have potentially distracted him.

Eventually, he burst through the underbrush into a wide clearing, any tree within being burnt to nothing but crisps and cinders.

Ash blanketed the ground, any half-immolated trunks still laying on their sides nothing but shallow remnants of what had used to be in their places.

An enormous figure laid in the center of the clearing, all the blackened ash and destruction seeming to emanate directly from that place. The carcass, which was truly nothing but a pile of withered muscle and charred bones, still clearly showcased the size of whatever monster had once lived.

Beside that giant body sat the old man.

At that moment, the boy could not feel relief, or even a measure of the reassurance he had been desperately searching for mere moments before. After all, the man he saw was nothing like the one who had set off into the night so bravely.

The man he had looked up so dearly was now nothing more than a pile of ragged clothing, pinned onto thin skin and bones. His gray cloak trailed behind him in the mud, covered in ash and blood, most of his armor smeared in the dirt and soot, cracked or completely fallen off of his body, laying on the ground around him.

His eyes were blank as they stared at the empty cage, held between shaking hands.

As the boy slowly stepped forwards, mouth open with unspoken words, the old man looked up, the two making eye contact for a short moment.

In that single moment, the boy felt a different kind of fear.

“...She’s gone.”

“...”

“...”

“Fairies are special, you know? Kid?”

“...Yeah?”

“-They live by radiating energy… your book probably calls it... white flame. It makes up their bodies.”

“...”

“By burning that energy, they can do incredible, magical things.”

“...”

“But, you know… if they use too much, they die.”

The man stopped talking, simply staring at the small, broken cage held between his hands.

“...”

“...”

“She hated me.”

“...Why?"

“I betrayed her. I convinced her to leave her home, and then… when she wanted to leave me…”

The boy shifted uncomfortably, the weakness, the uncertainty in the man’s voice catching in the boy’s ears jarringly.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the horrible sight before him, an unsettled emotion in his young gaze.

“...”

“...”

“Hey, Alvo?”

“...”

“Alvo?”

“...What?"

“What was the forest like- the forest where you first found her, and the rest of those fairies?”

The clearing seemed to halt, both of the traveler’s breaths pausing for a brief moment.

“...Rush.”

“Yeah?”

“...”

“...”

“I never told you about that forest.”

The man’s previously empty gaze filled with emotion as he whirled to face the boy, his mouth gaping open in what almost seemed like accusation.

“How do you know about that forest at all?! Rush!”

There was an anger in his gaze, but not nearly enough to overturn the pure shock in his expression, twisted viciously in a convulsion of shock and fear.

Unbidden, the boy took a step away from the man, the same surprise filling his expression, as if the words he had spoken shocked him as well.

“I don’t know! I just… it was just… a dream or something.”

Silence filled the clearing as both breathed heavily, staring at each other as the boy awkwardly finished speaking, his mouth turned in an uncomfortable twist.

But such a vague response was not nearly what the man wanted to hear.

“No!”

The man’s shout echoed through the surrounding forest, his eyes burning as he stared at the child in front of him.

“That’s impossible. How did you know that?! Was that also in that book of yours?!”

The boy’s face twisted at the man’s tongue, until a shadow passed over his young features.

“Of course not! I told you! I just… there was a feeling, when I was back there, all alone when you left me!” The boy’s voice choked up, riled from the energy of the man and the accusations thrown at him. “I was… I was scared! I saw something, I saw you, younger, in the middle of the night when the winds had died down and you were still gone!”

He yelled so loud his voice broke, the terrible emotions inside his chest unable to be stifled or held back now that he had already begun.

“I don’t know what it was, alright?! But… It wasn’t the book! You don’t get to say that I did something like that!”

His voice died suddenly.

The clearing was silent as the two travelers looked at each other, searching for something held within the other.

“...I’m sorry.”

“...”

The boy looked down at the man again, shaking his head in no small amount of hesitance.

“Alvo? Can we just… go?”

“...”

“I want to leave this place.”

“...”

“...”

“...Alright, kid.”

The man sighed and stood up, getting to his feet from the spot he had been kneeling in the ash-coated mud. He didn’t let himself look at the boy in front of him; his expression hidden from view as his eyes remained stuck to the ground beneath his feet.

“Let’s get out of here.”

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