Helen was getting ready with the help of Saren, who was the only person Helen would see, only because she had lost her niece and they could comfort each other. When she was ready, they went down to the main hall to wait for Henkot and Delsani.
It was not long before they came, and they all walked to the front doors together. When they stepped outside there were what looked like giant teardrops with wings. The teardrops were on solid, stubby legs that looked as though they were made of glass. The wings were like wings of an insect and were folded back.
Helen had seen these things in Cayer-Huld the Wizard City. They were transport for people going long distances. She was trying to remember what John said they were.
“Are you okay, Helen?” asked Saren.
“I was trying to think of what John called those things,” said Helen pointing to the tears.
“They’re tear-flies,” said Saren.
Helen nodded. “That’s right.”
“Are you sure you’re all right, Helen?” asked Henkot, concerned.
“I’m fine,” replied the woman. “Now can we go?”
“Yes, Helen’s right. It’s time to go,” said Delsani.
Saren and Henkot had already agreed Saren would go with Helen, but to their surprise, Helen sat in the same tear-fly as Delsani. When everyone was ready, the openings they had went through closed up in front of them, and the wings of the tear-flies unfolded and started to flap rapidly. They took off from the ground and were on their way to the Wizard City.
Helen cast her mind back to when she first went in a tear-fly. It was also the first time that she had been to the city, and she did not like the idea of going for a flying lesson in a giant tear. John assured her that it was the safest way to travel and that when it took off, her fear would pass and she would feel and be safe. She remembered that John was right for, as soon as the opening closed, she felt the safest she had ever felt in her life, just as she did in the tear-fly she was in at that moment.
Helen knew that Delsani blamed himself for what had happened at Kealhal and especially for what happened to John, for he was one that told and assured John that they could not fail, and John trusted him with his life.
“I don’t blame you,” said Helen lightly. “I blame him.”
“Him?” repeated Delsani.
“Ulicoth,” said Helen. “He was the one that set us all up. He’s the one that killed John,” she sobbed.
“I’m so sorry, Helen. The truth is that we were too willing to jump in and bring John back. We didn’t check everything as we should have. We were so arrogant we didn’t even see the simple things that would have shown us the truth. Therefore, I blame myself, because I, at least, should have kept a clear head,” said Delsani truthfully.
“He has to pay for what he did,” Helen continued as though Delsani had said nothing.
“There is only one person who can bring him to justice,” said Delsani.
Helen put her hand gently on her tummy and nodded. “I know, but I don’t want him to get hurt. He’s all I have left of John,” the woman said. “Is that selfish?”
“Don’t be silly. It‘s good that you care for him so much to think of his well-being even before his birth. It’s only natural,” said Delsani.
They had now reached the city’s tall grey wooden Gates. To Helen, the gates looked different than before, for when she was last there. The gates were bright and welcoming, but now they looked cold and consumed with death itself.
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The service was long, and Helen did not stay any longer than she had to, and that was fine with Jaucal and Delsani. For they thought it was best that Helen should not stay out in the open, for they feared that there could be another attempt on her life.
Bacnil feared this also, and it was he that told Helen that no one would be offended if she left. Saren and Henkot had decided to stay behind and said that they would see their Queen as soon as they got back. And at that, Helen and Delsani went back to the Towers of Telian.
After the service most of the Men, and Elves went back to their own cities. And for the remaining few, a party was held, for as the grieving service ended, it was customary to throw a grieving party to celebrate the lives of their fallen friends and kin. However, most of the men wanted to grieve in their own way, and off they went, though King Bacnil and a few of his friends stayed, including his cousin Hadnim, against all advice, for he was still badly wounded at that time. The only reason he stayed was so that he could properly thank the Wizard who saved him from Kilamen’s attack.
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Back at the towers, Helen and Delsani were in the main hall. Some of John’s belongings were now there. Helen was staring straight at the display case deep in memories of their time in that place together. “I want him to grow up here,” she said.
Delsani was not surprised by those words. “I’ve already talked the Grand Wizard and he agrees with me that it would be best for the both of you to return to the Normal World and raise him there. It’s completely your choice.”
“I don’t know,” said Helen.
“He’s your son, so it is really up to you though, I would urge you to consider what I have just said. Remember that Ulicoth knows that your son exists. He won’t stop until he kills you and the child.”
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.
Helen stood mesmerized, staring at the display case again.
Then she looked up and said, “If he grows up in the Normal World, will you train him there?”
“No, I think it would be best not to tell him about this world or who he really is.”
Helen looked confused by the Wizard’s words. “Why? I mean, if he won’t know who he really is. Then how will we prepare him to fight?”
“When he turns sixteen, I’ll explain everything to him as I did to you and John, and the four year gap should be enough for him to learn enough magic at the college. But you mustn’t tell him the truth no matter what happens, you understand?”
“Not really, but I won’t tell him. When should I go?”
“Don’t worry. We’re not going to throw you out. You are still our Queen. You can leave as soon as you feel ready. But I would feel better knowing that you were safely hidden away.”
Helen merely nodded.
“I know his name -”
“No,” Helen interrupted, “I don’t want to know. I want to feel like there’s at least one thing that I can do.”
“That’s fine,” said Delsani.
Then Helen remembered the letter John gave her before he left. “Delsani, John gave me a letter to open only if he didn’t survive. I’ve only just remembered. I put it in the chest at the end of the bed in my room.”
Helen stared at the Wizard with an uncertain look on her face. She opened her mouth to say something but before the words could pass her lips Delsani said, “‘I know that it’s hard to think that the last thing that you will see of John will be only words on a page. But he wouldn’t have given it to you if he thought that you couldn’t be strong enough to read it.”
“I’ve already read the letter, it was just after you p –” Helen broke off, looking tearful and feeling stupid. “I’m sorry I’m not usually like this,” she said sorrowful.
“You’ve nothing to be sorry for, Helen. You’ve lost your husband. And you must face the fact that you will have to raise your child without him,” said Delsani.
Helen said nothing at first. Then, “The letter just told me that he loved me and that he would always be with me. There were other things too, things that the Grand Wizard should see. It’s just information on where curtain things are. Nothing really important”
“I see. I’ll let Jaucal know. Would you like to go to the main dining room to have something to eat?” asked Delsani, changing the subject. He felt that what John had written was probably for her alone, and if there was anything that she needed to tell him, she would do it in her own time.
“No, I don’t think I could sit in there. I hate it when people stare at me. It makes me feel like a freak. But I could go for something to eat in my room.”
“Of course,” said Delsani, glad that she was willing to eat, though little did he know she had done nothing but eat since Saren first visited her. Though he would soon find that out when they got to the room. Helen sat down on the one of the armchairs next to the window and sank down as far as it would allow.
Delsani took the notebook that was sitting on the bedside table and sat on the bed, and when he moved his feet under the bed, he heard the clatter of the plates, cups, goblets, glasses and bowls that Helen had horded under the bed. Delsani slid off of the bed on to his knees, looked under as if to confirm with his eyes what he had heard with his ears. He laughed after seeing the mess she had left, which was the last thing that Helen had expected. He looked at her with a smile on his thin lips and said. “If I had known that you were looking for something to collect as a hobby, I would have suggested something that didn’t smell as bad.”
“I’m sorry. It’s just that I couldn’t bring myself to leave the room until today, and I didn’t want to bother you with something as stupid as dirty plates. I mean, with everything that you’ve had to think about and do. I didn’t think –” She stopped, not knowing what else to say.
Delsani’s smile widened and he took out his wand, pointed it at the bed and said, “Clennos,” A light came from under the bed, and the smell disappeared. Then the Wizard waved the wand, and there was another light, and then there seemed to be movement coming from under the bed. To Helen it sounded like the dishes moving around and, true enough, one of the plates pushed its way out from behind the overhanging bed clothes. And to Helen’s surprise, it had legs and was now so clean that it sparkled as it walked to the door. Then the other dishes began to find their way out from under the bed. They, too, were sparkling clean and were walking to the door.
“Are you all right Helen? You look as though you have never seen a plate with feet before,” said Delsani sarcastically.
“Oh, very funny,” laughed Helen.
Delsani laughed. “It’s good to see a smile back on your face.”
“It’s good to feel a smile back on my face,” said Helen wearily.
Delsani sat back on the bed with the note pad still in his hand. He held his wand over the small page of parchment on the pad and the wand turned into a white quill as Helen sank back down onto the armchair. “What would you like to eat?” he asked.
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After Helen looked up from her third plate of Norkgilop steak, she was still feeling hungry. “Are you going to eat that?” she asked Delsani, who had not even touched the steak that was on the plate he had resting on his lap.
“No,” said Delsani, as he handed the plate over. “I prefer not to eat those poor creatures.”
“Then why order it?”
“I ordered it in case you still felt hungry, and I was just waiting to see if I had to send it back.”
But Helen had hardly heard his reply; for she was too busy enjoying the steak, which she was already halfway through. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t stop eating.”
“Helen, I think that I would be more concerned if you weren’t eating,” said the Wizard looking, surprised at the speed she had engulfed her food. For in no time at all the Queen had finished the steak. She put her plate on top of the others on the floor and gulped down the last of her Gusjat juice. She looked over the rim of her mug while nervously rubbing its handle with her thumb and said in a humble voice, “I don’t think that I can go back to my normal life just yet. I mean all the questions and rumours that will surface about John’s death. I don’t think I’m ready to face that yet. Maybe in another little while, I might be ready, if that’s all right?”
This did not surprise Delsani. He had thought Helen might have wanted to stay a little longer. “As I said before, it is up to you to decide when you want to go. But is that the real reason? If so, you don’t need to worry, for I can make it so that they will believe whatever story you wish to tell them, with the permission of the Grand Wizard and Council of course.”
“You’re right, that’s not the real reason,” said Helen. “The truth is that I don’t want to believe John is ...”
“Dead,” Delsani said.
Helen nodded. “I know it must seem silly that I can’t even say it. But I can’t help thinking that maybe you were wrong, no offence intended.” Helen stared at the Wizard for a second to see his reaction. When he did not seem to be offended she continued. “I mean I can’t help feeling that John could still be alive.”
“I know how you feel; I felt the same way when my wife died. And I know that you probably don’t want to talk about it, but you’ll feel better for it in the end. Only with me it was the Council that I didn’t want to leave, for I thought that staying would make easier to live with, but Helen, I was wrong. What I needed was to except the truth and get on with my life. I know this will sound, cold but you need to do the same,” said Delsani.
Helen noticed there were tears welling in the Wizard’s eyes.
“I’m sorry to hear about your wife,” said Helen, “and I’m sure that it’s hard. I mean, I know how close you were to John. Like father and son. I think you said.”
“Yes, he was like a son, but the truth is that my real son came back just before I left to find John. And he died not long after I was told of his arrival. That is why I requested to go to John. I needed to see him again. It seems that John’s death has brought back old memories. They were a lot alike.”