Sometimes the true challenge is learning how to not give up.

-From Canticles: 1:16

She followed the trail created by Tok’s constant travel. Worn down to hardened dirt already, shaded by trees. He always came to the nest along the same route.

That… is important..? She wasn’t sure.

Pain… Thoughts are… hard…

Blood spattered to the ground with each staggering stride forward. The mud caked on it had slowed the bleeding, but it hadn’t stopped it.

Leaving a trail… That didn’t matter now.

The wound twinged as particulate in the mud ground deeper into it.

Infection, in the soil.

The neonate knew. It was what would kill her.

She couldn’t discern her thoughts and the drives of her Instinct anymore, the pain was that bad.

She found the Provider, and his lazy red eyes slid to regard her. Gritting her teeth she forced herself towards him, whining.

Did the pupils dilate?

Does that matter? Why would that matter?

The bush lay discarded next to him, completely denuded of all its leaves. She quirked her head and saw that he was chewing, more leaves still in his mouth… and a green paste on his arm?

Seen that before… where?

She struggled, pressing her hands against the wound.

Biter and Slash… The paste. Pain spiked as she breathed in, and the thought skittered away. Forcing her to hunt it down.

He continued chewing. His movements looked rehearsed, a behavior that had been done many times. He spat out some leaves, smeared the paste on his arm. The one with the cut.

Learn.

Pushing through the fog of pain, she looked at the other scars along his body. They were under thick scales, but she could tell where they were.

Then it clicked, and her eyes went wide. Realization undamming her thoughts.

Wounds! Leaves! Healing!

Survive! Instinct screamed, slamming against her pain. Wrestling it down. Fighting to keep herself alive through action!

She rushed forward, climbing onto him.

He rumbled threateningly.

Bloody mud spattered onto his forearm as she went for the hand with leaves in it. She reached out to grab some for herse-

Smack!

Tok’s other hand collided with her form. She squealed in pain, sailing through the air. The neonate bounced three times off of the ground, finally skidding to a stop. Whining in pain, she curled in around her slashed abdomen. It had been jarred horribly by his strike and was bleeding again.

Why? No…

“I will not help,” he growled, throwing menace at her with a casualness that was far more terrifying than if he had been malicious. And she knew he was right.

Everything he had taught them had made it perfectly clear that he would not. He judged. He brought food. He taught basic lessons. They had to struggle through the rest.

Panting in agony, she clenched her jaw. Her survival was within her grasp.

I deserve to live… I need to prove it.

Adapt! Survive… Her Instinct gasped from the cut.

He nodded and took some of the leaves he had been chewing and smeared them into the gash on his arm. She knew what the plant looked like… she had to find it…

Her Instinct whimpered in her subconscious, white and brownish yellow fear wafting from it.

She forced herself to her feet. Catching one last glimpse of the shape and color of the leaves before struggling out into the island. She found some fresh mud, smearing it over her wound painfully in the hopes it would slow the bleeding like before. In her mind she chanted the shapes, searching with staring frantic eyes.

Variegated raindrops. Green ringed with white. Wide bush.

The neonate hadn’t done such an exhaustive exploration of the island before. She had mostly been sticking to just looking for berries and insects as well as hiding from the others. Nor had she thought to ask Tok about the plants of the island. Why would she care? She wasn’t prey.

At least, she didn’t want to be.

Her tongue flickered out.

Predator!

She hissed and hid under a willow root, pressing against the bark. A Tikabo slunk out of its wallow of mud that was little more than an oversized puddle. Wide head, stubby snout, she saw two rows of teeth as it gulped air. There were several wicked bladelike teeth at the front of its mouth in both rows.

They were supported by much smaller peg like ones. The blade-teeth intersected, and she wouldn’t be surprized if they were self-sharpening.

It was a salamander, an amphibian. She remembered the eggs she had seen running from the kingbill.

Damn… Forgot to eat those.

It had stubby legs, maybe only four inches long each compared to the creatures almost forty inch long body. It did grip things with its tiny hands, but for the most part it used sinuous body to slither across the ground. Its long-finned tail helping it maneuver through the mud. Towards the river.

She winced as the wound throbbed again.

Hurry!

She stayed still, scales dark brown and striped like the root, eyes almost completely closed to hide their shine.

She was glad the wind was blowing towards her, and away from the Tikabo. If she hadn’t been injured she would have easily outrun the creature. But now she wasn’t sure she could get away from it. Even with it being so awkward on land.

And as she was hiding, she saw her prize.

There! Her Instinct crowed.

One of the bushes with variegated white and green leaves.

Impatiently the neonate waited for the Tikabo to leave, gurgling wetly as it struggled over land. When it was gone she limped over, groaning and snarling quietly against the pain. Tearing some of the leaves free. She tried not to make more noise than needed, not sure what else was lurking in the nearby brush.

She shoved some into her mouth, chewing franticly. As she did, she staggered to a shaded part of the river. The water, typically lazy and somewhat stagnant, was fast flowing and clear for once.

Soon. Her Instinct hissed.

The neonate ignored that, just happy for the fresher water. She used it to wash away most of the mud. She hissed at the pain, fighting it, struggling against it.

Her teeth were not designed to chew the leaves efficiently. There was a lot of juice. She swallowed a tiny amount before spitting the bitter substance out.

I will not die here! Gods grant me strength! Let me be a champion! She regretted the blasphemy.

I rather enjoyed it.

Survive! Her Instinct gnashed, fighting against the agony. Against the terror.

I am worthy of a name! I am worthy of the brood! I will prove it! To all who need to see!

She would be the pinnacle of the Truescales! She promised herself to make it clear to the world someday. She would prove it. Prove it to her rivals, to Tok, even to the gods.

But most of all, she would prove it to herself.

As she started smearing the chewed leaves over the wound, there was a sudden stinging bite of pain, worse than earlier when she scrubbed out the mud.

She hissed, but kept going. Not long after, cooling relief washed over her and the bleeding started to subside. She took advantage of the lessening pain and gathered some more leaves from the bush.

Instinct pushed its way to the fore of her mind again. That’s enough. I should find another and take from that one. Keep them alive so they can do the same for me.

She couldn’t fault the impulse of her hindbrain.

She had resolved to truly think about the drives her Instinct forced upon her, even more so than she already had been. It would be hard, but she had almost died, and that was not acceptable.

The thought of doing her best to live sent her Instinct into a litany of mantras that she ignored, which surprised her. She had to come up with a way to eat though. That was her most pressing concern if she survived.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

The neonate spent the day searching for the herb, traveling through the underbrush of the island and memorizing where the various bushes were. She thought about how she would get more food, periodically chewing up fresh leaves and replacing the poultice on her injury.

She couldn’t compete at all. Not wounded like this. But she would need to eat.

Tikabo eggs. Her Instinct suggested.

She had forgotten about them again. She wondered what they would taste like. Starting to relax with the jagged edge of her pain smoothed down.

Heal first. Food later. Hunger wouldn’t kill her as fast as compounding injuries. With that in mind, she felt she should find a secluded space. Somewhere away from the others.

Somewhere warm. She might as well be comfortable. She slunk through the underbrush, shifting patterns as necessary. Her tail twitching.

The neonate’s movements were slow, letting her pause when five of the others sprinted past. She crouched lower, behind a stone, and became a part of it. Gray with clear crystals in it. It wasn’t hard to match.

She liked matching colors.

What?

She shook her head, vertebrae shifting back into place with quiet pops, and she moved to the shadows, matching their hue. Continuing her trek.

She had an idea of where she wanted to go. It wasn’t too much farther. She stumbled on a stone, catching herself, and not making much noise.

Good, still quiet.

The brood might take advantage of her weakened state. She had seen it happen to others, getting used as sparring practice. Never to the death, at least, not in the moment. But until she got those Tikabo eggs she couldn’t afford the energy it would take to get away. She had to only spend energy on healing.

CRRRROOOOAAAK!

Mawfrog!

Fighting down a snarl she forced herself up into the canopy. Climbing desperately. Pain thumped occasionally through the numbing effect of the leaves, and she forced herself to work through it.

I will not get killed by an amphibian!

She turned to watch, needing to know where to flee to if it somehow proved able to climb. She watched as it hopped by below.

A kingbill rattled over on the far shore and both she and the beast froze. Was the pattern of its slimy skin… changing?

Odd…

There was another rattle, and Tok bellowed back. It was a wall of sound, and she nearly fell out of the tree. The mawfrog croaked and fled, hopping back the way it came. Fleeing to the water.

Pale orange amusement flickered through her thoughts, her pattern reflecting that with the same hue. It blinked like droplets falling into water, the ‘high points’ of the ripples also changing. She observed it with a strange contented feeling for a moment. As the territorial roar subsided, she could hear the distant sounds of wingbeats.

Good. Hate them too…

She climbed back down. Her clawed feet scraped against the muddy ground, and her expression tightened with pain.

Need more leaves…

Yes, chew! Now!

Ruin first…

She finally found what she was looking for. A leaning structure made of shaped stone blocks. Four sided. It looked like the top had fallen away. Vines climbed to the top, and she used them as easier holds to do the same herself.

She had spotted it in one of her expeditions to find food, and it seemed to be the perfect place to rest. Not near anything of note, and under the canopy of trees. Only just enough to hide it from above, the sun’s rays shining through the leaves to make the area bright and verdant green.

She kept getting distracted on her way up to the top, but she made it, flopping down on her back to stare up at the leaves and enjoy the heat of the sun that pushed through them. She stretched out, facing the sky, panting.

It hurt to lay down. It hurt to breathe. Her entire existence was that of a creature in constant agony. Not as bad as it could have been without the leaves, but still painful. At least the stone was warm from the sun.

The heat bled into her, not reducing the pain of her wound, but soothing the aches of her muscles. Acting as a balm to her frayed nerves.

White clouds drifted aimlessly out of reach above her. The neonate caught glimpses of them through the fluttering leaves. For once, she let herself forget about the life and death struggle of the trial.

The warmth is nice.

Her Instinct grunted.

She hissed out a soft sigh of mild relief.

She stretched out on the rough stone, grunting in the back of her throat. Doing so eased the pressure on her wound. She ran a hand against the rock, its jagged furrows a fitting counterpoint to her pain.

She took advantage of the position and delicately cleaned the cut with her claws. Plucking out twigs and pebbles. Scooping out remnants of mud. Wincing and gasping as she did. She packed it full with more freshly chewed leaves, the flavor cold in an odd way in her mouth.

She wondered again why Tok’s use of the same route to bring the food every day was so important. Even full, the day’s events made it hard to concentrate on the idea.

She sighed, placing her hands on the stone, struggling for a moment before matching its hue and pattern. Perhaps letting the idea stew for a while would allow her to come to a conclusion.

So warm, so… soft? She pondered the odd sensation. Realizing that her head felt top-heavy as well. It didn’t matter. She should think… She liked thinking…

She had noticed something else. While the amount of food brought by Tok had steadily increased as the brood grew, it wasn’t proportional to their needs. She had seen more and more of the others being pushed away from the food, even though there were less of them. Even though the creatures the Provider brought were much larger.

Probably to force us to hunt.

Her Instinct grunted, sliding through her skin, feeling how the stone pressed nicely against her body. When had the leaves turned blue?

Concern flickered into her thoughts. Something was wrong. But the feeling faded quickly.

She found she only had room for one line of reasoning in her mind at the moment.

The amount of energy that they each had to exert to get any food from what was provided was on the rise with them all getting more deadly. Sneakier. More skilled. And their growth required more food as well. A cycle of ever compounding difficulty.

It is time to start providing for myself. Reliably.

Her Instinct grunted.

She looked at the clouds through the canopy, losing track of time for a moment. She was beginning to suspect that her current languor was from the healing leaves.

The ratio of food might even begin to decrease again, depending on what the target number of successful hatchlings would be allowed to pass the trial. She was sure that, eventually, they would have to start supplementing their own diets with things they gathered on their own.

Her yellow eyes moved lazily as she watched a dragonfly hum past, its wings iridescent and distracting. She felt like she was spinning slowly.

Definitely an effect of the herb.

She’d have to let the latest batch of leaves sit for a while.

The lazy floating feeling her mind was wafting through was in its own novel way, pleasant. Still, she knew this languor would only make her more of a target for the others.

There was a loud croak of a mawfrog in the distance, answered by another even farther away.

Or any swamp predators.

She doubted that would be an issue.

Too far inland. Too high up.

She shifted on the stone pillar, wincing slightly, appreciative of the indifference granted by the leaves. How she wasn’t stressed about anything at all. She was also glad that she had managed to eat her fill today. It would grant her more time to figure out a different strategy before she would starve to death.

Tikabo eggs? She remembered those. Maybe she could sneak over and get some. She started to sit up, but quickly laid back down as her head spiraled even faster.

Cicadas called again. The sun moved through the sky.

Her vision started to blur a little bit as she stopped focusing on anything. That was fine.

She lazily slid her forked tongue out from between her lips, tasting the air. Not thinking of much. Her thoughts replaced by a pleasant buzzing. Or a sort of hum?

She wanted to eat something.

Unfortunately, she wouldn’t be able to search for food right away, as she needed to focus on healing and rest.

She was sure that there were more methods to surviving. She just had to find them. The healing herbs proved that there were other secrets and learning opportunities on the island. She also could learn much from observing the others from afar. Watching their struggles and their successes.

They might also have their own secrets that she could find out, which could play a key role in her survival. And not the ones that were currently dominating the trial, but the ones like the neonate. Ones who already were supplementing what the Provider brought to them.

True, success through struggle. Her Instinct mused, pulling at her hand to take more of the leaves into her mouth. She did so, chewing slowly. Swallowing the juice.

The wind played across her scales, and she let herself doze as the clouds drifted by. Losing track of time and resigning herself to spending more time healing. As she basked in her stupor, a shadow loomed over her resting form.

She was supposed to do something when that happened, right?

A massive hand reached down, scooping her up.

Such a lovely feeling… being held… Her thoughts were jumbled.

The world twisted before her eyes. Wiggling shapes of every color.

Beautiful…

Her Instinct grunted.

Her tongue slid out languidly. Wanting to smell them. Smell the colors.

What the neonate could smell was a powerful predator. A reassuring scent. Something glittered, ivory white in the sunlight. She couldn’t move, but everything felt so… peaceful… She could see the black scaled hand beneath her as she flopped almost bonelessly in its grasp. She tried to move, but everything was so… heavy.

She sighed contentedly. A bright blue worm wiggled in front of her and she tried to snap at it. Wanting to catch it. A fleeting impulse as she was mesmerized by its bright color. Flopping over and nearly falling out of the massive hand holding her. More orange amusement filled her fuzzy mind.

Something muffled in the background screamed for her to run, to move, to do anything, but all she could manage was another sigh.

The movement stopped, then a massive finger pressed on her and she squeaked in surprise, rolling over. The hand lowered her back to the top of the ruined stone pillar, pulling away. The shadow moved as well, no longer shading her.

Time ground on, and it became evening. Her mind less fogged, she forced herself to stand. The leaves had scattered around the foundation of the rock pillar.

Using the carvings in the four sided structure as handholds, she descended, scooping them back up irritably when she was back on the ground. She chewed only a few, not wanting to feel like that again, pushing the poultice into her wound and spitting out the bitter juice.

Food… warmth… now… Her Instinct grumbled. She could sense that it wanted her to feel that way again.

The neonate knew of only one place that would provide consistent warmth. She made her way back to where Tok stayed in between his periodic rounds of the island and deliveries of food. He had a fire there.

As she staggered and steadied herself against the ground, she almost vomited. Feeling horrible. She could feel the appraisal in the lazy red eyes that followed her as she managed to stand up straight, stiffly moving closer to the fire. Leaves still gripped in a fist.

She moved cautiously, both because of her injury and also because she didn’t want to get hit again. He didn’t stop her, and soon she was crouched in an empty space next to the smoldering coals.

She curled up close enough to get some ambient warmth from it, and Tok didn’t stop her. His eyes slid down to her hands, seeing the leaves in them, then he looked back up at her face.

He grunted.

He is impressed!

The tiniest fraction of pride filled her body, washing over her as the sunshine yellow of satisfaction flashed through her scales in thin stripes.

Still silent, he slowly looked out across the water, towards the setting sun. She found herself also looking in that direction.

They shared the moment in silence.

The crimson-orange sun slowly sank below the horizon, illuminating the river as it did so. A heron flew across the river, mawfrogs croaked, and cicadas buzzed loudly as night slowly descended.

Tok lifted the strange device he had made a few days ago, pushing dried brown leaves into it and, taking a glowing coal from his fire in pinched claws, lighting them. He breathed in through the reed, and soon smoke wafted out of his maw and the device. It had a rich scent, almost sweet.

“I have needed a pipe for some time now.” He rumbled.

She didn’t answer. She didn’t need to.

They both sat in silence together, enjoying the natural world for what it was.

The next day would be difficult, but for that moment before sleeping, she felt accomplished and acknowledged. He wouldn’t help her. As a Provider he couldn’t. But knowing that he approved of her ability to adapt was all the strength she needed to push herself forward.

She would go see if she could steal those Tikabo eggs soon. At least before they became tadpoles.