Andrew looked back at the house to project from the trajectory where the ball ricocheted, and once he spotted the area where it flew over the fence, he tried to trail-blaze his way through the thick overgrowth towards the trees where it may have landed.
At first it seemed insurmountable. He was not as capable as his dad… yet. The last word had just snuck into his mind. The word “yet” implied he had potential to grow and be better. He didn’t know where this newfound sense of positivity came from, but it was definitely preferable to the dark thoughts he had been harboring all day. It was as if something had been holding a blanket over his head, obstructing his vision and smothering his thoughts, keeping them dark and self flagellating. But now as it loosened its hold on him, he managed to take in huge gulps of air. Pure positive vibes combined with his usual determination.
Andrew smiled to himself awkwardly. Dad would be proud of this change in attitude, Andrew just knew it. He puffed out his chest. and got to it, moving aside branches and leaves to peer through. Looking into the scrub and forest beyond.
After a while, the cheer he felt at first, began to wane. The blanket made itself known again, smothering him. His thoughts turned to failure. To self-recrimination and most of all self-anger that he wasn’t as competent as dad. It took a nudge from a particularly impressive thorn into his thumb to bring his focus back to the task at hand.
With a desperation born of frustration, Andrew forced himself through the grasping branches to a small clearing beyond. A flash of white had snatched at his eye and he caught his breath with anticipation, and yet when he glanced through the gloom to where the flash of reflected light lay, he found only a massive mushroom. Its musty smell pervaded the area and made him suddenly aware of how deep into the forest he had come. He could barely see the backyard fence and the house beyond seemed tiny. It was the deepest he had ever gone into the forest and with that awareness came the thought that he was all alone out here.
The noises of the forest shrilled in his ears. The rustle of leaves, the sway of branches, the never-ending undercurrent of crickets and cicadas blasting their final symphonies before autumn calmed them down for winter's sleep.
A branch cracked in the distance. Muffled hooves pitter patted away from him and Andrew looked now, not for his ball, but for the way back. Because he had come to realize something. He was dreadfully alone and that he didn’t know enough about his surroundings to feel comfortable. He needed a weapon. Something to protect himself if things took a turn for the worse. “It paid to be prepared” was something dad always said, so he would head back and get the garden shears or even better an axe.
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Mind made up, he bolted back to the hole in the fence. The route, much easier now after forcing his way through the foliage. He still couldn’t get rid of the feeling of being observed. Although it was creepy, it also wasn’t malignant in nature. The watcher seemed curious, but directed no ill will towards him. Despite that feeling, Andrew didn’t want to be caught unawares and as he clambered through the tilting wooden panel to climb into his garden, he reaffirmed his notion to be better prepared before he ventured out into the unknown.
Standing up, he dusted himself off, then made his way to the shed at the bottom of the garden. Fortunately his pessimism had fled the moment he had a steadfast plan. This wasn’t so bad after all, and it also allowed him to think beyond his morbid thoughts of earlier. He rattled the door to the shed and found it locked. Admonishing himself for a fool, he turned and headed back to the porch. Stopping to take off his shoes. Mom would not appreciate dirty shoes in the house. He wondered if she was back from work. He hoped not, because she would prevent him from going out again into the forest.
He cracked open the door, and found mom sitting on the sofa. She looked worn and bedraggled. Sadness filled her face and when she saw him, she wiped away tears and put down the family photo she had been staring at. Andrew felt a lump forming in his own throat, but decided it was time to put those feelings aside. He had a mission, but didn’t know how to achieve it. He would have to postpone it for now though. Mom needed him.
“Andrew, where have you been? I’ve been calling you. Were you down by the shed? I’ve told you not to play in there, it’s full of sharp and dangerous tools and you can get hurt.” said mom, her sadness slipping away as she accused him of not being where she expected. Andrew wondered why parents always thought kids were exactly where they wanted them, and yet seldom applied the same rule to themselves. He buried his stubborn streak and smiled. It was good to see mom home early for a change.
“Hello Mom, Yes, but I didn’t go inside. I was just checking if everything was secure.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, more like a bending of the truth, because he had even tested that lock to see if he could get past it without the keys. Alas, his dad never did half jobs and the only way into the shed would be with the keys. His eyes shifted guilty to the key rack, then snapped back to moms outstretched arms. He moved into them, relishing the hug she gave him. Soft, comforting, warm and safe. The smell and feel of her, a better blanket than the one he had been wearing outside.
“She pushed him away then. Held him at arms length then felt his ears and cheeks. “Goodness! Your face is frozen. How long were you out there? Kicking the ball again? I hope so. You haven’t done that much since… “ her words cut off then and her eyes brimmed.
“I’m sorry my boy, I get carried away sometimes. I just really miss him." she said, while wiping her eyes before the tears spilled, she continued in a more controlled voice, "Come on, let's get something to eat. My next shift starts at midnight. I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon. You can manage to get yourself to the school bus in the morning can’t you? You are so grown up, I’m pretty sure there isn’t anything you can’t do.” She paused then and snatched at a leaf tangled in his hair.
“Look at that, the season is changing too, I will have to help you with clearing the garden this weekend. That darn forest is dumping all its leaves into our yard. Go on, you better wash up before you help me in the kitchen. Off you go.” She smiled then and Andrew felt the world was a better place for that smile. There was no trace of tears despite her red eyes. He rushed off to the washroom, determined to keep the mood light and pleasant, all thoughts of the missing soccer ball remained distant.