My name is Ryan. This is the magnificent adventure full of happy and lovely-dovely moments that ends with the main charachter (not me) marrying the princess... Or not.

I was walking home from school along with some of my friends from the same neighbood I lived in, We lived in London near the coast, my father was a fisherman an my mother worked in a factory. Mind you not, i was not poor, just not rich.

Now, if you're walking home and you see a wierd blue light inside a very old and abandoned house that people say is cursed even though we're in the 21 century, what would you do? Of course you would NOT go there. That's just goddamn logic. But of course my friends decided that "Oh boy, a wierd light! Let's go and shove ourselves into something unexpected and drag along poor old Ryan". I didn't exxagerate... too much... fuck that. Anyway, they decided that of course we should go and see what it was.

I should probably tell you about these 'friends', We were a little group of 5, First and foremost the all-popular Georgie, He was an athletic and relatively cool guy. He was suprisingly nice with everyone and had a pretty straightforward personality (Yes, he is the real hero so shut up) . Next up is the second boy on the list, Oscar. He's thin and tall, has an exeptional talent in mathematics and science. He's silent and relatively anti-social, but i'd rather not end up in his to-fuck-up list, as he's a damn black belt karate master and I wouldn't be suprised if he were to throw you into the wall if you mention he sucks at cooking. Then there are the two twin girls, Lily and Sadie. Both are the pretty-go-lucky kinda girls and they're particularly attracted to Georgie. Both with black hair, Lily's got the blue eyes and Sadie's got the green eyes, Nothing exceptional.

So... where was I in my fucked up story? Ah, yes... We entered the wierd-and-creepy house from the creaking front door that seemed about to fall off at any moment, once we were inside, we noticed that the blue light was missing. We (they cause i ain't doing shit for this bullshit) searched the inside for a bit longer, and when we were about to give up and finally go home, the blue light suddently appeared. 

We were completely blinded and we couldn't hear anything except Oscar's screams, as that guy hates flashing lights. Suprisingly, I didn't hear the loli-duo screaming... Did they die? I shure hope so. 

When I could finally open my eyes due to the blue light receding back to the hell it came from, the sight was exactly like a certain cartoon show. Georgie and the loli-duo were hugging each other with the lolis inside Georgie's arms, Oscar was shivering whilst hugging his knees in despair, and i somehow ended up with my butt in the air, only for it to fall on  the ground right afterwards. 

It took me and everyone else a couple of seconds to realize what happend/where we were/ the embarassing harem trio/ gravity to work it's magic/ stop shivering.

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After a minute of calming down the red faced girls and a flustered Georgie, we looked around us.

We were inside a room that was completely medieval. There were chandeliers, stone walls and a huge red carpet. No furniture at all and there were glowing pillars (that bastardly blue!) on each corner of the room. There was a single giant door that was currently closed. 

After about 5 minutes of restlessness, the door finally opened. What came out it were just as I somewhat predicted considering the clicheness of the situation, a shiny gold-armored ossan along with a half dozen less-shiny-but-still-dangerous-looking guys. After they entered, the knight bowed in front of us and the unshiny knights kneeled behing him. I totally wanted to punch them, as they looked very much threatening, and considering they were in front of purely innocent and kidnapped teenagers, they totally could kill us all in a matter of seconds. 

[Shiny Knight] Welcome heroes of The Otherworld, this is Arcadia, I am the Royal knight Jacob. We would be thankful if you were to help us deal with a little problem...

Ok, i am now officially at the point of exploding and i almost couldn't hold back kicking this sucker's balls. Like, seriously! you Kidnapped/abducted us (I know it's you, if he says it was an evil magician or a demon i'm going to hang myself out of desperation) and now you want us to help you? Let me guess, you want us to go and kill an all-evil demon king that in half of the times does nothing except try to help his people and the bad guys are usually humans? the world will end before i agree to do so... Unless they make me eat spicy stuff...Spicyness. Is. The. Worst. Torture. Ever.

However, there is only a tad bit of a problem... Why the hell am i hearing a ringing inside my head? And why the hell are my friends all looking like they have no idea what is going? Come on use your brains goddamnit. It's obvious we're summoned in a stupid sword-and-magic world. Aaaand why am i feeling like something is punching me inside my own head?

[????] g- d-e -- h--l -r k-l- --ur--lf... -ha- --e --c-?! w--r- a- i??

... Wha...?

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The Devil's Downfall

-about the same time the heroes got summoned into Arcadia, in the deep reaches of hell-

[???] Ugh... I'm so bored. What should i do? Those fuckers of humans' gonna summon a couple of bastards from some forsaken  world... Not that it matters too much to me... A little bit... Fuck me I'm bored. I can't deal with all of these magicians trying to summon me...

Waitwaitwait i just had a little lamp go off inside my head!!!... or not... yeah no that's a shitty idea... why would i want to try to summon myself inside the same room as the heroes and disguise myself as one... yeah that's a bad idea... or not?... I mean i got nothing better to do then narrate my boring life to myself... Maybe i can try...?

And thus, the highest-ranking devil in existance did the stupidest mistake in his really old life.