Hello everyone!!!!
This is my first fiction so I hope you will give me your honest opinion on whether the chapter is written good or not.
Without further Ado here is the Chapter. "CLAP" CLAP"
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[??? - POV]
When I became conscious the first scene I saw was a place filled with endless darkness with numerous balls of light scattered around. At first I became nervous and didn't know what to do. It was a long time or maybe a short time later because I couldn't keep time here because the lack of day and night, or because of the fact that this place gave a soothing sensation, I calmed down and started to observe my surroundings. My first impression of this place could be described with as "Beautiful but bland".
This place was like a beautiful starry sky filled with numerous stars some big and some small. This place had a charm of its own. I was even about to lose myself in this place. This place had an attraction of its own which attracted the viewer in it causing them to forget even themselves. After viewing this scenery for a long time I began to check my surroundings. What I found was:
A place was filled with darkness. Pitch black Darkness filled with many balls/spheres of lights. There were many glowing white colored spheres covered with Golden or Red hollows. These spheres blinked in and out of existence. Some of these spheres were as small as a grain of sand but some were as big as a basketball but those were rare. Some spheres had a very short and thin layer of the hollow whereas some had a very long and thick layer.
I can sort of make an educated guess (educated from some novels that is) that these spheres were the souls of the dead because I know for a fact that I am as dead as a person can be. If these sphere are souls of the dead like I assume then those Golden and Red hollows should represent the karmic virtue or sin going by Golden = Virtue and Red = Sin of the souls like told in those web novels which I like to read.
It has been quite some time since I have been here and I tried doing various things to get a gist of my situation and this is what I found:-
1. I am a soul without any sort of body. Just a big ball of light.
2. I cannot see whether I have a Golden or Red hollow but I can see others souls hollow.
3. I cannot get close to other souls and they cannot come close to me or any other souls. We are fixed in a single area.
4. After some time the spheres and their hollows will start getting smaller and eventually they will fade out of existence and new sphere will come into existence in their place creating a never ending cycle.
5. Some souls shrink at a faster rate and some shrink at a much slower rate than some other souls without any distinction on whether they have a golden or Red hollow.
6. I think I don't follow the usual method like other souls because I cannot feel myself getting smaller. If I was getting smaller but at a much slower rate than other even than I would at least had felt something because it's been quite some time since I have been here. Well at least I am not the only one here who doesn't shrink because since the time I have been here I have seen two spheres double the size of a basketball with a long golden hollows which have not shrunk since the first time I have seen them.
It has been too long since I came here and there is nothing new happening here. I am becoming very bored. I hope something new happen so I could alleviate my boredom. After I couldn't find anything new to alleviate my boredom I started to try something I once read in a novel. I started to focus on my own soul to feel my soul force like those martial artist do in those Xianxia novels.
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I don't know how long it’s been since I started doing this but I couldn't feel anything in or around myself. After doing this for a long time with no results I started to get bored and wanted to stop. The instant I was about to stop doing this exercise? I remembered that in those novel if someone wanted to feel their soul energy they will have to clear their mind of distracting thoughts.
After remembering about that I started practicing to rid myself of any useless thoughts. After a long time I was barely able to do it. After a significant amount of time has passed and I was able to get a little bit more proficient in doing this sort of meditation. When I was able to rid myself of useless thoughts I was able to feel a very faint presence inside my soul. It was very weak that if I lose my concentration I would lose it. To get a better understanding of this presence I started to put all my focus on sensing this presence.
After some time I was able clearly see (feel?) it. It was a white colored sword well Japanese katana to be precise with nine star shaped marks on its body with golden flame flickering on its edges surface. After seeing this katana I had hunch that this sword was a manifestation of a soul's desire or their destiny in martial path because in my previous life there were many people who were good with only a single type of weapon while they were bad with other weapons like spear, sabre or staffs. Well I was very good with a sword in my previous life so it explains why my soul is in the shape of a sword and I am happy because in my previous life I loved practicing with my sword.
When I tried to put more focus on the sword I was able to sense atypical energy in the sword. It was a type of energy that was ethereal and formless but this energy was quite sharp. Like a sword's edge which will cut down any and all obstruction from its path. While those star patterns were giving a sensation that there was endless energy contained in the sword. Those golden colored flame were giving the sensation that it could burn down anything that stand in its path.
I wanted to try and control the energy around the sword but it proved to be much more difficult than sensing this energy. It took me long time to control a portion of this energy albeit a very small one.
After successfully controlling a little bit of this energy. I wanted to at least control a quarter of this energy so I started practicing my control over this energy.
While I was practicing on controlling this energy I remember that in those novel when the protagonist dies a god or a devil would come to them and tell them that they can choose to be reincarnated in a new world but so far there is no god, devil or any other being is coming near me.
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It’s been quite some time since I regained my consciousness in here but there is no sign of any other being here except the souls of the dead. After I started practicing controlling my soul force it took me a long time to reach my intended goal of controlling the quarter of my soul force.
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After controlling my 1/4th of my soul force I tried to send the soul force outside of the designated are of my soul. After reaching something like an invisible wall, my soul force stopped stretching, which I assume is the boundary of my area there was an invisible film which stopped my soul force from stretching out of the area. I tried to add more soul force to break the film but it proved futile. After not coming up with any idea to break through this film I became frustrated.
I tried going into meditation but it proved difficult than before because of my frustration of not breaking through the film. After many tries I was able to ho into meditation. I began to search my memory for any useful information which would help me break through this film. Another mysterious part about this place was that I could vividly remember everything about my life from birth till the last second I died death.
After searching from my memory I finally found something which may be helpful in breaking this barrier. I started to practice weaving my soul force into threads. Weaving the soul force into threads didn’t proved too difficult but after I tried to use this thread to make a drill it became exponentially harder. After I successfully completed my drill I moved towards the barrier and smashed the drill on the film but the film did not budge like I thought. I started rotating the drill on the wall of the barrier.
After rotating the drill for quite a long time the barrier finally began to crack. It started from a very thin, needle like crack but after I used more force it spread to the whole barrier and the drill broke through.
Even after breaking the barrier my soul could not move so I had to use my soul force to probe the other two big soul. I extended a thread of my soul force towards the soul on a side which I assume is my left. After my soul force neared the other soul it passed through the other soul barrier without any effort. I guessed that the barrier was only meant to trap the soul in a place without letting it out but it lets anything thing enter the barrier itself.
I moved my soul force to touch the other soul. When my soul force came into contact with the other soul. My soul formed a faint connection to this soul and I could hear the thought of the other soul and maybe the other soul could hear my thoughts too.
“Who are you? Do you know where we are? Do you know how we can get out of here?” I asked but because I was a bit too excited to talk to someone else I unconsciously blurted out many questions to that soul.
“Kyaa” the other soul screamed and “w-wh-who? W-where are you? How are you talking to me?” the soul asked with a trembling voice. The voice echoed in my mind, soul whatever was feminine so I guess it was the soul of a female. The soul’s voice was a little familiar. I was rather amused at the soul’s reaction but I chose not to laugh else I offend her in some way and told her about myself.
“Please clam down and listen to me.” I added before starting my introduction.
“Hello! My name is Yun Shintaro, Yun is my family name and my first name is Shintaro. A boy at the age 22, Student at the University of Science. I died in a terrorist bombing attack on the University campus. I am the floating ball of light next to you, which I think is my Soul. You should be able to feel a faint thread connecting your soul to mine. If you focus your mind or thoughts on yourself. That is my soul force which I used to connect our minds so we could talk to each other.” I answered all of her question in one go.
“S-Shintaro! Thank God it is you. I am glad that I could talk to you.” She appeared quite exited.
“Who are you?” I asked because her voice sound familiar but you voice sounds a little odd and I cannot remember who it belonged to.
I think this link connect us on spiritual level so I could hear her thoughts and maybe she could hear my thoughts too.
“Shintarooo! Do you not remember me I am your childhood friend? It’s me Jennifer. Jennifer Aylmer. I can’t believe you even forgot my voice. We have been together for our whole lives.” She replied in an angry but happy tone.
“Ah! Jenni! It’s not that I forgot your voice but your voice sounds a little odd so I could not immediately tell that it was you.” I told her. I was a happy that she was someone I know and with whom I could converse freely.
“Well I forgive you so could you tell me where we are. The last thing I remember that we were in that lecture hall attending Miss Rosa’s lecture and then a huge blasts happened and I lost consciousness.” She asked me about our situation.
“Jenni! Where we are here? Why we were brought here? Even I don’t know the answers to these questions.” I told her.
“So we don’t know where we are and who brought us here. Huh!” She answers.
She sure calmed down fast from her earlier surprise and her thoughts are not jumbled up but there is calm in her mind. Well it is not surprising that she could calm down this fast because of the experiences we three went through and it could be add to the force that forcibly calmed her too like me.
“Well I don’t know where we are but I have some speculations about this place.” I conveyed to her.
“So what are your guesses hurry up and tell me too” She urges me to quickly tell her.
“I will tell you but first we should connect our mind to the third big soul” I said to her.
“Third soul?” she sounds puzzled but quickly understood me “Ah so you are talking about the big sphere that is next to you.”
I started to form a small thread to connect my mind to other soul but before I could Jenni shouted “Wait!!!” in my mind and interrupted my concentration.
“What? Why are you shouting in my mind?” I asked. I was a little annoyed. It was not easy to control my soul force even if I have done it once.
“Tell me how come you voice echo in my mind and what these thoughts that popped in my mind about soul force and soul are?” she asked hurriedly because of excitement.
She was quite an energetic girl in our previous life too. She like to explore about new things. If I could see her face now it would had lit up in excitement.
“Wait for a while and I will tell you after I have connected to the second soul. I think that soul is of Mo Ling. So Please don’t disturb me because it is not easy to connect my soul to another.” I told her to wait. I used a stern voice at the last sentence.
“Okay! But hurry up” She sounds a little dejected because she had to wait but agrees nonetheless.
I started Weaving my soul force into a small thread and started to extend my soul force toward the other soul.
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Comment about your thoughts on the chapter will be much appreciated.