Even Jin LiJuan’s small hands were able to completely encircle the wolf cub’s neck. It struggled pitifully, trying to breathe, as she crushed the life out of it.

She ignored the desperation on its face as the brightness in its eyes dimmed just as easily as she paid no attention to the disgusting, slimy substances coating its body that had transferred to her fingers. All that mattered was that it was a spirit beast, and after waiting for so long, she finally had the power to kill it.

Obviously, it wasn’t the one that killed her parents. It had just emerged from its mother’s womb moments ago. It hadn’t killed anyone.

But none of that mattered.

It was a spirit beast. That was enough.

Ending its life was the fulfillment of the wishes of so many sleepless nights. The heavens had given her the opportunity, and she was going to take it.

Its struggles grew even weaker. The light in its eyes dimmed more.

Jin LiJuan grinned.

Finally.

Everything was going great. Better than great. Fantastic. The beast was almost dead, slain by her very own hands. Until a niggle of a doubt wormed its way into her mind. There was a promise that she had made.

No. Not a promise. An oath.

She had sworn to Master that she would only kill beasts to protect, not because she was mad. Not because she hated.

As the literal weakest of the sect members, it was laughable to think that her actions killing this barely newborn beast were protecting anybody. If she could kill it, anyone could, even a mortal child.

At that moment, anyway.

If she let it free, it would grow. It would become stronger. It could threaten a mortal or the sect.

Her responsibility was to protect. She had to kill it. Yes. Duty called.

Jin LiJuan tightened her grip, sure that her reasoning was sound. Not even Zou Tian could refute her logic. Killing it was the correct decision.

The creature was almost dead, anyway. A few moments more, and there would be no choice left to be made.

She smiled as she watched its life slowly drain from its eyes.

Another thought niggled at her. If she was so sure that killing it was the right thing to do, a yell would bring Senior Brother or Huang Yimun. One of them could make the decision for her. One of them could do the killing.

No. She found the wolf cub. It was her responsibility. No one else’s. Hers alone.

In fact, she needed to speed up the process. Her understanding was that spirit beasts born to other spirit beasts started out life as a rank one. Senior Brother would be able to sense it when he drew close enough.

She wanted to be the one to end its life. She needed to be the one to end its life.

She hated the creature with all the passion her heart could contain.

Her fingers suddenly released, and the barely breathing cub fell to the ground.

Jin LiJuan had sworn to Master that she would not kill out of anger, out of hatred, and he’d made it clear that his healing her had been her second chance. She seriously doubted she’d get a third.

The beast had to die but not at her hands. She would call Senior Brother. One stomp from his foot would end it.

She would watch, grinning, as the life…

Jin LiJuan hung her head. Was calling Senior Brother to kill it any different than doing it herself? Master probably wouldn’t think so.

He would expect her to … try not to hate it?

But it was a spirit beast. If it had the chance, it would kill her and the entire village to make itself stronger. It deserved death.

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She stared at the creature. It struggled to draw breath and might die if she did nothing. After all, it had been cut out of its mother’s belly, a mother who had been dead for quite some time. Days.

It was weak, starving. And she’d done further damage to it. The surprising thing was that it still lived.

Maybe she could at least admire its perseverance. That was kind of like not hating it, right?

She had a half full skin tied to her waist, and she used it to pour water over the creature, washing away some of the gunk coating its fur and maybe, incidentally, giving it a bit to drink.

Her situation presented quite a riddle. She could neither kill it nor cause it to be killed without violating the spirit of her oath to Master. Nor could she leave it to die on its own. And if it were healthy enough to live, she couldn’t in good conscience let it grow strong enough to threaten the sect.

Which left what option for her exactly?

None that she could think of.

If she did nothing, any choice would definitely soon be removed from her. It was scarcely clinging to life and needed food to survive. Prolonging what time it had left would at least give her a chance to make a decision.

She wasn’t an expert on spirit beasts by any stretch of the imagination, but her understanding was that anything soaked in qi provided them with nourishment. Moving to a beast she’d already processed, a fox, she cut off a tiny chunk of meat. Really tiny. Just a sliver, as she couldn’t imagine that it would have an easy time consuming a large portion of a rank eight beast.

For all she knew, it wouldn’t be able to chew or eat the higher ranked beast at all.

The cub was barely conscious, but it perked up, its eyes opening, as the meat was shoved into its mouth. It barely chewed at all before swallowing the morsel.

Then, it whimpered, clearly asking for more.

Jin LiJuan frowned. Keeping it alive long enough to decide what to do with it was one thing. Feeding it snacks was something else.

It whimpered again.

“Fine,” she said. “One more sliver, but that’s it.”

She cut off another tiny piece of meat, but the beast wasn’t nearly unconscious when she went to place the morsel in its mouth like it had been the previous time. In its eagerness for the meat, it cut her finger drawing blood, which the cub lapped up with his tongue.

Jin LiJuan was furious. It had injured her. It had consumed her blood.

“Let’s see how you like it!” she yelled.

Before she could consciously think about what she was doing, her knife sliced the cub’s shoulder. It retreated from her, huddling against the body of its mother as if the corpse could provide it with protection.

Jin LiJuan waved the bloody knife in front of it. “See. Here’s your blood. See! Do you like it if I do this?” She licked the blade, and a coppery taste filled her mouth.

After forcing herself to swallow, she calmed down some. She honestly didn’t think the cub meant to hurt her. It was just eager to get the meat.

She had probably overreacted.

Her anger again. Maybe Master was right about not letting her emotions control her. He probably was.

Meanwhile, the cub was clawing at its mother’s body, and a small piece of meat fell to the ground. The beast grabbed at it.

“Eww,” she said. “That’s gross. You can’t eat your own kin. No!”

Instead of the cub moving the meat to its mouth, though, it held it out toward her. She took the sliver, mainly to keep the beast from changing its mind.

It stared at her with a pitiful and pleading expression.

“You can’t be serious,” she said.

It continued to stare with its wide eyes.

“You want me to eat this?”

She had no idea if it understood any of what she said, but she was almost positive that it did, in fact, want her to eat the piece of raw meat.

Jin LiJuan almost laughed. It was poetic, really. The thing that had got her into so much trouble, that had destroyed her chance to be a powerful cultivator and avenge her parents, was eating spirit beast meat without permission. Now, a cub was asking her to eat a piece of its mother.

Life was too weird.

She sighed. Now that she was a cultivator, no matter how weak, a tiny sliver of meat, even from a powerful rank eight beast, shouldn’t hurt her. Neither would it help her.

It was disgusting, though.

Why was she even considering it?

Because she had made an oath to Master to stop hating spirit beasts and the cub was seeking common ground with her. She had fed it. It had tasted her blood. She had tasted its blood. It wanted to feed her.

There was a kind of logic to its actions. They formed a cycle, and cycles were of prime importance to cultivators. Some instinct told her she should complete this cycle.

She stared at the gross piece of raw wolf meat in her hand. Since she’d become a cultivator, her body should be resistant to pests that caused food poisoning, and even if she caught something, a pill would cure it.

Jin LiJuan didn’t think that Master would mind her actions even if it required her taking a pill. After all, she was trying to fulfill her promise to him.

“Fine,” she said. “I can’t believe I’m doing this but fine.”

She popped the meat into her mouth and swallowed without chewing. It was all she could do to get it down her throat without throwing up.

As soon as she did, though, something happened. Her stomach started burning. She dropped to her knees as sweat poured down her face.

The cub likewise whimpered and whined, clearly in distress.

It was her core. Something was changing her core. And she wasn’t experienced enough to know if it was a good thing or a bad thing.

Footsteps approached.

“Jin LiJuan?” Senior Brother said. “Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

“Th-the beast.” She pointed.

He glanced at the cub. “It’s okay. I’ll kill it.”

As soon as he said those words, an intense dread settled over her. She suddenly grew very positive that him killing the beast would end her chances of ever cultivating again and might end her life.

“No!” she screamed. “Don’t, Senior Brother!”

“What? Why not?”

She paused, gathering her thoughts as the events of the past few minutes repeated in her mind. Her instincts told her what happened. The cycle was even more significant than she had thought. Whether it was to the good or ill, though, she couldn’t say.

“The cub and I are bonded,” she said calmly. “If you kill it, you might as well kill me, too.”